Random Glimpses
by 0atis
Summary: A kind of sequel/side story for Glimpse. The hard roads to obtaining a happily ever after for the same woman on two vastly different, yet parallel, paths.
1. Ohio Santana Part 1

Random Glimpses

By

0atis

This is a sorta-sequel to my story Glimpse, if you haven't read that I encourage you to, if you don't want to but wish to read on anyway, erm, enjoy as best you can brave reader.

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><p><strong>Lima, Ohio<strong>

Santana woke with a jerk, like someone who had just been scared awake with a sudden noise, but the room was quiet. The moment she sat up she knew everything was wrong, though visually little had changed.

The hum of the air conditioner in what should have been the middle of winter, the utter lack of screaming children on what should have been Christmas Day and most importantly her lack of clothes when she remembered putting on her pajamas before going to bed, were a few things on the long list of odd changes. Looking down and seeing Brittany in the same state of undress made her feel absolutely horrible.

It had been hell for her to avoid having relations with her wife for so long but she had sworn to herself that as long as Selena was in the picture she could no longer allow herself that indulgence. Clearly she had broken that rule, in the middle of the night… somehow. Though surprising that it had managed to happen without her recollection, it wasn't a big shock that her intense longing for the intimacy of their earlier relationship had manifested itself in some way.

Still disoriented she stood and dressed wondering why everything seemed to have moved, like someone had just broken in and changed all the tiny details of her life. Still trying to remember exactly what she had done the previous night she staggered out of the bedroom and into the hall. She was going to turn and head into the living room when she spotted Ella peaking at her from the door of her room at the other end of the hall.

"I thought you and Violet would have been up and opening presents by now." She said trying to ignore the wriggling feeling she got as she looked at her, the girl reminding her what a mistake last night was whether she recalled it or not.

Ella looked at her with sad frightened eyes and it hurt her heart to see that this was what she had made of the family that was once so happy, "It's just Saturday, Christmas was last year." She walked down the hall hesitantly to where Santana was currently trying to process what she had said.

"What are you talking about? Today is Christmas."

Timidly Ella grabbed her hand, as if unsure she would snatch it away or not, but when she didn't she led her mother to the living room to see that there was not a single Christmas decoration anywhere and through the windows she could see that the surrounding houses were in the same state. The roads and houses were completely devoid of the snow that had made bringing the presents home a nearly fatal ordeal.

"You were gone for a while it's June now." Ella said quietly.

Santana looked down at her, confusion all over her face, "Gone?"

"There was a different Santana here for a while."

She looked at her daughter like she was growing a second head, "What?"

"She came and everything got better." At this a distant mournful look came over her.

"Is this supposed to be a joke?"

"Mom knows about Ms. Novak." She said right before the sound of Brittany entering the living room ended their conversation.

Santana looked over to her wife expecting a slap followed by screaming and crying but instead she was met with soft inviting lips that gave her a kiss reserved for those who had recently been intimate.

"Morning." Brittany said in a playfully seductive voice before moving into the couch where she was shortly joined by Violet for Saturday cartoons.

Santana spun back to Ella, who was looking afraid and oddly hopeful, and knelt close to her, "What did you say to her?" she growled, her anger and confusion at everything making her short fuse shorter.

Ella took a step back in fear and Santana immediately regretted her actions as she always seemed to around her daughter, "I didn't say anything." She said near tears.

In all of their arguments Santana had never seen Ella look even remotely affected by anything she said, the girl was tough as nails and it had always been something that drove her nuts as she defiantly went out of her way to be a bother. Seeing her this way made Santana just feel like a bad parent _and_ a bully.

"I'm sorry." She said quickly before Ella's distress reached Brittany's ears, her wife had superhuman hearing when it came to their children. Luckily she was too busy discussing the morning's channel itinerary to have heard the exchange, "I didn't mean to get upset. Can we talk?" she asked trying to sound as calm as she was pretending to be.

Her daughter nodded and escorted her to the room she shared with Violet, Santana noticed that there were items she didn't recognize all over the place and Violet's bed was covered in new Jimmy Newtron bed sheets. She looked around at all the minor changes before her gaze returned to Ella who was looking fearful again.

Santana took a deep breath and let it out slowly, determined to not let her daughter be on the receiving end of her unjustified anger again, "I'm sorry about before. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I do need to know what you meant about before… about Ms. Novak."

Ella just looked at the floor, "Mom knows about her already. The other you told her."

She felt like her world was tilting, "What do you mean the other me? What are you talking about?" she whispered fiercely all while keeping her ever flaring temper in check.

"There was someone else here, she was you, but really different."

"Different how?"

Ella shrugged, "She liked me." She said sadly.

Santana flinched, that had stung bad, she sighed and knelt before her daughter, "Ella I don't dislike you. I love you very much and I know I have been really bad at showing that but I do."

Ella looked like she wanted to believe those words but obviously didn't, she nodded her head meekly and stared at the floor.

For the first time Santana began to see how her short temper had actually affected the smaller girl and if it were possible she felt even worse, Ella never showed vulnerability and because of that somewhere along the line Santana had forgotten that despite all the bravado she was still a child, moreover she was a Lopez child and hiding hurt behind false bravery was almost textbook in her family.

Tentatively she pulled her daughter into a hug that was only half returned, "I truly am sorry." She said again her voice low but strong, "You do understand that don't you?"

She felt a slight nod against her shoulder and released Ella looking into her hazel eyes now full of hope but not void of sorrow.

"Wanna watch cartoons?" Ella asked shyly.

Normally Santana would decline as the weekend for her was usually more busy than a weekday and now more than ever she needed to figure out what the hell had happened to her life. But looking down at those eyes that both feared and expected rejection she couldn't possibly say no.

"Alright." She said putting on her best smile despite her still raging internal panic.

Clearly surprised Ella beamed up at her and took off for the living room, Santana followed unable to stop the giddy happiness that welled up next to the almost overwhelming fear at the sight of the child's joy. Deciding she needed to calm down before she could begin to sort through everything she made her way to the couch and sat next to Ella, Violet and Brittany were on the floor opting to sit inadvisably close to the television.

Upon seeing her arrive Brittany smiled widely and joined her plopping down right next to her wife and throwing her legs in her lap, "I love that you watch television with us again." She said quietly into her ear accenting it with a light peck to the cheek.

Santana had once upon a time watched cartoons with her family on Saturdays but work, stress and a need to jog it off made her stop. That and an overwhelming sense of guilt that kept her away from activities that put her Brittany and Ella in the same place for extended periods of time. However before Santana could come up with some sort of reply Violet spun around her blue eye shining in a way that reminded the brunette so strongly of Brittany.

"Can we make our own breakfast today if you're not making any?" she asked already halfway off the floor.

Santana sighed heavily, she had completely forgotten about breakfast and just like that the unease from before crept back in and overwhelmed her, "Yeah, sorry I've just been off my game today."

Before she had even really finished that sentence Violet was up and racing to the kitchen, several sounds of shuffling plates and silverware later she was padding back to the living room a plate of something indistinguishable in her hand. Santana frowned suspiciously as she watched her oldest child eat something she was so sure she couldn't be seeing.

"Is that cake?" she asked incredulously.

Violet turned with her fork hanging out of her mouth and her cheeks puffed out cutely from the mouthful of the sugary substance, "Yeth." She somehow managed to say.

She wanted to go off on how cake was not an acceptable breakfast item but ground her teeth instead, there were already too many things to deal with and she could sense Brittany preparing to run interference on her left and Ella tensing up nervously on her right.

Letting out a calming breath she asked, "Where did you get cake?"

The small blonde chewed excessively before swallowing her mouthful, "It was in the fridge."

"Yes but how did it get there?"

"It's okay San it's just what was left over from the baby shower so there's not a lot left." Brittany said a pleading note in her voice as she ran her fingers soothingly through Santana's hair.

Santana felt her blood freeze, "Baby shower?" she said so quietly Brittany would have missed it if she weren't so close.

"Yes silly," she laughed, "from last night."

"Whose…" Santana paused when she felt a tug at her sleeve and turned to see Ella beckoning her closer, she leaned over offering her ear.

Ella cupped her hand and whispered, "Mom's pregnant, it was her baby shower last night."

Everything went from cold to completely numb, she turned and looked at her daughter hoping to see a joking smile but she was dead serious. The panic was back and it was making her nauseous with its force.

Just as she was feeling she might need to launch herself towards the bathroom there was a loud knock at the door. She was relieved for something to take her mind off the insanity and disentangled herself from Brittany to go get the door only to feel a new sense of panic when she got there as she was unsure if what was on the other side of the door would unleash a whole new bag of what-the-fuck into her life. However when she opened it and saw Puck standing there in his jogging clothes she let out a sigh of relief, here was something constant and normal and she needed it more than anything in the world at the moment.

"You gonna jog in that?" he asked eyeing her casual dress.

Santana gave some thought to changing but she was so desperate to be out of the twilight zone that had once been her house she nodded, grabbed her shoes by the door and gave a brief wave to her family, feeling a little bad about leaving so abruptly when she spotted Ella eyeing her sadly.

Puck gave her an odd look as she began to their jog as if everything were completely normal even though she was wearing jeans and a spaghetti strap top. Shrugging he fell in step next to her and they began their weekend workout.

At first it was just silence, Santana just clearing her mind and determinedly not thinking of anything at all, just focusing on not hyperventilating and hoping that when she let her mind focus again everything would be normal again.

Unfortunately this state of temporary forced peace was broken by Puck.

"So you feeling better since last night?" he asked casually.

Santana groaned in frustration as all the panic and confusion came crashing back and her stomach started to roll as this further confirmation that she had somehow skipped several months of her life became even more real.

"What was wrong with me last night?" she asked stopping mid stride, putting her hands on her hips and looking up at the sky wondering what new horror was going to hit her ears.

"I don't know you wouldn't tell me you just looked all sad and tired and shit. If you still don't want to talk about it that's fine." He watched her for a moment and even though she was looking at the sky he could see her carefully constructed mask of calm cracking, "To be honest you look a little worse today… like more panicked."

She looked down at him and gave a dry laugh, "I woke up today and it's June!"

He stared at her blankly waiting for her to elaborate and when she didn't he frowned waving his hand for her to continue, "Aaand."

"And when I went to sleep last night it was Christmas Eve of last fucking year! I wake up to find that not only is my wife pregnant but apparently everyone but me knows it!"

She expected him to laugh or at least question her further but instead a worried expression crossed his face, "Are you kidding me?"

"No." she said simply a little thrown that he was taking her seriously.

He ran his fingers through his short hair letting out a hiss of air, "Right." He said simply and jerked his head back to the sidewalk, "Come on." He said and continued on their jog.

She was even more confused by this but followed him deciding maybe in this new world Puck just didn't respond to crazy ramblings. They went on in silence and Santana opted to just clear her mind again and deal with it all later because it was all just too much for a Saturday in June that should have been Christmas in December. She was so lost in not thinking about anything she didn't realize that they were far off their usual route, it was only when she stopped did she realize she was standing in front of the door of the local clinic. She looked questioningly at Puck as he opened the door for her.

"I should have taken you straight here the first time."

"What do you mean the first time?" she asked but the only answer she got was Puck shoving her in the door.

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><p>Santana's day had started off with confusion and ended with a numbing sort of acceptance, she had gone through a battery of test that had turned up nothing and she was still awaiting the results of several more that she was pretty sure would show just as much nothing as the others had. The doctor had suggested that the problem wasn't physical but mental and had given her the number of a psychologist that Puck had immediately phoned and made an appointment with. Puck had done it because Santana had been too busy freaking out over the thought of her going mentally insane.<p>

Deciding she needed a little help Puck brought her to his bar and got a few beers in her to keep that wild fearful look off her face. He tried to help by retelling the conversation he'd had with her when she had first claimed memory loss but that only served to make her look painfully sad at the thought of not remembering her children. Three beers later though she was able to finally lean back in the booth and almost smile about the whole thing.

"So did I totally fuck over the Cherrios?" she asked lazily after a while.

"What? No way you guys are sure to win." He said genuinely taking a swig of beer.

"Are you just saying that?"

"No caught a peek at em a little while ago, they were in top shape."

"We still using that insane move I made up?"

He chuckled, "Yeah only cause Jamie lands it every time."

"That girl is something else, reminds me of a young me."

"No if she was a young you she would have busted her ass on the first try." He jibed.

Santana smiled lightly at that and toyed absently with her beer bottle, "Noah what happened with Selena? What… what did I do?"

He took several deep gulps before he put the bottle down and looked at her, "It was pretty fucking awful."

Santana looked away, "It broke her heart didn't it?"

"Smashed it." he paused before he continued, "Me, Quinn and Brittany went to see a movie that night and you were supposed to meet up with us but you never showed. We assumed you had to work late or something but after the movie Britt got a call to come get you at the school. I drove us there and waited outside for her to get you but then she comes running out and she looked…" he paused, "I have never seen her like that."

Santana felt a hard chill run up her spine, "She saw us together?" Her voice was dry and broken.

"That bitch set it up so that Brittany would walk in on the two of you but when you didn't play her way she drugged you and, I don't know, made out with you or something. I'm not exactly sure what she did because either Brittany didn't want to tell Quinn or Quinn didn't want to tell me."

She nodded knowing Selena was fully capable of that level of insanity and cruelty, she tried not to imagine the look that would have been on Brittany's face because it made her stomach twist painfully.

"So she gets in the car and she's just screaming for us to go, and Quinn's asking where you are and then she just starts crying uncontrollably and I just drove. I was a little scared because I just have never seen Britt that upset, ever. We get her home and Quinn tries to calm her down and… it was a mess. Then she chills out a little but you pulled up after a while and Brittany almost loses her mind cause she just can't face you so Quinn takes her into the bedroom and I have to get you to back off for the night."

Santana's face was expressionless because she knew if she did anything it would be to cry enough to make a scene so she remained neutral, "How did I take that?"

He laughed bitterly, "Not well."

"I can imagine."

"But I get you to cool it and you go off somewhere, I have no idea where, and the next day I went to your house, I had to break in through the garage but I got in, talked to Brittany and got her to talk to you."

She smiles warmly at him, "Thank you."

He fidgeted, slightly embarrassed by the intensity of her stare, "You know, whatever, I promised I would and stuff. So I get you over to talk to her and it takes some time but you guys work it out. I don't know what you said but you talked your way out of the biggest disaster I had ever seen in my life."

"I wish I knew what I said because I ran over scenarios like that for ages and came up blank."

"Santana can I be honest?"

"Of course."

"I don't understand you, I get that what Britt saw was a setup but later Quinn tells me that it hadn't always been, that you really were sleeping with Selena. I mean what the fuck?"

"It was a mistake I never plan to make again, that's all." She said seriously.

"Good cause I'm not going to back you up if you do some silly shit like that again."

She nodded, "I wouldn't back me up either."

He gave a quick nod before he spoke again, "After that me and the guys at the bar kept an eye on her and made sure she didn't jump you again. I still check up on her every now and then." She gave him that knowing thankful smile again and he suddenly became interested in his beer again, "Just keeping my girls safe. Anyway you two make up and you even get her wanting to have a baby again, we just found out last week that she was pregnant."

Santana nodded, she had known Brittany wanted another baby for a while but just couldn't agree with Selena around and things going so badly with Ella. She was glad this other self, this other part of her or whatever it was had gotten her stupid self inflicted catastrophe straightened out enough to give Brittany what she deserved.

"I'm glad it got to that point. Where she would trust me that much ever again." She said unable to prevent a few tears from falling.

Puck averted his eyes and she wiped them away feeling a weird combination of elation, sadness and pride.

"Be sure and get it right this time." He said quietly.

"You have nothing to fear, this life lesson kicked my ass and left a shoeprint on my colon."

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><p>It was late when Santana managed to get home, there were a few lights on but she didn't see anyone around. Deciding she was alright with that she went into her bedroom, took a shower and was about to go to bed when there was a soft tentative knock on the door.<p>

Confused she opened the door and was surprised to see Ella there. The small girl looked up at her through wide hazel eyes and pointed down the hall at her bedroom, "Mom's in there if you were looking for her."

Santana frowned and went down the hall to find that, sure enough, Brittany was asleep in Violet's bed, her daughter wrapped tightly in her arms as she slept.

She knelt next to Ella and whispered, "What is she doing here?"

"You didn't call and she was worried."

Santana winced in understanding, Brittany never wanted to seem clingy even though it was in her nature so she would usually seek others for comfort when she was worried about Santana returning late. When they had first been married and she'd had late study sessions or got caught up with something she would return home to find that Brittany was over Quinn's usually interrupting her private time with Puck. Up until now Santana had always made it a point to let her wife know where she was.

"I got a little caught up, I went to the doctor to try and figure out what is wrong with my memory."

Ella gave her a look that told her she was hesitant to say what she did, "You smell like beer and cigarettes."

Santana had to laugh, before that might have made her upset but somehow the strangeness of the day had liberated her of all that, so did the fact that Ella was clearly not trying to goad her into an argument.

"I went to Puck's bar after." She stood and moved to wake Brittany but Ella's voice stopped her.

"You aren't sick." She said quietly.

Santana turned and gave her an odd look, "What?"

"You aren't sick. You didn't forget everything because it wasn't you, it was a different person."

Turning she knelt in front of her daughter wishing she understood her own situation better before trying to explain it to someone else, "There are all types of sicknesses in the world and some of them make people honestly believe they are someone else and I think I have one."

Her daughter stubbornly shook her head, "No. I gave her a bracelet me and Violet made, she was wearing it last night but you don't have it."

Santana gave her a bewildered look and glanced down at her bare wrist, "I could have just taken it off."

Another head shake, "No she wore it all the time."

"Ella why are you so convinced she isn't me?"

"Because she wasn't, she was the same but really different at the same time. We did stuff together and she talked to me all the time."

_"She liked me."_ Ella's words from before echoed in Santana's mind and her face fell.

"We can do that. I know things have been bad with us for a while but I want to make it better, so do you think we can try? Could you try and find a little of her in me?"

Santana didn't know why but that put a hopeful light in the small girls eyes and she nodded vigorously before she wrapped her mother in a tight hug with trembling arms, "I'm sorry I said I would tell I really am, I wasn't going to. I told the other you but I need to tell you too." She cried quietly so as not to wake Violet and Brittany.

Breathing a sigh of relief Santana hugged her back, the embrace feeling like so much more than the one they had shared that morning, "I never should have put you in that position and it was so incredibly wrong of me to take it out on you Ella. I never meant to hurt you."

"Me either I didn't want to make you mad but you wouldn't talk to me and I thought you never would unless I did something to make you yell at me." She confessed, hot tears running on Santana's shoulders as the confession poured out of her and she tightened her arms around her mother.

Santana comfortingly rubbed her back and stood lifting the girl into her arms, still cradling her she sat on Ella's bed and lay down holding the child to her all while giving calming, reassuring words. Soon the tears stopped and her breathing evened out leaving Santana the only one awake in the room. She continued to stroke Ella's black hair; so much like her own, and so much longer than she remembered.

Across from her she saw Brittany laying with her face scrunched up in the way it was when she was having a food dream and she couldn't stop the smile that came over her face and she almost laughed out loud when she saw Violet with the same look. The mirth almost immediately turned to sorrow as she realized that whatever had happened could happen again, that it was possible for her to fall asleep and wake to find Violet was about to get married and Ella had moved to another state and their unborn child was starting college. The panic that the alcohol had kept at bay came back tenfold and she held her daughter a little closer. She wasn't ready for that, there was no way. Already they had wasted so much time due to her foolish decisions and all she could do was pray that whatever happened wouldn't drag her away from her family again. The very thought of missing them grow up made her heart speed up to a dangerous rate.

Santana had no idea how long she stayed awake lying in Ella's bed observing her family and drinking in every detail but eventually sleep did get hold of her while she thought about how, though terrifying and random, whatever had happened to her had rid her of the thing keeping her from having a real relationship with them and in that respect may have been the best thing to happen to her.

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><p>The next thing the Latina was aware of was a warm hand on her face and her name being spoken lightly, her eyes fluttered open to see Brittany sitting in front of her with a worried expression on her face.<p>

"Santana?" she questioned seeing the other woman's eyes open, "You don't have to get up I just want to be sure you're feeling alright, you don't usually sleep this late."

"What day is it?"

Brittany gave her a funny look but answered, "Sunday."

Relieved Santana sat up and realized she was in exactly the same place she had been in before she went to sleep and relief rushed through her. Looking around she saw the bedroom was empty and the clock on the wall told her it was past noon. "Wow, I really overslept."

"But you looked so cute doing it." She said with a soft smile and Santana was overwhelmed with a need to kiss her that she didn't fight.

She captured Brittany's lips with her own and the knowledge that this was still possible with her knowing everything that had happened, that her wife knew the truth and would still let her anywhere near her, made her pull the other woman onto her lap to kiss every part of her she could reach. Brittany giggled at the sudden mood change but returned the kisses nonetheless.

"Hello to you too." She laughed.

Still nipping and kissing Brittany's exposed neck she gave a mumbled reply, "Hey."

"And I told Puck you needed to sleep when he came by, I guess I'm a liar." She said breathily as Santana's lips began to travel below her collarbone.

"Had enough sleep." She grunted, her hands beginning to roam under Brittany's shirt.

"Oh gross!" came an exclamation from the door and both women turned to see Violet standing there with a phone in her hands, she lifted it to her face and said, "Sorry Santana's busy doing adult stuff with mom she'll call you back later."

Rolling her eyes Santana plucked the phone out of Violet's hands, "Behave." She said in mock irritation before bringing the phone to her ear.

"Just don't do that on my bed." The small girl mumbled before she retreated down the hall.

Santana sighed and rested her head on Brittany's chest feeling her still erratic heartbeat before turning her attention to the receiver, "Hello?"

"I was told you needed rest, if you wanted to spend the morning having a _banging_ good time all you had to do was say so, the Puck understands. Morning exercises take many forms."

"Ha ha, what do you want."

"Wanted to tell you your appointment was confirmed last night on my voicemail, I got you down for Tuesday at seven. Be there or I swear I will come to your house and drag you there."

"Got it. I'll go don't worry."

"Alright later then, I'll let you get back to your lady." Puck said jovially and hung up.

Santana was totally ready to get back to sweet lady kisses but she saw a concerned look on Brittany's face, "What do you have an appointment for?" Brittany asked clearly having heard the exchange.

"I.. I'm going to see a psychiatrist."

Brittany's brow creased up, "Why?"

"I think I'm suffering from a weird specific case of memory loss."

The confusion on the blonde's face would have been adorable if the situation hadn't been so serious, "I don't understand."

"Neither do I. Britt the last thing I remember before yesterday is climbing into bed with you on Christmas Eve of last year." Santana said letting out a humorless laugh.

Brittany fixed her with that steady blank gaze again, "So you don't remember anything about this whole year?"

"No." she said shyly hoping this wouldn't go as poorly as she thought it might.

For a long moment Brittany stared at her without saying anything, her expression was unreadable and that made Santana very afraid, then finally she said, "Is this your fucked up way of telling me you want to be back with Selena?"

Of all the things she had expected that was at the bottom of the list, as a matter of fact it wasn't even on the list or the backup list, that response had been completely out of nowhere and made her mouth fall open with shock. Sure she had been told Brittany knew about the affair but hearing the other woman's name come out of Brittany's mouth shocked her regardless.

"No! What? Of course not! I'm not trying to send any sort of cryptic message Brittany I seriously don't remember anything!"

With a nod Brittany pulled away and stormed back to their bedroom slamming the door, Santana sat bewildered for a moment before she jumped up and followed closing the door carefully behind her to find her wife standing at the far side of the room practically seething. She understood that it was worrying and frightening but she didn't understand why Brittany's default reaction here was anger.

"I need to be alone now Santana." She growled and for the first time in a long time Santana saw real anger in her blue eyes but she refused to move.

"No. I obviously said something wrong and I don't need you to storm out mad I need you to tell me what's wrong."

The blonde gave her a hard stare, "You are unbelievable! You don't know what you said wrong?" Santana reluctantly shook her head, "Well try this on for size I'm pregnant and my wife just told me she doesn't remember stopping her affair with her coworker!"

Realization washed over her and suddenly she understood her wife's anger, "Maybe I don't remember it but I certainly don't regret it stopping it never should have happened in the first place."

"It's not just that! You promised it would never happen again! You promised! And we talked and worked through it and now you are telling me you don't remember that?"

"Yes, but if that is what I said I meant every word."

Brittany rolled her eyes in exasperation and moved to leave the room angrily grabbing for the door knob but Santana threw her weight against the door not letting the blonde escape, "I get how this sounds but you have got to understand that I am so lost right now. I don't remember our conversations but I can tell you that me and my… I don't know other self? Subconscious maybe? Agree on the same things. It was a mistake from the start and will never ever happen again, you have to understand that nothing I am saying now is in any way negating that. I love you so much and I am so happy you ever loved me enough after what happened to want another baby, but something is wrong with my head. I think I may have blacked out or something and I need you to be with me through this or I won't make it." She pleaded because she needed Brittany to understand, she couldn't have the joy of finally having her family back to have it taken away. That was just one thing too many on top of everything else.

It was clear that Brittany hadn't been overly moved by the speech but she had at least stopped trying to make moves to get out of the door, or she had temporarily quit because Santana had a vice grip on the knob.

"I really thought all of this was already behind us, that's where I want it to go and stay because every time I think about it and look at you it makes me feel bad in every way there is to feel bad."

"I want it behind us too and it can be."

"It can't if you don't remember anything! What's changed Santana? If the whole year hasn't happened for you then what has changed? You never even really told me why you slept with Selena you just danced around the issue and I was so desperate to just let it go I didn't even question it but now whatever it was that happened can happen again and just like before I won't know until it's too late!" she shouted and Santana prayed the girls were either outside or watching television with the volume up. Something with lots of explosions.

Santana took a deep breath and steadied herself to do something she wanted to do about as much as she wanted to luge naked on a cheese grater, "Nothing has changed." She said and took a firm grip of Brittany's arms to keep her from escaping before she had a chance to explain herself, "I've wanted it to be over from the moment it started." Santana took another breath because now was the time to bare it all, "I don't know why I didn't tell you what actually happened before but I will now and I need you to listen no matter how hard it is to hear."

Fear whirled in her blue eyes but Brittany nodded all the same, "Okay." Her voice was low and hoarse.

Santana moved to the bed to sit down and her wife joined her shortly looking skittish and unwillingly curious. A long silence fell as she organized her words in her head and after a moment she turned and looked straight into Brittany's eyes and spoke even though that was the last place she wanted to rest her eyes when telling this story.

"When the affair happened I was feeling like I was in a place that I didn't want to be, but it wasn't how things were here. It was the squad and Nationals, it was Sue's fucked up mind games, and mostly it was my own insecurities about being able to do everything on my own. I was scared that I wouldn't keep winning and then how in the world would I be able to keep getting money, how would I keep my job and that led me to worry about how I would provide for the four of us. I know it seemed like I just resented having children but from the first moment I saw Violet there was nothing further from the truth, I was just afraid of failing. Failing you and them. I…" she faltered for a moment, no matter how she steeled herself saying this to Brittany made her feel like she was trying to gut herself with a butter knife, "I went to Selena for advice at first, just to try and get her input on what to do about the way I was feeling, but the more I talked to her the more she convinced me that I was truly unhappy with you and the kids. That what I was feeling wasn't stress but the telltale signs of a failing marriage. Somewhere in the middle of it all I started to believe that sex with her would somehow get rid of all my problems, that somehow it would fix something, anything. But when I did all I realized was how much of a mistake it was, because when it was over you weren't there to hold me and I didn't see that look in your eyes after we make love. That look that only someone who has known you for years can give, someone who has been there through the good and the bad and loved you every minute of it. I regretted even talking to her the moment I had done it and I just wanted to walk away then but she had no intention of letting me go that easily."

She paused to take a breath suddenly aware that she was crying and that Brittany was as well, but the other woman did not speak, she waited patiently for her to continue her eyes never moving from Santana's.

"She threatened to tell you about the two of us if I didn't continue to see her and honestly the smart thing to do would have been to come clean about the whole thing and end it there but… Brittany I am not making any excuses or trying to pass the blame, you just need to understand I was _so_ terrified of losing you. I mean it made me literally sick when I thought of you finding out and then I started thinking that you would not only leave me but take the kids as well and…" she needed to take another breath, even the memories of those thoughts gave her chills, "I was stuck with her because of a stupid, stupid mistake and the irony of it all was sleeping with her was the thing that made me realize how I couldn't live without you. I don't remember the past few months but I can tell you that if they have me getting rid of her and coming clean to you then clearly whatever happened with my head was a good thing. "

Brittany finally broke her gaze and wiped at her steadily streaming eyes, "Why didn't you tell me that when we talked about this before?"

"I don't know, I don't remember but it was the truth then and it's the truth now and no matter what I forget or when it will never happen again. Even if I forget this conversation." Her chest was so tight it was hard to get air in and despite all the insanity that was her life at the moment suddenly the only important thing that existed was to keep Brittany at her side.

"Santana you've been acting so strange lately, you keep saying it's not me it's you but then you do something that proves the opposite. You finally talked me into wanting to have another baby again and I thought this time you really wanted one but during the baby shower you seemed so sad and apparently yesterday you just forgot it all." she sobbed rubbing her eyes. "I used to know you so well, I used to know everything you were thinking and now I have no idea what to expect from one second to the next."

Santana took her tearful face in her hands and peppered kisses on her tear stained face, "I know and I'm sorry. I'll do whatever it takes to get us back on track, I'm going to see a doctor and I'll see a team of doctors if that doesn't work. I'll tell you what I'm feeling all the time until you can go back to knowing for yourself, anything Brittany."

The saddest blue eyes in the world stared back at her as her wife asked, "Tell me one thing, and please be honest with me." Santana nodded swiftly, "Do you want this child?"

She could see the worry on her wife's face and it reminded her all over again how badly she had fucked up her marriage that Brittany would ever have to question that. Smiling genuinely pressed a hand to the blonde's toned stomach and pushed gently guiding her down on the bed before leaning over and kissing her gently on the neck, "Of course I do, how could I not? The woman I love is having my baby and I couldn't be happier."

Brittany gently cupped her face and looked deep into her eyes ceasing her oral explorations of her neck and chest though clearly from the flushed look in her face and her heavy breathing the action was getting to her.

"Before you told me no almost constantly though, why?"

Santana sat back hating that they had to switch back to extremely serious talk, "Because… I was still dealing with not being intimate with you and trying to rid myself of Selena and I couldn't see fitting another child into the middle of that."

"You stopped sleeping with me because you had her?" the question was part confusion part hurt.

"No I stopped sleeping with you because I couldn't stand to see that look I love so much and know I was betraying you. I wanted you so badly but I couldn't bring myself to touch you anymore not after being with that woman."

Brittany closed her eyes for a moment and Santana wished desperately that she was a mind reader, "I'm still a bit confused about when this affair actually started and ended…" Santana opened her mouth to say something but she held up a hand, "And I really don't want to know. All I need to hear from you is that it won't happen again, not just with Selena but with anyone."

"It won't." she replied almost instantly, "Never again."

"You said that before."

"I meant it before."

Brittany looked at her for a moment and then surprisingly fresh tears fell down her face, "San I'm still scared."

In almost a panic Santana wiped them away searching blue eyes for some hint as to what to do, "Scared of what?"

"I'm scared I'll do something to make you leave me again, I'm scared you mean what you're saying now and won't later. I mean what if you just go back to her and forget and then you're leading a double life you don't even remember and…"

Santana silenced her with a brief kiss, "Trust is a big deal with us right now I understand and I know it won't be resolved overnight but I will do everything in my power to make sure you never have a reason to doubt me."

"You said that before too."

Santana smiled, "Looks like no matter what I remember how I feel is the same."

She nodded seeming slightly reassured, "Why did you tell Puck and not me?"

"I don't know, everything was weird but apparently you knew about… what happened and you were still there with me and I didn't want to rock the boat so to speak."

"Next time talk to me." She said seriously.

Santana nodded and nuzzled the crook of Brittany's neck almost crying in relief as her wife held her close.

There was a brief knock at the door and Violet's voice filtered through, "Sanny! I want to go to the park! Ella said she wants to go too!"

A muffled, "No I didn't!" followed.

"Ella did not say she wanted to go but has come with me to the door to ask to go the park so is a part of the Let's Go To the Park movement!" Violet amended.

Brittany chuckled and Santana couldn't help but smile into her wife's chest, "How do you feel about a trip to the park?"

"You must be forgetting more than the last few months if you have to ask." Brittany said lightly slapping Santana's arm playfully.

* * *

><p>AN: Over frigging whelming response on my tumblr not only demanding more but demanding it here so... here it is.


	2. Ohio Santana Part 2

**Lima, Ohio**

Santana brushed her hair back behind her ear and looked herself over in the mirror, she looked good, almost too good. Usually that wouldn't have been a concern but tonight was the school's student teacher social, which was a McKinley High exclusive event that was a cross between and open house and prom. It was over played, it was pointless and she would have skipped it every year, but thanks to Figgins it was also mandatory.

This particular event required students to bring their parents and teachers to bring their spouses or dates to socialize with one another. It never led to anything good for the students as either their teachers rat them out on their behavior or their parents totally embarrass them on the dance floor. It was semi formal and usually Santana would push that to the extreme but not tonight, this time she wore a presentable button up blouse and a nice pair of khakis and low heels.

Normally when she and Brittany would attend they made a game of it, trying to see which of them would get hit on the most in one night, despite the fact that neither woman made it a secret that they were married to each other. Santana wagered her students would be shocked to know how many of their own fathers made a pass. It was something she and Brittany would laugh about for hours, and ever since falling two short of breaking her wife's record of thirty one she had sworn this would be the year that she got the most passes.

However.

Excluding the Selena issue that still makes her wince every time she thinks about it, Brittany is six months pregnant and she knows better to even let the other woman know she is even thinking about that game. So she takes off all her makeup and reapplies it a bit lighter and doesn't spend as much time on her hair as she otherwise would before finally exiting the bathroom to find the blonde sitting on their bed glaring at the mirror across from it like it said something foul.

"You okay Britt-Britt?" she asked already sensing the trouble.

"I'm fat." She grumbled.

Brittany had indeed gained quite a lot of weight, more than she had from her other two pregnancies, she was big in the way pregnant women got and nothing about it was abnormal, but still in all honesty she was a bit wide. Nevertheless, Santana knew better than to even imply that, no matter how true, it was a hard lesson she had learned when Brittany carried Violet.

Santana smiled and walked over to her side, "No you aren't, you are perfect, you look amazing and everyone will think so."

"So you don't think I look fat?" she challenged her arms crossed over her extended belly.

"I think you look beautiful in that dress and even better out of it." She said smoothly leaning over to give her wife a kiss.

Brittany accepted it but still looked agitated, "I've gained almost eighty pounds!" she snapped.

"In all the right places." Was the quick reply.

A lesson learned with Ella was that outright lying and saying she hadn't gained weight pissed her off about as much as saying she had. These waters were tremulous, dangerous and unpredictable, however Santana had learned them by now and was navigating like an experienced sailor.

Brittany smiled slightly at that and Santana kissed her again, "Ready to go?" she asked lightly.

"I guess…" the blonde conceded looking hatefully at the mirror again.

Santana readjusted her gaze to meet her blue eyes, "You look wonderful."

"If you say so."

"I do."

"Give me a minute to put my shoes on." She sighed.

They were slip on shoes and slightly out of Brittany's reach but Santana knew better than to hand them to her, that was nothing but a well hidden 'So you DO think I'm too fat to function' fight waiting to happen and they were already in danger of running late.

Bypassing that landmine Santana went into the living room where Puck sat watching _Young Justice _with Violet, Abby, Caleb and Aaron. Ella and Joseph opting to play with a deck of cards in a game that seemed to have rules only they knew. Puck was supposed to take the girls to his house but knowing Brittany like he did, he was waiting to see if they would actually make it out the door, or if Santana would have to go alone because Brittany had barred herself in their room unwilling to let anyone see how large she was. He knew the baby hormone drill like Santana did and she was always grateful she didn't have to say anything.

"You guys heading out?" he asked over his shoulder, too engrossed in the cartoon to give his full attention.

"Yeah Britt's coming."

"Without you?" was his instant response, as Quinn wasn't around to do it, a discrete slap to the back of the head was his reward disguised by Santana leaning over the couch to give Violet a one armed hug.

"Be good and don't do anything I wouldn't." she says lightly as Puck rubs his stinging head.

"Kay." Violet said returning the hug quickly so she could return her attention to the television.

She gave Ella a small hug before turning to dig through her purse for her keys leaving the children to their game, as she searched she heard Joseph say, "You can't put a Queen on my Queen!"

"Yes I can, we order them in pairs." Ella replied.

"No, Kings only go with Queens it's easier that way cause it's like real life."

There was a pause as Ella seemed to ponder this, "That's stupid, my moms go together."

Santana smiled at that, _You tell him._

Joseph scoffed at that, "Okay, maybe so but _you_ don't have two moms. You have a mom and a Santana." He said like it was just plain silly to imply otherwise.

The dark haired woman frowned at that but didn't say anything, keeping her back turned to the playing children. She waited silently for Ella's reply, which came after a long ponderous silence.

"I guess that's true." She said quietly.

Santana felt a little ill at that, she turned to look at the two but they had returned to the game and moved on to the topic of what they wanted to do over the weekend. Her mouth fell open a little with the need to protest, but what could she say? It had been her that insisted that her children call her by her name because the thought of being called anything else made her feel old; it never occurred to her what it would translate to for them or Puck's kids for that matter. Suddenly she was aware of how stupid she had been about that, she remembered how when she was younger she always found that to be a sign of desperation on the parent's part. Apparently she had been so desperate she had forgotten.

"I'm ready." Brittany announced as she finally came out of the bedroom.

She wore a knee length cream colored maternity dress that made her look radiant, despite the slight scowl she was sporting. She had a shawl over the top and her long hair was in a braid that hung over her shoulder and down her stomach, it seemed both were an attempt to hide the obvious baby bump. They probably were, and Santana wasn't going to say one word about it.

"Wow you look pretty mom." Ella said as soon as she saw her.

Brittany looked down at her daughter and a real smile bloomed over her face, "Thank you sweetie."

"Yeah you do Mrs. Lopez." Joseph added, a sentiment echoed by his brothers.

Puck nodded approvingly at his sons and Santana began to suspect this had been orchestrated, but it certainly didn't matter because they were all sincere enough and more importantly, Brittany was taking it at face value.

Brittany thanked them all again and kissed Ella and Violet on the head before she moved to Santana's side, "We better get going!" she said excitedly, her mood obviously heightened by the compliments.

As they moved to the door Puck rounded the kids up and piled them into the minivan, "Alright, see you ladies tomorrow." He said after he secured Abby in her car seat and climbed in the driver's seat.

"Bye mom! Bye Santana!" Violet called from the window as they backed out of the driveway.

The Latina felt her chest twist again but managed a small smile at the van as it pulled away.

Brittany waved to them as they drove off and continued to long after the car had disappeared around the corner. Sensing an oncoming hormone shift to 'My children left me' depressed, Santana gave her wife a light slap on the butt and opened the car door for her.

"Get in gorgeous, we don't want to be late."

* * *

><p>They arrived at the school right on time and Santana was almost instantly greeted by some of her more favorable students. Many of them quickly left in favor of talking to Brittany about the baby, something that she was very glad for as it seemed to make the blonde exceedingly happy to talk about their upcoming addition.<p>

While they all spoke, Santana found herself being pulled away unnoticed by a strong hand. She didn't even have to turn around to know who it was, she had been smelling that aftershave since she was fourteen.

"What?" she growled as she rounded on Principal Figgins.

"Coach Lopez I am so very glad to see you here tonight." He said still holding her firmly, maybe because he knew she would dash away if he let go.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips, "It's mandatory, how could I not come?"

He either didn't hear her or pretended not to, "So I have been meaning to talk to you about your behavior at these events. It seems a few of the parents think you are a little too harsh in your critiques of their children. The whole point of this event is to promote a kind nurturing environment for parents to have a calm relaxed conversation with teachers about the welfare of the students. If the parents like the teachers and have met their family they are less likely to sue, therefore I am going to need you to put forth an extra special effort to not upset anyone. Can you do that?" he asked even though it obviously wasn't a question.

"I can try." Santana replied glibly before detaching herself from his grasp and returning to Brittany's side.

Figgins allowed her to go, but it was clear he was going to eyeball her all night, and just like that things got that much more difficult.

The whole school gym had been transformed into a ballroom that looked like Disney threw up all over it. The colors were bright and oversaturated, almost everything was trimmed in lights. There were cardboard cutouts all over the place of McKinley's mascot with stupid phrases coming out of his mouth about throwing away trash and having a good time. It was all so very hokey.

As instructed, Santana greeted every parent and student with as much civility as possible. Which was easier to do with the parents she already knew, but with the new arrivals she turned down overt passes with polite and aloof laughter, as if she were some idiot who just couldn't pick up the hint. Some guys needed more than one brush off and some students had older brothers or cousins in attendance who thought 'No' was code for 'Try harder' and they all seemed to either be ignoring or uncaring that her wife was standing right next to her. Not that Brittany took any notice of them she was more interested in the cake Santana had procured for her and couldn't seem to tear her eyes off the many overly colorful decorations. Brittany did seem aware of the lingering looks the males in attendance were giving her but was thoroughly unconcerned, Santana assumed it had to do with the fact that even if she didn't quite trust her completely, men were just not competition.

About an hour in Santana found herself stifling a yawn as some short stubby woman in her mid thirties rattled on about how angelic her daughter was and how she was destined for big things. The girl, Rebecca, smoked weed habitually behind the bleachers after practice, sold liquor to underclassmen and was generally a pain in the ass, but she could do a midair split that seemed unnatural and it had won them Nationals the previous year, so she kept her mouth shut. Drifting from the conversation let her eyes rest on Brittany who was sitting alone at a table a good ways away. She had only left Santana's side to rest her aching feet and was currently shifting untouched food around on her plate.

If the Latina knew one thing, it was that a pregnant Brittany with untouched food meant something was wrong. Luckily Rebecca's mother finally spotted someone she would rather sing her daughter's ridiculous praises to and dashed off to meet them. Santana took the opportunity to walk towards her wife but was cut off by Eric who had an enormous grin on his face as he escorted a young man and woman over to her.

"And this is our award winning coach!" he announced to the two loudly, "I'll leave you to get acquainted." Before he could just walk off Santana caught his arm and gave him a questioning glower, he leaned over and shifted his eyes obviously to the far corner, "They were talking about donating money to the Cheerios and Figgins told me to bring 'em over here." He whispered apologetically and left again to return to his own group of waiting parents.

She cast a glance over at Figgins who was shooting warning glares with his eyes, and then back to Brittany who had her hand on her chin watching Santana casually.

With a sigh she turned to the two with a bright smile determined to make this quick, "Hello, I'm Coach Lopez." She chirped at them.

"Kenneth Stiles." The main said simply, "Listen, my daughter is on your squad but she says you are the meanest person she has ever met in her life."

Santana nodded thoughtfully, "That may well be true but she's quite young and there are so many mean people left to meet."

Surprisingly both Kenneth and the woman next to him laughed at that, however when the woman laughed she did so rather exaggeratedly and placed a hand on Santana's arm in a gesture that could only really be taken as flirting. She knew that and apparently so did Brittany because the intensity of her wife's stare was causing the right side of her face to feel like it might spontaneously combust.

Taking a step back out of reach Santana regarded the woman; she was tall, fair skinned with dirty blonde hair and predatory brown eyes.

_Wonderful_. Santana thought acidly.

Her eyes went back to Figgins, who seemed to have become even more interested in the exchange upon seeing Santana attempt to retreat. When she turned back she saw the woman had closed the small distance between them.

"Remy Kane." She said and Santana tried not to glare too obviously but she was afraid her half assed result made her look inviting or something, because a pleased smile came over the woman's face, "My niece is also a student of yours however, she thinks you are the best of the best."

"Well I am." She said naturally, "I'm assuming from the names, Drew is your daughter," she said pointing to Kenneth, "And Pamela is your niece?" They both nodded and immediately Santana had an idea of what she was dealing with, Pamela was a cutthroat bitch and if she learned it from anywhere she had to suppose it was from the woman that was eyeing her up lustily.

Making a show out of crossing her arms and putting her ring finger on display she kept up a pleasant conversation with them, as she was practically backed into a corner by Remy taking a step closer to her every sentence or so and Kenneth just following along as if nothing was amiss. The really troubling part was that the eyes of her wife and boss were following her too, but Brittany was making her feel like half of her body was too close to an open fire.

Every subtle hint and obvious reference to her marriage seemed unnoticed by the advancing woman, and Santana considered just snapping but she couldn't really throw her job down the toilet with a baby on the way. So she held her temper. She even took out her phone and showed pictures of her family, pictures Remy just had to scrunch in on Santana's side to see. When she felt breasts press against her arm the only thing that burned hotter than her anger was the side of her face Brittany was staring at.

After a moment Kenneth excused himself and Remy began to speak on all the trials of having to act as temporary mother to her niece, something that Santana was having a hard time pretending to care about. She was going to excuse herself and begin what she was sure would be the start of a weeklong plea for forgiveness from Brittany, when Remy mentioned that she had a favorite type of animal. Not that Santana had ever or would ever care, then, for absolutely no real reason, she leaned forward and whispered 'I just love pussy cats' seductively into Santana's ear.

Santana was sure her skin had to be peeling from the heat being sent her way from the blonde across the room.

It was then that her carefully constrained temper snapped, but it snapped quietly and behind stormy brown eyes as she turned back to the woman with a calm and demure smile.

"It's been very nice talking to you Remy." She said, extending her hand.

The woman seemed a little surprised that Santana was suddenly addressing her so directly, seeing as the entire time they had been talking she had been trying to inch away. She smiled back, took the offered hand and they shook, Santana keeping a firm grip long after a normal handshake would have ended, but Remy wasn't complaining.

"It's been nice talking to you too." She purred back.

Still shaking her hand, Santana leaned forward like she was telling a secret naturally prompting Remy to do the same, "You've put me in a awkward spot here, you see you've been flirting with me the entire time we've been talking."

At this a dazzling smile spread over the other woman's face, "I thought you didn't notice, had to get a bit obvious towards the end."

A light humorless laugh left Santana, "Yes I noticed. Now here's the thing, you must have noticed I'm wearing a wedding ring."

"You must have noticed I am too." She replied simply.

Santana glanced down at the woman's hand resting firmly on her hip, sure enough there was a gold band shining from the pale hand.

_I'll be damned she is,_ she thought, not that it mattered, she hadn't noticed because she hadn't cared.

"Ah. Well you see our illustrious principal over there?" she said and gestured to Figgins with a tilt of her head.

Remy looked questioningly at him, "Yes."

"He wants me to be nice so do me a favor, smile at him and wave."

"Give me your number and we can talk favors."

Without a change in expression, Santana's grip tightened and the other woman yelped in surprise as the Latina's brown eyes became hard, "Smile and wave."

Remy turned and gave a brief wave to Figgins with a pained smile on her face, the small man grinned back and gave Santana a subtle thumbs up. She nodded back at him and turned back to Remy, her calm face still on but rage boiling in her gut.

"Now over there." She said pointing to Brittany whose intense flame gaze was broken by the surprise of being obviously talked about, "Is my very beautiful, very pregnant, very hormonal wife Brittany who I love more than anything. And now she's incredibly pissed at me because of you. Wave and smile."

Remy was trying to twist her hand out of the vice grip, but Santana only held it tighter and squeezed until she gave up and waved frantically at Brittany who waved back a little bewildered. Santana shot her a loving smile before she turned back to Remy again.

"When I let you go, you will walk over to that wonderful woman and tell her how beautiful and thin you think she is, and you really need to sell the thin part. You make her smile or so help me God, you will not make it to your house safely tonight." She said still smiling widely to appease all who were watching the exchange.

Remy gulped audibly and nodded. Santana released her hand and turned to greet a couple that she saw approaching. As she spoke with them, satisfaction washed over her as Remy dashed to Brittany's side and showered her with praise until the tall blonde was blushing. A few brief shared niceties and Santana was finally able to go sit with Brittany, who still looked a bit flustered from Remy's visit.

She kissed her wife on the temple before leaning back in her chair and surveying her face to check for warning signs of irrational anger, but she seemed completely happy, "Enjoying the food?" she asked noting that somehow in the short span of time between Remy's exit and her arrival Brittany had cleaned her plate.

"Yes! Everything is delicious!" she said happily.

"You about ready to go? I'm a little over this already."

Brittany giggled at that, "You never wanted to come in the first place."

"That is true, but Puck has the kids for tonight and I kind of want to go home and get my cuddle on." Santana said leaning close and nuzzling Brittany's neck.

The blonde giggled again, "We have been here a while."

That was all Santana needed to hear to urge Brittany to her feet and pull her out the door. Managing to evade Figgins, as she still technically had another mandatory fifteen minutes to be there. She drove them home feeling rather proud of herself for averting disaster and getting to bring home a happy Brittany. When they got home Santana made them a few sandwiches, despite the fact that she wasn't hungry, she knew her wife still was. If Brittany saw Santana wasn't eating, she wouldn't eat, then she'd get cranky and all hell would break loose.

They snuggled up on the couch as they flipped through Netflix until, to Santana's surprise, they located a season of _Sweet Valley High_ and neither of them could resist. They watched in silence, Brittany lying happily in Santana's lap after having almost inhaled her food, and Santana brushing her fingers through long blonde hair when Brittany turned and looked up at her pensively.

"You have a lot of vacation time right?" she asked simply.

Santana frowned a little in thought, "Not as much as I did before I hurt my leg but yes. Did you want to go somewhere?"

She shook her head, "I was wondering if you had enough to just take a few months off."

"To stay home with you and the baby? Sure I could do that."

"No." she paused clearly thinking, "I want you to carry our next child."

Santana froze, her mind went fuzzy and she closed her eyes trying to calm herself as she felt the beginnings of a panic attack. It had happened again. It must have, she must have skipped days of her life because she does not remember this conversation. Her therapist said there was nothing that suggested that had any sort of disorder to cause the missing time, but they still met every few weeks to talk over the usual issues. The sessions had been simple and the more they talked the more normal she had felt. Time passed normally and everything was fine, and now apparently she had agreed to this insanity.

Deciding to clarify before calling her therapist for an emergency appointment she asked, "Where is this coming from?"

Brittany shrugged, "It's just something I always wanted, for both of us to do this."

"But…" she squeezed her eyes shut, "Britt we are still expecting one baby and you want to start planning having another? Correction, for _me_ to have another?"

She nodded as if that were obvious, "Yes."

"Why?" she asked trying to keep her tone neutral.

"You know I always wanted a big family."

That was true but to her, an only child, three children _was_ a big family, "Okay but why now? Before today we have never talked about me having any of our kids. This is a major thing to request on a whim."

One of Brittany's hands lifted and played with the ends of her hair, "It not a whim I always wanted both of us to do it, but after Violet there was no way for you to take off work so soon. I thought carrying Ella myself would be the same but after that it was still something I wanted."

Santana tried not to squirm under the sad puppy eyes she was getting, "You wanted to carry this baby right?"

She looked away sighing slightly, "Yes I did."

"So why not bring it up then?"

Brittany was silent before she answered, "Everything was still weird between us and I felt lucky to get you to agree to wanting another baby at all."

A twisting feeling of guilt ripped through her and battled with her overwhelming reluctance, "Britt…" she sighed, the word coming out as a plea for her not to be serious about this.

"You don't want to have our next child, do you?" she asked, the question was meant to be soft but her ever changing moods put an edge on it that made Santana realize that she had stumbled into dangerous waters. Cautious was a horrible understatement of what she was going to have to be to get through this conversation.

She contemplated mentioning that they had never even agreed on another in the first place, but that seemed unwise, "I would have to think about it." She offered.

"Why wouldn't you want to?" was Brittany's teary eyed question.

_Because I like my body the way it is, and unlike you I don't lose weight from light exercise, and the idea of carrying a living human inside me freaks me the hell out_. However only the desire to sleep on the street atop a pile of divorce papers could get her to say that to the stormy blue eyes.

"I've never considered it, so I would just want to think it over before I agreed is all."

She nodded accepting that it was fair for her to request some thinking time, "Alright." She said and turned back to the television.

Santana looked back at the screen as well but her mind couldn't have been farther from their living room.

* * *

><p>AN: Shout out to my shiny new Beta **Jellysnack**! Thanks for the hard work and advice.

Next part is Florida Santana so no need to fret, and we will come back to Ohio later to deal with these dilemmas. Remember to review!


	3. Florida Santana Part 1

**Miami, Florida**

If she were honest with herself, really and truly honest, Santana could list all the different ways she had planned to propose since she was a little girl. Well, how she had planned to be proposed _to_. She was always the receiver of the ring and the giver had always been a man, but never had the possible settings for the event ever changed. She had dreamt about France and London, about being asked at an expensive restaurant after a decadent meal while wearing the latest designer dress and making everyone around her jealous.

This was so far from that, the memory of it seemed to be more a recollection of someone else's retelling than anything she had come up with on her own. Mainly because she didn't care about any of that anymore. Her dreams were all assuming that everything revolved around her, but now the only thing that made her happy was what made Brittany happy, and what made the bubbly woman happy was boardwalk carnivals and, even more so, Ferris Wheels. So as requested she sat in a small metal box being hoisted inadvisably high in the air to look down at the sparkling lights of the city and their reflections in the ocean beyond. Since this spot was as romantic as a carnival got she knew that this was the place to propose. She had known it while they stood in line and she knew it now… only now her heart was trying to slam its way out of her chest, and she felt like her lungs were only taking in just enough air to keep her from passing out. Barely. And it was all due to the fact that only now did she realize what a big step she was about to take, and of course her brain waits until the last minute to provide her with an extensive list of all the ways this was a bad idea. High on said list was how unromantic it was to ask the woman of her dreams to marry her dangling over the ocean in a cramped cage wearing casual clothes after a light snack of onion rings.

The whole way up she waged a silent battle as she looked longingly at Brittany who was preoccupied being enamored with the view provided. She wanted to ask her so badly, but she wanted everything to be perfect. It had to be because if it wasn't, she might say _'No'_ and then what?

The mere thought of that made Santana's heart drop.

Sure everything had been going well, and they managed to get back to their old level of comfort in being together. And yes, she had lived for a short time with Brittany as her wife but that was in different time, a different woman with a different history. A history she wanted as her future _so_ bad.

A slight tug on her wrist pulled her attention to her bracelet, the sight of the white letters that spelled her name gave her a surge of determination. Unfortunately it didn't come with the usual side order of courage, because the second she opened her mouth it went sandpaper dry and only a light squeak came out. Her heart was so loud she could hear it in her ears and her brain was having a meltdown at her sudden attempt at bravery. All the 'what if's' in the world came crashing in, what if this was too soon? What if asking now makes her run off for good? What if this somehow leads to them never having children?

_Children. Shit! What if this Brittany doesn't want children?_ She thought in a wild panic, wishing she had dared to bring the topic up before now. She had always just assumed. _No. One thing at a time, just ask the question._

Focusing everything she had on calming her nerves, she managed to get the sound in her ears down to a dull roar and thankfully the cramped, shriveled optimistic portion of her brain offered a helpful memory of earlier that day.

_"What are you thinking about?" _

_"About us… having a long future together. If, you know… that's something you would want."_

_"Of course. All you have to do is ask."_

A slightly shaking hand dipped into her pocket and came out with a diamond ring on a gold band clenched in her fist. It wasn't the biggest and best she could afford but it was the one Brittany had once told her was her dream ring, even though that had been ages ago. Shoving her fist in her lap she tried to use her voice once more, only to notice that Brittany was already speaking excitedly to her, and given how she couldn't place the topic probably had been for some time.

_Crap._

"… two whole bowls of it but it was nothing like this. Oh! I think I can see Puck and Quinn!" she finished waving down at the broad crowd, seemingly unconcerned with the fact that even if the people she saw were Puck and Quinn there was no way they could see her waving.

Brittany turned to her, those bright eyes taking her breath away now as much as they had when they first met, and suddenly she felt like she would be able to speak again.

"Britt." Santana choked out, stopping immediately realizing her throat was still lacking any sort of moisture.

The exuberant smile on Brittany's face melted off and was replaced by an almost fearful worry, "What's wrong?"

_You are screwing this up!_ She chided herself as she desperately tried to get her voice back.

Forgoing the fancy food, clothing, and setting Santana had wanted to at least give Brittany a long speech about how much she meant to her. To tell her in no uncertain terms all the ways the blonde made her a better person, how love wasn't even a strong enough word for what she felt, but she realized all that would have to be saved for wedding vows or something because there was no way she would make it through all she wanted to say without botching it up.

Their car began to rotate to the highest position and Santana knew the moment didn't get better than this on a Ferris Wheel but she was beginning to seriously freak out. The future she wanted was right there and she just needed to reach for it, but the niggling possibility that she was rushing things made her muscles lock.

And just when she had decided to give up and try again another day, Brittany pulled Santana into her lap holding her close and making the smaller woman feel almost like a child in her strong embrace.

A light kiss to the back of Santana's neck made a blanket of calm fall over her as a soft voice sounded in her ear, "You're so tense. Relax, it's so beautiful up here and it's just us."

Santana couldn't suppress the smile that bloomed over her face, "I love you so much." She said, because at that moment the emotion swelled so strongly in her.

There was a light airy laugh that sounded behind her before she was hugged tightly and kissed in that same spot, "I love you too."

"I always want it to be just us." She said unable to stop herself from testing the waters before jumping straight in.

There was a pause as Brittany seemed to ponder that and Santana could feel her heart speed up again, "But what about Puck and Quinn? Oh and my parents… and Hailey… and your mom… well I guess they all couldn't fit in here… and what would we eat?"

Santana turned, slightly grinning as she watched Brittany try and work out how they could survive with only each other forever on a Ferris Wheel, "No Britt, not like that I mean…" she gulped only making her dry throat writhe.

_Ask her you enormous chicken!_

"BrittanyPiercewillyoumarryme?" she blurted holding the ring up almost like a shield from the answer.

Blue eyes darted to the ring then to Santana's face screwed up in a comical mixture of hopeful and terrified and it was clear that her brain was playing 'Where to Put The Spaces' with the sentence that had just been thrown at her. However, the moment she realized that _'Britt, any pierce will owe marumi?'_ was wrong and she managed to put it together the right way her confused expression slipped into one of joy.

Santana felt the weight being lifted off her shoulders at the sight of a bright smile on her lover's face, one she mirrored up until it was replaced by a grimace of pain as Brittany squeezed her tightly.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" she squealed while Santana struggled for breath, "I seriously thought you would never ask me!"

In an attempt to get free Santana offered the ring for her to take in the hopes that she would loosen her grip slightly, it worked a little too well as Brittany released her entirely and grasped it, leaving Santana fall into the space next to her.

**"**So you got what you wanted and then just throw me away huh?" she joked, laughing all while gulping down as much air as she could get.

"Sorry!" Brittany gasped pulling her now-fiancée back into her lap as she held her again in a much gentler embrace.

Santana watched her slip the ring on her finger and turn it on her hand to catch the fading sunlight. It was plain as day she recalled that this had been the same ring she had picked out of a magazine they had been browsing through one afternoon after Cheerios practice.

"I can't believe you remembered." She said quietly.

"You had it taped to the inside of your Spanish binder for pretty much all of high school."

"It's gorgeous Santana."

The brunette smiled and leaned further into her future wife feeling relief wash over her, "And here I was worried that you'd say no."

"Really?" was Brittany's amused reply.

"Yeah I thought it might be too soon."

At that the other woman laughed heartily, "Wow, because I've only wanted you to ask me since freshman year." When Santana gave her a look she laughed, "Why do you think I had a picture of an engagement ring taped to my binder?"

And suddenly she felt silly for ever having worried about it.

Brittany was almost explosively happy after that moment and she held Santana close like an overlarge carnival toy and kissing her soundly the whole way down. By the time they got off the ride the brunette looked extremely ruffled and didn't care one bit. For a while they just wandered as Santana listened to Brittany rattle off wedding plans. When they met up with Quinn and Puck again, Brittany rushed up to Quinn and showed off her engagement ring.

While Quinn congratulated her, Puck threw Santana a raised eyebrow, "Married? Really?" he said in a low tone.

She frowned at him, "Why not?"

"I mean… so soon."

"It's been a year and we were together way before that and you know this, why all the flack?" she bristled quietly so as not to disrupt the happy conversation happening nearby.

"Just making sure you're sure." He said giving her a playful punch on the arm, "Should have happened forever ago really."

She nodded in agreement, she could tell he wasn't as convinced as he sounded, but she didn't care. Brittany had agreed to marry her and nothing else mattered.

They stopped at the food court to indulge in all the junk food that the colorful stalls had to offer. Having finally gotten over his nervousness over their date, Puck spoke proudly of a new movie roll he had been offered and Quinn listened intently. It was just Quinn because Brittany was staring at her ring smiling softly and Santana was watching her the same way. When their two person conversation had run its course the smaller blonde interrupted their respective trances by clearing her throat.

"So any idea when you're going to have the wedding?" Quinn asked, a little louder than necessary because the other two women had tuned out the world completely.

"Huh?" Brittany said.

"I asked if you had a date in mind for the wedding yet."

She smiled broadly, "Not yet but I'd do it today if it was possible. Right San?"

Santana was still staring dreamily at Brittany and was caught off guard by the question, "Yes?" she said still unsure of what she had been asked.

"You are so cute." Brittany gushed pulling her close and kissing her gently.

Blushing Santana laughed, "I don't know about cute…"

"You guys are pretty cute." Quinn agreed chuckling.

Santana glanced at Puck to see where he stood on all this, since usually he would have offered a smartass comment by now. But he was just staring at the three of them with a look it took Santana a second to recognize. A look she hadn't seen on him in a very long time. It was his smug, 'I've slept with all the girls at this table' look.

"Wipe that stupid grin off your face Puckerman!" She growled at him and threw her empty fry container at his face.

He looked at her confused but when he saw her returning a knowing glare he smiled and shrugged, "What can I say? I've lived a good life."

Quinn frowned in confusion as she listened to the exchange, and Santana just shook her head before she gave Brittany a quick peck, "I'm getting a snow cone. Want one?" Brittany nodded excitedly and she turned to Quinn, "What about you?"

"No thanks."

Santana nodded and stood but stopped when Puck whined, "What about me?"

"You're a pig, get your own." She shot over her shoulder but when she heard his infectious laughter she couldn't help but smile as she walked away.

Her search for a snow cone took her to the far part of the boardwalk and the line was rather insane for a stall that sold only flavored ice, but she got cherry for herself and a rainbow mix for Brittany. As she approached the table and spotted the tall blonde, her face broke into a wide grin but it almost immediately melted away because she could instantly see something was wrong.

Puck was fiddling nervously with the empty tray she had thrown at him, Brittany was chewing her lip with a worried, sad expression on her face and Quinn was gaping at Puck like he had just told a Holocaust joke at Chanukah.

Slowly she approached and sat down glancing from person to person hoping she could get a hint of what had happened, but no one would meet her eye. Finally she handed Brittany her snow cone and was shocked to see all the happiness had gone out of her eyes, yet a weak smile stayed on her face.

"Thanks." She said softly.

"What's wrong?" Santana asked still looking from the corner of her eye to Quinn and Puck.

"Nothing." Brittany leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek before attempting a more reassuring and realistic looking smile, even though it didn't reach her eyes.

Her eyes flickered to Puck and the guilt written all over his face told her that whatever had happened was his fault. She wanted to leap across the table and beat the truth out of him, but it was clear that Brittany was trying to press on and she decided to keep the peace. Only after internally resolving to get it out of him later.

After they left the carnival no one was ready to call it a night just then so they walked to the pier that petered off to the beach to walk off all the junk food they had eaten. The ocean had turned dark in the late hours and the salty cool air blowing was making everything perfect, everything but Santana's mood. Brittany had perked up to her previously happy state but the brunette was still suspicious of what had happened in her absence. She and Brittany walked down the pier separately from Puck and Quinn, both couples sharing private romantic moments. They walked for a while, talked longer, and kissed even longer than that. It went so well for a moment Santana felt like she could just let the incident from before pass… until she saw Puck walking towards the bathrooms alone at the far side of the pier. Seeing her chance she excused herself and dashed off after him. She covered the distance in impressive time,and in any other situation she might have laughed a little at the fact that her newfound speed and stamina was a result of his Ohio counterpart's teachings.

When she finally reached the men's room she gave a thought to just busting in, instead she decided to let him finish using the restroom before assaulting him, though it took all of her willpower to do so. It seemed to take forever, and she almost jumped the wrong person twice, but eventually Puck came out with a pleased look on his face.

It evaporated as Santana dug her nails into his ear and twisted, "What happened?"

"OW! Shit! Lopez!" he yelped.

"Answer the question!"

"Leggo of my ear first!"

She considered that for a moment and did as he asked, "Talk. Now."

He rubbed at his hurting ear, "I think you broke the skin." He mumbled checking for blood.

"Noah." Her voice was dangerous and he knew he couldn't avoid it any longer.

He gave her a pleading look, "It was supposed to be a joke, but it wasn't funny and I knew how bad it sounded right after I said it. I feel really bad and am incredibly sorry."

"What did you say?" her voice was hard and unforgiving.

"First you have to promise not to get mad…er."

A level unyielding gaze told him that he better start talking or running, so he took a deep breath reluctantly told the truth.

* * *

><p><em>Brittany watched Santana go, still smiling like a person possessed. The other couple decided to give the blonde a moment with her thoughts as they finished the meager remains of their meal. When there was nothing left on her plate to distract her, Quinn decided to try getting the other woman's attention again.<em>

_"You know I never really thought she would ever be able to find her way back to you after prom, but she's a smarter person than I gave her credit for." She said thoughtfully._

_"I didn't either." Brittany said, still looking off in the direction Santana had gone._

_"I didn't think I'd ever see you again either." Quinn said seriously to Puck who only shrugged mysteriously._

_"Stranger things have happened." He said._

_"Like what?" Quinn laughed._

_"Once, my cat smoked a whole bag of cat nip and started fighting with the shoe gnomes under my bed. It wasn't even that bad until the fairies in the attic got involved, then it got weird." Brittany said turning her attention back to their conversation._

_The other two stared at her blankly for a moment before Puck said, "Are you sure you weren't the one smoking the catnip?"_

_Quinn elbowed him in the ribs, "That_ is_ weird. So you never really said when were you thinking about having the wedding?"_

_"Well she wants to have a big one, so we'll have to invite people and stuff and then we have to get someone to make all the food so it might be a long time. Like a month or so."_

_Quinn's eyes widened, "A month? Britt that's not a long time at all, most people stay engaged for at least a year."_

_She wrinkled her nose at that suggestion, "I don't want to wait a year to marry her."_

_"Okay but I think you should wait longer so you can plan it out at a slower, more manageable pace."_

_"No. I already don't want to wait a month." Brittany repeated sounding childish._

_Puck laughed, "You heard her, she wants her woman and she wants her now."_

_Quinn shrugged, "I don't think I could do it, when my sister got married I thought she was going to lose her mind with the stress of it. I just don't want you to burn yourself out trying to take on too much."_

_"I've always known what I want my wedding to look like, so it won't be hard."_

_"Let's just hope she doesn't pull a prom and leave you at the altar." Puck chimed in laughing, he stopped almost immediately as he realized he was the only person who had found humor in that._

_Quinn was looking horrified and Brittany's bright eyes dulled a bit as she began to worriedly chew on her lip. His date turned to him but he couldn't bear to see the look that would be on her face, so he looked down at the table for something to occupy his attention. He fiddled with an empty container until the sound of Santana's approach interrupted their silence._

* * *

><p>Puck finished retelling the earlier events only to be rewarded by a sharp slap to the back of the head, "OUCH! Dammit woman!"<p>

"What made you think that was a smart thing to say?" Santana snapped furiously.

"I didn't mean anything by it and before I could apologize you came back! Not like it matters cause she seems okay now."

"You…" she started but just let out a hiss of frustration and tore off back across the sand to the pier to hopefully correct any damage that had been done.

Brittany was waiting for her at the end of the dock with her feet dangling off the edge as she watched the water shimmer in the moonlight. Santana approached so fast she almost overshot her goal, which would have sent her headlong into the ocean. Instead she came to a startling stop and dropped to her knees next to the other woman.

"Hey about earlier, what Puck said, I want you to know that I would never ever leave you again. _Especially_ not on our wedding day." She spilled out.

Brittany was still reeling from the shock of her sudden appearance, but upon understanding what she was being told she smiled a genuine warm smile, "I know that."

Santana was a little surprised, "Um… you do?"

"Of course I do."

"But… I did walk out on you before and I understand if you're still worried that-"

Brittany silenced her with a soft kiss on the lips, "I know you're serious about wanting to marry me. I know that what happened in the past happened when we were both teenagers and everything was totally different. You don't have to defend yourself because of what he said."

Santana smiled back and took a seat next to her on the dock deciding she would drop it, but the look that had been on Brittany's face when she had come back to them kept bugging her, "I get what you're saying." She said suddenly, "But you looked so sad before."

Brittany kept staring out over the sea when she said, "I was…" she paused apparently thinking about whatever it is she was before turning to Santana, "I was a little upset because I thought I might be like Keanu Reeves."

Santana nodded and mulled that over in her head, her brow furrowing more and more as she came up with absolutely no connection between their situation and the actor, "You're going to have to explain that one to me."

The blonde shrugged, turning back to the ocean and kicking her feet slightly, "When you left I was pretty sure I would never see you again, but I always hoped I would, and even then I knew it would probably only be for a little while. Like maybe we might pass each other on the streets or something. I understood that, but I always fantasized about you coming back to me, even when I dated other people. Then you showed up and we started dating and moved in together and now we're engaged…"

Santana groaned loudly slapped her hand over her face, "I rushed it, I know, I'm sorry. I knew I should have waited!" she was beyond furious with herself.

"No. Santana." Brittany said pointedly before pulling her hands away and looking into her worried brown eyes. "I don't feel rushed. Everything is perfect it's everything I have ever wanted from you and more." Her voice was gentle and calming.

"Then what…"

The worried look from before covered her face, "I just feel like I'm stuck in the Matrix or something. Like I'll wake up from this and everything will be horrible."

Santana was going to open her mouth to say that was ridiculous but she was engaged to her high school sweetheart based on her experiences in what she could only assume was an alternate dimension, so she decided to take a different approach.

"What can I do to make this feel more real for you?" she asked honestly wanting to know.

Brittany shook her head, "Nothing. It's real to me. I _know_ you're here and I _know_ you aren't leaving, I know it in my heart but my head keeps telling me it's not real."

Not really knowing how to respond she looked out over the ocean as well. She supposed she understood Brittany's roundabout logic, her heart wanted to believe in their love but her head was throwing cold hard facts and Santana had a shitty stats sheet. The only meaningful positives were over the span of the last year, the rest was the ten year gap and the punctuating heartache that started it all off.

Their private introspective moment was interrupted by Puck and Quinn who were finally ready to turn in, and when Santana thought about it she was ready to go too.

The group returned to Santana and Brittany's large home located deep in what Puck swore was the only wooded area in all of Miami. The house had two stories and three bedrooms, when their guests had first arrived Puck had joked that he and Quinn could just share a room which had gotten him glares all around and was probably the cause of his nervousness from earlier that day. After they stayed up and talked for a few hours he went to bed without so much as a sly comment inviting someone to join him, which was either a sign that he felt that he had said enough for one day or that he was incredibly tired. Santana assumed the latter because the man never seemed to know when to stop.

When she led Brittany up the stairs and got ready for bed she had a hard time not bringing up the topic they had left hanging at the pier. She knew that time would heal those wounds but she didn't want to wait, she wanted Brittany to feel as loved as she possibly could now and not a second later. Already she was drawing up an internal ten point bulletin on how to breach the subject of kids, but how could she bring that up if Brittany still felt reservations about their relationship?

Climbing under the covers and bundling herself up she squeezed her eyes shut and wished for the mysterious man to return and take her back to prom so she could just undo her monumental fuckup. Brittany crawled in behind her and pulled her close, despite the fact that Santana had tried to seal herself up in her blankets to bask in her own angst.

"You're being sad under there." Brittany announced as she worked the obtrusive covers out of the way so she could wrap her arms around Santana's waist pulling her even closer.

"Am not." She lied.

"No matter what my head says, you made me the happiest person in the world today." Brittany said softly, giving Santana a small squeeze.

Santana's hand found Brittany's and she held it tightly, "I know what you mean. About this not feeling real, like it's a dream, but I don't worry about you leaving I just worry I'm going to mess it up somehow. That's why I was so nervous about asking you to marry me." She said quietly, more to the darkness that engulfed the room than the woman behind her.

Brittany turned her around until they were eye to eye, Santana could see her smile and bright eyes in the limited light that filtered in the room, "You must not truly understand how much I love you then."

"Sometimes I don't understand it, because I can't figure out how you ever loved someone like me. Even before prom I was kind of horrible. That you can still even stand to be around me after all this time is sort of shocking."

Brittany smiled knowingly at her, "I fell in love with you because I always saw what was under all that anger. This vulnerable and brave side of you that risks everything to try and get me back, the loving and romantic part that makes you propose to me with a ring you remembered I wanted in high school. I've always seen these sides of you, even if you didn't." Santana turned away and resumed their spooning position in an attempt to keep from getting emotional over that. Brittany let her and pressed a kiss to her neck. "And even though you hide it from me all the time, I see the part of you that gets all weepy at complements because you don't think you deserve them, but you do."

An unbidden smile bloomed over Santana's face as she snuggled deeper into her fiancée's arms.

* * *

><p>AN: Next part is in the works.

You know I was initially going to skip the proposal but decided since Ohio started right where the original left off Florida would too. Mainly because, though I had this planned out, it wasn't already written as most of this is. Having to make a coherent story out of my ramblings so it's not so very random... which defeats the purpose of the name... whateves off to play Skyrim.

Thanks for all the reviews thus far and please keep them coming the feedback is very helpful and motivating.


	4. Florida Santana Part 2

**Miami, Florida**

Puck and Quinn stayed for three more days, and the four of them did everything there was to do in the city, _except_ visit the clubs because Santana did not need for herself or Puck to invite any more obstacles into their relationships. It wasn't until the other two had left that the whirlwind hit and she realized how relaxed everything had been with her friends there.

To accommodate their arrival she had put off several meetings and rerouted all calls to her voicemail. When she returned home from the airport and checked her messages, the bubble of calm created by the high of her recent engagement and being with longtime friends popped and chaos flowed in. Every morning she was either away at an investors meeting or on the phone making an appointment for one, after that she had to talk with promoters and real-estate agents who were interested in expanding the _Pop n' Lock_ chain to the west coast. In the few spare moments she had after that, she had to go over her finances and that would usually end with a long phone call to her stock broker. Even if she'd had an ounce of breathing room it wouldn't have mattered because Brittany was just as busy, she had dance performances followed by her duty of hiring more dancers and having to teach them the many routines of their regular performances. In her off moments she was busy with wedding plans and only contacted Santana with final choices to see if she approved. Whenever that happened it was always in person and the brunette would mull the choice over far longer than she needed to just to increase the amount of time she was able to spend around Brittany.

It took about two weeks for everything to settle to a more manageable pace, and when it did the pre-wedding jitters started to make Santana light headed. As it began to sink in that Brittany was not only serious about them being married soon, she was actually making it happen. Though she tried not to think about it while she was working because it made all the letters and numbers go fuzzy.

She was busy not thinking about it one Tuesday evening while reviewing her stock numbers for the past few months, when Brittany came down the stairs looking stunning in a pale green dress that showed off quite a bit of leg. Santana was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table wearing her work at home outfit; which was jogging shorts with a spaghetti strap top, an outfit that to her was as embarrassing as it was comfortable. Luckily Brittany happened to be the only person in the world she was comfortable being that free around.

"Wow you're all dressed up." She said eyeing the blonde up.

Brittany saw her and frowned, "Why aren't you?"

"I was pretty sure we didn't have anything planned today, I was just going to lounge around and get some work done. Where are we supposed to be right now?" she asked grabbing her phone and going to her calendar to check her appointments.

"We're meeting my family for dinner. They came from Ohio for the wedding and this is the only time both of us are free to meet them." She said almost sounding hurt, "You agreed last week."

Santana thought back, she could recall Brittany asking something and she remembered agreeing but everything had been a bit of a blur lately, "I might have…" seeing the already sad face fall more she jumped up, "I'll get dressed, no big deal."

She gave Brittany a reassuring kiss before dashing up the stairs to pick out something to wear. There was little time for fretting so she settled on a classy white two piece skirt and blouse set and threw on her tallest heels to gain some height. Brittany was tall enough, and her in heels just made Santana feel like an infant.

The whole way to the restaurant Santana went over and over all the things she had to do when she got home, and when she remembered the things she had to do to get ready for the wedding she felt giddy all over again. Once they arrived and were walking inside she decided to wipe her mind clean, this was going to be a relaxing evening with her fiancée and what was soon to be her family. She needed this break and what's more, needed to enjoy it.

Those were her thoughts until she saw the table and she felt her stomach knot up, she had made a horrible mistake. An oversight so massive she couldn't believe she hadn't seen it sooner than this moment.

At the table were Richard, Faith and Hailey, the family she had known and had offered her advice, they had cared for her and her children and babysat on occasion.

_In Ohio. In another life._ She thought suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

In this life, they were the family of the sweetest woman in the world who had her heart trampled in the worst possible way. Then the same person who caused that pain, one day appears out of nowhere to date her again, and now marriage. These three Pierce's were sending paralyzing hateful glares her way, and she couldn't even blame them. Santana couldn't even imagine what she would do if it had been Violet or Ella in the same situation. She'd probably shoot the person on sight.

That thought caused her to jump a little when Richard raised his hand from under the table to return Brittany's excited wave. Santana was dragged over and sat at the circular table between Faith and Brittany. She supposed that was the best seating since the older woman seemed to not even want to look at her anymore.

"Hi everyone." She tried giving a small wave to the table.

Hailey seemed to only get angrier at that and Richard clenched his jaw, Brittany, still seemingly oblivious, picked up a menu and began talking about how bad the traffic was.

They all ordered their food, Santana opting to have whatever Brittany had, since doing that meant she had to talk less. The sound of her voice seemed to raise the hostility levels at the table. That was the reason she sat silently through the meal only nodding her head in acknowledgement if Brittany tried to pull her into conversation, Richard seemed content to follow his wife's example after a while and ignore her, but Hailey shot her angry glances at every opportunity.

It didn't take long for Brittany to put the topic back on the wedding, something that by its mere mention seemed to be like swatting an already angry beehive. Even Faith looked uncomfortable, but still didn't say anything. Santana wanted to tell her to drop it, but Hailey cut in before she could.

"Alright so we're really doing this." The youngest Pierce said suddenly.

"Doing what?" Brittany asked looking quite confused.

"Pretending like nothing is wrong with this. She walked out on you and now she shows her face in front of us like we don't know what happened."

"Hailey." Faith warned.

"No, this is bullshit. Santana breaks Brittany's heart, we get to pick up the pieces, and now suddenly she is back at her own convenience."

"Hailey!" her mother snapped.

Brittany held up a hand to try and calm the table, "I know what happened. I was there, but that was a long time ago."

An unamused snort escaped Hailey's lips, "Uh-huh, because you forgot all about it after that, just a high school fling that ended badly, right?"

Santana wanted to interject but she figured that wouldn't help, especially since Richard seemed to be silently agreeing with his daughter.

"Hailey I can make my own decisions…"

"Clearly you can't, if you're planning on marrying _that_." She growled pointing to Santana.

Normally at that kind of clear provocation, Santana would have had her earrings off and her fists swinging before the other person could finish their sentence. Here she couldn't, the words were harsh, cutting, and she deserve every one.

"Do _not_ talk about Santana like that." Brittany said, her tone holding no room for argument.

"You know what? I'm full, mom, dad I'll take a cab back to the hotel." Hailey said suddenly standing, no one making a move to stop her, "It's been nice seeing you again Brittany." Then she turned to Santana, "She can do better than you. You should let her."

With that said, she stormed away leaving Brittany looking hurt and angry. Brittany watched her sister walk away for a moment before she threw her napkin on the table and went after her with a rushed 'I'll be right back'. Santana watched her go in a panic and had to keep herself from begging her not to go and leave her with her equally upset parents. She watched the blonde chase after her sister until she was out of sight and only turned back before it became clear that she was avoiding facing the remaining Pierces. Though she was quite sure they already knew.

Faith had returned to eating silently and Richard was spinning his fork in his hand, Santana really hoped he didn't plan to throw it.

Swallowing hard she dared to open her mouth, "For what it's worth, I am sorry about what happened."

Richard froze when she spoke and Faith pretended not to hear, her husband looked at Santana steadily for a moment and she couldn't help but wither a little under his gaze.

"Why? It was the best thing you ever did." He said quietly.

Santana found herself more confused than all the times Brittany had said random things combined, "What?"

He sighed heavily clearly not wanting to elaborate but deciding to anyway, "Did you know in the seventh grade you loaned Brittany a pencil? It was halfway worn to the nub and didn't have an eraser."

She frowned, "Um, maybe I guess I did."

Confusion only scratched the surface of what she was feeling. _Is he mad the pencil was used?_

"You did. Know how I remember? Because Brittany came home with it jumping up and down in excitement because she said a princess was at her school and had let her borrow it for the weekend. I don't even know why she took it home, because she refused to write with it she just stared at it, sighing with her head in the clouds instead of doing her homework. After that you let her borrow a CD, Hailey got into her room and ended up scratching it. I saw them fight for the first time ever, she was so upset she made herself sick because she didn't want to give it back to you damaged and ended up missing three days of school."

Santana vaguely recalled that, she remembered visiting Brittany while she was ill and the girl had mumbled apologies to her. She had assumed it was the fever and had forgiven her for whatever she thought she had done wrong. Though she didn't remember the CD, she knew it wouldn't have mattered since she always transferred her music to her iPod anyway.

"Every year I would ask her what she wanted for Christmas or her birthday, and every time the sentence would include your name. 'I want to get Santana the best present', 'I want to sleep over at Santana's house' even vacations were a fight because she didn't want to leave you. Now maybe it's because she's my little girl, but Brittany is the most loving and giving person I have ever met in my life, I don't even get how she does it all the time. So when she focused all that love and attention on you and you threw it away like it was nothing I thought, 'Good'. Because anyone who could hurt her like that and not give a shit isn't worth her time, and I was glad it happened in high school because she would have the rest of her life to find someone right for her. No, Santana I am not mad at you for leaving. What makes me furious is that after you left, every positive relationship Brittany ever had failed and in one way or another it was your fault, you broke her in a way no one was equipped to fix."

If anything, Santana felt like a champion for not breaking down in tears but that was all there was to feel good about, "I understand that and trust me, there isn't a part of me that isn't sorry for how I treated her, but I only want to try and make things right with us. I know I don't deserve a second chance but Brittany gave me one and I hope you can too, for her sake if nothing else."

Richard set his jaw again but didn't speak, instead Faith's low steady voice came from beside her, "You make her happy, and unlike Hailey I trust Brittany to make adult decisions. I don't believe she would have just let you into her life without being confident that you wouldn't make the same mistake twice, and I do respect her choice." She paused and looked up making familiar blue eyes burn into brown ones, "However I am a mother, and you made my baby cry and hurt and worry for years, so you will just have to accept that it will take a while for me to stop hating the sight of you."

Santana opened her mouth to reply, but what could she say to that? Instead she fiddled with her napkin wishing dinner was over already.

Brittany returned to her seat a little red faced and agitated but she picked up the conversation where it left off before Hailey's interruption. Santana finished her dinner and dessert in silence, she felt everything that needed to be said had been.

When it was time to part, Santana watched as her fiancée received a hug and a kiss from her parents and tried not to look piteous as she wished they would embrace her too. When they got into the car and the doors closed, Santana let out a deep breath and sank defeated into her seat behind the wheel.

"That was brutal." She said trying to sound unaffected, but the quiver in her voice gave away her real feelings. Her eyes burned ferociously as tears welled up in them and she preemptively wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

The move did nothing to fool Brittany, as always and the taller woman pulled her as close as the car would allow, "I'm sorry baby. They sort of forced Hailey to come so she was a little... mean."

"Hailey? She just made me feel bad. Your parents steam rolled me." Santana said, somehow managing to not break down totally as she pulled away and started the car in an effort to make it home before a total meltdown occurred.

"They hardly said one word to you." Brittany said sounding shocked.

"While you were there, when you went after Hailey it was a bit different."

She looked horrified, "They promised they wouldn't say anything bad to you. Was it dad? Because he is the worst at being nice when he doesn't want to."

"It was both of them, and don't get mad at them. They have every right to hate me."

"No, they don't. I love you and they should too."

"Britt they're your parents of course they should be mad, that's what parents are for. It would be way worse if they were just indifferent to what happened." She said thinking of their hopefully soon-to-be children.

"I guess, but they still shouldn't have bullied you." Brittany pouted stubbornly.

"What did Hailey say when you caught up to her?" she knew she shouldn't ask that question in light of the fact that she was barely holding herself together as it was.

"More of the same from when she was at the table, except with extra cursing cause our parents weren't around." Brittany replied quietly as if she didn't want Santana to hear.

Not daring to interrogate her further on the matter she drove them home in silence, they walked in the door and Santana put on her best happy face. She only needed it for a little while so she put all her effort into making it look real.

"I still have a lot of papers to go over, so I'm going to work in my office for a bit before bed okay?"

Brittany nodded and watched her go with a sad face, even if she hadn't been able to see through that encrypted plea to be left alone it would have still been obvious since all of her work papers were still spread out on the coffee table.

Once she had managed to get the door to her study closed she sat at her desk and let her eyes release the tears that had been held back from the moment Hailey had lay into her. She did her best to keep her breakdown quiet, but every once in a while a sob would twist out of her that she was sure could be heard past the door, but she was unable to close the flood gates once they were open.

Shaking, she pulled her desk drawer open and pulled out her well worn blue bracelet. She spun the small lettered beads in between her fingers trying to pull comfort from it as she always had, but she couldn't. She felt like she had seen the goal and thought she was almost there only to realize it had only been a trick of the land and there were still miles to go. She was getting married in a little less than two weeks and how in the hell was she going to do that in good conscious when clearly her absence had been far more damaging than she had calculated.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lost and I have no idea which way I should go. Please help me." She sobbed to the bracelet knowing it wasn't some cosmic phone line to Ella. Even if it was she wouldn't expect the little girl to be able to provide any advice, but they had spent hours plotting together on how to send her home, and she missed her brainstorming partner.

At midnight Santana found she still had no answers to her questions, not that she had honestly been expecting any, and she felt no better despite the fact that her makeup had almost totally been cried off. Usually a good cry came with a feeling of relief from released emotions, all she was left with was a tight knot that felt like a stone in her gut.

She forced herself out of the chair and went to the guest bathroom on the first floor to wash away the evidence of her tears. After, she quietly made her way up to the stairs and was going to try and sneak into bed, but was startled to find Brittany sitting on the top step her hands clasped over her knee's looking pensive and melancholy.

Santana sighed knowing she had fooled no one, "I'm alright." She said, and the way Brittany's jaw tightened at her words reminded her of Richard and the hurt started fresh all over again.

"No you aren't." she said simply, her tone implied barely tempered anger but Santana knew it wasn't directed at her.

"Babe they just want what's best for you, and I know better than anyone that I earned every word of that…"

"Stop it!" Brittany snapped and Santana fell immediately silent, "Stop berating yourself for what happened and stop letting other people do it. I forgave you and now you need to forgive yourself."

She took in a shaky breath and tried to smile through her next words, but it came off as a grimace, "But you still don't trust me."

Brittany sighed and stood, descending the stairs to stop right in front of her, "I trust you Santana." She said in a strong sure voice.

"Your heart does, but your head is still warning you, isn't it?"

She was silent for a moment, "It doesn't keep me from loving you or wanting to marry you. I'm not afraid of you leaving me, so please believe that."

"I do, but every time I think I'm close to us being the way we should be, I get a fresh look at the mess I created and sometimes it feels like I'll never fix it."

"How is it you think we should be?" Brittany asked softly.

_Happily married with two kids and one on the way, and your family should love having me around. We should go on double dates with Puck and Quinn while their children and ours play together making us one big fat happy family unit._

Of course she didn't say that, "We should be the way we would if I hadn't left. But I did and I just have to accept that it's all different."

"Maybe, but I told them before that you were coming with me to dinner and I begged them not to treat you like you are some sort of villain, but they did it anyway." Santana saw blue eyes harden with the sort of stubborn determination that she only displayed when making solemn decisions, "They can't come to the wedding."

Santana's mouth hung open for a long second before she was able to rally herself, "Brittany they're your family and you love them however they act. You want them there, I know you do." She tried to be soothing but the blonde was unyielding.

"I only want them to come if they can be happy for us. It's our wedding day and I don't want them making it sad by bringing all their anger and hate for you."

_This is wrong._ She thought frantically, _This cannot be the way this is supposed to play out._

She knew that her future would differ from the one she had visited, but this couldn't be one of the changes, the Pierce's had to be at the wedding, angry or not. There was no way she could let them be pushed away, it would ruin their relationship with Brittany for years to come and give them a whole new reason to hate her. On the other hand she couldn't call off the wedding, that would just add more problems to the stack. The only solution was to get the Pierce's to forgive her or at least fake like her for a few hours, if that turned out to be impossible.

"Don't do that, let me try and talk to them first."

She shook her head, "I don't want them hurting you anymore."

"Please give me a chance to try. That was their first time seeing me in, what? Eleven years? How could they not say what has been on their minds that whole time? I'm sure now, after everything has been put out in the open, they will be more calm." She thought no such thing, but she sold it with everything she had. Her lying up to that point had been abysmal but she needed Brittany to believe this.

"Santana they are really mad. If you go I should go with you."

That wouldn't work, she was sure it would be similar to dinner, but worse and more words like that would be like water on a grease fire. "I need to go alone."

The stubborn look only intensified, "No way."

"Please?" she asked giving her a light pout, "As an early wedding present?"

Brittany's face softened slightly and finally she let out an aggravated sigh, "Fine just stop that." She said grinning despite herself, kissing Santana until her pout became a smile.

The brunette was glad that she had gotten her to agree and stunned that her pouting had worked so well.

_And here I was thinking that only worked when she did it to me._

"Thank you." She said seriously.

Brittany hugged her close, "Don't let them tear into you. If it gets bad, leave. Can you promise me that?"

"I promise." She said hugging her back.

* * *

><p>It was all well and good to have asked for the chance to mend burned bridges however, three days later she still hadn't worked up the courage to go to their hotel and talk to them. She had considered trying to talk to them each in turn but that seemed an unlikely course of action. She even considered the coward route of emailing a long apology and explanation, but all she could see were the ways it would not end well. It had to be done face to face, and soon at that. Yet she still sat at the coffee table in her comfy clothes, her chin resting on the cool glass looking at all the documents she had to go over and getting nothing done. All she could think about was what she should say, but she kept coming up blank, meaning that as she sat there staring at all the work she wasn't doing, her head was full of nothing.<p>

The phone rang when she was about to enter her second hour of motionlessness. Startled, she reached across the table and saw that Puck was calling.

Deciding it would be better to at least be social if not productive she answered it, "Yeah?"

"Okay so _Light Before We Crash_, Friday night, me and Quinn what do you think?" was the greeting she got.

"You want to take Quinn on a date to see _that_?" she repeated for clarification.

"Yes."

"You are aware you're in that movie, right?"

"Duh, why do you think I picked it?"

"Let me rephrase. You are aware that you are in that movie having graphic sex with like, sixty women."

"I refer you to my previous answer."

"If you can't see all the reasons that's a bad idea, then go ahead and do it because you are beyond my help."

"But I thought I'd let her see a little of what she could get if she let the Puck get a home run."

Santana narrowed her eyes disbelievingly at the phone, "She spent sophomore year carrying around your _home run_ dude, I think she remembers."

"She was sorta drunk then. I want a sober, no pressure environment for her to get turned on by my sex prowess and this is about perfect."

"Puck…" she said trying to figure out where to start, "No. Just, no."

"But…"

"You aren't even really having sex with them in the movie."

"Not when the cameras were rolling but we were totally reenacting stuff we'd done earlier."

"Seriously go see something romantic and sweet, PG-13 at the max." she groaned, it was like he was on a mission to ruin their dates.

"How in the hell am I supposed to sit through a flick that has, via ratings, guaranteed me no boobs?"

"Do it for her alright? No woman wants to watch her boyfriend fuck other girls on a date."

"I beg to differ, I knew plenty of girls who…"

"Alright _Quinn_ doesn't want to watch her boyfriend fuck other girls on a date."

He paused for a moment, "I see your point."

"There is hope for you yet."

"Whatever, I guess I'll take her to see a cheesy action flick or something, they have low ratings and the explosions will keep me awake."

At that moment Brittany came bounding down the stairs looking ecstatic, seeing Santana was on the phone she plopped down on the couch behind her bouncing impatiently.

Shooting the eager woman an amused look she patted her thigh in acknowledgement and turned her attention back to the phone, "Puck I gotta go, good luck and do _not_ take her to see your movie. Seriously."

"Tell Brittany I said hi." He laughed before he hung up.

Santana stuck her tongue out at the phone before turning and putting it to better use, kissing her fiancée who returned it, but only briefly.

"Guess what?" Brittany piped at her, the grandness of her news apparently trumping their make out session.

"What?" she knew better than to try at her guessing games, since she was actually expected to guess the answer.

"You aren't even going to try?"

Santana smiled and shook her head, "It's obviously important, so just tell me."

It was clear she wanted to press the issue and get a game started, but was far too excited to wait for the other woman to guess, "Mike said he wants to put on a production of _Cats_!"

"Really?" Brittany nodded quickly, "That's great I know how much you love it."Santana said smiling, her happiness was contagious.

Suddenly Brittany pushed her back as if to calm her, "It's not for sure yet, but Mike said it's super likely."

A perfect eyebrow went up, "Why isn't it a sure thing?"

"He didn't know if you'd want the studio to do the show because it would cost lots more than you're already spending on our studio. He said we would have to rent a bigger theater,buy the licensing rights and hire a lot more people."

"But why wouldn't he just call and ask? It isn't an unreasonable request, the name alone sells itself and your whole company slam dunks every performance. Plus you love it to death and…"

_Oh. You conniving Other Asian._ Santana thought, having to laugh at herself for not seeing it immediately. She was already putting tons of cash into the expansion and renovation of Pop n' Lock and the subsequent chain of other studios, and it would be a risky thing to dump even more money into a whole new production. What better way to make sure she found a way to make it happen than to deliver the message through Brittany who, of course, would have her hopes set on it.

"I really want to be a singing dancing cat San." Brittany said, entwining her hands with Santana's.

"Of course you will be." She said not even bothering to attempt resisting. Mike won this round fair and square.

Brittany's smile made her irritation at the man's underhanded methods fade to nothing and she smiled back, "This is so exciting! I'm going to go tell…" she started and was halfway over the couch before her smile wilted and she plopped back down.

The attitude shift let Santana know she had been about to call her parents, "You should tell them. Your conversation doesn't have to be about me." She tried.

"If they're going to be bullies I have nothing to say to them." She said crossing her arms, "You still haven't even gone to go see them again because they were so mean, even though you said you wanted to."

_Busted._ "I'm going today." She said reflexively and internally started screaming at herself to take it back, but the words were out of her mouth and set in stone. After she had insisted she go, followed by a three day delay she couldn't take this back and prove to Brittany how right she was. And boy was she right. Santana had no desire to jump into that lion's den again after the mauling she got last time. Among the top things she would be willing to do to not have to be subject to that kind of verbal beating again were; water boarding, being dipped in kerosene then thrown into a volcano, and having sex with Finn.

Brittany's eyes darkened and she pressed her forehead to Santana's, "Is there anything I can say to get you to not go, or at least not go alone?"

"Is there anything I can say to get you to let them come even if they openly hate my guts?"

She sighed and shook her head and Santana gave her a 'well there you have it' look.

* * *

><p>AN: So if you read this on tumblr then I may have given the impression (said outright) that these chapters would not be drama heavy, HOWEVER I did also say last chapter that I was originally just going to skip this part. But we're here now and I doubt you want me to drop it so I will power on.

At the risk of being redundant, repeating myself, or saying the same thing over and over and over again, please Review.


	5. Ohio Santana Part 3

**Lima, Ohio**

"Where's Puck?" Santana asked looking half crazed.

Quinn stared at her long time friend with a blank expression on her face. First she weighed whether or not to comment on the fact that the first thing the other woman had asked her upon opening the door was where her husband was without even trying to greet her. Then she thought of showing concern over her frazzled appearance, something she had to assume was connected with the reason she had barged over to her house at three in the morning. Lastly she considered just slamming the door and going back to bed because she had four kids and an alarm set for seven a.m. waiting patiently to ruin a good night's sleep. In the end she settled on reprimanding informative sarcasm that bordered on concern.

"In bed, where you should be. Why are you knocking on my door so late when you know what time I have to get up?"

"Can you wake him up? I really need to talk to him."

A slight irritation flashed across her face but she wiped it away with the heel of her hand while pretending to wipe away sleep, "Can this not wait until tomorrow?"

"I waited two days already and I think I'm going crazy, and he won't answer his phone." She whined and Quinn felt irritation creep up in her again.

"Santana why is it that when something happens you never want to talk to me about it?"

She frowned, "I… I don't _not_ talk to you…" She said carefully not really having a ready made reason for her preference. She and Puck had always worked through tough times together. Even when they were dating in high school it had been more of a friends with benefits thing, one of those benefits had been someone to talk to.

"Then just tell me what's wrong so both of us can get some sleep." She stepped aside allowing her to enter.

Santana wanted to protest and insist that she get Puck, or just skip the pleasantries and wake him herself, but she could sense that Quinn genuinely resented being overlooked as someone to share with. Also, as good as Puck was as a listener he was practically useless when sleepy.

She followed Quinn into the living room where the blonde flopped down on the couch and waved a hand vaguely at the remaining seats.

"So what is so drastically important that you had to bust in here at this hour?" she asked while fighting a yawn.

Now that she actually had to say it, Santana wasn't so eager to talk anymore, "S-she, Brittany that is…she um…"

"Doesn't know you're here I take it." Quinn said trying not to let her eyes droop shut.

"She wants another baby."

Hazel eyes snapped open at that, "Another baby? In addition to the one she is having now?"

Santana nodded, "And she wants me to have it."

"Oh, so she told you about that?"

Santana looked at her disbelievingly, "You knew she wanted this?"

Quinn yawned again nodding her affirmation, "For a long time. She told me right after she had Violet, she asked me if I thought it was a good idea to tell you."

"And what did you tell her?"

"That you already had one baby to handle and it would be too much for her to have to look after Violet and take care of you too. She agreed and when she saw some movie or another she got it in her head that carrying your baby for you would be about the same thing."

"But why wouldn't she tell me about it at all?"

"Keep your voice down or you will be responsible for putting to sleep any child you wake." Quinn growled pointing a stern finger at the other woman.

"Sorry, but this is starting to make my head hurt."

"Santana you really need to talk to her if you really want to know why she kept quiet."

"But you _do_ know the reason." She challenged.

"I do, but it isn't my place to tell. What you need to do now is decide what you are going to tell her."

"About what?"

Quinn sighed in exasperation, "About having a baby."

"I…" Santana tried to take the thought and mull it over, but she couldn't over the high ringing nose that was echoing in her head, "I told her I would think about it, but what the hell is there to think about?"

The blonde sat up sighing and leaned forward a little, "You're trying to take on too much at one time. First answer this; after this baby Brittany is carrying do you want another child? Without thinking on who carries it or why, do you want another baby at all?"

Santana could feel the ringing recede and her mind focused on that one thought. Did she want another baby? She didn't have an immediate answer for that, but it was a question she could tackle. For a moment she almost asked Quinn if she wanted any more, but immediately stopped as she recalled that Quinn had never had a planned pregnancy dating as far back as high school. Joseph had been a surprise and so had Caleb, after that Quinn went on the pill but Aaron beat the odds and came to be. Abigail had been a miracle seeing as how she had been conceived despite her mother being on birth control and using a diaphragm while her father wore a condom and swore that he pulled out. After that happened Puck gave up their borderline psychotic overcautious contraceptive ways saying that they were clearly meant to have their kids and was over and done not getting the full pleasure out of sleeping with his wife. Quinn felt he had a point and Santana agreed, but suspected his opinion was mostly born from the fact that Quinn had begun to press for him to have a vasectomy.

Her situation was totally different, she had never thought of having kids in the first place, however, every one they did have was a result of planning, time and money and once they were there she couldn't even begin to imagine her life without them. It would be the same for their upcoming son or daughter and would be for any future kids, she knew Brittany wanted a big family and she had no problem with giving her that wish. Finances would be the only thing to hold them back, but otherwise she would be happy with whatever number of children her wife wanted.

"We have a limited budget, but I'm not opposed to more kids." She said finally.

Quinn waved her hand with a flourish, "And like that, half of the problem is solved, you would be fine with another baby so that doesn't need to be a bee in your bonnet any longer."

"Bee in my bonnet? What are you fifty?"

"No, sleepy. Next on the list is do _you_ want to have a baby? We have established that another child is okay with you, so it's down to whether or not you want to get pregnant."

Santana was quiet for a long moment, so long Quinn started to drift back to sleep and when she did speak her voice startled the other woman awake, "I can't think of a reason to."

"Huh?" Quinn said having lost track of what she was doing out on the couch.

"I don't know why I would want to do it. I mean there are reasons not to, like the weight gain and general discomfort not to mention the pain during birth, but I can't think of a reason I would want to do it… other than because she wants me to."

The woman across from her seemed to wake right up when she said that, "You would really do it because she wants you to? This is a major decision to make because of someone else, I mean you should take her feelings into consideration but to have that as the sole reason to do it? Not wise."

"I know and… that's why I think I have to say no, but at the same time… I've already disappointed Brittany so much with what happened and-" she was cut off by a giant couch pillow being thrown at her head, "What the hell was that for!"

"Lower your voice, and it was for being an ass."

"How am I being an ass?" she growled as quietly as she could.

"You are sitting here telling me you don't want to have a baby, but will because of your guilt. That is the most fucked up thing you have ever said to me. Do not let Selena be the reason you do or don't do something, _especially_ in regards to your family."

She hadn't thought of it that way, "You're right."

"Damn right I'm right. Brittany might be disappointed if you say no but it would make her furious if she found out you were having a baby solely as a way to make amends."

"So that's it then? I just shoot her down?"

Quinn stood yawning again and patted Santana gently on the shoulder, "You know Brittany better than anyone, you know the best time to tell her and the gentlest way to do it. Puck and I can't help you with that one." She said and climbed the stairs back to her bedroom leaving Santana to think it over in the dimly lit room.

* * *

><p>By morning, the only decision Santana had come to was that she didn't need to rush telling Brittany anything. They couldn't even reasonably consider discussing another baby until this pregnancy was over meaning she had at least until a couple of months after the birth. So she remained silent on the subject, and over the next couple of days Brittany surprisingly didn't even hint at bringing it up. Santana resolved to put the issue aside for the moment and deal with a pressing matter that she couldn't ignore.<p>

It was late Saturday evening when Santana stepped into her daughters' room to find them both sitting on the floor constructing what looked like a castle made out of toothpicks.

"Hey." She said to announce herself, "What are you making?"

"A mouse cage." Violet announced proudly.

Santana was alarmed by the notion, "You saw a mouse somewhere?"

"Nope, but you never know."

"Why is it shaped like a castle?"

"Because it would be mean to make a mouse stay trapped in a boring old cage." Ella said.

She was surprised by this answer as it was one Violet or Brittany were prone to give, Ella rarely shared their whimsical nature when it came to things like that. It made her smile to see her youngest child had finally loosened up a bit.

"I see. I do sincerely hope this isn't a ploy you get your mother and I to buy you a mouse."

Ella shrugged, "I just like making stuff."

Violet remained quiet and was a little over fixated on the toothpick she was placing, leaving Santana to believe that had been her goal exactly since that was Brittany's tell for being caught in a plot.

"Girls there is something I want to talk to you about. Can you come sit with me a minute?" she asked taking a seat on the edge of Violet's bed.

Ella nodded and leapt onto her own followed by her sister who settled down and began to idly pick glue off her fingers.

"What's up?" her oldest asked glancing up at her.

And now that she had their attention she wasn't sure what to say, "I, um… you know I love you both very much." She said feeling that was the place to start. They both nodded and she knew she needed to say something else, but the opener hadn't really offered her an obvious follow up, "You know how I don't like for you to call me mom?" Ella looked down at the floor almost like she was afraid, Violet just nodded, "Well I want to put a stop to that."

A small frown creased Violet's face and suddenly she was Brittany in perfect miniature, "What should we call you then?"

"Mom is fine."

"That's confusing." Violet stated bluntly, "Mom is mom you can't be mom too."

_How did you manage to not think this far ahead?_ She had been so focused on them _not_ calling her Santana anymore she hadn't given any thought to what they _should_ call her instead.

"We could call her mommy." Ella offered so quietly Santana had to strain to hear.

"That's what I called mom when I was a baby." Violet interjected, "What's wrong with calling you Santana?"

Leave it to Violet to call her out on that, sometimes she could be so very different from Brittany and other times they were so alike it was scary. This was one of those scary times.

"I… it's not wrong. It's what I asked you to do, it's just…"

"Impersonal." Ella mumbled.

Santana swallowed thickly as the word sunk in and the harsh, hard truth of it hit her, "Yeah, impersonal."

"Oh." Violet said, considering, "Sanny doesn't work?" she asked looking to Ella who shook her head.

"What about momma?" Ella tried.

The small blonde seemed to consider this, her thinking frown firmly in place, "That sounds okay. And you're sure you don't mind?" she asked Santana making sure that this was allowed.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, but it would mean a lot to me if you would."

Ella looked up at her for the first time grinning slightly, "I would like to." She said, her sister nodding in agreement.

Having settled that, Santana let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding, "Good."

Violet hopped off the bed and leapt into Santana's arms giving her a tight hug, "I love you momma."

She hugged her back and managed not to scare her children by getting over emotional, "I love you too Violet."

Leaning back, the girl observed her mother's face with a smile, "Yeah I like this better than Santana or Sanny." She said and hopped onto the floor to grab the mouse cage they had been building. "I'm going to show mom."

Violet made a move for the door but Santana caught her around the middle, "You know she is extremely sensitive to the needs of small animals, especially now that she's pregnant. We really do not need a pet in addition to a baby so you won't be manipulating her into getting you a mouse, right?" she asked sweetly.

Violet had a mischievous smile and a sideways glance with her answer, "I can just show her right?"

"Yes, but only show her. I don't want to hear later how there is a lonely baby mouse at a pet shop waiting to live in there."

"Okay." She pouted.

Santana gave her a kiss on the top of her head and let her walk out the door a little less excited to show off her project now that the possibility of gaining a pet was gone. Once Violet left she turned to Ella who was still sitting on her bed looking at where the mouse cage had been.

"We weren't even done with it." She said offhandedly.

Santana smiled at the girl and watched her shyly slide off the bed and begin to clean up the mess that had been left behind. Quickly she gathered up their supplies and placed them on the dresser by the window where Santana spied a silver compass. It was something she recalled the girl had asked to get for Christmas. At least that was what Brittany had said she wanted, but it was always something she wondered about.

"Ella?" she questioned and waited for her daughter's eyes to meet hers, "Why did you want a compass for Christmas?"

She wanted to know because she felt that in the time they had wasted not talking there was so much she had missed about her.

"I didn't really want a compass." She said and this time her words were so soft Santana did miss them. Seeing her mother had not heard her she repeated herself but only marginally louder.

"Did mom just hear you wrong?"

"No, I told her I wanted a it." Ella answered picking the object up and staring at it sadly.

Santana could sense there was something to this that she didn't want to share, so she pulled the small girl into her arms and held her trying to be the comforting presence she hadn't been in such a long time. "What was it you really wanted?"

Ella shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, "A chemistry set."

"Why wouldn't you just ask for that?" she asked giving the small body a light squeeze.

"Bradley said it was weird for girls to want chemistry sets."

Leaning back she got the girl to look at her, Santana's face showing pure confusion, "Who is Bradley?"

"A boy at school."

"Why do you care what some kid at school says? Your mom and I talked to both you girls about the things others may say to you in class, and you've always handled it so well."

Another light shrug came, and from the way she felt Ella's heart pounding in her chest they were reaching the heart of the matter, "I don't usually but I got scared." Santana was silent prompting the girl to speak, "I thought that maybe it was a little weird, I mean Violet loves chemistry and math and stuff and she doesn't have one. So when mom asked I panicked, I figured a compass was less weird than chemistry set."

"You lied because you didn't want Bradley to think you were weird?" her voice dripped with incredulity.

"I didn't want mom to think I was weird, you were already not talking to me and I didn't want to lose mom too." Quickly she spun around to face Santana, "I know I wouldn't have now, but I was scared then." She explained.

Santana knew Ella was trying to keep her from feeling bad, it didn't stop her from adding another verse to the _You're A Total Shit Santana Lopez_ song that had been playing for the longest, but it was incredibly sweet of her to try.

"We can get you that chemistry set, and I promise it isn't even a little weird that you want one."

Ella grinned up at her, "That's okay I actually like my compass, mom had my name engraved on it and everything. I kind of feel like a real explorer while I wear it when Violet and I play in the yard."

Making sure to get her message across loud and clear Santana looked directly into her daughter's eyes, "You need to know that no matter what, your mother and I will always love you and Violet. There is nothing you could do or say to change that. Do you understand?"

"Yes. It's fine cause we're good now." She said a small smile appearing on her face.

Santana couldn't stop herself from hugging the girl again, "Yeah we're good. Always."

* * *

><p>As usual, Santana was the first one up Saturday morning. She bathed, dressed for her morning exercises and began to cook breakfast before Puck arrived. On any other Saturday, Ella would emerge from her room about twenty minutes later and Violet and Brittany would sleep in until hunger or the tempting smell of food woke them. Today, however, Brittany was the first one up, though Santana figured it was due to the baby being an early riser. She kissed her wife in greeting and continued cooking as the blonde watched her carefully and perched herself on a stool on the other side of the counter.<p>

"Santana?" she said carefully after a while.

"Yeah babe?"

"What I said before, about you having a baby…" she was cut off by the sound of Santana dropping the pan she had currently been trying to put in the sink.

Luckily there had been nothing in it so the subsequent string of curses quickly subsided.

"Sorry I…" she started picking up the pan and throwing it into the sink, "Look about that I, um…" she had not come up with a way to turn the idea down without calling the wrath of the hormone gods.

"Don't worry about it." Brittany said ignoring the stuttered response.

"Don't… worry about it?"

"It was unfair of me to put that on you all of a sudden like that, but you know how I am right now." her hand rested on the prominent bump in her belly, "We're already planning for this one and I think we should deal with that right now."

Stunned Santana stood there not knowing what to say, "You... wait so you don't want me to have a baby?"

Brittany shook her head, "Not unless it's something that you want, and it's pretty obviously not."

She had not expected that to be so easy, "It's only that I can't come up with a reason why I would want to."

It was the truth, but the way Brittany's face twisted at those words made her feel they weren't the right ones to say. However, instead of crying or becoming angry the blonde just sighed, "I just wanted you to know it isn't something you need to worry about anymore."

"Britt you could have told me you know, about wanting me to have a baby. We could have discussed it before now." Santana said remembering that Quinn had known more about this than her.

She shook her head, "No we couldn't, I didn't even mean to bring it up when I did."

Santana felt stung by that knowledge, "What makes you think you can't talk to me about this?"

"Because you would agree. If I asked you enough, you would."

"What makes you think that?" she flared up at the accusation.

"You didn't want to have kids when we got married but I begged and eventually you gave in. You tried to make me give up by making me wait until you graduated but you gave in. If it isn't something you want I definitely don't want you to do it, that wouldn't be fair to you or our baby."

She could not deny the truth in what was said but she still resented it, "I'm saying no now so clearly I can make my own mind up."

"Yes you can. I'm glad you picked what makes you happy." Brittany said, there was no malice or sarcasm in her voice but a calm sort of finality that made Santana uncomfortable.

She wanted to retort, to say something to open a dialogue again because Brittany just dropping something like that seemed wrong. Clearly there was some part of this she wasn't seeing and her wife had given up trying to show her. Before she could comment on this the doorbell rang and Brittany was sliding off the stool and making her way carefully to the door.

When she opened it Puck was on the other side smiling broadly, and after greeting the blonde he placed his hands on the sides of her stomach squeezing his eyes tightly.

"What the hell are you doing Puckerman?" Santana asked, her eyebrows raised in curiosity and amusement.

"Using my super baby manipulation skills to make sure this is a girl." He said never opening his eyes.

"And why would you care?"

"Well Joseph and Caleb have Violet and Ella but we have to have someone for Aaron to marry."

Brittany laughed at that but Santana's face went dark, "I don't know what kind of fantasy world you live in but that is _not_ happening."

Puck adopted a mock offended look, "Are you implying my boys aren't good enough? I'll have you know they are the height of male physical perfection."

"Well if it's a boy maybe he can marry Abby." Brittany said clearly amused by the conversation.

In all seriousness he turned to her shaking his head, "Oh, no I'm afraid not. Abby is going to join a convent at thirteen where she will live until I die. After that she may leave and date if she so desires, but only under the supervision of one of her brothers."

"I see." Brittany continued to laugh finding it all very amusing.

Santana, however, did not, "Alright you and your double standards need to back off my wife." She said marching over to the man and shoving him away from her unborn child. Kneeling before the baby bump she whispered, "Don't you listen to him he's an idiot, you be whatever you want to be."

When she stood Brittany pulled her as close as possible for a deep kiss, when they broke apart Santana was smiling in a lopsided sort of way.

"Don't forget why I'm here Santana." Puck said, effectively snapping her out of her stupor.

"Whatever, you're early I've got time to kiss my lady if I want to."

"Not when I'm about to eat, kissing is yucky." Violet chimed from below looking disgusted, Ella stood slightly behind her, but her parents display of affection clearly didn't bother her.

Puck chuckled, "Don't knock it till you've tried it kiddo."

Santana glared him, "Knock it all you want Violet, trying is overrated. Puck out of my house before you rub off on my family."

"Okay but if you aren't out here in five I'm coming in to get you no matter where you are or what you're doing." He warned with a huge grin on his face.

Ella took a timid step forward and pulled on Santana's pant leg getting her attention, "Santan…er sorry momma is breakfast ready?" at the slip she winced looking apologetic and upset that she had messed up.

Brittany placed a hand on her head, "Baby you know Santana doesn't like that." She said softly.

Violet just beamed, "It's cool mom she asked us to call her momma."

Brittany's eyes darted up to meet Santana's, the other woman shrugged like it wasn't a big deal but her wife pulled her into a crushing hug, "I'm so glad you changed your mind." She sobbed.

It could have been genuine happiness or a surge of hormonal emotion that overtook the blonde, but Santana felt her crying into her shoulder. She worked one arm out of the vice grip with no small effort and rubbed her back while she turned to the two girls watching them.

"Breakfast is ready and waiting on the counter okay?"

Violet nodded already used to her mom's mood swings and trotted off to claim her breakfast, Ella lingered slightly longer and Santana saw the same look of self irritation that had been on her face when she slipped and called her Santana. She wanted to call to her and say it was fine and it would take time to get used to it but the small girl turned on her heels and went after her sister, leaving Santana still locked in a tight hug with her wife crying against her shoulder and her baby bump pushing all the air out of her lungs.

Running her fingers through Brittany's hair she tugged gently prompting her to make eye contact, when she did Santana kissed her and wiped away her tears as best she could since they were being replaced quickly.

"It's okay." She said gently.

Brittany released her vice hold and dried her tears laughing at her own emotional outburst, "I'm sorry, you know how I get."

"You know I know." She joked, "Listen Ella's going to have a hard time getting used to this. I pushed the 'Don't call me mom' lesson on her a little too hard so do you think you could help her adjust?"

"Absolutely." She said looking like she might cry again, a huge smile splayed on her face, and then without warning she pulled Santana close and kissed her deeply, the intensity of it making the brunette moan.

"You cannot possibly be serious, you'll be back in like an hour." Came Puck's voice as he dipped his head back in the door, "Come on you horndog." He said pulling her away just before her hands could find their way underneath Brittany's clothing.

Santana rolled her eyes and slipped out of his grasp turning back to Brittany deciding not to comment on the fact that _Puck_ had called _her_ a horndog, "You have your cell in case something happens right?"

"Yes and two little helpers if that fails."

She turned to see the little helpers had already fixed themselves a plate of food and moved to sit in front of the television, "Be sure to keep the phone nearby regardless okay?"

"Okay." She said smiling brightly.

Santana turned to leave but stopped and came back to her wife's side, "Britt, what we were talking about earlier, I know you still want me to-"

"I told you I only want it if you do, and you don't so it's settled."

Again her voice lacked any sort of negativity, but Santana knew there was something Brittany wasn't saying. She knew from experience in cases like this it was sort of a done deal unless she could somehow guess the source of the problem. She honestly did not feel the need to have a baby or even consider it much further, but needed to know what it was that she had obviously missed.

It was a thought that bothered her as she gave her wife a final kiss goodbye and took off after Puck as they began their jog.

"I swear you two always act like you might not see each other again." He laughed as she caught up.

"After losing about six months of my life I must admit I have begun to value my time with my family more." She snorted at him, "Plus you know how baby hormones are, when I'm lucky enough for them to land on horny I go for it."

He laughed, "Ain't that the truth. So what's this I hear about you busting into my house in the middle of the night?"

"Quinn told you about that?" she asked a little sharply.

"Only that you came by and wanted to talk to me."

She felt relief that Quinn had kept the conversation to herself and suddenly felt less animosity about the fact that she held Brittany's secrets to her chest, "Yeah I was wigging out. Britt wanted me to have our next baby."

He stumbled a little, but regained his stride, "You serious? Are you going to do it?"

She shook her head, "That's just the thing, I thought it over and talked with Quinn and decided I didn't want to but right when I'm going to tell Britt that, she tells me to just forget about it."

A frown crawled over his face, "That doesn't sound right."

"I thought the same thing. She said it was something she had wanted for us for a long time, but she was just being emotional when she asked me to do it and didn't want to pressure me and it's all fine."

"Whoa, red flag! Chicks are never totally okay with being told no without at least a little argument." She glared at him, "No offense but it's true. If she is telling the truth and really wanted you to do it before she was pregnant then she _really_ wants it, and then to say forget it… something's up."

"That's what I think but she has totally shut down any attempt I make to talk about it."

"Then it's seriously serious."

The more Puck confirmed her fears the more she wanted to turn around and lock herself in a room with Brittany until she got the truth, but she knew that wasn't how to handle it. When she thought on it, Brittany was always one to voice when she was hurt by something. She hadn't clammed up about something that was bothering her since high school when she had starting dating Artie to get back at her.

"I need to figure this out."

"Yeah you do. This is one of those things that will bite you in the ass harder the longer you leave it."

Santana rubbed her face in frustration, "Is life ever just easy for me!"

_It was for a while, then you fucked Selena._ Her brain growled at her.

* * *

><p>AN: This took longer than expected to get done but in my defense I am still working three jobs only one of which gives holidays off. My Christmas was spent at work as was my Thanksgiving as will be my New Years Eve.

As always Review plz


	6. Ohio Santana Part 4

**Lima, Ohio**

Santana stood and stretched out her muscles, all now severely cramped after leaning over her desk all afternoon, finally ready for a well deserved break. She had been reviewing the applicants from the summer program looking to join her team, a process that had become an almost impossible task since she had beaten Sue and her consecutive winning streak at Nationals, making her the most sought after coach in high school cheerleading. It was good because the donations were flooding in, and the cash gifts that were made to her personally were alleviating any of the strain an additional child would have added to their finances. The problem was all this meant more work and less time to spend with her expanding family. With a huff she looked over all the applications and videos there still were to go over and left it behind to go to the kitchen for a drink.

Upon opening the fridge she saw a variety of beverages but the only thing that seemed to call to her was the Budweiser in the far back corner. It was barely noon and water would have been a better choice but she had been up before the sun and working hard to have some free time for when Brittany returned from her parent's house with the girls. Besides she needed to relax. In a defiant manner she grabbed the beer and glared around the room as if there was someone there to judge her and opened it on her way to the couch to watch television.

She settled into the soft well worn cushions and tried to let herself be swept away with the problems of the _Real Housewives of Atlanta,_ but instead she kept focusing on her wife and the nagging feeling that Brittany had not told her everything there was to tell.

It was weird to want to pursue this matter after it seemed settled, but she couldn't just ignorethe feeling that something was wrong. Irritated, she downed half her beer in one go and slammed it down on the end table. No good would come of worrying about it and she knew that, so she stretched out on the couch and allowed her frayed nerves to settle. With her eyes half closed, her arm thrown carelessly over her stomach and the other dangling off the couch a memory came to her that brought a smile to her lips.

* * *

><p><em>Brittany sat cross legged on the floor across from Violet helping the then four year old girl put together a twenty piece puzzle. Of course she could have solved it blindfolded but she took pleasure in feigning ignorance and watching the joy her daughter got from showing her mother where the pieces went. Santana watched them from the couch lazily as she lay across it, one hand on her stomach and the other smoothing the hair of two year old Ella as she sat looking through a picture book. Occasionally she would see something of interest and turn to Santana smiling broadly and pointing at the picture making her smile as well, because when Ella lit up like that how could she resist?<em>

_When the small girl got to a picture of a lion she gasped, picked up the whole book and showed Santana enthusiastically._

_"Wion!" Ella exclaimed, turning the book to the rest of the room._

_"That's right baby it's a lion." Brittany encouraged._

_Proud to have gotten it right, Ella set the book down and gave the most adorable ferocious face Santana had ever seen as she roared out her best lion impression. Brittany recoiled in over exaggerated fright and when the roar was directed at her, Santana did too. Ella laughed at this response and began to stalk the room on all fours roaring at the various stuffed animals scattered on the floor. However when she got to where Violet was sitting, her sister picked up a puzzle piece and threw it hard, hitting Ella squarely in the face._

_The small child instantly burst into tears leaving her parents in shock as to what had happened. Santana recovered herself quickly and sighed internally, she didn't want to be the disciplinarian but Brittany never seriously put her foot down with either of their children, leaving it up to Santana to settle these issues. However to her complete and total surprise Brittany moved before she did._

_"Violet!" she shouted in shock as she leapt to her feet to pick Ella up off the floor._

_The small blonde looked a little abashed at the obvious anger in her mother's tone. "It was a lion, they eat people." She said in her defense._

_Brittany cradled Ella in her arms and checked her face for damage, but other than a small red mark and tears she was fine, "She's not a lion, you don't throw things at her or hit her."_

_"But she was make believing to be one." She said averting her eyes to the carpet._

_Sighing, Brittany carried Ella over to her and knelt down, "Yes she was, but she was just pretending so that means no matter what, she's still your sister okay?"_

_"Yes." Violet mumbled clearly saddened by the reprimand._

_"You remember when Santana and I talked to you about being a big sister? What all that means?"_

_"That I have to look out for her."_

_She smiled, "That's right, so you can't hurt her even when she is pretending to be something dangerous alright?"_

_"Yes." She replied ducking her head in shame._

_Brittany pulled Violet's chin up, "Now tell Ella you're sorry."_

_"Sorry Ella." she said and leaned forward to place a hasty apologetic kiss on the red mark that was still visible on the bridge of her sister's nose._

_Ella's tears had dried up and she had moved on from the earlier commotion, taking comfort in her mother's arms. She giggled when Violet kissed her and squirmed free of Brittany to resume her lion game, roaring at the partially finished puzzle and then at Violet again though admittedly she did so while backing away in case of another attack. Violet advanced and patted her now growling sibling on the head._

_"I can pet her right mommy?" she asked tentatively._

_Brittany laughed, "Yes you can pet her."_

_Violet hugged her new pet lion and proceeded to sic her on a stuffed bear that suffered the most adorable mauling either parent had ever seen. Brittany turned to Santana smiling broadly, clearly adoring the interaction between their children. For her part Santana was amazed how her wife could continue to surprise her after so long, she smiled back knowing in that moment there could never be anyone more perfect for her than Brittany._

* * *

><p>The sound of the front door opening snapped Santana out of her memories and back into the present where she was sprawled out on the couch with a beer rather than doing her work. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal but with her wife approaching the final month of pregnancy anything could be a trigger. Quickly she leapt off the couch and downed the rest of the beer as she dashed to the trashcan.<p>

Feeling like a teenager she quickly she ran to the bathroom and gargled a cup of mouthwash knowing it wouldn't mask the evidence entirely, but she had to try. When she walked back into the living room she saw Quinn standing there, looking around quizzically.

"What were you hiding? Your marijuana?" she laughed.

Santana scowled at her, "I thought you were Brittany."

"Obviously."

"Don't make me revoke your spare key privileges. You really should knock as a courtesy." She grunted obviously irritated by the scare.

"I did, you didn't answer. Noah said you'd be home today so I came to help."

An eyebrow went up, "Help what?"

"Help go through all your new applicants." Santana laughed heartily at that leaving Quinn glaring, "Why is that funny?"

"Oh, you're serious."

"Santana you seem to forget I was your captain for three years."

"Like a billion years ago and Sue was my coach, but I've beat her ass every time she dares show it at Nationals."

"So you don't want my help." She said flatly.

Santana paused and gave her office a quick glance, "I didn't say that…"

"Well then grab your stuff and let's get out of here."

"And go where?"

"Anywhere, I want to spend my time hanging around your house about as much as I want to spend it hanging around mine. If we're going to do this we are going out."

"Fair enough." She conceded and went to pack up the stacks of papers and her laptop before she and Quinn headed out the door.

They predictably ended up at the Lima Bean spread out across a booth meant for six going through countless applicants. For the most part they hardly spoke, each reading through credentials and sorting the candidates into yes and no piles. Though after a while Santana found herself in need of another break, she bought herself and Quinn coffee and muffins and realized that was the closest she had come to a meal all day.

"Where are the kids today?" she asked Quinn before taking another bite of her muffin having just realized how hungry she was.

"Noah has them, there is some big deal football team playing and the boys were all excited, of course Abby gets cranky if they go off without her so…" she finished indicating that she was alone.

"You know you're going to have to get a little into the football craze, you have three boys and a husband who will mold all of them into quarterbacks and linemen."

"If they get into sports seriously I will be there for every game, but until then I will leave it to him to deal with that."

"Sounds like a plan."

Quinn looked at all they had done and all there was still left to do, "Shouldn't you outsource this to your team captain?" she asked idly flipping through a few pages.

Santana snorted at that, "I did. This is what she gave me. Before that there was enough to fill a van."

"Wow. Too bad Jamie isn't still around, she could have sorted this in no time." She said idly sipping her coffee, "This is insane, but it means you're doing well."

"That I am. I even got offers from a couple of teams in the NFL."

Quinn almost dropped her cup into her lap, "Are you serious?"

"Yup."

"Well… are you going to take them?"

She shook her head, "No, I'm doing fine here, taking those jobs would mean we would have to move and I don't want to uproot the girls. That and we have the baby coming so it's just a bad time and the offers have a time limit." She said, being far too stubborn a person to also admit it would mean leaving Puck, Quinn and their kids behind and that did not sit right with her.

As much as Santana acted like they were only old friends, at this point in her eyes, they were family. They were close family and she needed them.

"You know what's best, but that is a big deal Santana."

She nodded and took another sip of coffee as she looked over a nearby application when something caught her eye. At the far end of the counter ordering her own drink was Selena.

Santana dribbled coffee all down the front of her shirt as she choked on a mouthful that went down the wrong way. Quinn frowned at her then followed her eye line over to the other woman and her mouth dropped open.

"What the hell?" she growled and appeared to be moving to get up but Santana stopped her.

"I don't think she knows we're here." She choked out still trying to clear her windpipe.

Quinn looked over again to see the truth of that, Selena was indeed just placing an order and had not so much as glanced over at them. This was a small town and it would be unreasonable to think that they would never cross paths again.

Santana refocused tenfold on the paper she had been looking at, but in reality all of her attention was focused on her peripheral vision where Selena still stood. It was difficult to not just get up and run away to escape the guilt seeing that woman always brought up in her. Her stomach writhed as she recalled what Puck had told her about what Selena had done. It made her furious and ashamed and afraid, actually it flat out made her crazy. As much as she wanted to flee she also wanted to run up to the woman and beat her senseless for hurting Brittany the way she did, but she couldn't even harness that for bravery since what had happened had been as much her fault as Selena's.

Even now she didn't know how the whole affair had even happened, what she had told Brittany hadn't been a lie. Selena really had convinced her that she was unhappy in her marriage, but how she had managed that was the mystery. The danger with Selena wasn't her feminine wiles or her psychotic episodes that would drive her to be forceful and even cruel; it was her words. Her words were her weapon and they were deadly, the woman could sell snow to an Eskimo in a blizzard. Santana had gone to her and listened as she made her believe that she didn't love Brittany. _Her_ Brittany. The woman who taught her what love was, who got her to throw away every mask she had spent years building to be a person worthy of her and Selena had her thinking that she didn't love that person. She had listened to those poisonous words and let them fester until she was too fucking muddle headed to see an obvious ploy to get her into bed.

She had called and told Santana she wanted to talk about one of their mutual students. A meeting Selena wanted to have at her own house. If that wasn't a warning then there is no such thing, but she went anyway and made the biggest mistake of her life. It had only gotten worse when she realized that not only was Selena manipulative and crazy, she was also in love. She knew because the other woman would tell her so every time she came. It irritated Santana to the point where she had snapped back 'But I don't love you, not at all, and I never will.'

She had paid dearly for that comment. To make a point, Selena had demanded they meet at Santana's house where she insisted on having sex in every room in the house, though Santana had been able to somehow keep the psycho out of her and Brittany's bedroom. A feat she hadn't been able to repeat for her daughters' room, but at least she kept the deranged bitch out of their beds.

Then, as if to prove she was totally bonkers, she always referred to that incident as if it had been Santana's idea and maybe she might have believed it given enough time. But that night Ella had been the first one in the door and ran through the house looking for her. Her daughter had found her pinned against the counter Selena assaulting her mouth, the other woman's hands buried between her legs. Selena had been about to leave so they had both been clothed at the time and the counter shielded the small girl from the worst of it, but she couldn't forget the look of confusion and shock on her daughter's face. They broke apart and played it off as nothing and Selena had slipped out past Brittany who waved a pleasant goodbye as she came in that made Santana ill. She would have dubbed _that_ moment the biggest mistake of her life but it was so far past mistake it didn't have a word in the English language.

It was something she began to vehemently hate Selena for in addition to everything else, and she never forgot who it was that had insisted they be in her home in the first place. But, as always, in the end she could only honestly blame herself for what Ella saw.

"You alright?" was Quinn's concerned question as she noticed the uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah, just… bad memories." she said cryptically.

Even as she said that Selena collected her drink and headed for the door and, for a brief second, their eyes met and Santana felt that guilt, hatred and anger well up in her again tenfold. Selena seemed to sense it because though it was clear she wanted to approach she turned and exited without so much as a backwards glance. It gave Santana some idea of how badly Puck and his guys must have scared her because Selena would never have backed down from her like that before.

Once she was out of their line of sight Quinn sighed and leaned back in her seat, "Well there is one applicant here who I think is stronger than the others, he's won all the competitions he has ever been in, granted they were all local and on the middle school level, but he has potential."

Santana hid a half grin, she knew Quinn was helping her move past what happened because without someone else to provide a distraction she would fall into a pit of self hate that would help nothing.

Leaning her forehead against the blonde's shoulder she mumbled, "Thanks Quinn."

Confused she glanced down at the other woman, "For what?"

_For what? For everything, being my family and my life support,_ "I don't know, just thanks."

Quinn simply smiled at that but Santana knew she understood what hadn't been said, she ruffled Santana's hair slightly, "You're welcome. Now let's get this sorted out, you don't want to be late meeting Brittany back home. You know she's bound to be tired by then."

Knowing the truth of that she sat up and got back to work, "You're right, time to focus." She said looking at the paper Quinn had been looking at, "Ugh, no way am I taking this guy he looks like the unholy cross between Sam Evans and Steven Tyler!"

* * *

><p>AN: Quick note, thanks to Jellysnack I realized that I never really made Ella and Violet's age difference clear. They are a year and ten months apart. In Glimpse Santana pegs Violet at no older than eight and assumed Ella was a year younger, until she got the evil eye for a while and assumed she was older, the point of that being Boston (now Florida) Santana was guessing and had no idea how old they were. I tried to get the reader to sort that out but it was vague no matter how you slice it. Violet is in fact nine and Ella, as she said, is seven.

Big fat friggin thank you to everyone who has reviewed, no matter how short or long I always appreciate your input!

I am also aware this chapter is pretty short compared to the others. Usually these run about ten pages and this one is just at six. If I had kept the whole chapter as I wrote it, it would have been around eighteen... The good news is the next Ohio chapter will be twelve pages WOOT!


	7. Florida Santana Part 3

**Miami, Florida**

For the first time in her life Santana Lopez was terrified of a door. It was a normal door, a plain slab of wood used to separate the inhabitants of the room from the outside world. At this moment however it was keeping her safe from the people on the other side and to knock would be inviting a world of hurt. But she had to, she had to knock.

Three minutes later she still hadn't done it.

She glanced down at the bracelet that dangled from her wrist and an insanity moved as courage made her lift her hand and knock on the Pierce's hotel door.

For a second she couldn't even believe she had done it, and when she heard shuffling on the other side she almost took off running down the hall and back to the safety of her home, maybe even hide under the bed for good measure.

The door swung open and there before her was the smiling face of Hailey Pierce, until she saw who it was and that smile vanished so swiftly one would have been hard pressed to prove it was ever there, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Hi." Her voice was weak and timid and she forcibly cleared her throat to try and make it stronger, "I um, I'm here to talk to you, well all of you…" when Hailey stared at her she had to rally all of her courage not to back down, "Are your parents here?"

The girl sighed and opened the door wider, Santana stepped in as if she expected an armed ambush, "No they went shopping for a wedding gift for your bullshit wedding. You can stay here until they get back, that should be interesting." She said coolly as she sat in one of the nearby chairs and picked up a magazine.

"Hailey I get you're upset about what happened between me and Brittany but that was a totally different time for both of us. Yes I broke her heart and badly, but you have to remember it was high school."

"Oh my God!" she snapped, slapping the magazine down on the dresser, "This is what pisses me off! You don't even know what it was you fucking did and then you wonder why no one accepts your stupid apologies!"

Santana was taken aback, "I… huh?"

The young blonde ruffled her short hair before she growled in irritation and snatched her magazine back up, "Fuck it never mind."

"No tell me." When Hailey didn't respond she yanked the magazine from her hands knowing that would get a response, it did.

"What is your problem? You want to talk to my parents then wait for them! Stop harassing me!"

"What is it that has everyone so upset if not the breakup?" she asked calmly offering the magazine back.

She snatched it back and threw it on one of the double beds, "You left." She said with a shrug.

Santana frowned, "I left?"

Those words seemed to enrage Hailey all over again, "Yes, you left Santana! You left Brittany and your relationship with her, you left fucking Ohio and you did it without once saying goodbye! To anyone. Not even during your graduation did you have the courtesy to just walk over to us and wave bye! And okay, maybe it was high school and you had your mysterious dark tortured shit to work through, but you didn't send so much as a Birthday card for ten fucking years!" she bellowed.

It was true, after prom she had cut off all contact with Brittany. She did it because she knew talking to the girl would crumble her resolve to leave, but it had been a hard and cruel follow up to a crushing breakup. It had taken so much to bury what she felt for Brittany that the idea of trying to make contact with her or even mutual friends of theirs seemed absurd. Puck was as close as she got to her past and until recently she had kept him at arm's length.

"You're right, about all of that, but Brittany forgave me for it. Trust me I know better than anyone how much I don't deserve it, how I don't deserve her but she has let me back in her life and I want all of you to be a part of that. A happy part."

Hailey's eyes were a lot like her sister's, bright blue and very expressive. When Santana looked into those familiar orbs and saw a glimmer pass through them she knew suddenly what she had missed. That look of hurt and loss was too familiar to her now to not be able to recognize it at a glance.

"Oh Hailey I'm so sorry." She said stepping forward to the other girl who took a hasty step back, "I left you too."

Now that she saw it she could not believe she hadn't got it before. Hailey had been the little sister she never had, the younger girl had followed them everywhere she could and subsequently knew about her relationship with Brittany before even she knew what it really was. Santana had gone to her soccer games and birthday parties, she and Brittany had babysat for her more times than she could even care to count. Hailey had always looked up to her and she knew that, she knew and when she left she didn't give the girl a second glance.

She had always thought of her Ohio self as some sort of alien version of her, someone who was a darker more fucked up version of herself. Whatever mistakes she had made it was a slight comfort to know she wasn't as bad as that other woman who had cheated on her wife all while ruining her relationship with her daughter in the process. However, for the first time since she had returned from that reality she felt that she was just bad as that woman.

"I don't care, whatever I'm over it." Hailey growled trying to storm past Santana who blocked her path.

"No you have every reason to be pissed, I would be too." She paused because she didn't know how to word her thoughts without coming off insane, "When I left it was about me and it was totally selfish. I was scared of a life with Brittany and the only way I felt I could escape it was to drop everything, run away and never look back. And I know I made it look easy, like I could flip a switch and suddenly not care, but it wasn't like that at all. I left to run away from who I was, but in the end I could only pretend and I did. I couldn't be Santana from Ohio because that woman was gay and totally in love with a beautiful blonde that she missed so much she couldn't breathe. So I buried her and every person she ever cared about so I could be normal straight Santana from Boston who lived the good life doing as she pleased, but I could only be her if I didn't let myself think. If I did I would remember what I had to lose to get to where I was, I exhausted myself trying not to think of Brittany or you or Ohio in general. But one day… I had a dream and it was of the life I could have had if I had stayed, and it wasn't just about Brittany it was about you, your parents, Puck and Quinn, my mom, everyone. Everyone I had cut from myself to move on and when I woke up I realized how badly I wanted that dream to be real. I want it to come true and that includes the part where we are friends and can talk and laugh together, where you want me around and are happy for me and Britt."

Hailey played with an errant strand of hair to distract herself from the intense look Santana was giving her, "Sounds like some dream."

"It was. I know forgiveness is a big word right now, but I really want to work towards it."

"Yeah I guess we could do that or something." She replied noncommittally looking over at the window that overlooked the city.

Santana moved forward and before Hailey could yank away she pulled her into a hug, "I really am sorry. I wasn't thinking and I messed up so much in my life. I never meant to hurt you and even if you never find it in you to forgive me please know you have always been my little sister."

At first Hailey pulled against her but as the words sunk in she relaxed and eventually returned the embrace. It started hesitantly and became tight and binding as the girl held her close, and though her ribs felt like they might be at their limit Santana was at peace for that brief moment.

"I missed you." Hailey mumbled breaking their hug suddenly and plopping herself on the bed as if she hadn't said anything.

Santana smiled and sat next to her, "I missed you too." She said just as quietly and looked anxiously at the door, "Think your dad might shoot me if he catches me in here?"

Hailey laughed, "I wouldn't put it past him."

She sighed, trying to ready herself for the next emotional hurdle she would have to cross, she wasn't ready, not even close, but she had to try.

"You wouldn't happen to know if either of your parents have a particular obvious grievance with me that I'm too dense to see would you?"

She grinned, "No, mom's mad Brittany never really let you go, and dad… he's mad about all of it."

"All of what? The breakup and the leaving is pretty much all there is."

Hailey turned to her diffidently, "Did you know Brittany was engaged before?" Santana gaped at her as an answer and Hailey shook her head, "I didn't think so. It was about two years after you left and she started dating this guy, Theodore something or other and they were together for about three years before he asked her to marry him. He got our whole family together with his, called in all their friends and had this huge dinner for her and at the end of night he proposed. He makes a big speech and Brittany listens to his whole spiel about how much she means to him and how their love has grown yaddayadda and then he pops the question. She just looks at the ring, shrugs and tells him she has to think about it. He was totally mortified, but handled it like a champ. Anyway about a week later Brittany accepts and everything seems okay, they have a date, the invitations were sent out, Brittany seemed happy so I was cool and mom and dad loved the guy. Then about a week before he calls the whole thing off…"

"Wait _he_ called it off?"

She nodded, "Yep. I don't really know what happened cause I wasn't there and Brittany has never been too interested in talking about it, but apparently he already knew about you and what had happened from the start. But when they were about to get married, I don't know I think he tried to put her on the spot about whether she really wanted him or you. After that I think dad would have sent an assassin after you if he thought it would make her forget you."

"She never mentioned that." Santana said still feeling stunned.

"I think it's because it wasn't that big a deal to her, she dated other people that she forgot about just as quickly. It wasn't an issue to her when he called it off, she said she understood his feelings and was sorry she couldn't be what he wanted. He was way more upset and my dad was worse than that, but she went on like it didn't matter."

"I never even asked." It was said more to herself than Hailey.

Brittany had mentioned dating other people and even before she had come to Florida to find her Santana assumed she had seen other people in their time apart, but an engagement was a pretty major thing to leave out.

Hailey sat, deep in thought for a moment then shook her head, "You know what? You should go."

"No, I told Brittany I would talk to all of you and I will."

"Seriously I was being an asshole before by letting you in, trying to talk to them now is a terrible idea. Let me try first. Come back tomorrow and I'll make sure that they are at least in the mood to listen."

Santana hesitated, but she couldn't deny the idea of getting some help was incredibly appealing, "Alright, and they'll be in?"

"After five they'll be here watching _Judge Judy_ like proper old farts." She joked.

Smiling she looked into those familiar blue eyes, "Thank you." She put as much meaning as she could into the words.

"Whatever no big deal." She sighed as if she was bored with all the affection, but she was grinning despite herself.

* * *

><p>The whole way home Santana was lost in thought about what Hailey had told her, she told herself it wasn't a big deal and that it didn't matter, however she had always pictured Brittany's past without her as this black vast space of mystery, but one that didn't need to be solved. However now, for the first time, she wanted to shed light on it. Before making the final turn home she decided that it truly wasn't a big deal, but since it was bugging her she would go and talk to Brittany about it directly before she made it into something.<p>

Once she arrived she went directly inside and marched into the basement where she knew her fiancée would be busy practicing her routines. As expected she was there stretching, her head was turned away from the door and earbuds playing just loud enough for her to hear, so Santana knew she was unaware of her presence. She was about to take a step forward and announce herself but froze, it would seem a bit accusatory and crazy to bust in on her and demand to know about a man from several years past. Deciding it could wait until the blonde was at least done dancing she turned to leave, unfortunately it was too late. Brittany spotted her and leapt off the floor, rushing to her side.

"They didn't do anything too bad did they?" she asked looking her over as if her parents might have left a visible mark on her.

She shook her head, "They weren't even in, I talked to Hailey though and I think we worked things out. I'll go back tomorrow and talk to your mom and dad then."

"Not without me." She said as that suborn look came over her features again.

"Britt…"

"Don't even try it, I was so worried about you when you left. I was mad at myself all day for agreeing to let you go alone. You aren't going to make me go through that again tomorrow, I'm going with you."

Santana could see that resistance would do her no good, she could only hope that Hailey's presence may help counteract Brittany's, "Alright."

Brittany nodded in triumph, "Good, that's settled. Now you can tell me what's bothering you, and don't even pretend it's nothing because I know you didn't come down here to tell me about talking to Hailey."

Sometimes having someone know you inside and out wasn't all it was cracked up to be, "I just wanted to watch you stre-OW!" she blared as Brittany flicked her nose with a disapproving frown.

"Stop lying. What's wrong?"

Taking a huge step back she continued, "It really isn't an issue but I was wondering why you never told me about Theodore."

She stood looking confused, "Who?"

"The guy you were engaged to?" Santana clarified wondering how she could forget the man so completely.

Then recognition took over, "Oh you mean Teddy."

"I guess…"

"No one called him that, it was either Teddy or Ted."

"Which is better than Theodore how?"

She shrugged, "It's what he liked to be called."

"Okay whatever, so why didn't you tell me about him?"

"There was nothing to tell. We were engaged for a little bit, but it wasn't even as serious as all that."

"You don't think engagements are serious?" Santana asked with her eyebrows raised.

"Don't be silly of course I do but he… we were sort of just together you know? We dated and he never gave me a reason to break up with him. He thought we were becoming this big item and naturally he wanted to get married, but I felt exactly the same about him as when we first met."

"So why did you agree?"

Another shrug came, "I didn't see myself ending up any happier than I was with Teddy. He was nice and he really loved me. It did make me feel a little bad, but he knew how I felt."

"Why did he break it off?"

She looked sadly at Santana, "He asked me if there was any way in the world that there would be a time where I could love him half as much as I love you. I always felt that in return for all the love he gave me I would give him honesty and that's what he got."

"I want to say I'm sorry about that but I'm not." Santana said.

"Me either, it would have ended badly anyway. I didn't want kids with him but that seemed to be all he ever talked about after we got engaged."

Santana felt the bottom drop out of her world, "Oh." Was all she could say.

Before Brittany could see the sadness in her eyes the doorbell rang and Santana sprinted for it like someone lit a fire under her. Desperate for a distraction she yanked the door open without looking through the peep hole which led to her getting pulled into the embrace of a taller woman. She would have pitched a fit about being yanked face first into a bosom that wasn't Brittany's, but her temper was quelled because she immediately recognized her assailant.

"I never thought I'd see the day. My baby, getting married." Carla sighed contentedly while continuing to hold Santana's face to her chest.

Santana scrambled out of the hold leaving her hair a total mess and backed away from another potential assault of affection, "Hi mom come on in." she sighed, unable to keep from smiling at her mother's excitement.

Carla hadn't been exactly thrilled when Santana had told her about Brittany, though the older woman was hardly surprised. She had accepted their relationship and was tentatively supportive. However when marriage was mentioned she was suddenly 100% on board with the whole thing and Brittany had overnight become her favorite human being on the planet. She fawned on her like she was the pope and if Santana hadn't been so pleased with her mother's change of heart she would have been jealous.

"Where is my daughter-in-law?" she asked looking around as if Brittany were hiding around a corner waiting to pop out and surprise her.

"She was getting warmed up in the basement last time I saw her. She'll probably be up in a minute. I'm fine by the way." She said faking irritation.

An act her mother saw straight through, "Oh please Santana I ask how you are and all I'll get is 'Fine.' I need a proper update."

She laughed, "So you have to ask Brittany about me?"

"If I want details. There she is!" Carla exclaimed as the blonde appeared in the foyer.

"Carla! You didn't tell me you were coming so soon, we could have picked you up from the airport!" she exclaimed as they embraced excitedly.

"Nonsense I know how to call a taxi." She said moving to the living room pulling Brittany after her, Santana trailed behind knowing that she was at the bottom of the chain of command in the house at the moment and accepting it.

Carla sat in the loveseat and Santana perched herself next to Brittany and leaned contentedly against her knowing she would not be needed in the upcoming conversation. Instead she focused all her thinking power on coming up with ways to convince Brittany that expanding their family would be a good thing.

"Where are you staying?" Brittany asked as soon as Carla had settled into her seat.

She waved her hand dismissively, "Some hotel, it's nice enough and not important. I need to know what I can help you with. What's left to do before the wedding?"

Brittany grinned, "Nothing much, Santana hired a wedding planner and she knew exactly what I was going for so we didn't have to do a lot of back and forth. Everyone's already RSVP'd and the caterers are all on schedule, the only thing really left is our dresses."

"You haven't picked your wedding dresses?"

Santana had been resting against Brittany's shoulder with her eyes closed, but she knew before she even opened them that her mother blamed her for this and was currently glaring. She cracked an eye open and found she was right.

"We aren't going to do the traditional wedding dress thing mom it's not that big a deal." She sighed closing her eyes again and snuggling further into Brittany's side.

"It is! These are the dresses you will wear in the wedding pictures you will be showing my grandchildren!"

That word made Santana's heart skip about four beats and she turned her face further into Brittany's shoulder when she spoke as if to make the words too hard for herself to hear, "Britt doesn't want any kids mom."

To her surprise it was Brittany who responded, "When did I say that?"

Confused she sat bolt upright, "You did. Like five minutes ago."

"I said Ted wanted kids and I didn't want to have any with _him_."

Santana stared into her eyes reviewing their brief exchange, checking and double checking what she had heard to make sure it meant what she thought it did. Everything checked out but she still had to ask.

"So you _do_ want to have kids?"

"With you I do." Her words were said lightly and with a smile that made Santana feel like she might be flying.

Without any warning she pulled Brittany close and kissed her fiercely, not having the words to express her joy but needing to let her fiancée know how happy she had just made her.

Carla sat watching them with a blank expression, "Who is Ted?" when Santana waved her away distractedly never breaking the kiss her mother only laughed, "So I can expect these grandchildren soon I see."

Brittany turned to address Carla but Santana just turned her attentions to the other woman's now exposed neck, "Not too soon, the theater is going to put on a performance of _Cats_ that I'm going to be in, so I want to do that first before we start planning for children."

"I see, that's sensible. Now back to these dresses that need to be decided on now or else when the little ones get here they will see you both in last minute purchases from Ross and that won't do."

"I know where I want to get them from. There's a shop around the corner from the studio, they are privately OHned!" Brittany yipped the last word and suddenly Santana was the center of attention.

She had been lost in her own little world since both Brittany and her mother had moved on in the conversation. Left alone and unsupervised her hands had done a bit of wandering and as she realized she was now being watched she removed them quickly from underneath Brittany's bra, an embarrassed blush coloring her face.

Carla shook her head slowly, "It's a good thing you are finally making an honest woman out of this one. I had honestly given up hope." When the two women looked at each other like they might pick up where Santana had left off she rolled her eyes dramatically, "Come on get your things girls, we are going to go look at this shop. I am not going back to my hotel until you both have picked at least a color and a style."

* * *

><p>The store Brittany took them to was owned by an elderly couple who had apparently decided that in order to make it in a corporate run business world they would have to make clothes covering every possible fashion, style and age group known to man and a few that weren't. There were normal clothes, shirts, shoes and dresses, formal and otherwise, of course that wasn't where Brittany was browsing. She was deep in what looked like the punk rock hippie section. Even now she could see the little old man bent over a sewing station putting together what looked like a studded corduroy cardigan.<p>

Santana wandered over to the far side of the store that had a rack of nice looking ankle length dresses, there was one that was a pale lavender and she couldn't help, but think of Violet and wonder where in the hell Brittany had gotten the idea to name her purple. After some consideration she took the dress and pressed it against her chest checking how she might look in it in a nearby mirror. It was simple but still interesting, there were small lace flowers running along the seams and one small line of them that ran diagonally down the front. In the center of each of the flowers were small sky blue rhinestones that matched the beads on her bracelet. When she looked at it she thought of the children she wanted, the children she would have with Brittany, and she smiled at herself.

"Oh Santana you would look beautiful in that!" came her mother's voice from behind.

Carla approached and began the mother's task of instructing her to try it on and quizzing her on the fit, after spinning around in enough circles to make her dizzy her mother allowed her to change back into her normal clothes. Santana returned the dress to where she had found it but her mother complained, telling her it was without a doubt the one she should choose.

"Mom are you serious? I like it too but you know it's not exactly the best of the best, besides you don't dress shop and pick the first thing you see. There are other dresses in this store and a million more stores, like real dress stores."

Carla seemed bored with her daughter's argument before it even began, "Brittany likes this one and we both know if she wants to get something from here she will."

Santana froze at that, "Is… is that your round about way of calling me whipped?"

"I don't do anything in a round about way, but you are whipped and she will buy her dress from here because you don't know how to tell her no. It isn't even a bad thing, the girl has more style than you anyway. Don't think I have forgotten your striped dresses and animal print fur vests."

"I looked hot." She huffed.

"You looked like you dressed yourself in the dark from a lost and found drawer."

"Brittany liked my clothes."

"I liked them better on the floor." Said a voice from behind her as strong arms wrapped around her waist.

"TMI Britt!" Santana hissed.

Carla scoffed, "This from Miss Hands Under the Shirt?"

"Soon to be Mrs. Hands Under the Shirt." Brittany laughed.

"Why does everyone pick on me?" Grumbled Santana.

"Because you are adorable when you're grumpy."

"I do it because you are ridiculous." Her mother said and then turned to Brittany, "Did you decide?"

Brittany nodded, "Already got it."

Santana's eyes widened, "What? When did you pick one?"

"While you were trying on yours."

"But… I mean you don't have to buy the first thing you came across. There are other shops and…"

Brittany cut her off with a quick kiss on the cheek, "We can still visit other places if you don't see anything you like here."

"Can I see what you got?"

She laughed at that, "No way, no peaking before the wedding."

That didn't bode well, "Mom did you see it?"

"Of course." She said unhelpfully as she began to idly look through the other dresses that hung nearby.

Pulling herself from Brittany's embrace she turned to the other two women, "Alright well can't do wedding dress shopping with only one store and one dress so we are going to have to make some other stops."

Her mother sighed looking knowingly at Brittany, "I told her the dress she tried on is perfect for her and now she is going to be stubborn and insist she look at others."

"I'm right here." Santana drawled.

"I know." Carla replied looking at her levelly.

"Which one?" Brittany asked looking around for the dress.

"No, not before the wedding."

"I never said I was picking that one!" Santana bristled.

"Fine. Let's go, lead the way Santana, show me to the perfect dress."

They left the small shop and visited almost every bridal shop in Miami, a feat only accomplished by throwing down unnecessarily large sums of money to get in without an appointment only to find that there was nothing to suit her tastes. She stalled and claimed it was because she needed to know what Brittany was wearing, but her mother didn't even look partially convinced of that. They tried malls, regular dress shops and even other small privately owned stores, but by the time their hunt had ended and all the shops were beginning to close Santana still hadn't found anything that fit as well or looked as good as the lavender dress at the odd little mom and pop store. However she wasn't a quitter and after at least satisfying her mother that she at least knew what it was she was looking for and _would_ find it before her wedding day, she was able to get her to return to her hotel, though the smug 'I Told You So' grin never left her face.

When Santana lay next to Brittany in bed that night she marveled at two things; how via her inbred stubbornness she was able to make selecting a dress she liked a big issue and how best to defend her title as Miss Hands Under the Shirt when clearly Brittany was contending for it at that very moment.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks for the reviews thus far and please keep em coming.


	8. Florida Santana Part 4

**Miami, Florida**

"Britt?" Santana questioned as she sat on the edge of their bed wrapped in bed sheets watching her dress.

"Yeah?"

"How did you know which dress you wanted so quickly?" She hoped to get some sort of hint as to what she should look for when continuing her search.

"I cheated." She said turning with a twinkle in her eye before she slipped her shirt on much to Santana's disappointment.

Shaking her head to clear it she brought her gaze back up from Brittany's now covered chest, "How?"

"I sort of already went there and picked out the one I wanted before yesterday."

"When?" she asked incredulously.

She walked over to the dresser thinking, "Um, about the time you asked me to move in with you."

Santana gaped at her, "You… you knew I was going to ask you then?"

"No, but I hoped. I used to go all the time to look at their new stuff and I saw it there and I knew I'd wear it if you ever asked me."

"Well when you picked it how did you know it was the one?"

"When I tried it on it made me smile."

Santana frowned, "I'm screwed then, mom's going to win and she'll rub it in until her arm gets tired and then switch hands."

Brittany laughed and came over to give her a calming kiss on the head, "Honey if you liked the dress you saw get it."

"But then the enemy wins!" she shouted dramatically flopping back on the bed.

"I'm sure you'll look lovely." Brittany pulled on her jeans and put her hair up in a quick ponytail before she crawled over to Santana's sprawled out form and gave her a much more demanding kiss, "I'm going to be back before five and if you try to slip off without me you will spend your honeymoon alone on a couch. Wait until I come back, promise?"

Santana had indeed planned to try and sneak off to the Pierce's hotel before Brittany returned but there was no way in hell she was spending her wedding night alone, "I promise." She sighed.

"Good." she planted another sound kiss on Santana that quickly escalated as the sheets covering the smaller woman fell away and soon she was in danger of being as naked as when she had started, but in a dazzling show of self restraint she leapt off the bed and stood up.

"I have to go. Be good and wait for me." She warned as she backed out the door.

Santana watched her leave knowing that doing so without a stitch of clothing was making it incredibly hard for the other woman to go. Finally Brittany was able to tear herself away and left Santana alone in their large house to try and figure out what to do with herself for the next several hours. There was plenty of work to do, but her nerves about meeting with Brittany's parents _with_ Brittany meant that it would be pointless to try. Instead she slipped into her comfy house lounging clothes, sat back on the bed and picked up the phone to call the only person she knew to call besides Brittany when she was feeling worried.

"You got Puck." Was what came across the line after three rings.

"Please tell me that isn't how you answer your phone now."

"Don't hate. What's up?"

"I…" she stopped because she realized that first she really didn't want to talk about the Pierce debacle and second, Puck was literally the worst person on the planet to take any sort of etiquette or parent themed relationship advice from, "Just wondering how you and Quinn were getting along."

"Really? You woke up first thing in the morning and called to see about me and Quinn." He said.

Though Puck knew her well, he was no Brittany plus Santana could read him just as easily, "Not so great then since you didn't launch into a sex story then."

"It's like she found the chastity belt from the fucking Celibacy Club and upgraded it with dead bolts!" he whined.

"Then stop trying to break in. The more she sees you trying to get into her pants the more she'll want you to back off and I don't blame her, you're acting like an ass."

"But it's been months!"

"You won't die, use your hands if it gets too bad or use this as an opportunity to learn to go without."

He scoffed, "Oh? And how long did you wait after getting back together with Miss Pierce before you guys were back doing the horizontal tango?"

_Almost a whole week,_ "Not even close to relevant!"

"And I bet you got some last night, so don't lecture me on holding out."

"You aren't going to give up are you?" she asked suddenly serious.

"What? No friggin way! Do you know how much time and money I have invested into that woman? It's too late to go back now… and you know I really like her and stuff." He added like it wasn't relevant, but Santana understood that to be the real reason.

"Glad to hear it. So when are you two coming down for the wedding?"

"We aren't taking the same flights. Since the wedding is happening so fast after we left Quinn can only come out on the day of so she'll practically have hit the tarmac in her bridesmaids dress, but I think she can pull it off. I'll be out day after tomorrow so we can hang. I can even get a little impromptu bachelorette party hooked up."

"No!" she snapped a little too forcefully, "I mean no thank you, I'm not interested in looking at anyone but my fiancée and you should keep in mind that Quinn wouldn't be thrilled about you visiting a strip club."

"Aw come on Santana this is a once in a lifetime thing, I see you and her together forever so this is our only chance."

"Don't want it."

"Fine." He said sounding like a pouting child.

"Hey Puck? Have you ever, you know, thought about moving? I mean you are always up north and it would be pretty cool if we were closer together. Not to go to strip clubs, but to just hang out." She said feeling glad he couldn't see the way she was nervously drawing patterns on the sheets.

"I had actually, since most of my gigs are popping up down there. But, well Quinn's up here…"

She got the feeling that he was making equally fidgety motions with his hands, "Bring her with you."

He laughed hard at that, "I can barely get this woman to kiss me goodnight! Tell me how to convince her to pack up and move across the country with me and I'll move into the house of your choosing."

"I just wish you were closer, both of you." She said quietly.

"I miss you too chica, I'll be down soon so don't fret."

She took a deep breath to keep the sadness out of her voice, "Yeah and then I can coach you on your game with women because you are batting zero."

* * *

><p>After her talk with Puck, Santana had set out in a last ditch campaign to search every store in between Miami and Fort Lauderdale for a dress that was even passable. That proved fruitless and she wondered if her mother had played some sort of mind game to make her unable to find any other dress but that one acceptable. It didn't take long for five to arrive and when she returned home she was met with the sight of Brittany descending the stairs of the porch and approaching the car.<p>

She climbed in before Santana could even pull all the way into the driveway, "We're going now, I want to get this over with and I don't want you trying to talk me out of going."

"Can you promise to let me do the talking?"

Brittany buckled her seatbelt and folded her arms, "I can promise to try but I don't know what I'll do if they start talking badly about you."

Santana sighed as she put the car in reverse and made her way to the hotel praying that it wouldn't go as poorly as she was sure it would.

They arrived around five thirty and Santana took extra time looking for a parking space as her mind raced to find the right words to say, but she kept drawing a blank. She had already covered 'I'm sorry please forgive me' what else was there?

After finally parking she got out of the car and walked slowly to the door that still remained the only one in the world that terrified her. It seemed like seconds had passed between her exiting the car and standing in front of the wooden slab, even though she recalled dragging her feet the whole way in. She wanted to try and wait by the door for a moment but Brittany, ready to move on with her day, knocked heavily on the door.

At the sound, Santana felt the familiar wash of fear covering from head to toe. Even though it was a tremendous amount of pressure to try and pull off a reconciliation with Brittany there she couldn't help but also feel comforted by her presence. Enough so that when the door finally opened she pressed into her side a little.

Faith had opened the door and upon seeing Santana her blue eyes turned ice cold, "Come in." she said.

Surprised, she and Brittany crossed the threshold to find Richard reclined on the bed fixedly watching _Judge Judy _as had been predicted and Hailey was sitting at the desk by the window on her laptop typing swiftly. She smiled slightly when she saw them enter, Richard however kept his eyes on the television.

"Afternoon." Santana said, wanting to pat herself on the back for not sounding as scared as she was.

Faith practically rolled her eyes and moved into the kitchenette, Richard grunted but didn't look up. Santana could feel Brittany tense next to her and knew she better do something or this would get out of hand fast. She twirled the beads of her bracelet for luck and took a bold step forward, she planned to open with how sorry she was and how much she regretted the past, she had said it before but she needed her remorse to be fresh in their minds. Then she would tell them how devoted to their daughter she was and beg their forgiveness, and if all else failed she was prepared to move to groveling. However before the first word could leave her lips the television was shut off and Richard turned towards her.

"You're marrying my daughter." He said gruffly as if the words tasted bad on his lips, "I can't say I like it but there is nothing I can do about it. You left a big mess when you left and I _suppose_ it is rather big of you to come back at all, let alone to try and fix it." He sat up and moved to the edge of the bed giving her his full attention, "Hailey tells me that you want us to be a big happy family, well I don't know about that, but I can be civil. Faith and I can tolerate you being around, I'm getting too old to carry around decade old grudges anyway."

Santana smiled, nodding before she could find her voice. Hailey was her hero, that was so much more than she could have ever hoped for. This time she prepared to thank him profusely and to tell him how she would work tirelessly to improve their relationship, how she would do right by Brittany and how she would show them all she was someone they could be proud was married to their daughter… but again she was prevented from all that when Brittany's voice cut across the room.

"No." she said, her voice was low and the word was full of indignation, Santana tried to prevent Brittany from destroying the shaky truce they had built but the taller woman sensed her intentions and silenced her with a sharp look.

"What?" Richard said looking totally confused.

"No. That isn't good enough. I don't want you coming over on holidays to leave Santana to be _tolerated_ in her own house. You don't get to do that to her and act like it's done in my honor. I love her, I am going to marry her and I am going to have a family with her, one that does not need you in it if you are going to treat her like a dog that ate your favorite shoes. Both of you need to stop it." She finished, aiming her last sentence at Faith who had been looking at Santana with nothing but contempt.

Richard collected himself for a second before replying, "Brittany you seem to not understand what it's like for a parent to…"

"I don't care. Whatever point you are trying to make I just do not care, we have been over and over this and I'm tired of it. If you can't actually be happy for us you may as well go home because I don't want you glaring down the aisle at us."

At that Faith spoke up, "Brittany where do you get off even talking to us like this?"

Santana was starting to freak out because the situation was sprinting farther south with every word, "I don't think…" she tried before Richard cut across her with a 'You say out of this!'

The room froze in that instant and Santana knew it was over, she could feel Brittany about to unleash hell next to her and Richard was already pushing himself into a standing position. All she could do was stand there and wait for the bomb to go off, but right before the room exploded into argument another voice beat them too it.

"Everybody chill the fuck out!" Hailey yelled, the volume gave Brittany pause and the profanity halted Faith and Richard. Having gotten the required response she plowed on before anyone could interrupt, "Mom, dad you need to let it go. I was mad too, you know that, but it's over. Santana's here now and hating her is only hurting Brittany which is the _very_ thing you're all pissed at Santana about in the first place. Accept her apology and move on, you aren't changing the past by dumping on her you're just making sure you lose all the good things that are going to come in their future."

When Hailey had finished the room was deathly silent, Richard and Faith exchanged a look and Brittany watched them warily. Clearly ready to pick up their argument where it left off.

Richard walked over to Brittany and that same stubborn look was on his face as he stared into her eyes, "Are you sure you want to do this? With her? Are you one hundred percent sure that what happened won't happen again?"

"Yes." She said it with surety and conviction that made Santana fidget uncomfortably because she knew it wasn't true, somewhere inside Brittany's head was a part that was just as unsure as her father.

He stared at her again for a long moment and then his face relaxed slightly, "Then I have to be happy for you." He said and turned to Santana who had to actually restrain herself from jerking back, "Take care of her."

For the first time when he addressed her there was none of that burning hatred, instead there was an earnest pleading in his words for her not to do what he felt so sure she was going to again.

"Yes sir." She said immediately.

He put his hands on his hips and looked at the floor as if he was trying to catch his breath after a long run, a deep frown on his features. Santana knew he was trying to force himself to let go of his anger, and that was a bitter pill to swallow.

After a long moment he patted her gently on the shoulder before turning away, "Just Richard is fine." He grumbled over his shoulder.

Brittany's eyes went to her mother who was leaning against the counter watching the exchange, when her daughters gaze landed on her she shrugged, "You don't leave me any choice, I'm not about to miss my child's wedding. So if you need happy, happy is what you get." She turned to Santana with a smile that was soft and pleasant. It was also fake, but Santana only knew that from years of having known Brittany, the two women were remarkably alike in their mannerisms. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No thank you." Santana said shuffling her feet not knowing what to do with herself now that their pressing matter had been settled.

Thankfully Hailey had mercy on her and asked for her help on the paper she was writing, Santana knew nothing about 16th century art and less about the painters who created the work but she readily agreed because it got her out of the awkward situation she was drowning in.

"Have you eaten anything?" Faith had asked the question to both of them but looked to Brittany for the answer since she was closest.

"I haven't, I am a little hungry." Brittany said, her tone was pleasant but vigilant.

"We'll just have to fix that." Faith turned and began preparing food from the mini fridge.

Santana was starting to feel a little post traumatic stress at the idea of eating with the family again, but when a warm plate of food was placed in front of her without a side order of dirty looks she felt a little better. She and Brittany ate and actually talked pleasantly with her family about the wedding. The Pierces were calm and polite but Faith was cordial in the way one might be with a total stranger, everything she said and did was with such formality an outsider would wonder if the two had ever met before. Santana suspected she would have started calling her Miss Lopez if she thought Brittany would let her get away with it. However she was never anything less that pleasant and for that Santana had to be thankful. At least it was better than Richard, the man had the look of someone who had lost something dear and was trying to put on a brave face, he looked sad and defeated and whenever his eyes found Brittany it was with something akin to pity, but like Faith he was never once rude. If Brittany noticed their strained behavior she didn't comment, but she did keep close to Santana's side the entire night.

When they finally left, Santana was able to breathe out all the tension that had gathered in her, without the threat of verbal disembowelment looming she was able to take in how nice the hotel was and be aggravated about how far she had parked from the door. She felt unstoppable, like she could deflect bullets with the power of her awesome because she had just come out of that tempest alive. That was why she was a little shocked when she got in the car to find Brittany frowning deep in serious thought.

"What's that face for? That went great!" her voice exuberant as if to punctuate the point.

"They're still mad." Brittany said looking out the window at the hotel.

Santana sighed and sank into her seat, "Yes they are, but come on it's too much to expect them to have a change of heart just like that. Give them some time to think it all over. They already gave me more than I could have hoped for."

Her eyes moved to the dashboard, "I still don't like it."

Grabbing both of the other woman's hands, Santana pulled them to herself gaining Brittany's undivided attention, "Baby I know you want them to love me and I want that too, but they can't help how they feel they can only help how they act and they were very nice to me back there when they didn't have to be."

When she nodded her agreement Santana leaned back in her seat and started the car, her mood dampened by the sullen looking blonde. Unwilling to leave her looking so unhappy she cast a sidelong look at her.

"Dinner was great but I could sure go for some ice cream. What about you?"

"Santana you can't distract me from being upset with my parents with ice cream." She sighed heavily, but when the brunette nodded and turned her attention back to the road she added, "But yeah I do want some."

Smiling, Santana began to change lanes to get to the nearest Baskin Robins and as she did so Brittany couldn't help but smile too.

* * *

><p>AN: The bad news: This chapter is short. The good news: The next chapter is already done. I'm sleepy and I have work in a couple of hours (I survive on naps if you haven't guessed) but I'll post tomorrow either between job 1 and 2 or 2 and 3. And no worries I don't work myself into the ground I swear I eat and sleep like a normal person, just not when and how a normal person does XP

As always thanks for reading and please review


	9. Ohio Santana Part 5

**Lima, Ohio**

Santana realized that there was a lot to being an adult, that it was more than the number of years one had been on earth, but she felt it was safe to say she was one. Yet whenever she was around her mother, somehow she couldn't pass the teenage marker.

"And don't forget to pack an overnight bag in case she goes into labor." Carla said, it was about her hundredth 'helpful' tip in the ten minutes she had actually been in the house.

"Mom this is my _third_ child, I know what I'm doing." She growled.

"Oh listen to little Tana, she has a couple of children and suddenly mom is in the way. You weren't so quick to dismiss my advice when Brittany went into labor with Violet."

Santana slapped a hand on her face and dragged it down, "Mom that was years ago and after Ella I think I pretty much got it under control. We are just going out for while, we'll be back in a few hours, if anything happens I know how to get to the hospital. Besides the baby isn't due for three more weeks." She said trying to hurry and finish packing the last of the necessities for the trip.

"The baby isn't due for three weeks she says! Look who's talking! You came strolling out a whole month and a half early and have been giving me lip ever since that day."

Dramatics were her mother's strong suit and the only thing worse than Carla on a rant was Carla on a rant with an audience.

"Did you really come early momma?" Violet asked.

Santana squeezed her eyes shut and sighed heavily, _And here is the audience._

"Yes, mija she was an early baby and the doctors said she was under developed, but they must not have meant her lungs because she could scream like a banshee, and she did it all day every day until we took her home."

"Was I an early baby?" Ella asked having appeared from the living room at all the commotion in the kitchen.

Santana packed faster, this could only get worse with more children in the room, "Neither of you were early." She answered over her shoulder as she began to put away all the dishes and condiments she no longer needed.

"Did I scream a lot when I was born?" Violet asked.

"Nope, quiet as a mouse. Alright I'm off guys, love you." She said leaning in for a quick kiss to both her daughters.

Ella waved, "Bye Santana, I mean…" her voice trailed into embarrassed obscurity and Violet gave her a bewildered look as if she could not possibly grasp what Ella's issue was.

Santana paused and pulled her close in a one armed hug, "It's okay sweetie I know what you meant." She whispered to the girl. Ella nodded still looking frustrated with herself.

She stood and collected the large container she had been filling from the table, "Everyone wished mom a happy anniversary right?"

"Yup!" Violet chirped.

Ella nodded again as if she didn't trust herself to answer verbally.

Her mother helpfully grabbed Santana's purse and keys and placed them on the large container before she said, "You should bring a hot water bottle, her back will get sore if she has to sit up too long."

"Mom! I got it!"

Carla raised her hands in defeat, "Alright, go enjoy your date I have the girls. Happy anniversary."

"Thank you." She sighed and gave her mother a quick hug and a kiss and dashed out the door before she could be told to do anything else she didn't need to know.

Brittany was already in the car waiting when Santana loaded her cargo in the trunk and hopped in the driver's seat.

"You really aren't going to tell me where we are going are you?"

"Nope." She grinned at the pout that answer earned her, "You'll love it though, I promise."

"It's not somewhere public is it? Because you know how I feel about crowds right now."

"Yes I know. No it isn't public, and even if it was you would have nothing to be ashamed of because you are just as beautiful as the day I met you."

"Maybe, but about a hundred pounds heavier."

"Oh stop it. You're just fishing for compliments now because you know I'm right."

Brittany had to smile at the flattery, "If you say so."

"I do so that's final."

They reached a red light and Brittany waited a whole three seconds before she said, "Please tell me where we are going."

Santana turned to her and leaned over the center console to give her a gentle kiss, after she looked deep into her wife's sapphire eyes, "Nope it's a surprise."

That earned her a slap on the arm, "You're a jerk!"

At that she just laughed and waited on the light to take them to their destination.

It took almost a half hour, they had to stop twice for Brittany to use a restroom, and by the time they got close the blonde was almost asleep in her seat, but when she saw the trees begin to surround the car her face lit up in recognition.

"We aren't… Santana this is… how did you even find it again?"

She shrugged, "An anniversary miracle?"

* * *

><p><em>Brittany groaned as Santana pressed up against her in the darkened stairway of Puck's basement. The party raging just above their heads swallowing all the sounds they were making. The brunette trailed bruising kisses from the blonde's neck to her collarbone and upon meeting the barrier of her tank top began to remove it only to have two strong hands still her.<em>

_"We can't Santana." Brittany said, her face deadly serious._

_"What? Wheels is okay with some spare hickeys as long as they're above the neckline?"_

_"You know that wasn't all you were going to do." _

_Santana sighed and leaned back, a scowl on her face, "So? Britt it isn't the first time we've done this."_

_"I know and I don't want to anymore."_

_There was a long moment when all that could be heard was the pounding music from the floor above, "What?"_

_"I told you sex is better with feelings, but you never have any when we are together and I don't want to keep sneaking around with you if you don't even care."_

_Her mouth fell open, "Wha… Brittany I told you my fucking feelings and you threw them back in my face!"_

_"I did not! I told you I love you too." _

_At the word love, Santana's eyes dropped to the floor, "Whatever, we both shared stuff and you still went home with Christopher Reeve."_

_Brittany frowned, "I broke up with Chris in middle school."_

_"No..he's a… nevermind, the point is you are the one who brings up how great feelings are and when I open up to you, you just look at all I have to give and go 'Oh that's nice' and shuffle off to fuck a kid who can only fuck you back if you tie a pulley system to his pelvis. So excuse me if I'm a little confused by your irritation at my lack of emotion!" she snapped angrily, "It was a mistake to say anything in the first place we worked better the way we were before all the feeling shit got involved."_

_A frown creased Brittany's face as she went deep in thought, her point wasn't coming across as she'd meant it and she needed to be understood, "I think that if you love me then you love me and if you're having sex with me you should be able to show it."_

_"So you want me to open up to you again so you can watch me squirm?" she scoffed._

_"I want you to show me all the love you say you have for me. Artie shows me how much he loves me all the time, you mainly say hurtful things if I start talking about us being together." She stated, her face not betraying how she felt about that._

_"I do stuff for you all the time!"_

_"You're nice to me and I know not everyone gets that from you, but I also know that isn't you showing the love you talked about at the lockers."_

_She couldn't argue that so she looked at her shoes, "Britt me showing you how I feel, that's totally different from Artie. It's okay if he does it, everyone expects him to kiss you and hold your hand. If I did it…"_

_"I'm not even talking about in public, I'm talking about you making love to me."_

_The dark face became several shades paler, "Uh… wait what?"_

_"I'm not talking about sex where you don't look at me and then tell me not to get any funny ideas afterwards. Why should I keep doing that with you when at least Artie acknowledges me after."_

_Brittany had called her out big time and she had no intelligent response, "I… we… Britt…" she laughed nervously, but the blonde stared steadily at her unwilling to offer her an out, "We could get caught." She said lamely._

_Blue eyes narrowed, "Caught? You're afraid of getting caught making love to me but not having sex with me in Puck's basement?"_

_"Yes?" she said realizing how stupid her line of reasoning was._

_"Fine." Brittany said straightening her shirt and walking back up the stairs._

_Watching her walk away she knew if she let her go out the door she was going to lose her for good, and that thought prompted her to speak, "Britt wait!" The other girl turned slowly her eyebrows raised, "If we were somewhere private, like super extra private I could… I mean I think I could…"_

_Brittany didn't respond but reached her hand out for Santana to take. When they emerged from the basement they saw the party had escalated since they had left. There were so many people so tightly packed she didn't even have the space to see if she knew any of them. It made no difference since Brittany was tugging them steadily to the back door. Seeing the open air outside, Santana felt a cold fear creep over her and tugged Brittany's arm giving her the 'Just a moment' signal before she dashed into the kitchen and downed five Vodka shots back to back before she returned to Brittany's side and took charge, pulling her towards the door and out into the cool late night air. She clambered into the driver's side of her Cadillac, a last ditch effort from her father to gain her favor before her parent's divorce, and waited stoically for Brittany to buckle herself in._

_The moment she heard the telltale click she shifted the car into drive and took off in the direction she was fairly certain led to where she wanted to go._

_She knew of a place deep in the woods that was a winter retreat for some family rich enough to afford that sort of thing, it would be easy enough to break in and do the deed. However even though her driving was passable, her sense of direction was not and she had to slam on the breaks as her car almost went sailing over a cliff face._

_Heart thudding wildly she leapt out of the car and tried to figure out how in the hell they had gotten to the dead center of nowhere. Before them was a sheer drop and behind was the narrow path she had somehow driven up. _

_Brittany stepped out after her and looked up, her breath catching in her throat, "You can see all the stars from here." She said looking up at them in awe._

_"Ehrm… yeah." Santana said looking around for some hint that she was at least a little on track._

_As she looked around she felt a soft warmth engulf her as Brittany came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, "You know with the stars and the moonlight this is actually pretty romantic." She said against her ear._

_Santana shivered and felt herself starting to panic again despite the liquor that was pumping through her, "Yeah, it's nice."_

_"Do you have a blanket or something?"_

_She shrugged and slowly walked over to the car to buy more time, she made a show of climbing in the front seat to reach the trunk opening lever, even though her keys were still in her hand, and walked slowly to the back of the vehicle hoping there was no such item there so she would have an excuse to call the whole thing off. But of course when she opened it there was a large soft blanket folded neatly in the trunk, an item ironically left from the last time she and Puck were together. They had planned ahead of time to skip third period and have sex under the bleachers on the football field, they never made it to the field or third period for that matter. The blanket had lay in her trunk forgotten until now._

Well fuck.

_Brittany joined her and upon seeing it smiled at Santana sweetly, took it and spread it out on the most level patch of ground she could find. Then she stood still, clearly waiting for Santana to make the next move._

_"So you really want to do this here?" she asked praying for a way out of this situation._

_"No I would rather be at my house or yours, or even in Puck's basement but you need complete and utter secrecy so fine. This is far away from people and it is pretty out tonight, so it'll do." She said obviously tired of the attempts to stall._

_Santana moved towards Brittany not knowing what to do. How did one start a love making session? She had no idea, but she did know Brittany needed something from her that she needed to deliver or she would watch Artie wheel away with her girl._

_Taking a deep breath and wishing she had more Vodka, Santana moved forward swiftly before she lost her nerve and kissed Brittany. It was hard, rushed and possibly painful, she couldn't tell, her lips were numb, it went on like that until Brittany pushed her back. For a moment she thought she had ruined her chance but the other girl placed a calming hand on her chest and leaned forward reconnecting them with a soft slow kiss that made Santana's blood run fire hot and her knees want to give out on her. She desperately wrapped her arms around Brittany's neck and held on for dear life as the kiss deepened and took her ability to stand on her own. _

_When they broke apart both girls were panting from the force of it. Knowing she wouldn't be able to withstand another kiss like that and still stand, she pulled Brittany down with her onto the blanket. Santana purposefully left her on top because Brittany wanted her emotions, she wanted her bare and laid open and that was what she would get. _

_They kissed again, this time deeper than before and as she suspected she would never have stayed on her feet for this one. It took away all her air and pushed it back in a rush, even in the cool night air she could feel sweat beading up on her forehead from the heat their bodies were generating. They kissed until Santana was a puddle on the ground and Brittany was hardly any better above her, it was surprising to the brunette that she was so affected by everything when they hadn't even gotten their clothes off yet. Something that Santana moved to rectify, she pushed her hands underneath Brittany's shirt and tried to lift it but was stopped again._

_"I don't want sex Santana." She said softly._

_Pulling her hands away she stared unblinking at the small space between them, "If I'm not mistaken I need to take your clothes off to do this." She joked to try and disguise her nervousness._

_"You need to look at me."_

_She lifted her gaze to meet soft blue eyes, "So the difference between sex and love making is eye contact?" another deflecting joke that managed to make neither of them laugh or alleviate any of the nervousness she was feeling._

_"No." Brittany said softly brushing black hair from her lover's face, "It's how you feel when you look at me."_

_Santana had no reply for that, so instead she held Brittany's gaze as she moved her hands under her shirt and when a soft sigh escaped the blonde's lips Santana couldn't contain the gasp that escaped hers. Feeling she had thoroughly underestimated how vulnerable this experience would leave her, she removed Brittany's shirt quickly keeping eye contact to prevent another halt to her progress. She did the same for her dangerously short skirt and tried to tear her own clothes off but was again stopped as it was clear Brittany wanted that pleasure for herself. Santana watched those brilliant blues as her shorts and shirt were removed with painstaking care, by the time she was down to her underwear she was shaking in arousal and anticipation._

_Brittany pressed their bodies together their eyes never breaking their hold, "How do you feel?" she asked gently._

_Santana had to fight not to look away, "You can't tell?"_

_She grinned at that, "Of course I can, but I think you might need to hear it more than I do."_

_"I love you." She choked out, the words sounded like a cough rather than a sentence, but both girls understood it, "I love you so much."_

_"And I love you."_

_"And you love Artie." She said holding the other woman's gaze with a determination she had never known she had._

_"I do." She said, "But I'm here with you."_

_Suddenly here, now looking into Brittany's eyes as she said that, Santana understood that was more than a notion. Brittany was here with her in the woods giving her a chance to prove herself, even though the chance had to be practically wrestled into her arms. Meanwhile Artie was back at Puck's party either wondering where his girlfriend was or foolishly not wondering where his girlfriend was._

_Understanding that she was able to lean forward and give Brittany a kiss that was full of the things she could never seem to get her mouth to say. It was a kiss to tell how deep her love ran, how it was all consuming and how much that scared her. Tears formed in her eyes as she was able to finally find a way to let Brittany know that she wasn't ashamed of her, that she wasn't ashamed of their love, she was just a coward and wanted nothing more in the world than to change that._

_Brittany sent her unspoken words of comfort and understanding, she accepted every apology and plea in that silent and everlasting kiss before she deftly removed the remaining barriers between them. Santana almost yelped from the feeling of Brittany sliding her heated center over her own and then as she got lost in the most beautiful eyes she had ever known she was able to understand. Making love to her wasn't about looking in her eyes or some sort of ritual before regular sex occurred, it was making a connection between them. It was about understanding each other and communicating all the things words couldn't. Eye contact wasn't even necessary, but she understood it was easiest because the eyes were the window to the soul, and when that thought hit her she wondered when the girl who had so much trouble writing her own name in seventh grade that she wore her own pencil down to nothing trying had become so much smarter than her._

_Santana let Brittany set their pace and as they were locked together and moving in the most intimate way she realized how damning this was, how deeply she had just allowed herself to sink into this trap. There was no way she could go back to watching Artie paw all over her, there was just no way…_

_"I'm here." Brittany panted as if in response to all of Santana's inner thoughts and with those words they vanished and all that existed was the endless pools above her and the growing sensation between her legs that threatened to break her apart._

_"Are you?" she asked and to her intense irritation she was crying._

_"Yes." It was a simple answer, but she could easily see how true it was and how deeply she meant it._

_Santana felt herself slipping over the edge and grabbed Brittany's biceps to steady herself, "I don't want to share you." She said in a panicked rushed voice, trying to get out what she wanted to say before her orgasm ripped it and all her newfound courage away, "I want you to only love me because I only love you. You're the only person I know how to love and without you I am truly alone."_

_There was something there in Brittany's eyes, something that would have told her everything she needed to know, but at that moment her whole body convulsed and her eyes instinctually closed, leaving her trembling, gasping and writhing in pleasure all while feeling like the world's biggest ass for spilling her guts like she had. But even as Brittany reached her climax and they both lay on the blanket panting heavily in the dark quiet moonlit forest she didn't take it back._

_They lay there for a while with the blanket folded over them and napped until they had the energy to collect their clothing. When they were both mostly dressed and Brittany was done picking leaves out of her bra Santana walked over to her car and leaned on the door facing her but her eyes trained firmly on the ground._

_"So what now?" she asked shifting her gaze to inspect her nails._

_"I don't know, that's up to you I guess."_

_"Up to… Brittany what the hell was all that about? Why the fuck do you keep asking me to open up if you're only going to shoot me straight in the heart when I do?" _

_She frowned, "Santana if I weren't with Artie would you be able to be my girlfriend? For real, like publically for real? And I don't mean tomorrow I mean ever. Do you ever see yourself telling everyone about us and not feeling afraid?"_

_"Well you are still dating Artie so I guess you'll never know. You keep on making me take these huge leaps forward, you keep asking more and more from me and meanwhile you have to take no risks! I have done nothing but put myself under your boot only to get stomped! No you don't get any assurances!"_

_"Santana I have never stomped on you! You don't get things your way and you get angry but I have never been the jerk you are saying I am! I seem to remember you using me as a body warmer when Puck was in juvie."_

_"It wasn't about that and you know it!"_

_"You're right I do know and I also know I have never been as cold to you as you were to me, but I've always loved you regardless."_

_Santana knew she was right, Brittany was always right and it made her furious because she really did feel she should be winning this argument, "You want to know if I'll ever be strong enough to date you? Break up with Wheels first then try me, take a risk and see how it turns out." she snapped turning to climb in her car._

_The car door slammed shut leaving Brittany alone outside the car staring hard at the girl currently fuming within. With a sigh she gathered up the blanket and slid into the passenger's seat._

_On the ride back they didn't say a word to each other, the car was silent but that silence blared in both their ears until Santana pulled to a stop in front of Brittany's house. _

_She turned to Santana to find her staring fixedly on the road ahead, "I want to be with you, but I can't be your secret for the rest of my life." She said quietly._

_Santana turned and looked at her, their eyes meeting for the first time since the they had woken, "You wouldn't be, if I were with you I would have to tell everyone. They'd figure it out eventually anyway."_

_"And if you aren't ready, if you can't bring yourself to be that person, then what?"_

_She shrugged, "I don't know how to function without you." A laugh escaped her, but there was no humor in it._

_"I wouldn't stop being your friend if you didn't date me."_

_Santana was quiet, she was trying to picture the rest of her life watching Brittany live and love in someone else's arms and it was making her sick._

_"What does it matter Brittany? We are playing the 'what if' game, but you're set on dating Stubbles and senior year is almost over, we're all going to go our separate ways soon and we won't even remember each other's name."_

_"I'll never forget your name and I know you won't forget mine." She said dismissively as if the mere idea were too ridiculous to give further thought, "We'll always be friends."_

_The car was silent again and Brittany opened the door to go, but Santana stopped her with a hand on her wrist and of course the damn tears were back, "Why won't you take a chance on me?"_

_Brittany leaned back in the car, "If I did do you even have the slightest idea what you would say?"_

_She wanted to say yes, she wanted to sound sure and be confidant like she had it all worked out, but honestly the way she constantly swung back and forth between hiding in the darkest corner of her little gay closet and being ready to rip her hair out with need of the only person who made her feel like she was worth anything she had no idea, "No."_

_"I didn't think so." She turned to leave again but this time Santana scrambled across the console and turned her face for a kiss that put every one before it to shame._

_"I love you. I may not know anything else, but I know I love you." She said and then, finally, she allowed the blonde to leave her car._

* * *

><p>Once they entered the woods they ended up at the exact spot Santana had been looking for, even now years later the divots in the dirt were still present from when she had slammed on her breaks. She climbed out of the car and collected the large plastic container and the same blanket from so long ago now worn and faded with age.<p>

She set up the blanket in the exact same place and set the food down before returning to the car to help Brittany out and to the prepared spot. "I wish you still had the Cadillac." She joked as Santana helped her to the ground.

"Meh, we didn't need it."

They had sold it to make the down payment on their house and had never bothered to replace it, opting instead to get two far more fuel efficient cars.

She sat behind Brittany making her front flush with her back as she lazily unpacked their food relishing in the feel of the woman in front of her.

"Seriously how did you find this place again?" she said and from her voice Santana knew she was smiling broadly.

"Easy, I never forgot it. I came back the night before prom and sat here for hours trying to work out what I should do. I ended up thinking that I should ditch everything and run away because there was no way you were going to break up with Artie."

"You can be so slow sometimes." She laughed, "There was a moment where I did think you were really going to run away from me."

"I thought about it." She said resting her head on Brittany's shoulder.

"Why didn't you?"

"At the last minute I decided that I was more afraid of being alone because when I imagined a future without you I didn't see anything worth having."

Brittany gave her hand a squeeze and they ate in silence for a while just enjoying one another's presence and eating the prepared food.

"Have you thought of any more baby names?" Santana asked when she had finished her sandwich.

Brittany nodded, "I think if it's a boy we should go with Fievel."

Santana tried to fight the smile that erupted at that suggestion and failed, "Skipping over how that is a Russian-Jewish cartoon mouse I think it will be really weird to have Violet, Ella and Fievel."

"Hmm, okay what about Mickey?"

"Babe you're getting fixated on cartoons."

"But it's hard not to think of names that aren't on tv, and all the ones in the baby book are boring."

"What about Zeke? I'm pretty sure some cartoon has that name and it's different. Plus his nickname could be Z, which is pretty cool."

Brittany thought this over, "Okay Zeke sounds good, but I reserve the right to change my mind."

Santana kissed her shoulder, "'Course, and are we still settled on Simone for a girl?"

"I guess, but I was thinking Bianca might be better."

"Your thing for this baby is cartoon mice isn't it?" she giggled.

"Not on purpose, but it's a good name right?"

"Yeah, I like it. Okay so Zeke for a boy and Simone or Bianca for a girl."

Brittany nodded, "Yes."

Santana reached around and ran her hand along the protrusion in her wife's stomach and was rewarded with a small kick.

Brittany jumped slightly at the sensation and Santana smiled, "I think he or she likes those names."

"I think he or she just likes you."

Grinning, she got to her knees and leaned over her wife's shoulder to kiss her as best she could from that angle and she did so until she got frustrated and moved around to her side. Taking full advantage of her new position she kissed Brittany until the other woman melted into her arms.

Santana pulled back smiling widely, "Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary." She said looking into Santana's eyes with the same intense loving stare she'd had the last time they were in this place together.

They kissed again for a long moment before Brittany broke them apart and Santana could tell from her eyes that something was off, "What's wrong?"

"San did you bring a hot water bottle? My back is starting to hurt."

Santana sighed and hung her head, "No, but I have a bunch of pillows in the trunk."

"I'm sorry." She said faintly.

Shaking her head the brunette leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, "Not a problem just promise me one thing?" she said, her tone making Brittany listen intently.

"Okay."

"Don't tell my mom you needed one because I will never hear the end of it."

* * *

><p>AN: The flashback almost got the boot for good, but it is pretty important to the Florida timeline to know more about that time so here it is. So consider this a part Florida part Ohio...part... I hope you enjoyed it and have a better idea of how both timelines got their start. Let me know how you liked it.


	10. Ohio Santana Part 6

**Lima, Ohio**

"Do you believe in time travel?" Ella asked as she sat across from Santana eating her McDonald's with a ponderous face.

Halting a fry on the way to her mouth Santana paused, "I don't know, I suppose it's possible and we just haven't figured out how yet."

"It isn't." Violet said knowingly from her spot next to Ella.

Her sister frowned, "How would you know?"

"Time travel, at least the way you're talking about, is impossible since time doesn't exist, you can't travel through a concept."

Santana and Ella stared at her as she ate a nugget, "Time does too exist." Ella finally countered.

"Kinda but not really. Time goes from one o'clock to two o'clock, but that doesn't make sense if there are infinite numbers between one and two. Even counting from one second to the next would be impossible since you have to count to infinity before you can keep going. And even then you aren't counting all the fractions of a second that come in between." Another nugget went into her mouth and she smiled happily as she swung her feet.

Santana tried not to look totally shocked, it wasn't the first time her daughter had said something far above her grade level or beyond Santana's own understanding, but it never ceased to amaze her every time it happened.

"Violet are you sure you don't want to join the advanced classes at school?" she asked for what had to have been the hundredth time.

"No thanks." She chirped dipping another nugget into sweet and sour sauce.

Looking slightly crestfallen, Ella put her fry back on her tray, "Oh, well what about traveling to another dimension?"

Violet shrugged, "There are theories, but nothing proven. I like to think you can though."

Ella brightened, "Cool then I want to explore other dimensions when I grow up."

"We can explore them together and bring mom and momma back cool stuff. Maybe they'll have rocket boots or solar powered polar bear cars."

"Why polar bear cars?" Ella laughed.

"Why not? Polar bears are awesome! They don't have to be real ones, just polar bear shaped. The cars we have here are all stupid cuboids."

Violet's ability to switch between hard facts and wild fantasy had also always been something that astonished Santana, however watching her with Brittany always made it make sense. Her wife could say the most whimsical things, but never without some sort of reasoning, be it loosely based on fact or full of more fiction. It was what kept their talks so lively with points and counterpoints to silliness like the feasibility of building a real life Candyland. The crazy part was that usually in the end Brittany would have won the debate.

After further discussion on matter with the conclusion that it would be better if the cars were polar bear and dragon shaped. Ella excused herself to go to the bathroom leaving Santana alone with Violet who looked like she might be rethinking the idea of dragon shaped cars.

However what she said was completely off that topic, "What's with Ella? It was her idea to call you momma in the first place and she acts like it's hard to do or something."

"She… it's complicated. Just don't give her a hard time about it okay?"

"I'm not, Bradley is. He keeps on saying that she's adopted because she doesn't look like me or mom and she always calls you Santana."

She frowned at the mention of the boy's name, "Who is this Bradley kid and when do I need to be at the school to go all Lima Heights Adjacent on him?"

"Don't worry about it, Caleb punches him all the time when he picks on Ella. He's just some boy who likes her."

Santana's attention zeroed in on that and she gave Violet a searching look, "How do you know that?"

The girl shrugged, "I don't really, but I'm in class with his big brother and he says Bradley has a total crush on her."

That was something that was to be expected, both of her children were beautiful and anyone would have to be blind not to see that. Yet the fact that this boy had picked up on it so soon made her uneasy, "Does anyone have a crush on you?" she asked trying to sound only mildly interested.

She laughed, "Yeah, like my whole class."

It was the first time she had seen her own self assured cockiness reflected back at her and she had to smile at that, "You tell them all to back off right?"

"Yup, I'm going to be a career woman anyway." She announced.

Ella returned and slid quietly back into her seat, as she picked up her fries to take a bite Santana found herself about to question the girl about the mysterious Bradley when her phone rang.

She glanced at the screen and upon seeing Brittany's face smiling back at her wasted no time in answering it, "Hello?" she questioned hoping this wasn't an angry hormone phone call.

"Hey where are you?" was the calm question that came back to her and she let out a sigh of relief.

"At McDonald's, the girls were hungry on the way back from the store. Don't worry we'll bring something back for you."

"No that's okay. I was just asking, I wanted to know how far you were from the house because I'm pretty sure I just went into labor."

The baby's due date was three days past and they'd had about seven false alarms in the last few weeks, each time leaving Brittany feeling bad that everyone was woken in the middle of the night to spend several hours at the hospital for nothing. It left her being far more cautious about raising the baby alarm, however Santana believed in safe over sorry.

"Right, we're on our way home now." Santana said as she waved at the girls to leave their booth.

"Alright, just don't drive crazy."

"I'll do my best, love you, bye." She hung up the phone and moved towards the door quickly and was already starting the car when her children climbed in.

"Is mom having the baby?" Ella asked.

Santana was already out of the parking lot and headed rather quickly down the street when she answered, "I think so, we're going to the hospital regardless."

"Hey if the baby comes today can we stay home from school tomorrow?" Violet said thoughtfully.

"No way kiddo. If this is the real deal you know the drill." She said taking a turn slightly faster than she would have on a normal day.

The drill had always been when either Brittany or Quinn went into labor they would take care of each other's kids until the parents were ready to bring their new baby home. It had been a given since Caleb, something that didn't need explaining. Once the word was out, Santana could count on one of the Puckermans showing up as soon as possible at the hospital ready to watch over Violet and Ella. She quickly wormed her hand into her pocket and pulled out her phone, handing it to Violet in the back seat. Her daughter, already knowing what to do found Knuck if you Puck and hit send.

"Mom's gonna get mad if you pull up this fast." Violet advised before turning her attention back to the phone.

Santana knew the truth of it, Brittany could be unpredictably moody when pregnant, but when the birthing pains hit she was almost exclusively on the negative end of the scale. The only thing she could hope for was to keep her peaceful and calm as long as she could and get her under the care of a doctor and out of range of their children before she began to say things they were too young to hear.

Slowing to a respectable speed she pulled up by the curb and dashed out of the car, Brittany had apparently heard them pull up because she was already at the door and headed towards her before Santana could make it all the way up the driveway. She assisted Brittany into the front seat and returned to the driver's side, proceeding to drive carefully while obeying all the traffic laws. Now that Brittany was physically with her she felt more content taking her time, and that made her chuckle. The comparison of how she handled things now versus how much of a mess she had been when Violet was born was totally comical. She had been at the school at the time, and when she had gotten the call she had literally forgotten everything, like where her car keys were and the fastest way to her own house. It was bad enough for her to end up in Lima Heights Adjacent twice before she got her head on straight and when she finally made it home she'd had no idea what to do. In desperation she called her mother who had to be the one to keep her from having a panic attack, tell her to measure the time between contractions and, most obviously and importantly, tell her to take Brittany to the hospital.

The ride to the hospital was quiet for the most part and almost pleasant until a heavy contraction hit and she heard the telltale sharp intake of breath from her right.

"Fffff-udge." Brittany groaned.

The near curse told Santana that this was not a false alarm more than anything else, "Violet you got Uncle Puck right?"

"Yeah he said he's on his way." She said remembering the phone for the first time since her mom had joined them and returned it.

"Santana can we get there a little faster?" Brittany whimpered.

"On it." She said while pushing the car to cruise fifteen over the speed limit.

They made good time with a bit of tactical maneuvering and the running of some yellow lights. By now the check in procedure was routine and she filled out the paperwork swiftly while Ella and Violet hugged Brittany briefly. Santana leaned in giving her a quick and temporary goodbye kiss before she was wheeled away.

She brought the girls to the waiting room where she sat with them to pass the time until Puck came, freeing her to rejoin her wife. It was this time, the wait before she would see her again, that made Santana the most nervous. Something about having the other woman in her sight calmed her though she knew the feeling of trepidation would hit again regardless once the baby started to come.

Violet took a seat next to her and picked up a random magazine for a moment before setting it down, "Are the three of us going to share a room?" she asked suddenly.

"No, while the baby is still little it'll stay in our room and later, it depends. I plan to downsize my office and move it into the garage to make more room. If it's a boy we want to let you girls have your privacy so you two would move to my old office and if it's a girl we were thinking about moving her and Ella to the office and letting you have your own room. What do you think of that?" she asked looking at both girls.

Ella shrugged timidly, "That's fine."

Violet on the other hand looked less pleased, "I don't wanna be in a room without Ella though. The baby can have its own room either way. Besides we might have another brother or sister so it wouldn't even matter then."

Santana nodded smiling and Ella seemed unable to keep a pleased grin from spreading, "Alright we can do that."

"Fancy meeting you here." Said a familiar voice.

Santana looked up to see Puck smiling at her, "Took you long enough." She grumbled playfully standing to give him a hug.

"Whatever I have a big crew to roundup." He said indicating his children who were trailing dutifully behind him.

Upon seeing their friends, Joseph and Caleb went to talk animatedly with Violet and Ella leaving Aaron to bring his sister along. The smaller boy clearly wanted to join his brothers but had been tasked with watching Abby, so he sat her in a chair squeezed in beside her and watched the others interact.

Puck watched the boy and turned to Santana with a smile, "Can't wait for her to get here, he needs a lady Lopez to talk to."

Santana scowled, "IF it's a girl she'll be an infant therefore hardly a solution to your problem and what makes you so sure not one of your kids will have an interest in the same sex?"

He shrugged unconcernedly, "That's fine but I'm setting them up Puckasauras style, they are free to deviate from the path and mix and match as they please. I just think if we mix the Puckerman and Lopez genes we can start a franchise of the most marketable grandkids on the earth. I mean our kids are all set to be superstars in their own rights and if they marry each other that is six power couples which will have friggin flawless children, you do the math."

Rolling her eyes she threw a 'You are delusional.' over her shoulder as she left to find Brittany.

Having scrubbed up and pulled her hair back she was finally able to enter the delivery room and found the blonde she had been looking for laying peacefully in bed. However the quick rise and fall of her chest, clenched fists and pulsing vein in her forehead told Santana a different story, she quickly approached and took Brittany's hand in hers.

Almost immediately the tension left her face and her eyes opened finding Santana's almost instantly, "Puck came?" she asked breathing a sigh of relief at seeing her wife.

"Yeah." Santana brushed blonde hair aside, letting her hand linger on Brittany's cheek, "The doctor says it's for real this time."

She chuckled, "I sort of figured that out."

"Statistically this won't take longer than Ella."

"That's statistically, and Ella was a ten hour birth. _Technically_ nine hours and fifty-nine minutes is shorter."

"Every second counts." Santana said smiling.

Brittany smiled back and pulled Santana close for a short kiss before another spasm of pain hit her leaving her scrunching her eyes shut again. But the pain was significantly lessened by Santana being there holding her hand.

When the contraction had passed and the bright blue eyes were open again, Santana saw something in them that hadn't been there a moment before. And whatever it was had caused a shadow of her pained frown to remain.

"Something wrong?" she asked looking around as though she could deduce the problem externally.

Brittany's eyes flickered to her for a moment and back to her stomach looking slightly more worried than before, "No…"

Hearing the hesitation Santana squeezed her hand lightly, "Please let me in."

She frowned a little harder before she asked, "Why do you think I do this?"

It took a while for her to identify the meaning of 'this' as the pregnancy itself, "Because we wanted children… right?" Having never encountered this pattern during a birth, she was unsure if this was a real question or a mood swing trap.

"No, I mean why do you think I want to get pregnant at all? It's clear I'm really self conscious about how I look, the vomiting, achy feet, back pain and nevermind the actual birth pains suck royally, so why do you think I do it?"

It smelled, looked, and sounded like a trick question still but she answered nonetheless, "Because that's what you have to go through if you want to have kids that aren't adopted or from a surrogate?"

She sighed and seemed to almost want to give up on the question when she rephrased, "Okay, how about this. Why do you think I wanted kids at all?"

Santana paused and glanced at the other woman trying to see where this was going, "I don't know. You said you wanted them and it never crossed my mind to question that."

The answer seemed to resolve whatever had been nagging at her but did nothing to improve the brooding look on her face. Santana gave her hand a slight tug to refocus her attentions, "Why did you want to have kids?" she asked, because clearly she had been remiss in not asking before.

Brittany chewed on her lip a moment before she answered, "I didn't until I married you. You were the reason I wanted a family. I mean I had thought about it, but not in a serious way. Whenever I was with someone else the thought didn't even make it into my fantasies of the future. I mostly just thought about becoming a dancer. But when we were together in the woods I knew then that I wanted to be with you and when I thought of having a family with you it seemed like the best idea ever. Just the thought of raising kids with you made me smile." She said but she wasn't smiling now, not at all.

Santana ran her thumb along Brittany's cheek searching her eyes for some indication as to how she was supposed to respond to this, "Do you regret it?"

"Not even a little bit." She said and this time a slight smile graced her face, "I'm happy I have Violet and Ella and I am excited about this one."

"Then baby what's wrong?" Santana asked leaning closer so she could rest her chin by Brittany's shoulder.

"Nothing's _wrong_ I…" she paused and turned away slightly, "The way I feel about you is the only reason I go through this and it hurt a little when you said you couldn't think of a reason to do it too."

Brittany's voice had been light, level and lacking any accusation but Santana knew from the fact that she was bringing it up, and now of all times, it had hurt a lot. She opened her mouth to respond but another contraction forced Brittany's eyes shut and her breathing to come in shallow gasps, quickly she took her hand and held it firmly.

Unable to wait for the pain to subside to speak, Santana gently kissed Brittany on the temple and pulled her fully on her side so she could rub her back consolingly, "I'm so sorry I ever gave you the impression that I didn't want to because I don't love you enough. Brittany you're my whole world and I wouldn't have anything worth keeping without you. I don't want to get pregnant but I do want children and I only want them with you." The pain ebbed away and Brittany's body relaxed again, but Santana kept her close all while rubbing soothing circles, "I know it's a bad idea and I know you wouldn't want it in any case but if me having a baby was the only way to show you I love you I would do it."

Brittany shook her head, "I don't want that." She agreed.

"And because you don't want me going against how I feel I won't, but if you were wondering if I would do it because it was the only way to express that I love you? Yes. Without a second thought."

Her face pushed further into Santana's neck as she said, "Then you'd feel trapped again." The words barely a whisper.

A whole different kind of pain hit Santana as she remembered what had happened, "I'd feel sad I made you feel so insecure about us that I had to prove my love for you like that, not trapped. And I told you I don't care what happens between us, you don't have to worry about that anymore."

"I know but sometimes I feel like everything I do or say could drive you away." And like that Santana understood her hasty retraction of the pregnancy request.

"Don't let that woman be the reason we do or don't do anything." Santana said recounting Quinn's earlier words to her, "It's about you and me so let's keep it that way."

She nodded against Santana's shoulder and though she hadn't said anything and her face was hidden the brunette knew her wife was smiling, "That's a good idea."

"It is. Occasionally with Quinn's help I can be as smart as you." Brittany laughed at that and Santana pulled back to kiss her tenderly on the lips, "No joke you've always been so much smarter than me, it's hard to keep up." She said and she was as sincere and serious as she had ever been in her life.

* * *

><p>Four hours later and the baby hadn't made any moves to make an appearance, but was clearly packing to get ready for the move because Brittany was in constant pain. The nurse had been in every half hour to see if she was ready, the progress was slow but it was being made and the blonde had moved from suffering in silence to outright tantrums when the big contractions hit.<p>

Since arriving; Carla, Quinn and the Pierces had shown up but Santana had opted to greet them briefly herself rather than bring them around the now rather foul tempered woman. Though everyone understood, they had all suffered under Brittany's labor induced wrath at some point.

At the moment she was dancing back and forth between needing to hold Santana and wanting her as far away as physically possible. Used to this routine, Santana allowed Brittany to shove her back and curse ferociously at her for invading her space and then grab her shirt and pull her close in a bruising hug. Santana let it happen and said words of encouragement when permitted and was quiet when told to 'Shut the fuck up!'

Approaching the fifth hour, the nurse returned and dipped under the covers to check to see if the baby had made any new progress, a move that Brittany had no problem in voicing her distaste for, and just like that it was time. Santana was a little surprised that it was happening so quickly but was glad because Brittany was a mild bit of pressure away from snapping her back in half. The doctor was in shortly thereafter looking like it was another day at the office, though admittedly for him it was, Santana however was once again incredibly anxious, even after all this time she couldn't help but worry during the delivery. A worry that was not at all alleviated when Brittany would push and then collapse on the bed like the life was drained out of her, but somehow each time she found the strength to do it again.

Only after the pealing cry of the baby filled the room was she finally able to relax and let the nervous knots that had formed all over come undone. Brittany lay panting and spent on the bed, her eyes lazily finding the source of all the crying and the way her face lit up at the sight made Santana lean over and kiss her lovingly.

Brittany looked up at her, "A girl?" she asked.

Santana glanced over to the nurse who had cut the umbilical cord and moved to start cleaning the baby, the woman stopped for a moment, having heard the question, and nodded smiling.

Once cleaned their little girl was wrapped up in a small pink blanket and handed to Brittany for the first time. Santana watched her hold their daughter and look at her with nothing but pure unfiltered love and felt herself getting teary eyed at the sight. Even though newborns had the look of a withered old man fresh off a nine month bath she was still flawless in her parent's eyes.

Though clearly the lights and sounds were abrasive to the infants senses, her crying faded away as Brittany hummed quietly to her. When the baby settled she turned to Santana giving a silent offer to hold her, which didn't need to be repeated.

Santana carefully took her and cradled her softly, once again silently thanked whatever or whoever had put her life back on track so she could have this moment. She felt her the sting of tears and immediately rerouted her way of thinking before she ruined one of the milestones of her life by breaking down over the tragedy that could have been.

"How'd you guess it was a girl?" she asked quietly so as not to disturb the baby.

Brittany shrugged though it seemed to take all of her strength to do so, "Puck said it would be."

"He is going to be insufferable after this."

A tired laugh escaped her as her eyes started to drift shut, "Let him have his victory dance, he was right. I think I want a nap now though." She said drifting off even as she said the words.

Santana wasn't sure how she could sleep given how now the nurses were cleaning up ground zero and the doctor was examining her to make sure there was no excessive bleeding, but Brittany had earned a rest and she wasn't going to interrupt.

* * *

><p>After making sure both the baby and Brittany were alright, Santana made her way out to the lobby to give the good news to the rest of her family. Violet gave a loud cheer and shared a high five with Puck who had <em>I Told You So<em> plastered all over his face, and as predicted broke out into a little victory dance. Quinn rolled her eyes at her husband but gave Santana a congratulatory hug. Her mother put her already sore back to the test with an embrace and Faith followed with a gentle one that was heartfelt. Richard gave her a heavy clap on the shoulder and covertly promised to smoke a celebratory cigar with her once they were out of the hospital and out of sight of both their wives.

Hailey seemed so excided she could hardly contain herself, "What's her name?" she asked before throwing Santana a quick hug.

"I don't know yet, I'm waiting for Brittany to wake up to decide."

"Can we see her?" Violet asked excitedly.

Santana thought for a moment and nodded, "She should be in the nursery now."

They went to look at her a few at a time so as not to crowd the area and Santana couldn't help the pride that filled her as they looked at her daughter in amazement. It wasn't even necessary to point her out, in the nursery there were only seven other babies four of which were marked as boys, of the remaining three girls there was only one that was wide awake with a tuft of black hair and the biggest blue green eyes any of them had ever seen.

Violet had asked if she had ever been that small and Santana had informed her that she had in fact been smaller. She lifted Ella into her arms so she could have a better view and watched as the girls smiled widely at their newborn sister.

"She has really pretty eyes." Ella said wistfully after a moment.

"Yeah, and you're a big sister too now so you have to look out for her okay?"

Santana's words made the girl's face become quite serious, "I'll take care of her I promise."

"Don't worry Ella if you have any questions about being a big sister you can ask me." Violet said sagely.

Puck appeared with Abby in his arms and Aaron in tow, he showed each of the children who they were there to see in turn. Caleb was eager to see the baby while Joseph pretended to be bored by it all though he was clearly very interested, and after almost two minutes of pretending not to care he was right next to Caleb peering through the viewing window.

Quinn, Hailey, Carla and Faith appeared and while Santana talked over the names she and Brittany were choosing between with Quinn and Hailey, the other two women discussed visitation schedules for their grandchildren. It was a topic that was revisited every time another child was added to their family and this time was no different. Richard hung on the outskirts not saying anything, but watching the infant intently even after she had fallen asleep and to Santana's surprise Ella stood right beside him doing the same.

An hour of visiting and congratulations later, Puck had taken his crew and her girls back to his place so they could all rest and be ready to greet Brittany in the morning a move soon mimicked by Carla, Faith and Richard. Once she had seen them off and having made sure Brittany was still sleeping comfortably, she made her way to the coffee machine to try and get a refill on energy. When she arrived she was rather surprised to see Hailey standing by the machine already sipping a cup of hot coffee.

"I thought you would have left already." She said putting in the excessive amount of money to get her own bitter pick-me-up.

"I don't really have anywhere I need to be right now and I thought you could use some company until Britt wakes up."

Santana nodded at the truth of that and picked up the cup from the dispenser, "Thanks. I'm starting to crash after all the birth excitement and now is when I need to be the most awake."

Hailey laughed, "I don't know, she would have been a little pissed if you nodded off in the delivery room."

"That's just it, I couldn't have, not with her trying to bend me in half the wrong way. Waiting around in a quiet hospital is what threatens to take me down." She said taking a long drag of coffee.

"Maybe you should just get some sleep. I'll wake you if she comes around."

"No. If I go down it's for the next eight hours at least. Once Brittany's awake and our little girl has a name I'll consider it."

Hailey gave her a thoughtful look, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, "Did you know I used to have the biggest crush on you?"

The coffee went down the wrong pipe and did a scalding little jig leaving Santana sputtering and coughing, "Sorry what?" she wheezed.

Hailey patted her gently on the back to help clear her airway, "When you used to come over I would clean up my room and put on some of my mom's perfume every time. And I purposefully left my homework unfinished so you and Brittany would help me with it. But I always knew you guys would be together and that you were absolutely perfect for one another so I just let it be my secret." She turned from Santana's still surprised face and looked across the hall aimlessly, "I always knew I was right, it's just that at times like these I see how right I was."

"You don't still…" she started cautiously.

"Nah, I got over it a long time ago." Hailey said smiling, "Though I did used to have the raunchiest sex dreams about you, seriously Britt would ban me from your house if she knew half of them."

Santana sputtered on burring hot coffee for the second time in as many minutes.

* * *

><p>It was another hour before Brittany's eyes fluttered open to find Santana sitting next to her looking a little haggard.<p>

"Hey." Brittany mumbled her voice thick with sleep.

Seeing the familiar blue eyes her own came alive, "Hi."

"Did a bus hit me?" she wondered struggling to sit up.

"No, but one came out of you." Santana joked.

Brittany laughed and looked around, "Where is she?"

"The nursery. I'll get the nurse to bring her." Brittany nodded and waited for Santana to leave only noticing then that Hailey was curled up on the small chair in the corner of the room. She was about to call out to her sister when Santana returned.

Indicating the sleeping woman she asked, "It's pretty late isn't it? I thought everyone would have gone home."

"She helped keep me up, we should let her sleep." Santana said clearing her throat that still burned from their earlier conversation.

When the nurse finally arrived with the baby, Santana stood next to the bed content to watch Brittany fawn over their little girl until the end of time, but soon the blonde turned to her breaking her exclusion from the scene.

"Her eyes are so pretty, they sort of fade from blue to green depending on the light."

Kneeling down closer Santana saw that as the large eyes slipped around the room the dominance of the blue and green in them did seem to shift, "I'm sure they'll pick a color to stay on in a month or two."

"I hope not, it's like the Northern Lights." She said looking down at the girl her eyes tender and warm, "We should call her Aurora."

It was totally off track of what they had decided on before, but there was absolutely no way she could shoot it down with Brittany looking like that, besides it wasn't a bad name.

"Aurora it is." She said looking down at her daughter who looked back at them with wide beautiful eyes.

* * *

><p>AN: Sooo... if you don't follow me on tumblr you may have wondered what in the hell happened with the updates. Well my laptop died a messy death and had to get some repairs, about $300+ worth. And yes I am aware for that price I could buy a new one, but not another one as awesome as mine and I need it for two of my jobs. The only way I can write this story _and_ work is to have that beast fully functional. It is now and I hope to be back to a way more regular schedule, it may take an extra day or two to get totally back in the groove (still have to reinstall a ton of programs) but for the most part I am fully functional again. Though even now as I type this my desktop is making funny noises... Whatever I got my laptop and that means my readers get fics XD

As an extra I'll throw in a little trivia:

Glimpse, at the early planning stages, was originally going to have Santana at prom about to respond to Brittany before she was thrown through time and space to the Ohio timeline. It would have dealt more with her learning to be an adult and responsible and less with her feelings for Brittany since their relationship would have been fresh enough for that not to have been much of an issue. It went through several stages where, at one point, it was like a Christmas Carol in which she was shown her past with Brittany and both futures (by the mysterious man). It was going to stay that way until I visited my mom for a weekend and she played Family Man non-stop the whole time so it sort of morphed into what it is now. I think I could have rocked either version, but I like the way this has panned out.

Anyhow I really hope you liked the chapter and found it worth the wait.


	11. Florida Santana Part 5

**Miami, Florida**

White knuckles gripped the leather steering wheel as Santana stared down the small shop with a look of absolute irritation. She had been all over Florida searching through the best and worst bridal shops the state had to offer and of course nothing suited her taste. For a while she had considered just having a designer come to her house and make one for her, but not only would that cost an arm and a leg on such short notice, the only designs she could think of were variations of the one in the tiny shop she was currently staring down.

Resigned, she threw her car into park and marched up to the building trying not to look as sour as she felt. A mild consolation was that she honestly had looked for something else and if her mother asked, she could just lie and say she hadn't had time to do any more real searching. It would allow her to keep the dress and keep up the instance that there was a more appropriate dress at a different shop that she merely hadn't had time to get to.

Once inside she made a beeline for the rack the dress had been on, but after several minutes of searching she couldn't find it. She looked on the nearby racks and even in different sections wondering if it had been misplaced but saw nothing. Desperate, she went to the counter where the elderly owners stood talking quietly. Seeing her approach they gave her a welcoming smile.

"Hello, I was here a few days ago and there was a dress here…"

The woman was nodding from the moment she started talking, "Yes, it was one of my favorites to make, did you like it?"

"I did, I wanted to buy it actually, but I don't see it here and I was wondering if you had another like it."

The woman gave her a confused look and the man shook his head, "We don't make duplicates, that is if we can help it, sometimes the memory goes and the same design comes up twice." He laughed.

"Oh, well do you do you remember if you sold it?"

At this the woman's frown deepened, "We did but to the woman who was with you. She said you'd need it for your wedding."

Santana felt her heart skip a beat, "You mean the blonde one right?" _Please let it be Brittany, I can deal with that._

"The brunette, I thought she was your mother, was I mistaken?"

Her face fell, "Ugh… no… that was my mother." She sighed and turned to the door, "Thanks for your help." She said over her shoulder, returning to her car before the couple could respond.

It was with a deep frown that she sat back in the driver's seat, however she couldn't help but let out a small laugh as she drove away.

_Well played mother, well played._ She thought, partially amused but mostly pissed.

* * *

><p>Santana started by trying to call Carla, thinking that pride swallowing was easiest over the phone but the woman was obnoxiously not answering. After half an hour of driving around to avoid her mother's hotel she finally went only to find the woman wasn't in. Irritated beyond reason, she gave up and decided to return home knowing her mother would make her power play in due time.<p>

The sight of her house gave her a warming comfort, knowing Brittany was inside waiting for her never failed to make her want to bound up the stairs and get inside as soon as possible. As she did just that she wondered if that would change for her, it apparently had for her other self or else she wouldn't have done what she did. That made her pause at the door, what if that happened? What if she managed to somehow become enough of an idiot to compound the mistake she made in this world with the pain she had caused in the other. Worry started to fill her, but then she remembered the other Brittany, the woman from Ohio who had cried heartbrokenly into her arms and been so deeply wounded by her counterpart's actions. There was no way she could do that to her Brittany, to have to go through that once was bad enough, it had tried her emotionally and she hadn't even done anything, furthermore it was a first offense. If she shredded the blonde's heart once and then came back only to do it again and then some… there would be no returning from that. There was no way it was happening and that was that.

Shaking her head with amusement at the sheer insanity of the thought she opened the door, her eyes searching for familiar blue eyes and instead finding three sets of familiar brown ones. On the couch were Puck, Mike and Carla all drinking and talking animatedly until she stepped in the door, all conversations stopped and the focus was shifted to her exclusively.

"Oh look who it is. Miss Forgets Her Best Friend At The Airport." Puck said giving her a stern look.

Before Santana could apologize Brittany waltzed in from the kitchen carrying several beers, "I prefer Miss Hands Under The Shirt." She said giving the now blushing brunette a wink.

"Crap, Puck I'm sorry I got caught up trying to…" Santana hazarded a look at her mother and then back to him, "Do stuff."

"Well good to know it wasn't for no reason, lucky for you Brittany knows how to answer her phone." He said indignantly though she knew it was purely for show.

Sighing at his antics Santana walked in and took one of the beers from Brittany in exchange for a brief but loving kiss, "What brings you two here?" she asked Mike and Carla.

Mike shrugged, "We were rehearsing when Puck called and decided to just call it a day and go pick him up together, I kept Britt company on the ride down. Besides Puck and I didn't see much of each other last time he was here."

"That's because it was Lady Thrillin time." Puck said.

Santana turned to Carla who raised her eyebrows as she twisted the top off her beer, "I don't recall needing to have a prepared explanation as to why I am visiting my soon to be daughter-in-law."

"Since you won't let me throw a slammin' party we picked up some drinks on the way here. I figured we could at least have a little get together." Puck said shrugging, "Oh! And I brought goodies!" he then bolted out of his seat and started to rummage through the enormous travel bag by his feet.

Brittany pulled Santana down next to her on the couch and waited eagerly for Puck's surprise, Santana just gave her mother suspicious eyes, a look the other woman totally ignored, until he reemerged with a DVD case in his hands.

It wouldn't have sparked Santana's interest if the whole thing hadn't been bedazzled, with the word _CONGRATULATIONS_ written in gold glitter paint across the front, "What the hell is that?"

"A DVD." Brittany answered looking proud that she got the answer before Santana.

"Yeah, but what is it of?"

Puck grinned, "You can't guess?" he asked tapping his finger on one of the many stars plastered across the front of the case.

Santana didn't know if she was more shocked or appalled, "You're kidding."

"I ran into Rachel at a wrap up party from my last movie. She started asking if I kept up with any of the old crew and of course I told her about you two." He said still smiling.

"If that's an hour and a half of her singing you can put it in the trash now." Santana grumbled leaning away from the offered gift.

"Don't be mean." Brittany chided taking the DVD and moving to the television at the other end of the living room.

Feeling a headache coming on, Santana took a swig of beer and started to rub her temples, "I don't think we have to watch it now or anything." She tried but Brittany had already pressed play and was returning to curl up at her side.

The screen flickered to life and a menu screen featuring the most obnoxious teenager now adult Santana had ever known filled the screen, thankfully the background music was bereft of singing. Brittany selected the first Play All option before she could scan through all the horror in store for her and the screen flickered to a shot of Rachel sitting demurely backstage at some set or another with her trademark smile on her face. In all the years since she had seen the other woman a lot had changed, her hair was much shorter, her style was actually in fashion and it seemed she had grown an inch or two. However her grating talking voice, run-on sentences and grand hand gestures were all the same.

"Brittany and Santana, greetings and felicitations! As soon as I heard of your upcoming nuptials I panicked because unfortunately for the next few weeks I will be in Philadelphia performing and promoting a play by yours truly." She said it with an air of self pride that made Santana roll her eyes, she was going to comment, but Brittany predicted that and gave her arm a small pinch to keep her quiet, "But then I thought that if there is no way for me to be there physically, I could be there through film! But why should I be the only one to wish you well? So this is one of my gifts to the two of you! A Very Special Reminiscence of Brittany and Santana Glee Style!" shouted the over excited brunette.

The video cut immediately to Rachel once again sitting in what looked like her home bedroom looking calm and reflective, she rolled her eyes up to the ceiling in thought and sighed, "When I think back on Brittany and Santana in high school I think of two people who always walked with the red string of fate tying them together. It had never occurred to me to think of one without the other in any capacity. Once it was obvious that they had found love with one another I knew that marriage was inevitable at some point. Their romance reminds me of a similar occurrence in my new stage play _A Passion of Crime_." At that point she lifted a thick script and began to read, "Act three part one, Narrator, There is little to be said for their love because what more could be said? It spoke for itself louder than any words that could be spoken by the human mouth…"

Santana turned her most pleading pout on Brittany who didn't even have to look at her to get the message and clicked the next button. The image changed to a shot of Lauren looking like time had just forgotten about her, she looked as bored and haughty as she always had. As she folded a piece of paper she adjusted the camera absently and suddenly a confused expression crossed her face.

Looking up she crumpled the paper and tossed it over her shoulder, "Rachel has all these prepared questions and crap but I don't want to bother with all that. I guess she wants me to talk about you guys getting together and getting married and what not, but I'm going to be honest, I thought you already were. Like seriously. So, I dunno, congratulations on finally tying the knot. I do sincerely hope you have a happy life together. Peace." She said simply and the video cut to black.

The next image was of Sam, clearly recording off a laptop, holding a small boy that was either his son or a child he was watching that had been stung in the lips by a bee. They were sitting in what seemed to be a lavish living room that overlooked a skyline that was bit unusual.

"Hey guys! This is Evan." He said pointing to the child who waved enthusiastically.

"Only Sam would name his son Evan Evans…" Santana mumbled.

"I want to congratulate you on your engagement! Sorry I can't come down for the wedding but I am currently living in Italy with my family so we send our love instead. Um…" he looked down to a piece of paper that looked similar to what Lauren had been looking at, " 'When did you know Brittany and Santana were meant for each other?' " He looked up and grinned, "I don't know, it took me longer than anyone else to get how close you two were, but I always assumed you would at least be friends for life." Sam glanced down at the paper again and his mouth mimed the words on it and a small grin slid across his face, "Rachel wants me to share my favorite Brittany and Santana moment, but I got my little man here." He laughed. "Anyhow there is like a whole questionnaire here and I wasn't around long enough to answer even half of these questions. So I'll just say I may not have always known about what you shared but I'm glad you realized it. This is Sam and Evan sending you a heartfelt congratulations!"

Evan nodded, "Congra... congradjewlashuns." He said twisting his face with the effort.

Sam reached over and clicked off the camera turning the screen black before it came to life with an image of Kurt sitting in the same backstage area Rachel had been in. Santana found it oddly comforting to know those two still kept in touch. The flamboyant teen seemed to have only become more so with age… or he was in costume, it was hard to tell. She watched him straighten his immaculate hair and look down at the paper before him. After a moment he nodded and looked up at the camera.

"Kurt Hummel here wishing Santana and Brittany all the love and happiness the world can offer you. Finding the perfect someone in this world can be hard, but you two did it and that is no small feat. I know you both worked hard to get where you are and I cannot tell you how it makes my heart soar to know you're going to make it official. The moment I knew the two of you were meant to be together was almost right after I joined Glee club. I knew Santana as the coldest bitch to ever walk the earth and, let's be honest, at the time you were. At least to everyone but Brittany. When you were with her I could see a person who was not only caring and loving, but vulnerable and open, though that door shut the moment she wasn't the focus of your attention. And the longer you stayed together, the longer that door would stay open. I have to say Santana, marrying Brittany may be the smartest thing you ever do with your life. And Brittany, I don't know what made you stick it out that long, but I'm glad you did because I am sure Santana knows how lucky she is and will treat like you deserve to be treated; with the upmost love and respect." He said with a smile, one that vanished as he looked off screen where Rachel's distinct voice could be heard. "Oh." He added flatly, "I am to now recite something from Act one of _A Passion of Crime_." He said grabbing the script off the makeup table next to him.

Brittany hit next without having to be told, Mercedes was the next person up on screen and she looked fabulous in a sequined dress and diamond earrings. She, like Sam, was recording from a webcam and was dashing around her large bedroom as she spoke. It seemed like a lot had changed about her, but that could have been the fact that she had lost a lot of weight.

"Okay so I have been on an insane schedule the last few days and will be for a while but I had to take the time to send you two my best wishes." She said as she finally took the time to pause and sit in front of her computer. "I have no idea what the hell Rachel wants me to say, there are like forty something questions on her sheet and I don't have that kind of time, but I can say I knew you two were meant to be together by sophomore year when we would sit in Glee and you two would send each other those looks. You know those loving puppy eyes that made anyone looking feel damn near embarrassed to be intruding on. I guess my favorite Santana Brittany moment was Landslide… you know until Rachel ruined it. Anyway I really have to go and I honestly wish I had time to fly down and say this in person, but be happy and don't ever forget the love you obviously have for each other." She said and dashed off.

The screen was filled with the image of the empty bedroom before a loud off screen 'Oh!' was heard followed by increasingly loud footsteps before a hand slipped into view and turned off the camera.

The next person to appear on screen was Finn, he was sitting in an office of some sort and to Santana's surprise it didn't seem to be the interior of a car garage. His hair slightly longer, but styled in a businesslike manner and he wore a well tailored suit.

"Hey, Finn here." He said in his usual goofy manner as if all the upgrades to his station did nothing to hide the Ohio boy living inside, "Rachel called me and said you two were getting married, and I have to say that I'm so relieved to hear it. I sort of thought things ended on a weird note with you two at the end of senior year and it's good to know I was wrong, I don't think the world would make much sense if people that were as made for each other as you two didn't get together at some point. I'm managing the whole Hummel Garage chain now so I'm a little bogged down, but if you ever need some work on your car we have Florida locations and it's on me." He looked down at the paper Rachel had sent and sighed, "Um… I don't know when I knew you two were meant to be together… by the time it was a question it wasn't even a question if you know what I mean." He stared at the paper again for a long moment and tossed it on his desk, "All I really want to say is congratulations and have a happy life together, because it was obviously meant to be." He gave his sideways smile, stood and shut off his camera.

Rachel reappeared on the screen still beaming, "The other members of glee were harder to track down and others didn't have a camera or some sort of recording device that could send you their best wishes. However I emailed all of them and Tina and Blaine send their love and best wishes. I would like to close this with a passage from Act two of _A Passion of Crime_…"

Brittany skipped again bringing them back to the main menu and Puck grinned at them, "Pretty awesome right?"

The blonde nodded, "That was super nice of Rachel to find everyone."

"Why did we skip the _Passion of Crime_ parts?" Carla asked.

Santana rolled her eyes, "That was just Rachel's way of being Rachel, you have to ignore it if you don't plan to kill her."

"I think it's nice she wrote her own play." She replied.

"It's too bad she couldn't find everyone." Puck said standing to return the DVD to its case.

"Well Rory and Artie already sent me congratulations." Brittany said leaving Santana gaping.

"You still talk to them?"

She nodded, "Only through facebook since Rory is back in Ireland and Artie is living in Europe. He moves all around there so it's the only way anyone can really keep in contact with him." When Santana wrenched on her 'I'm not jealous' face, immediately showing that she totally was, Brittany leaned in and kissed her on the neck whispering, "Calm down we only chat occasionally online and he has been happily married for the past four years."

Santana wanted to protest and say she hadn't been at all threatened by Artie's continued presence in her life, but she was entirely too relieved by her fiancée's words to express that.

"I need a refill." Puck said shaking his empty beer bottle and jumping up to go to the kitchen.

Santana still had a half full bottle, but got up and followed him anyway to hide her obvious relief, saying a swift, 'Me too.' And vanishing before anyone could note that.

When she arrived, Puck was already inside the refrigerator, he came out with a Heineken instead of a Budweiser and started back to the living room until he spotted Santana and stopped, "What?"

"Did you know she still talked to Artie?" she asked keeping her voice low.

"No. Does it matter?"

"It doesn't but… I sort of thought they broke up over me."

"I don't want to be Finn and walk over to pet the elephant in the room that everyone is ignoring but you do know it is possible to break up with someone without… you know… breaking them."

"Yeah…" she said looking at the floor.

"Don't go getting emo on me here, you are not about to let the high school shit get to you again."

"I'm not." She said seriously, "Besides I have enough to worry about. The wedding is in five days and I'm pretty sure my mom is holding my dress hostage."

Before Puck could respond, Mike dipped in grinning from ear to ear, "We're going to set up the karaoke machine up in Britt's studio so come on down when you're ready." He said and slipped back out.

Santana stared wide eyed at the space where he had been for a long moment before she turned to Puck, "Wait, who brought a karaoke machine?"

"I said I brought goodies. Plural. Karaoke is Rachel's other wedding gift to you two, but your fiancée couldn't wait until you got back to tear into the sparkly paper."

Santana wanted to put an end to any shenanigans that were bound to start when mixing alcohol, singing and dancing, but by the time she made it downstairs Brittany and Mike already had an iPod docked on top and were getting ready to sing _Mr. Roboto_.

Resigned, she sat on the floor by her mother who occupied one of the few chairs and watched the others dance expertly around the room while belting out the dated song.

"So Santana have you found a dress yet." Carla asked casually after a particularly impressive spin by Brittany.

She had been so wrapped up in watching the blonde move it took a moment for the question to sink in, when it did she cut her eyes to the side knowing full well where this was headed, "Not yet I was thinking about going naked." She was being defiant and they both knew it was pointless.

"Oh, well I have found this nice little lavender number." Carla said coyly bringing her beer to her lips and taking a long drag.

"Wouldn't be the one from the store we visited would it?"

Her mother frowned tapping a finger on her chin, "I don't know, we visited so many..."

"Look I know you bought the dress and I know you want me to admit you were right so yeah, okay, I want it."

"Want what? _My_ dress? Surely not because, as you said, there was no way _your_ dress was in that first shop."

"Mom." Santana warned.

"Just say the words 'Mommy you were right. I think the dress you picked was perfect and it would mean the world to me to wear it at my wedding.' "

"You're drunk."

"This is my third beer, I am not drunk, but you might be if you think you're getting off the hook so easily."

Seeing Puck working his way down the stairs with his bag serving as a temporary alcohol carrying case she knew that she had better swallow her pride now while everyone else was distracted rather than being forced later when Puck was all drunk and obnoxious. Plus later Mike and Brittany might be around to hear the groveling and that wouldn't do.

"Mommy you were right." She growled dangerously.

Carla frowned and leaned down a little, "Sorry what? I can't here you over the music, you need to speak up, and I don't think you said the whole thing just then."

Deciding to get it over in a rush Santana raised her voice just enough to keep it from totally overpowering the music, "Mommy you were right! I think the dress you picked was perfect and it would mean the world to me to wear it at my wedding!"

To her horror the music had stopped the moment she opened her mouth, a feeling made worse when she saw her mother was holding the remote for the karaoke machine, "Sorry, I couldn't hear Santana, please continue." She said sweetly to Mike and Brittany as she turned the music back on.

Mike had the decency to hide his amusement, but Puck almost dropped all the beer laughing so hard. Brittany gave her a pitying look, giggling nonetheless, and her mother burst out in a laugh to rival Puck's at the look on her face. Seeing that, Santana had no choice, but to laugh too.

Quite a few beers later Mike talked Carla into a dancing with him while Brittany and Santana sang _Head Over Feet_, a duet that nearly pushed pleasantly drunk Santana to weepy drunk Santana. However Brittany was able to whisper a few racy suggestions in her ear and the weepy part flew away. Three beers later Santana didn't feel like crying at all anymore, but she did need to sit down and she plopped down next to Puck who had earned a break after performing three back to back Creed songs, a choice she could only assume had been inspired by the alcohol.

"Know what?" he asked watching Brittany and Mike trying to show Carla how to Dougie.

"What?"

"Somethin's weird with Britt and this whole wedding."

Her attention totally refocused on him, his words sobering her slightly, "How?"

"I…" he shrugged and shook his head, "Okay seriously don't get all teary eyed and I don't want to start petting the elephant again, but when I said that to you 'bout Artie I started thinking about what happened and… I mean, **and do **_**not**_** get weepy on me over this**," he stressed again looking somewhat steadily at her, "but with her taking you back a year ago and the wedding being a month after the proposal… don't it seem a little… desperate?" He tiptoed around his words as if she would, despite his warnings, burst out into tears at any moment.

"How is it desperate?" Santana asked not following his logic well enough to even consider getting emotional over it.

"It's like she wants to marry you as soon as possible 'cause she thinks you'll bolt again if she waits."

She frowned, "Britt knows I wouldn't…" but her voice trailed off as she looked at the woman across the room from her. They both knew Brittany did have reservations about her.

"I know you're in it for real, but she's got to be a little worried."

"It doesn't matter, we're getting married in a few days and it'll fix any worries she has about us, if there even are any." _There are and you know it_.

"Will it?" the question seemed aimed more at himself than anything, "Look Santana, I want you two 't be happy more than anyone else okay? I am all aboard the wedding train and I ordered a tux for the special day right when I got home from my last visit, but if a thousand and one failed romances have taught me anything it's leaving stuff like this unresolved can only lead to more shit."

"We've talked about it, so don't worry your pretty little head about it."

"Really? You actually talked to her about what happened? You had a serious and real discussion about it?"

His words hit hard because she remembered a similar conversation with Quinn in a park in another world, "She told me how much I hurt her and I apologized but…"

"Then you need to nip it in the butt."

"What makes you so sure it's not enough?"

"Because I know I need to have the same talk with Quinn if we're going to be serious." He said and drained his bottle before opening another.

Not knowing what to say to that she looked back at Brittany, the blonde was choosing a new song and threw Santana a smile when she saw her staring, "She doesn't even like bringing it up, I mean it's something we're working past not dwelling on." she said feeling agitated with herself for managing to create this situation twice. That she needed to get through to Brittany and solve a hurt she didn't know how to heal all over again.

"You can't move on from something until you've dealt with it first Santana. It's like moving from Canada to the States if you've never been to Canada. Impossible."

Santana frowned at the analogy for a moment before she understood the truth of it, "So I should… what? Make her sit down and tell me all about how hurt she was?" She asked hoping he could offer more advice than Quinn had in Ohio.

Puck rolled his eyes, "That sounds awful. I think you should sit her down 'n get her to tell you what it is that is bothering her _now_. It can't be the exact same thing that was buggin' her then."

There was silence between them before Santana admitted, "She did say she trusted me in her heart but her head was saying something different."

"You need to get her to tell you exactly what's running around in her head."

Santana looked out at the others as Carla declined another offer to dance and plopped wearily back into her chair. Brittany laughed and for some reason that joy reminded her of all the sorrow she had caused and her eyes started to water, at least they did before her whole body was rocked by a hard punch to the arm.

"Son of a…" she yelped.

"I told you not to get weepy." Puck said pointing slightly off to the right of her.

"I'm over here you ape. It's a wonder you didn't kill me with your aim that off."

He nodded, "I was aiming for your boob."

* * *

><p>AN:

So to answer a question that has come up in a few pm's and a review or two: Q - Is Hailey's crush going to come up in the Florida timeline? A – Nope.

Mentioning it in the Ohio timeline was a way to let you know that there was a little something more behind Hailey's irritation at Santana without making it into one more thing for the poor woman to deal with. Besides I have a lot more in store for her that will be much more riveting. That leads me to say that soon we will start spending more time in the Florida timeline as there is more that needs to be covered there. A few people have requested I drop the Ohio one and some aren't all that interested in Florida but I do my best to keep both interesting (and have a few people admit to eventually liking both –made me super happy-) and I use each one to help tell the story of the other. I don't know if anyone's noticed, but Ohio has tons of foreshadowing… ANYWAY off to write the next chapter.

BTW as it turns out my laptop needs to go back in the shop _however_ it should only be for a day or two and shouldn't really affect my update schedule. I hope…

Positive feedback lets me know what I'm doing right **_constructive_ **criticism lets me know what I'm doing wrong. I listen to both :)


	12. Florida Santana Part 6

**Miami, Florida**

The night of their impromptu party Santana had let Puck's words rattle around in her brain, but decided it was a bad idea to bring up such a heavy topic when they were both so drunk. The next morning Santana had a day full of business she had to attend to before her self approved vacation so by the time she got home that night Brittany was already asleep and she didn't see the point in waking her.

They both had the next day off, but it was so rare that they got a whole day to just be together, she didn't want to spoil it. They were able to sleep the morning away cuddling and spent their afternoon at a bistro feeding one another while talking about all the things they planned to do on their honeymoon. From first thing in the morning to the moment they set foot back in the house it was the most romantic day they had spent together in a long time and by that night she started to think that Puck was wrong. Sure they had never been to Canada, but they were doing fine. Granted she couldn't quite remember how the country fit into things, but recalled that he had mentioned it at some point.

Santana got ready for bed while Brittany showered and mulled over the events of the day finding peace in her decision to let things be. However when she moved to pull back the covers she saw her bracelet sitting on the nightstand and in that moment she felt her head clear. She was avoiding the hard parts again just like in Ohio. Avoidance and excuses were her go-to moves and she had been doing so well with fixing that, but they were hard habits to break. If she wanted a real future with Brittany she would have to deal with this and she knew it. This was a mandatory conversation, especially if they planned on bringing children into the mix.

She stood quietly thinking when Brittany came back in and bounced onto the bed pulling her out of her thoughts by tugging her down with her. Santana fell victim to memory erasing kisses and would have lost her resolve for good if Brittany hadn't spoken.

"Rachel called to ask how we liked the karaoke machine." She mumbled in between kisses to Santana's collarbone.

"Baby, can you never say her name while we're making out?"

"Hmmm, I guess. So _she_ also said we should spend the day before the wedding apart." Brittany nipped at Santana's pulse point and the Latina had to fight to hold onto the topic.

"Right okay… wait whoa why?" she said scrambling away from the other woman, needing the space between them to keep her coherence.

"_She_ said it would make it more romantic when we see each other on our wedding day. I think it would be too..."

It was there in that pause that Santana could see the hesitation in her eyes. She saw a flash of the hurt that had been so prominent in the eyes of the same blue eyed blonde in Lima, and she knew she had to press on.

"But what?"

"I just don't want to be apart from you." She said, her voice filling with false cheer in order to lighten the mood.

Santana crawled closer and placed a hand on Brittany's knee, "Tell me." She said and she knew the other woman understood her request.

"It's nothing Santana."

"You're afraid I'll leave if I'm by myself for a night?" It wasn't said with accusation or hurt, it was a question and nothing more.

"No." she said quickly, "I already told you I forgive you and-"

Santana placed her hands on the sides of Brittany's face to force eye contact, "Tell me what you're thinking. Honestly. Please."

"I, I don't think it matters. I have all kinds of things running around in my head." She said evasively and tried to slip out of Santana's hands to break the gaze.

Refusing to release her she inched closer, "It matters. I promise I won't be hurt or cry about it. I know you trust me but there is something in you that is afraid and I want you to tell me."

Brittany took Santana's hands from her face and placed them in her lap playing with her lover's palms as she spoke, "Doesn't this all seem a little familiar?" she asked quietly.

Santana gave a look of confusion prompting Brittany to continue.

"This. Everything, I mean it's in a different context but it's the same. The part where you come to me and make me believe you love me and everything can be different if I just give you a chance. Then when I do, you-" she paused to take a deep breath. "This just feels like prom waiting to happen all over again and it's the most terrifying thing I think I've ever felt."

"I'm not leaving." She said again because she wasn't going to apologize, that would only make Brittany feel the need to placate her and keep her from becoming upset. No matter what, she had to be the stronger of the two of them, at least this once.

"I know you aren't."

"You don't. You feel I won't but you think I will and you have every right to."

She shook her head, "You've been wonderful to me."

"Lately. I did something horrible in the past and there is no reason you wouldn't think I would do it again. But everything is different now, I don't care what anyone thinks about me or us. The only person who has an opinion I care about is you."

She nodded heavily obviously fighting tears, "I understand all of that."

"But it's still scary."

Brittany nodded again, "I need to let it go, but every time I try I think about how badly I was hurt last time and how devastating it would be to be totally blindsided by that again."

"And not just at the wedding. At any point in our marriage." Santana said picking up the unspoken words.

An apologetic look crossed Brittany's face as she glanced up, "You left so suddenly and so totally. I knew you may end up too scared to come out right away and I thought maybe you would want to date me and it might be a struggle to get you to tell anyone. It never occurred to me when I danced with you that you had it in you to not only turn me down, but turn your back on everything we had. It wasn't even a worst case option and I'm still mad about it. Maybe more than my family is, and I think it's part of why I got so upset at them, because they were showing me all the things inside me I was trying to bury. I have honestly forgiven you but I remember all those years of sitting up at night wondering what I did to make you totally abandon me and all the time I spent hating myself because I was sure it was something I did. After a while I got angry about it, all of it, but I still loved you. And when you came back I just wanted all the negative feelings to go away because if they came out I thought they might scare you away again and no matter how I feel about the past I want to be with you more."

Santana discovered that Brittany's simple unemotional statement of facts cut far deeper than her family's accusatory words, but she wouldn't let the other woman know that. She owed Brittany this, she owed it to her to sit and listen to what she had caused.

"You can be angry or whatever else you need to be, I want to be with you too and I'm not ever leaving you again. I promise I'll find a way to earn your trust back." She said with conviction, she had made the same promise to Brittany's other self and had managed to make major repairs on that colossal damage. She was sure she could pull off the same miracle in her own world.

"You shouldn't have to. After I agreed to marry you it should be settled, the past is done, and I have no reason to still be upset, I'm just being ridiculous and I don't know how to stop."

"You're not ridiculous, you feel how you feel and I love you regardless. We don't have to spend the night apart if it makes you nervous. I'll stay with you the whole time."

"I want to." She said resolutely her eyes suddenly burning with determination, "You won't leave, and I won't worry another second about it. I can let it go." It seemed that she wasn't even talking to Santana anymore.

Before she could reply Brittany kissed her heavily, pushing the smaller woman beneath her on the bed and Santana let her. Feeling the need to be delicate, Santana slowly removed her nightgown praising every inch of skin her fingers passed over with gentle caresses. By the time she had removed the garment she had managed to work Brittany up enough for herself to lose patience for foreplay. With loving care she brushed long blonde hair out of her lover's face and looked easily into blue eyes as she slipped two fingers inside of her.

Of the reactions she had expected, Brittany bursting into tears had not been one.

Startled and more than a little scared, she tried to pull back but Brittany held her hand still, "Don't stop." She said through her tears.

Santana was going to, despite her request, but when she looked into those eyes again she could see so much that she had missed before. All of her fear and anguish, the pain of struggling alone with these thoughts and the stress of starting a life with someone she worried may leave her forever. Santana could see all of it in her eyes and she also saw that the tears weren't from physical pain, Brittany was letting her worries go, all of them, for good. There was no safety net, she wasn't going to brace for a wakeup call, she was just going to implicitly trust the person who had wounded her so deeply before and the notion was enough to bring her to tears.

Santana kissed her deeply and gently trying to put as much reassurance as she could into it. When they broke apart Brittany looked into her eyes, tears flowing freely, "Please don't break my heart. I couldn't live through it twice."

"I won't I promise. I love you so much Brittany." She replied instantly.

Santana pulled her closer and kissed and nipped at her ear as she whispered love and comfort to her while moving her fingers slowly. As Brittany's breathing grew more erratic and ragged she moved faster within her, wondering how in the hell had she ever been lucky enough to find someone this loving. More importantly how she had been allowed a second chance with her after foolishly throwing the first one away. Brittany was handing her the power to utterly destroy her, and Santana knew she would rather die than betray that trust.

Moving faster she made Brittany a panting gasping mess and when she came, her walls clenched so tightly around Santana's fingers she could barely move them. The blonde's hands fisted clumps of the bed sheets as her voice was lost in them as Santana brought her slowly down off her high.

Going limp, Brittany did her best to move off Santana but couldn't as the smaller woman held her in place, so she lay there in Santana's arms until she felt strong enough to move on her own. She tried to give Santana her own release but was prevented, stopped by strong sure hands, and before she could protest she heard her smooth voice in her ear.

"I'm fine Britt. Go to sleep."

"I would, but I don't want to crush you." She laughed wearily.

"You won't, trust me."

"I do trust you." Brittany said, her eyes suddenly deathly serious.

Santana smiled back at her, "I know." She said pulling her closer and yanking the comforter over both of them.

* * *

><p>The next morning was full of alternating between slow languid kisses and holding each other in a silence that the two of them easily communicated through, though in between those moments Brittany had repaid Santana in kind for the previous night. They both had prior engagements that they called out of so they could have the morning alone together, and though they had slept in the previous morning this time was totally different. There was a warming peace that hadn't been present the first time. Santana could read Brittany so much easier now that there wasn't a grey cloud of insecurity masking most of her feelings. For the first time she felt they had emotionally surpassed their previous relationship, they were madly in love and there was no more uncertainty about their future together.<p>

Looking over at the nightstand Santana saw her bracelet once again and a fond smile spread over her face. Knowing now was as good a time as any she spun around in Brittany's arms and placed a tender kiss on the bridge of her nose.

"Hey Britt-Britt?"

"Yeah?" she replied sleepily, nuzzling into Santana's chest.

"I was wondering… when do you think we should start a family? I know you want to wait until after the show finishes its run, but how long after?"

Brittany laughed and held Santana closer to her, "We haven't even had the wedding rehearsal yet and you want to talk about kids?"

"You think it's too soon?" she asked already berating herself for pushing too much again.

Looking up into her worried brown eyes, Brittany shook her head, "Not at all, I'm sort of surprised you want children so much."

"It sort of surprised me too." She said honestly.

Shifting their position so that Santana was laying partially on top of her, Brittany began to busy her hands straightening Santana's sex hair, "Well I suppose after the play is over it'll be reasonable for me to take some time off. And knowing this far in advance will let me give Mike a head's up and we can look for someone to replace me for a while. Unless you wanted to have the baby." She said suddenly realizing that she had been making a rather serious assumption.

Shaking her head she smiled unable to contain her joy at seeing her dream come true, "I would love for you to have our baby."

Brittany smiled back, "You know I would love that for you too."

Santana stared blankly for a second, "You would?"

"Definitely."

"But… wait really?" It was baffling to her to figure out how this part of her life had changed, the other Brittany had seemed so content to have all of their children. When they had been planning for their third, the idea of Santana having it never even came up. Though it was possible for her other self to have already had a discussion with her on the subject it had just been her assumption that in Ohio Brittany had _wanted_ to have all the kids.

"Yes, why is that hard to believe?" she laughed.

"I don't know, I never thought about it." And she hadn't. Her entire fixation was getting everything as close to her Ohio life as she could, a variation in the plan on this scale was a little nerve wracking.

Seeing her reluctance, Brittany kissed her gently to regain her attention, "I do want to have our first, but think about it for the future?"

"I can do that."

* * *

><p>Where the morning had been spent with them together loving each other alone in the privacy of their bedroom, the afternoon held no such pleasures. They had to struggle to pull themselves out of bed and dress quickly to make it to their wedding rehearsal, one that had been pushed to later in the day to accommodate for all the meetings and appointments that neither had gone to.<p>

As soon as they arrived, they were separated by the chaos of their upcoming ceremony. Brittany was swept away by the wedding planner who had several last minute questions and finalizations. Santana had tried to follow but her mother had gotten ahold of her and made her greet several cousins who had somehow been invited. Afterwards, Puck had shown her around the chapel which was decorated in a pretty standard fashion. Santana had been expecting something wild given Brittany's particular tastes in decorations, but it was all quite normal, though far more up to date and colorful than the Hummel wedding had been.

It wasn't until she saw the reception area that she was able to figure out where all of Brittany's attentions had gone. The room was set up with an indefinable theme that was a mix between tropical and disco, and not in a bad way. The dance floor was, of course, the focal point of the room and was comprised of plexiglas over white squares of light that reminded her of the dance floor from _Saturday Night Fever_. In between the brightly clothed tables were palm trees with lights hanging between them lighting the room with a multicolored glow. Everything was still being set up, but Santana could tell the room would be a sight to behold once it was done. She could also tell she was going to be forced to dance whether she liked it or not.

By the end of the tour and the rehearsal it was late afternoon and Santana was worn out, she had immediately gone to look for Brittany, but couldn't find her anywhere. Since she was unable to find her fiancée she opted to look for Puck to recruit him in her search but couldn't find him either. After questioning several people who hadn't seen them she began to worry. However moments later she received a text that relieved her at first, and frustrated her immediately afterwards.

**Staying with Puck until the wedding, see you at the altar ;) – Britt-Britt**

Her mouth opened and closed pointlessly at her phone before she scrambled to call the other woman only to end up with her voicemail every time. Failing that, she called Puck who thankfully picked up on the first ring.

"You got Puck."

"Tell Brittany to answer her phone." She said ignoring his ridiculous intro.

She could hear her fiancée's voice in the background which was followed by Puck saying, "She can't, it would defeat the purpose of splitting up."

"Talking to each other isn't the same as seeing each other."

She heard him repeat her words and get a reply, "Rachel said no contact."

"I am going to _murder_ that fuzzy toed hobbit!" she snapped, "And don't repeat that!"

"Doesn't matter, you yelled loud enough so she heard it anyway and she says you won't do any such thing because Rachel has been very nice to both of you." He sounded like a child being forced to relay messages between parents.

"Tell her she could have at least said goodbye!"

"She says she sent a text."

"After I spent thirty minutes looking for her!"

The pause was longer than usual and she heard a lot of back and forth between Brittany and Puck before he spoke again, "She says she's sorry and will make it up to you later. The tone implies something sex related and I asked for her to be more detailed about the apology, but got nothing."

Santana couldn't fight the smile on her face, "Tell her I love her and I miss her already."

He did and she could imagine Brittany's face and the way her eyes sparkled every time she told her, "You owe me for the sappy stuff."

"Consider it a lesson on how not to be a d-bag to a lady Puckerman." She said and he gave a chuckle in response.

"Whatever, but if you get horny or something I would be more than happy to help you guys with a little phone sex."

"I'm going to tell Quinn you said that."

"I was kidding!" he yelped.

Santana laughed a true and hard laugh at the immediate urgency of his response.

* * *

><p>Since the day had been tiring once Santana got home she flopped directly onto the bed fell right to sleep. The sleep allowed her to black out and have nothing on her mind, but when she woke early the next morning, every moment was filled with thoughts of a blue eyed blonde that wasn't there and the nervousness that came naturally with a momentous occasions such as marriage. Yet without sleep as a buffer seconds dragged out into days and after about thirty minutes Santana thought she might go insane.<p>

To distract herself she spent the better part of the day out at the gym and once she returned, started in on all the work she had put aside to be dealt with once she came back from her honeymoon. After she had finished all that could be dealt with she lay on the couch and watched television. At least she did until she realized all she was doing was staring at a screen and wishing Brittany was there with her.

Deciding not to mope around she grabbed her coat and drove until she found a Waffle House. Since Brittany preferred IHOP it had been a long time since she had been, making it a perfect place to avoid wallowing over the other woman's absence.

Her waitress was a redhead who smiled at her a little too eagerly for her own liking. She ordered a steak and egg platter and waited patiently as the woman returned far more than was ever necessary to see if her Sprite needed a refill. Santana resolved to remain pleasant as she was probably working double time for her tip, but when her food came there was a lingering touch that made her brow furrow. She turned to say something to the girl and realized for the first time how much younger than her she was.

The words she was going to say died on her lips and they just stared at each other in a way that Santana was quite sure should have been inappropriate but somehow it wasn't.

"You look pretty stressed." The girl said, her voice was light and airy.

"I'm getting married tomorrow."

Her eyes widened slightly, "That is one lucky man."

"Woman actually." She didn't know why she was having this conversation, her brain was running down the checklist of all the ways she could and should have ended the conversation by now.

"So what are you doing here alone?"

"Trying not to think about her." She answered, and now her head was absolutely blaring with alarm.

Why in the hell had she said that, and in that way? It made no sense, she wasn't interested in this kid and even if she were for some bizarre reason there was no way in hell anything would happen between them.

"I get off in fifteen minutes. What if you finish your food then I help you forget?" she asked, her tone left no room for mistaking her intent.

"I'd like that." The words could not have possibly have come out of her mouth because they were so far from making sense.

While she ate, her insides raged furiously at her behavior and she vowed that the moment the waitress approached again she would set her straight, but several Sprite refills later it hadn't happened. And when she paid her bill, tipping generously, they left together with her still not having said a word, reproachful or otherwise.

They drove off in Santana's car to her house, talking casually the whole way there about how nice it was to live in Florida. A conversation she was only half invested in because she was too busy wigging out internally as to why in the hell she was taking this person to her home.

It was like they were old friends by the time they made it back to her place and they stayed up most of the night continuing to talk, even if the talk was a little flirtatious. Santana was still having a meltdown, but on the upside she wasn't depressed anymore.

It was her assumption that they had talked well into the small hours of the morning because when she woke the next day she couldn't remember going to bed. Opening her eyes she saw she was in her own bed and when she turned around she found the waitress was there as well. Shocked Santana scrambled out of the bed crashing loudly to the floor. The sound woke the girl who sat up startled and looked over to where she had fallen.

"You alright?" she asked through a yawn.

"No!" Santana yelled already starting to get dizzy from the rapid breaths she was taking, "What the fuck are you doing in my bed?"

The girl frowned and then her eyes widened in understanding, "Right, you're getting married today. I should go then."

She stood and Santana saw to her horror that the redhead wasn't wearing a damn thing and neither was she. A wave of nausea almost made her lose everything she had eaten the previous night on the floor.

"Wait we didn't…"

A high laugh drifted to her ears, "What? Have sex? No we just got naked and told each other ghost stories. Look I'm not going to blackmail you or anything, call last night whatever you want, but it was fun." She said and began to fish her clothes off the floor.

"Hold on, er…" Santana's jaw dropped as she realized she didn't even know this girl's name.

"Cool your jets I'm leaving I have to be back for my three o'clock shift anyway and I've already been late three times this week."

"Three o'clock." She said dryly as she glanced at her bedside clock.

It was indeed almost three. Her wedding was supposed to have started at eight that morning.

Cursing furiously, she threw on her clothes faster than the girl who had gotten a head start and flew out the door and to her car, her heart pounding furiously. She did not understand what the hell was happening. Countless theories arose in her head, everything from being in _another_ alternate reality to being the victim of another drugging. But she stopped her speculation realizing none of it fixed the fact that she had missed the most important appointment of her life.

Her car spun into an ominously empty parking lot and was barely in park before she went tearing into church and began her frantic search for the woman who should have been her wife hours ago. She found her in the chapel sitting on the steps crying softly as her father consoled her, when she approached the sound caught his attention first. Upon seeing her he stood and advanced in a way that made her think he was going to hit her but Brittany's voice stopped him.

When the blonde stood and approached she saw all the hurt from her Ohio self mirrored and multiplied making her chest ache. She opened her mouth to say something, but what in the hell could she even say? Sorry was so far from appropriate it wasn't even funny.

As Santana struggled with her words she was surprised to be pulled into a tight hug, "I'm glad you're okay." Brittany said into her shoulder, "I thought you had gotten hurt or something."

"I'm fine but, Brittany I'm so sorry I overslept and –"

Without letting her go she leaned back and looked deep into her eyes, "It's fine. I think it might be for the best. Better this happen now then after several years of marriage and children to think about. Let's just agree that it wasn't meant to be alright?" she wasn't crying but she couldn't have looked more mortally wounded even if she started. A breakdown was quavering behind her words and Santana's heart seemed to constrict with every one.

"B-but…" she wanted to plead and argue but there was probably still a nameless chick dressing for the walk of shame from their bedroom back home. It was bad when she didn't even feel she deserved to defend herself.

"I'll always love you Santana but I can't be with you. You hurt me too much."

With that Brittany let her go and turned to leave and in that instant Santana knew she had lost her chance and everything inside her seemed to wither away. It was too painful to watch happen so she rallied all of her strength and yelled for her to come back so that she could explain, even though she couldn't. But her voice wasn't strong enough, it was distant and foreign in her own ears and totally incapable of reaching Brittany, so she yelled louder and louder until she choked on the sound.

It was at that moment Santana woke and realized she was still on her couch in her house yelling at no one. She sat up in a cold sweat and grabbed her phone frantically to find that it was midnight and her wedding was still eight hours away. Taking a deep relieved breath she flopped back down onto the couch and tried to calm her racing heart.

It had been a stupid ridiculous dream, but she had thought it was real and it made her feel far closer to a heart attack than anyone of her age had any business feeling. Unable and unwilling to fall back asleep she went to the kitchen for a glass of water to try and calm her frayed nerves. While taking long calming gulps she went to the bedroom to make sure it was devoid of any redheaded waitresses. It was obviously empty, but she checked it, the closet and the bathroom anyway out of sheer paranoia.

She knew what she needed to get back to sleep, but Brittany wasn't there and she didn't want to ruin everything by running over to her hotel in a panic. However, with the possibility of another nightmare sleep continued to elude her for another hour leaving her to decide to compromise and call Puck.

The phone rang several times before the man picked up.

"You got Puck." he said sleepily.

"Stop that. It's totally lame."

"No, you not being able to make it a whole day without your handler is lame. She's asleep anyway so no phone sex."

Santana bit her lip nervously, "I really need to talk to her."

"I can wake her up if it's an emergency-"

"No." She said not wanting Brittany to think something was wrong, "Could… could you just put the phone close to her so I can hear her breathe?" she squinted knowing that he wouldn't be able to let that go without comment.

The line was silent for a long time, "You're kidding."

"Nope."

"I don't even have words for this. I think you're making me grow ovaries with your overflow of estrogen right now."

"Please? You can give me shit for it later, but only under the condition that you don't tell her."

"Oh I will, and I want the grill I got you back, consider _this_ your wedding present."

"Yeah, yeah, put her on."

A small bit of grumbling later and she soon heard soft even breathing on the other end, laying back into bed she put the phone on speaker, and placed it next to her. After nervously checking the alarm clock twice, she was finally able to relax and allow herself to fall into a deep dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>AN: So at my old college we had this thing where even if you passed all your classes, if you didn't show up on the last day to show your portfolio you failed. Period. You do not pass go you do not collect $200. Even if your grades were stellar and your family had already flown in to see you walk and get your diploma you miss that one three hour block you fail.

The night before I was dead tired from the rigorous six month long nonstop HELL that had been putting the portfolio together but when I tried to sleep I kept having dreams that I woke up late or that my data had all been erased. I even had a dream that my computer caught on fire and woke up to find that I was still dreaming because all my printed work had been dipped in chocolate.

After that bout of Inception I just grabbed a Full Throttle and played the Sims until it was time to go. I was jittery and miserable the next day but I graduated.

The sad part was I wasn't the only person who had it happen and now I have passed the gift to Santana XP

Thank you to everyone who has fav'ed, story alerted, reviewed, pm'ed and emailed. It means a lot and keeps me going.


	13. Ohio Santana Part 7

**Lima, Ohio**

Santana grunted as Brittany pushed her uncomfortably hard against the shelves in the back corner of the garage. The movement had caused a shift in the paint cans that rested on it and it threatened the stability of the shelf on the whole, but neither of them cared at the moment. They had fifteen minutes, _maybe_, to pull this off. Violet and Ella were playing in their room and Aurora was finally down for her nap, if they played their cards correctly they could make it through this one time without being interrupted. It had been four months since their youngest had been born and Santana had counted the days until it was okay for them to be intimate again. A pointless countdown as it turned out because between work, the baby and their other two children there was no time for such activities. Whenever they tried one of their kids, usually Violet or Aurora, would break it up, and when they managed to hoodwink someone into babysitting all three they would end up spending the time catching up on all of the sleep they missed.

They hardly saw each other during the day anymore as Brittany was either taking the children to various school events or working out to regain her pre pregnancy body, and Santana handled the other half of the girl's school obligations combined with work and having papers and routines to go over at home. When they did see one another it was in passing or when they went to bed where it was a race to get to sleep before Aurora began her late night demands. The lack of contact was what had spurred Brittany to pull her wife into the garage and begin to kiss her silly while totally ignoring the fact that they were surrounded by paint, rusty tools and unlabeled dusty boxes. It was also what made Santana not care that she came about sixty seconds after Brittany started touching her, if anything she felt like a winner because with the blonde's leg rocking between hers, she was sprinting for seconds and loving it.

Brittany kissed her hard again making her lean further on the shelf and the paint cans that had held on so diligently crashed to the ground. Santana giggled and Brittany gave her a warning look to be quiet, she hardly saw how it mattered as the cans were still rolling on the ground but she kept her amusement to herself. While her left hand was busy making Brittany moan quietly into her ear her right moved up her wife's hips to her recently reformed abs, she paused to note how the muscles there were even more defined than they had been before the baby, and continued up to her breasts. Well she would have anyway but her hand was swatted away from its target.

"Don't." Was all Brittany was able to get out in between her gasps for air.

Santana growled in frustration, Brittany always made her breasts a no fly zone when she was nursing which was incredibly frustrating as they were twice their normal size and calling her name. Deciding not to dwell on it she grabbed a handful of hair and forced Brittany to expose her neck and purposefully marked the delicate flesh. The action made the blonde lurch forward pushing her leg into Santana in just the right way, and just like that she was gone. Gritting her teeth she doubled her efforts to make the other woman follow, and was soon rewarded by a muffled whine as Brittany trembled violently in her arms. Exhausted, they leaned against each other for support before trying to disentangle and straighten their clothes.

"I think we have ten more minutes, we could go again." Brittany panted.

Santana chuckled, "I was dead tired _before_ you dragged me in here, we go again I think I might just be dead."

"Come on who knows when we'll get this chance again." She purred, kissing Santana's ear making her lover shiver.

"Well I've never been a quitter."

They kissed again, more slowly now that the need for release wasn't as pressing, Santana moved forward, finally dislodging her back from the shelf, and spun Brittany around to switch their positions. In their earlier haste they had left their clothes intact for the most part, though both looked quite rumpled neither was undressed, and Santana planned to rectify that. Never breaking their kiss she went to remove Brittany's already unfastened jeans but the sound of the door to the garage opening made her stop.

Both women turned to see Ella staring blankly at their compromising position, "Uh, Aurora's crying." She said before turning swiftly and closing the door behind her.

Santana sighed heavily and Brittany let her head thump back against the wall saying, "So much for that."

When she moved to go back inside Santana gave her a quick kiss and shook her head, "I'll feed her, there are still some bottles in the fridge, you need to worry about that neck." She said grinning.

Brittany frowned looking for a reflective surface to see herself in while Santana went back inside. After a splash of cold water to cool down she went to the bedroom to collect Aurora from her crib. The infant looked around with wide eyes that, despite Santana's prediction, still flowed effortlessly from blue to green in the light.

Once in her mother's arms the baby ceased crying as if she knew her issues were being addressed and there was no need to complain further, something Santana appreciated thoroughly. Making sure not to disappoint she carried her straight to the kitchen.

It wasn't exactly surprising to see Ella already there with a bottle in her hand already heated to the appropriate temperature, it was a bit embarrassing though given how she had been caught in a compromising position by the girl again. However it was admittedly better that she be caught with the person she was actually married to this time.

Taking the bottle she moved to the couch and Ella followed silently, it was her habit to watch over Aurora at every available turn and made a point of being present for every feeding and changing, as if to miss one would truly be something horrible. She had taken her newly appointed role of big sister to heart and monitored the infant like she was getting paid to, even when there were adults already present. Brittany had to almost force her to go outside and play after she spent a whole week using every second of free time to hover near the baby, she did her homework, ate and played by the crib. Santana had thought it helpful for her to be so diligent but Brittany had insisted the girl know it was alright for the baby to not be in her sight. Regardless, Ella still paused her daily activities for moments like these.

Santana held Aurora carefully and offered the baby the bottle, smiling as drank greedily, "Slow down." she chuckled pulling the bottle back to let her catch her breath.

Ella leaned over to get a better look at her sister, "How can she be so hungry? She just ate a little while ago, maybe you should give her something more than just milk."

"No we can't do that, her stomach is delicate and can only handle milk or formula right now."

"What's the difference?"

Questions were all part of the ritual, occasionally Ella would be content to sit and watch, but from time to time her young mind would start cranking out a seemingly endless list of questions about her sister, "Formula is made so you can buy it at a store and the milk comes from mom."

An odd look crossed Ella's face as she glanced suspiciously at the refrigerator, "I thought we got _our_ milk from the store, it really comes from mom?"

The wheels turned slowly as Santana understood the connection her daughter was incorrectly making, "No, no, no that's different. Aurora can't drink that either, she can only have formula or breast milk."

"Oh okay."

At that moment Brittany came breezing through to the bedroom, her long hair pulled around her neck in an obvious attempt to hide Santana's markings. They were supposed to be going a neighborhood block party later in the day and she was sure Brittany was going to find the concealer to make herself presentable, and of course to avoid gaining the attention of the high inquisitor, also known as Violet.

Santana shot her a sly smile as she passed, the blonde scowled back at her though the look lacked any real conviction and was spoiled by a small half grin. Turning back to Aurora she merely sighed contentedly, being married with three kids made her proud of those hickies. In the quiet of the room, sleep tried to tug at her and she adjusted her position to try and jostle herself awake, the move let her see that Ella wanted to ask another question. It was burning in her hazel eyes as she watched her sister intently.

"Yes?"

Clearly surprised to have been caught, Ella looked up shyly as if she was scared to ask, "Can I hold her?"

The question barely reached her ears over the soft sound of suckling but upon hearing it she became more alert, neither Violet nor Ella had held an infant before, but then again when Aaron and Abby had come along both girls were too young to have tried. Seeing Ella's hopeful face made Santana feel like she wouldn't be remiss in letting the girl try.

"Alright. Sit up straight and hold you arms out like mine." She said turning and indicating the way her arms were bent.

Ella seemed almost stunned that her mother had agreed and sat perfectly still in shock before scrambling to get into the right position.

Santana placed Aurora in Ella's arms keeping her hands on the infant in case Ella made a mistake, but like the exemplary big sister she was the baby was held securely.

"Be sure to support her head, her neck is still too weak to handle the weight."

Ella nodded diligently and Santana smiled at the look on the girl's face as she held her sister for the first time, her joy seemed multiplied when Santana offered her the bottle and as she showed her the proper way to feed Aurora. In that moment Santana reflected that she couldn't recall a time when Ella had been happier.

The change up had not gone unnoticed by Aurora who seemed geared up to cry about it until the milk was presented, upon seeing that her hands shot out and clumsily grabbed at the bottle as she resumed her meal.

"Don't let her drink too fast." Santana advised and Ella expertly pulled the bottle back to give her sister a chance to breathe but not a chance to cry, returning it to her lips before her displeasure could be heard.

"How long do you think it will be until I can have a baby?" Ella asked suddenly.

"I'm afraid the rule for this family is that you can't think about it until you're thirty." Santana replied seriously.

"So sooner than Abby."

She couldn't help but laugh, "Yeah."

As she carefully fed Aurora, Ella's look of elation faded and soon a frown settled on her face, Santana was about to ask what was wrong, but was beaten to it, "Do you like kissing mom?" Santana only blinked in surprise as a response, "You guys were in the garage together."

"Oh yeah, that, well-" she stumbled over her words trying to figure out what to say because she wasn't sure how much Ella had seen. The only thing she had ever walked in on her parents doing was arguing.

Ella focused hard on the bottle in her hand, "I mean you don't want to kiss Ms. Novak anymore, right?"

Santana felt that familiar twist at the mention of _that_ woman, it made sense that Ella would have that question, she had never explained the circumstances behind what happened. Placing the hand that wasn't steadying Aurora to Ella's cheek she pulled the girl's attention to her, "No I don't, I never did and it won't happen again. Your mom is the only person I want to be with."

Her face visibly lightened and the elated smile returned as she nodded her understanding, "Good, I was worried you wanted her to be our new mom or something. The other Santana didn't like her but I thought you might still." She said quietly looking back to her sister.

Santana watched them both, waiting for the inevitable question that all young minds had to know; Why? Ella had every reason and every right to ask why Santana had been in their home kissing someone that wasn't her mom, especially after all she went through for what she saw, but the question never came. It seemed that the confirmation that Selena was out of their lives was enough for her and though she was entitled to an explanation Santana was eternally grateful she didn't ask for one.

When Aurora had finished her meal Santana took her and stood to see Brittany looking near tears, for a wild moment she thought their conversation might have been overheard but quickly decided that wasn't the case because of the wide smile on her face. It was her adoring look for precious family moments and thinking about it, her letting Ella feed Aurora definitely had been one.

Seeing her for the first time, Ella dashed over to Brittany excitement lighting her face, "Did you see? I fed her!"

"I did." She said clearly still moved by what she had seen.

Violet chose that moment to come out of her room wearing an apron and a pair of goggles resting on her forehead, she looked a little like a mad scientist and Santana realized that with her knowledge and imagination that wasn't an impossible employment option for her.

"Is feeding time over? Because we were kind of in the middle of something." She said giving Ella a pointed look.

"I got to feed Aurora." Ella replied proudly.

"What? No way, I want to!"

Sensing an incoming pout session Santana put up a calming hand, "Don't worry she eats all day you can do it next time but only if one of us is there to help you." She said indicating herself and Brittany.

Satisfied, Violet grinned and pulled her goggles back over her eyes, "Awesome. Alright Ella we need to get back to work, I need to be done by next feeding time."

"And whatever it is you're doing is safe and has nothing to do with Ella's chemistry set right?" Brittany asked.

Violet nodded, "Scouts honor, we were drawing up prototypes for a lunar space station. I'm in charge of painting, but I need Ella for executive color palette decisions."

"Are the goggles really necessary?" Santana asked amused.

"They are the most important part, I have to look cool to paint cool." She replied seriously before turning to Brittany, "And mom?"

"Yes?"

"What happened to your neck?"

Turning an interesting shade of red, Brittany pulled her hair back over her neck and turned on her heels back to the bathroom while Santana tried not to laugh. Violet noted all that but seemed more interested in her project than pursuing the issue and left to return to her work followed by Ella who still seemed incredibly proud of her day's accomplishment.

* * *

><p>Much like the parent teacher party at McKinley the Lima block party was an event Santana would have skipped given half a chance, which was why Brittany never gave her one. It took place at the local park and just like at the school there were parents and students, but not just from her school, from all the middle and elementary schools in the area as well. Though a marked improvement of the block party was that she was not required to talk to anyone she didn't want to.<p>

There were all kinds of foods being prepared in different areas and many of the tables had adults playing card games while wide open areas had group and family activities going on. Santana wasn't really interested in any of it but Violet and Ella seemed barely able to wait for her to stop the car before they went sprinting out to greet their friends. While Brittany unfastened Aurora from her car seat Santana waited patiently at her side and watched as her girls interacted with the other children. She, like every parent, knew they were growing up and would one day move away but seeing them with their friends somehow made that thought more pressing. Violet was almost twelve now, her teenage years would be the beginning of the end for their time together and Ella was right behind her. At least Aurora wasn't even able to speak yet, but then again it seemed like yesterday that Violet couldn't either.

"What are you so quiet about?" Brittany asked having finally hoisted Aurora up into her arms.

Shaking her head she scanned the area for familiar faces and saw exactly who she was looking for, "Nothing, just waiting for you. Come on I see Puck and Quinn."

They made their way over to the other couple on their pre-claimed patch of ground with a blanket spread out near a tree for shade. Puck had already started in on the food, she would have known even if he didn't have stacks of plates by him because he waved at her with a barbecue covered rib.

"And you let him?" Santana asked Quinn in lieu of a greeting, indicating the evidence of his overindulgence.

She shrugged as she moved to make room for the new arrivals, "He dieted for a whole week so he could go crazy on ribs and steak."

"And mashed potatoes and hot dogs and coleslaw." Puck added.

"You do know there is only so much diet and exercise can counter." Santana said leaning against the tree next to Brittany.

"Yeah but I also have an amazing metabolism and a healthy libido can kill a few pounds." He said winking at Quinn who rolled her eyes. When he turned back to his friends he gave Brittany a hard look and broke out into his shit eating grin, "Looks like you're ahead of me on that one."

Brittany drooped her head in defeat, "Why do I even buy concealer?"

Puck shrugged, "I don't know, a hickey during married life is nothing to hide."

"Agreed." Santana chimed in.

"Can we please change the subject? There are young ears present." Brittany mumbled indicating Aurora who was observing them all intently.

It had always been Brittany's belief that no matter what the age, conversation should be kept family friendly around children whether they be asleep or awake. Santana had tried to argue that point down since Violet's birth, it was a serious hindrance on her sex life as their children usually spent the first ten months of life in their parent's bedroom.

"I'll be back ladies, I see an old friend who owes a huge tab at the bar." Puck said getting up, his brown eyes locked on his target.

"No violence." Quinn warned as he trotted away.

"Yes ma'am." He replied turning to give her a mock salute then returning to his pursuit.

His wife watched him with pursed lips before saying, "He's probably not going to listen."

"Probably not." Santana agreed.

* * *

><p>The afternoon went on and Santana managed to even get up and mingle with a few of the other neighbors and the parent's of her daughter's friends. Brittany had to strong arm her into singing with some of the parents and students from her school, shocking everyone there by showing <em>Coach Lopez<em> could be a trophy winning perfectionist and an amazing singer.

It was when the sun began to hang low in the sky that Santana returned to her earlier spot with Brittany and a now sleeping Aurora to sit and watch the festivities continue to unfold. She amused herself watching an awkward game of twister begin a few feet away and lost herself in it entirely. The distraction left her to be startled by the sound of Brittany gasping next to her.

Turning to the other woman she saw that familiar adoring look on her face as she looked over Santana's shoulder to some point beyond.

"That is so precious." She said as Santana turned and looked at what she saw.

She couldn't quite place why immediately but the sight made her lungs clench and steal all her air.

Several yards away Ella stood alone with a boy of a similar age who was talking to her, clearly nervous as he fidgeted with a flower that he was offering her. He was talking rapidly and Ella seemed a little flustered by his offer but took the flower anyway.

Santana watched them talk feeling none of the adulation Brittany did for the scene, it made the indefinable feeling from before return and even though they were just children and the actions between them were purely innocent she felt like Ella was being swept further away from her. She had already wasted a year making the girl feel unloved and to this day she still couldn't call her momma naturally, it felt like she had pushed her too far away to ever get back in their limited remaining time. They had years left to go before her daughter was old enough to start being independent, but looking at her in that moment years didn't feel that long at all, it felt like seconds, seconds that she was losing sitting around not knowing what else to do.

The boy continued to talk all while making nervous hand gestures in the absence of the flower when Violet came sprinting up interrupting the conversation. Ella seemed not to mind but the boy became even more fidgety, a few words were exchanged between Violet and Ella before the blonde girl nodded and took off for where her parents sat, plopping down heavily in between them panting.

"What's got you so worn out?" Brittany asked amused.

"Forty four person game of tag and five people are it. I estimate that in about three minutes no one will know who is who."

"Violet what is that all about?" Santana asked still looking at Ella and the boy she was still talking to.

Sitting up she looked to see what her mother was talking about before leaning back on the tree, "Oh that's Bradley."

Santana's attention increased tenfold, "I thought he bullied her."

"Only because he likes her, besides he's apologizing for that right now anyway. Don't worry I made sure he was behaving, I'm all over this double big sister thing."

A gentle hand stroked her neck and she turned to see Brittany giving her a meaningful stare, "Santana let them be."

Frowning, she looked back out at the scene and felt her blood pressure rise as she noted the boy was closer now and talking more rapidly. Suddenly she remembered Ella asking her how long she had to wait until she could have a baby of her own and she would have leapt up then but Brittany still had a hold of her. Which was so very lucky for Bradley in the end because when he had finished his speech he gave Ella a quick rigid hug and ran off into a crowd of larger kids.

Looking stunned, Ella turned towards them and Santana felt her head being turned away to see Brittany giving her another warning glance. She got the message, Ella didn't need to see that they had been watching the whole exchange, it was clear she was embarrassed enough because she was blushing furiously by the time she joined them.

"Did you accept his apology?" Violet asked once Ella sat down.

"Yeah." She answered simply looking at the flower in her hands.

Santana was about to open her mouth to say something when loud footsteps cut her off, there panting heavily was Joseph looking around like he was running from the law.

"Violet, who's it. Right now?" Joseph asked between gasps.

"Told you." She sing songed quietly to Brittany.

"Don't matter. Gotta find, mom and dad. If I go home, can't lose."

"Last time I saw them they were with Caleb, Aaron and Abby getting them some food." Brittany offered helpfully.

He nodded, "Thanks Aunt B."

Santana was always amused by Joseph, he often to switched between formal and informal with them, whenever he was trying to impress it was 'Mrs. Lopez' no matter how confusing that got, he even referred to his grandmother as Ms. Puckerman. It was something he had picked up as he got older and began to pretend to be aloof about everything in the world, as if the formalities made him seem more adult. However he could never keep it up with them, in the brief moments where he would stop worrying about image and be himself he always referred to them as family.

As Joseph turned to leave Violet leapt up, "Joseph wait!" she said and tapped him on the shoulder, "You're it, no tag backs."

With that she hopped back to her seated position while he gaped at her, "Seriously?"

Santana cracked up and even Brittany laughed as she said, "That was mean."

The mirth from that moment faded as she saw Ella still observing the flower in her hand and she had to struggle to keep her smile in place. Gently she took the white pedaled plant and placed it behind her daughter's ear, Ella looked up at her as if surprised anyone else was there.

"It looks pretty in your hair." Santana mused.

Ella smiled back at her and crawled in her lap, it was a simple thing yet somehow the fact that she was still willing and small enough to do that calmed Santana's heart slightly. Pulling Violet closer to her side and resting her chin lightly on Ella's head she was able to relax if only for a moment trying to remember once again to cherish the time she had with them because it was a fleeting thing.

The moment was peaceful and the three of them stayed that way even after Puck and Quinn returned with the rest of their children wondering why Joseph was sprawled out on the blanket looking defeated. After a moment Ella removed the flower from her hair and considered it for a moment before turning and handing it to Santana.

"I think it would be prettier in your hair momma." She said.

There was a brief second where neither of them caught what she had said, but when Ella understood her own words she smiled widely, a look mimicked by Santana as the realization came to her as well. For the second time that day the small girl looked immensely proud of herself and caught Santana in a tight hug around the neck. When she pulled back they just grinned at each other for a moment, and Santana purposefully did not look over to Brittany because she knew the look that would be there and it would push her into happy tears.

Her attention was broken from her daughter by a flash in the distance, Santana looked up to see a man with a strong face, striking pale green eyes, snowy white hair wearing clothing that looked like they might be more suitable for Florida. He was holding a camera and as she looked at him with a questioning frown he smiled at her and gave a small friendly wave before he turned away and seemingly vanished into the crowd.

Santana turned to Brittany to ask if she had seen the man too but she was still watching Ella who at that moment placed the flower in her hair.

Leaning back she allowed Ella to settle further into her lap and Violet pulled Santana's arm around herself and together they watched Joseph tear off into the now sixty three person game of tag with an indiscernible number of _its_.

Everything from before melted away and Santana was sitting in the park with her family, one she had almost destroyed. But they were together and she knew nothing would threaten their family like that again. As she held her girls in her arms she knew that the time would fly but she wasn't losing time with them, she was making memories for the future and as someone who had almost lost that, it seemed silly to be so afraid of it. They had a long time left, Aurora was a baby and they may even have another, she was far too young to be so pessimistic, which wasn't to say she would take them dating any better than Puck would for Abby. For now she had Brittany and her children so what else in the world could possibly matter?

* * *

><p>AN: Been a while right? Well actually the chapter was finished on my usual timeline but my beta Jellysnack got caught up with work so our relays were a little slow XP Things are picking up again for me now but as long as nothing crazy happens it shouldn't be that long before the next update.

ALSO this is the last Ohio part. This Santana has resolved her issues to the best of her ability and the rest is just life. The next part will be the last for Florida TECHNICALLY (don't throw things the fic isn't over yet) but it marks the end of the current arc and starts another so the chapters will be titled differently.

Again a very real thanks to all who have reviewed emailed and pm'ed… last chapter got a lot of reviews… I should tell you I gave some thought to making that chapter a cliffhanger that ended before the dream was revealed, but I see now that would have resulted in my home being located and burned down XD

That would have just been awful if I wrote all this to have Santana lose Brittany in a one night stand to a nameless OC… I would have joined in the home burning…

Thanks for reading and please review! See you soon!


	14. Florida Santana Part 7

**Miami, Florida**

Panic. Santana was in a complete and total panic. There were words that would more accurately describe what she felt, but in an effort to calm down she had decided to downplay the emotion by merely labeling it as panic. Air seemed useless as it went in and out of her lungs no matter how she gulped at it and pacing a room that seemed eight sizes to small did nothing to fix that.

Moments ago everything had been fine, better than fine. Her hair and her dress were perfect, all of their guests had arrived, all of the decorations and catering had been done on time. Her mother had been by to fawn over her and burst out in tears at making it to her daughter's wedding day. It was everything she could have asked for and more. Yet she was about to pass out from hyperventilating.

No matter how she tried she couldn't help but see all the worst case scenarios. Brittany had broken down and let go of her fears even though it was clearly terrifying for her to do so. It was an honor to be the person she trusted everything to but what if after all they had been through she still messed up? She couldn't let that happen, but what if it was her destiny? What if the real message in seeing her possible life was to learn she was going to hurt Brittany badly no matter what route she took? Maybe her dream had been another warning that she should stop before it was too late because her capacity for failure was too high. Her alternate self in Ohio had been a wife and mother for years and still managed to damage her perfect life, what chance on earth did she have? It seemed ridiculous to even think about cheating on Brittany but there were so many other ways to cause pain and it seemed like she was genetically built to find them.

Turning sharply to complete what had to have been her hundredth circuit of the room she was halted by the sound of the door opening. Standing motionless she watched nervously to see who would enter and saw Puck step in.

He was grinning at her and giving a thumbs up which reminded her that her decision had affected his whole life. Unable to take another moment of the mental pressure tears spilled from her eyes.

"Whoa! Hey what's wrong?" he exclaimed running to her side and placing a concerned hand on her shoulder as she tried to wipe away tears.

"I can't do it! I can't do this to her! She shouldn't be with me, she should be happy and I'll just hurt her! I'm a natural disaster for people's lives, hell I'm probably the reason Mike and Tina never stayed together!" she cried hysterically.

Puck gave her a searching look before he backed away to the door, "This is further into crazy chick territory than I'm used to Lopez, hold tight I need backup." With that he dashed out the door leaving Santana to collapse to the floor in tears.

She ran a million more ways her existence had ruined everyone else's in the engulfing silence that fell and continued to do so until Puck returned less than a minute later with Quinn on his heels.

Seeing the blubbering mess on the floor she sighed, moved to the end table to get a tissue, and knelt before Santana, dabbing at the tears that were blazing trails through her makeup.

"Okay so what's all this about?" she asked calmly.

"I can't marry her Quinn. I want to but I can't, she doesn't know how horrible I am. She's forgiven me and opened her heart up to me to tear out again. I'm going to mess up, I know I am. I'm going to disappoint her and make her mad because I'm an idiot and I just can't do it. I won't leave her like I did before but I can't be her wife." Santana rambled all while crying fresh tears into Quinn's tissue.

Puck looked concernedly to his date, "She's going to be okay right?"

With another sigh and a kind smile Quinn wiped Santana's face dry again and went to the makeup table to grab a few items before she returned holding them clasped in her hands deciding to wait until she was sure the crying was done.

"To be honest I though Brittany was going to be the one to get cold feet." She said.

Santana frowned, new tears forming in her eyes, "You thought she was going to know how big of a mistake she was making?"

"No, I thought she would be the one to get the pre-wedding jitters, which everyone gets, this is totally normal Santana you just need to calm down and go out there."

"I can't. It's for her own good Quinn, you don't understand I can't be what she deserves. I'm going to mess up."

"I know." She said shrugging.

"Uh Quinn…" Puck said looking worried.

Santana's head fell but Quinn caught it with her hand, "Look at me. There are a couple of things you need to get through your head right now. First, yes you will make her angry and at some point she will do the same to you and you will fight, you may even disappoint her or say something insensitive to hurt her feelings. It's what people do, that's life. There isn't a single couple on earth married or otherwise who sit around all day being happy. Shit happens. What matters is that you love each other enough to forgive, forget and move on. As for some monumental misstep well I don't know what you are planning Santana, but you are an adult and in charge of your own actions, if you don't want to hurt her like at prom then don't. Which brings me to my second point, you leaving her at the altar would be one of those monumental missteps, it would be prom but worse in a lot of ways. I understand that right now you don't see it because you're wrapped up in your cloud of self doubt, but trust me on this. It's your wedding day and you are allowed to go a little crazy so I'm not going to bring the hammer down right now, but you _are_ going out there and you _are_ marrying that woman. This isn't a shotgun wedding, but gun shops are open and I have a permit so it can easily become one."

Santana stared up at Quinn who still had her face held firmly in her hand and an unthreatening but unwavering stare, "She gave me her whole heart and I'm so afraid of breaking it." She breathed trying not to cry again and failing.

Quinn grinned at her, "Brittany's been handling the responsibility just fine all this time."

Her brow creased as she thought about that, "Of course she could take care of herself-"

"Your heart idiot, she's kept yours safe this whole time."

That fact had evaded her, but it was true, Brittany had stolen her heart and even when she had run away Santana had only been able to take a small piece with her that she had guarded jealously.

Sniffling she took the tissue from Quinn and began to dab at her eyes, "She has." She agreed.

"So, are you going to let me reapply your makeup so you can get out there or am I going to have to get Puck to carry you to the altar where I will puppeteer you through the whole ceremony?"

Laughing Santana stood, "You would like a reason to get your hands up my dress." She said and sat waiting on the small stool by the makeup table.

"You wish, now tilt your head back." Quinn replied with a smile.

She did as she was asked and when she did she saw Puck looking at Quinn with a fond and amazed smile, one that reminded her of the Puck from Ohio who adored his wife. Somehow that made her feel a surge of happiness and just like that everything was calm once again and she was back to her antsy, excited self.

* * *

><p>For the most part Santana had little to no input on the wedding setup, it had all been left to Brittany because frankly the only thing she really cared about was making her fiancée her wife. Every other detail was icing on the cake and if it made Brittany happy then by default she was all for it. However the one thing she might have contested had it been run by her was that she be the last one escorted up the aisle, granted she had known it would be that way since the rehearsal and it didn't really make a difference but she had always pictured Brittany being brought to her. She had also pictured a smiling Richard handing her off and that wasn't happening either so she ultimately decided it was for the best.<p>

The change meant that she had to wait patiently with her mother as Richard walked his daughter to the altar when patience was in short supply. Carla seemed to understand this as she rubbed Santana's arm calmingly keeping her from flying out ahead of schedule. The older woman had already cried her tears of joy and now had a broad smile as she looked at her daughter as if she were etching her face at that moment into memory.

When it was finally time to walk for a brief second she forgot how but Carla carefully steered her forward and out into the chapel. The decorations seemed brighter and more vibrant and somehow, even with all the people in it the room seemed bigger. There were decorations up that hadn't been when she had last visited and a photographer snapped photos nosily nearby, but Santana never noticed any of that. Her eyes found Brittany and everything went away. She hadn't gone with a dress as Santana had assumed but a tailored pants suit that was unusual in that the whole thing was flowing white silk in a fashion that was almost Victorian, the entire outfit was trimmed in silver that also ran along the seams. The underlying top was a shade of lavender so exact to her own dress she suspected her mother had cheated slightly to co-ordinate them but she didn't mind.

Her walk up the aisle seemed to flash by and take forever simultaneously, and with every step she kept her eyes trained on Brittany. Once she was within a foot of the altar she saw that embroidered on the breast of Brittany's top was a silver dolphin with a shining blue rhinestone eye. At the sight of it the smile that had been on her face grew impossibly wide and knowing the reason for her reaction Brittany grinned back.

When they were finally together, face to face, Santana couldn't help but feel in awe of the woman before her once more. Up close she was somehow more radiant and the love in her eyes more real and intense, it could have been her wedding day jitters making everything more than it was or Rachel had been right about spending a day apart. Not that she would ever admit that.

The pastor began to speak and as it was her wedding day Santana supposed she should have been listening more closely but she was lost in Brittany and all the future would hold for them. She wasn't even able to focus until it was time to say their vows, which had been changed by both women at the last moment during the rehearsal. The long drawn out nature of their previous versions had been full of promises and proclamations that neither needed to say any longer, it seemed silly to say them now, it would have been like reading the words of past selves who still needed assurances. None of that mattered any longer, but they didn't want to say the prewritten vows either so in a classic Brittany move she decided to wing it. Santana had gone along with that option because as far as she was concerned anything Brittany wanted for their wedding she got, now however she suddenly wished she'd taken the time to jot down a few notes. Luckily Brittany went first and, as always, she made Santana's fears fly away.

"Santana you know I love you more than anything so I won't go into that, and later the pastor is going to make me promise to honor and cherish you too. Not that I wouldn't already but those bases are pretty much covered. I don't know how good of a wife I'll be but I can promise I'll be the best one you've ever had." She said smiling and Santana gave a small laugh, "I'm so excited to spend the rest of my life with you because I knew from the first time I met you that I never wanted to leave your side. And despite all the confusion of high school I was yours completely from the first time we ever kissed. We've had a rough time getting here but the only thing I want you to know is I wouldn't change one single part because it has me here with you."

Looking at the steady eyes before her helped keep Santana from tearing up and ruining Quinn's hard work. Thinking of the other blonde she felt a little weird knowing that she and Puck were so close but even now she couldn't see them. She knew Puck was right behind her and Quinn was right by Brittany but her eyes weren't picking that up, nor the pastor to her left, she could only focus on the woman in front of her and she wasn't overly tempted to try not to.

Taking a deep breath Santana opened her mouth and managed to not freeze, "I wish I could say I understood everything about my life, but I don't. The only things I seem to remember are outcomes, I don't remember when exactly I knew I loved you but I do remember realizing that I there was no way to stop. I don't remember the first time we held hands but I do remember when I realized how cold I was when you weren't by my side. But in this case, in this one instant I remember exactly what made me find you again. In one night my head rallied and cleared out all the things that didn't matter and reminded me that you were the only one there ever could be for me and wanting anything else was a total waste of time. And no matter what happens in the future I want both of us to remember that."

The blonde beamed at her and as the scripted words were recited next to them they were lost in each other. However Brittany was not so lost as to not recite her 'I do.' on time and neither was Santana, but when it was time to kiss the bride she froze because at that moment she realized that she was looking at her wife. Not her girlfriend or fiancée, but full blown honest to goodness wife. It was different than waking to find they were married with two kids, this was _her_ Brittany, the one she had left heartbroken at senior prom, as _her_ wife. She had no idea why this would feel so very different but it did and the feeling was wonderfully freeing though it left her frozen to the spot. But Brittany seemed to understand, and when their lips met Santana's body was able to move again and she instinctively wrapped her arms around her wife's neck. Her wife. It was still shocking in her brain.

Their kiss was far deeper and long lasting than anything they had tried in the rehearsal but obviously neither cared. When she stood back Brittany looked at her with a proud affection she had only seen in the eyes of her counterpart from a different world and for the first time since actually getting Brittany to agree to see her again Santana felt like she was taking her first steps towards living that life.

As they walked back down the aisle hand in hand between rows of family and friends Santana could still only focus on the woman next to her. The hand she held was solid and real yet it was hard for her to grasp that at that very moment she was married to Brittany, the feeling was weird because it shouldn't have made so much difference. They had been living together for a long time and even talked about having children a few days before but it wasn't until now that she felt it, like she had crossed the finish line of a triathlon. Granted she still had some ground to cover with Richard and Faith and she yearned to see Puck and Quinn start a family even if it was far away in New York. But whereas it had all seemed so pressing and impossible before, those things seemed so very easy now that Brittany was hers. Really and truly hers.

The reception was held right after and their many guests made many speeches and still Santana only focused on the dazzling smile plastered on the face of the woman next to her.

The hypnotic hold her wife had on her was broken when Brittany turned to kiss her briefly before pulling her onto the dance floor. It was when they were alone in the center surrounded by all their guests that Santana realized that this was their first dance as a married couple. She couldn't quite remember what Brittany's choices for songs were since, like everything else, the final decision had been left to her. Turning to her, Santana hoped it wasn't something too sappy because she was quite prone to emotional outbursts at the moment, happy tears were still tears and she did not want to hear Puck's mouth about the previous night _and_ crying during their dance. But when the music started she laughed because who else but Brittany would choose _Footloose_ as their first song.

They danced together like they had been practicing the routine together for years when in actuality it was only Santana dancing and Brittany's amazing ability to predict the flow of movement and adjust accordingly. When the music ended everyone else joined them on the dance floor and the newlyweds danced through several more songs which took about thirty minutes but to Santana who was wearing four inch heels it felt like years since she had sat down and was more than happy to turn Brittany over to Richard when he came over to cordially ask to dance with his daughter.

Making her way gingerly to her table she sat and watched them dance smiling because they were her family now and she was going to make Richard love her like he did in Ohio. She was so very sure of it because she had made Brittany Pierce _Brittany Lopez_ and there was nothing she couldn't do.

"So I was sworn to secrecy about Brittany's outfit but now that you've seen it I can freely say; HA! She wears the pants in the relationship."

Even if she hadn't smelled his cologne or immediately recognized his voice she would have known it was Puck who was speaking from the chair behind her based on content alone.

Turning to him with a smirk she shrugged, "I guess so. My mother has already informed me that I am hopelessly whipped and I can't really disagree."

He frowned, "Wow. You must be high off the wedding, this is absolutely no fun so I'll save my taunts from the phone incident for later."

"Did you ever have that talk with Quinn?" Santana asked glancing over at the other woman who stood talking to Carla.

"About what?" he asked looking genuinely confused.

"About the past."

He gave her an odd stare until understanding crept in and replaced it, "Oh. No. I was pretty drunk when I said that."

She nodded, "Yup and you were also right."

Puck scratched nervously at the back of his head, "I don't think it'll be as easy as it was with you and Britt."

"What the hell makes you think it was easy? I had to actually look into the black abyss I somehow created and own up to it. The whole talk was about as pleasant as being mauled by a bear while on fire, but it was totally necessary."

"I know and I'll get around to it, but today I think I just want to focus on being charming." He said smiling a little before he got up and approached Quinn asking her to dance right as a slow song came up.

Santana contentedly turned her attention back to the dance floor and was about to take her shoes off to give herself a foot rub when once again a voice caught her attention.

"May I have this dance?"

She looked up into familiar blue eyes and saw Hailey standing in front of her in the knee length dress of pale gold that complemented her hair nicely.

Santana smiled up at her and took the offered hand, "You may though I don't know how well I'll do since my feet are trying to kill me."

Hailey glanced down at her shoes, "After that opening number I'm surprised you don't need aspirin. Just take them off, half of the women are barefoot out there anyway."

Looking out on the dance floor she could see the truth of that, but seeing her mother dancing slowly with Mike, her shoes dangling from her fingers laced around his neck she shuddered and stood, "It's not that bad I'll be fine."

Santana led them into the center of the floor and pulled Hailey close as she took the lead, Hailey allowed it and became uncharacteristically silent as they swayed together. It occurred to Santana to comment on it but decided that if the girl just wanted to dance then why bother her with conversation? However there was one thing she couldn't keep herself from saying.

"Thanks by the way. For the other day."

Hailey seemed to been shaken out of some deep thought, "Huh?"

"For sticking up for me, I really thought your parents were about to kill me for real."

She blushed at the comment and her eyes focused on a spot far away, "Oh, that. It was getting out of hand, totally worth the grounding."

"They grounded you for helping me?" Santana asked incredulously.

Hailey laughed, "No, for cursing."

"Seriously? How can they even do that? Aren't you going to college in California?"

"Their idea of grounding is to make me drive them back to Ohio solo. It will force me to take multiple breaks increasing our travel time tenfold leaving me alone with my parents on the open road. While driving I can't talk on the phone, text or even turn on the radio and I'm pretty sure they have some lectures planned for me as well."

"That sounds awful. Do you want me to buy you an airline ticket or something?" Santana said pausing their motion to look at the other girl seriously.

"It'll only piss them off more if I duck my punishment. My bluetooth doubles as an earpiece to my iPod so I think I can work out some entertainment without their knowledge, as long as they don't ask why I'm wearing it when I'm obviously not on the phone." She sighed.

"Then I guess the best I can do is to give my word that your suffering won't be in vain. I promise I'll make her happy." Santana said and she found it odd that Hailey was purposefully not looking at her again.

"I know, I wouldn't have stuck up for you otherwise. You won't have to _make_ her happy though, being around you is enough."

They continued to move in silence and Santana allowed the overwhelming feeling of accomplishment take over again before it was temporarily halted by Richard's voice coming from somewhere to her right. Turning slightly she could see him several feet away, he was still dancing with Brittany who had seemed pleased enough at first but now looked slightly annoyed.

"This isn't meant to be snarky or anything," he was saying at quietly as he could, but with his baritone it was still loud enough for Santana to hear, "I'm just saying you should reconsider the Lopez thing. Our name dates back to Franklin Pierce, I mean yes he was pretty bad at his job but being President of the United States is a pretty big deal."

At that moment she and Hailey found themselves next to Richard and Brittany leading to an abrupt end to the conversation.

Upon seeing her, Brittany beamed and offered her father to Hailey, "Trade." She said and it wasn't a question.

Reluctantly Hailey stepped back and into her father's arms who looked irritated at the sudden dismissal but said nothing about it. Santana shot an apologetic smile at Hailey and mouthed another quick 'Thanks' before she was swept away into a close embrace with Brittany.

"What was that about?" Santana asked nodding in the direction Richard and Hailey were now dancing.

"He was whining because I took your name." she replied easily.

"I see."

"I don't. He didn't have a problem when I was going to be Mrs. Laffe." When Santana frowned she clarified, "Ted's last name."

"Don't let it get you down."

Brittany smiled down at her showing that she had done no such thing, "No way. I'm the happiest woman in the world right now and nothing will change that."

"Hmm, I might know a happier one." She said kissing Brittany softly, a kiss the taller woman immediately deepened.

Santana had no trouble wrapping her arms around Brittany's neck and allowing things to become more heated but apparently it was a little too hot for her wife who pulled back panting heavily and nuzzled into Santana's neck in attempt to cool down slightly.

"Eager are we?" Santana asked managing to act as if she wasn't just as turned on.

They hadn't been apart more than a day and were already behaving as though it had been months, and Santana decided just then not to punch Rachel in the face _immediately_ if they ever met again.

"You look really beautiful." Brittany said softly into her shoulder.

"So do you, and why didn't you tell me you didn't get a dress?"

"Cause Carla said if I told you you'd be even more stubborn about your dress if you knew I wasn't picking something similar."

Santana rolled her eyes even though she knew it was true, "Did she drop some hints about what color to pick for that top?"

Brittany lifted her head and smiled brightly, "She didn't tell me anything about your dress, we match because we're perfect for each other I guess. Which is also how I know you need to sit down before your feet explode."

Santana grimaced, "Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah, you're almost hopping." She giggled as she pulled Santana after her back to their table.

When she finally had the brunette in a chair she pulled off the offending heels and gave her a light foot massage. Santana would have protested but it felt so good she couldn't find it in her to try. They sat quietly grinning widely at one another as if sharing a private joke that was tremendously funny, it went on like than until a more upbeat song came on over the speakers and Santana could see Brittany's eagerness to get up and move written all over her face.

Pulling her feet back under her she leaned close to Brittany's ear to make herself heard over the pulsing beat, "I'll be fine here go do your thing."

Brittany cast a sideways glance at the dance floor and shook her head, Santana was about to insist when she felt herself being pulled from her chair and into Brittany's lap, "You're my thing." She said smiling into Santana's neck.

Their position and the multiple meanings of her reply made her blush, "Go on Britt I know you want to dance."

"I can dance fine right here." She said loftily as she grabbed Santana's arms and began to move her to the beat of the music, her own body swaying in time with the one above her.

Santana laughed heartily at the action and even as Brittany pushed and pulled them through a synchronized chair dance she couldn't help but be reminded of Artie, and that thought combined with the music and the dance floor brought up memories of senior prom. It was then for the first time she realized that memories of high school didn't hurt, and though it had been brought up in some form or another since the start of the reception she remained unperturbed. Recalling the past usually brought on, at the very least, a heavy dose of guilt that sat like a stone in the pit of her stomach. Now it was a memory like any other, the past was actually staying put. It was a truly exhilarating feeling and she understood that this was what it was like to finally forgive herself.

When their impromptu dance ended Santana turned and kissed Brittany swiftly before turning and pulling the taller woman's arms around her waist as she leaned back into her needing to feel her as close as possible in that moment.

Glancing over at blonde she asked, "Are you sure you don't want to go anywhere special tonight?"

They had a fight booked to Paris for the following evening but Brittany had insisted they spend their wedding night at home much to Santana's everlasting confusion. She had even offered to put them up in a nice hotel for the night just to get away, but Brittany wouldn't hear of it.

"Just home."

"You are aware I could get tickets to anywhere in the world right now. We don't have to have our wedding night in France we could be _anywhere_."

Brittany tightened her grip on her wife and buried her nose in the loose curls that covered Santana's back, "I know we could and I do want to have our honeymoon in France, but I want our wedding night at home."

She didn't get it but it made no difference since she would give Brittany anything she wanted including the simplicity of home, "If you're sure."

"It's the first night we'll be a married couple and I've dreamed of this day forever."

"Right, and what better way to finish off the day then a plane ride somewhere exotic and romantic?"

Brittany shook her head slightly and lowered her voice as if embarrassed to say what was on her mind, "I want to take you home and make love to you for the first time as my wife in the house where we are going to start the rest of our lives, the house we're going to start a family in. I don't want that memory attached to some random hotel in a far away place."

With logic like that she couldn't possibly argue the point further, Santana knew she had a ridiculously large smile on her face as she glanced over her shoulder, "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

Brittany smirked back, "I have some idea, but you can show me what you got tonight."

Santana felt her whole body heat up at that suggestion, "I think I'll do just that."

"And make it count because Rachel says it's best if we don't have sex during the honeymoon."

"What?" Santana barked sitting straight up and turning to Brittany in disbelief.

The blonde threw her head back and laughed before she pulled Santana close for several reassuring kisses, "I was just kidding, San."

"You almost gave me a heart attack." She growled swatting Brittany's arm.

"You still love me though right?"

"No." she laughed despite trying to keep a straight face.

Brittany smiled as she pulled Santana to her again and together they watched as a slightly tipsy Carla roped Richard into an awkward two step with her. Whatever animosity still remained for her thankfully hadn't transferred to her mother as Richard tried to politely excuse himself and Faith's eyes sparkled with amusement as she watched her husband try to escape and fail miserably all while being forced into dance steps he clearly didn't know. Amusement hit an all time high when she gave up on that and attempted to show Richard her drunken rendition of the recently learned Dougie, the older man had to go through all the steps hurriedly before she allowed him to retreat from the dance floor.

The display had Puck and Hailey laughing to the point of asphyxiation and Quinn had almost dribbled her cocktail down the front of her gown twice in the attempt to pretend to be unamused. Santana watched the whole scene laughing wrapped in the comfort of Brittany, feeling pride and contentment on a whole new level. Like Brittany, she was excited to begin the rest of their lives, every day would bring her a step closer to the Ohio she had known and nothing was going to get in her way.

* * *

><p>AN: Happy Valentines Day! Know what the wedding chapter falling on today is pure coincidence weird huh? Anyway hope this chapter was everything you hoped it would be.

BTW someone asked if I was going to delve into Ohio Santana's psychiatrist visits, well right now it's obvious I'm not but the reason is because her discussions with her therapist would have been normal conversations (because everyone could use someone to talk to) and dealing with her guilt (which I already did) so the only thing of interest would have been more drama and I was trying to wind that down.

Also a few people are under the impression that Ohio Santana likes Ella more than Violet which is not at all what I was trying to convey, she just has a lot to make up for and has to pay special attention to her needs. Though Ella is a _fan_ favorite XD

I, as always, work tonight so yaaaay (sarcasm intended) Reviews appreciated (absolutely no sarcasm there) See you soon.


	15. Fated Meeting

**Fated Meeting**

Santana sat comfortably on the passenger's side of her convertible, head resting on the arm that was draped over the open window while her other hand played idly with her bracelet. Brittany was next to her humming softly along with the radio as she drove, both women were quite content as the car passed miles of ocean creating an amazing backdrop to their pleasant drive.

Though Santana was usually behind the wheel, jetlag had caused her to hand over her keys and rest. Somehow Brittany was unaffected by their sudden return to reality even though she had more reason to be worn out. Their entire honeymoon she had practically dragged Santana everywhere in the city, mainly because Santana was uninterested in leaving their hotel, and her excitement for every place they visited was boundless. On top of everything else their flight back to the States had made them both card carrying members of the mile high club yet still Brittany sat in the driver's seat, head bouncing to the beat pumping through the speakers.

Santana gave her another glance, her eyes closing slowly, and even as the image faded a smile crept over her face as she looked at her wife. Her _wife_. It still hadn't gotten old, the notion was still the most amazing thing she could think of and she was still in a constant state of near disbelief that Brittany had chosen her.

Still smiling she fell into a peaceful sleep that was interrupted by the alarming sound Mike's voice in her ears. Opening her eyes she saw Brittany was on the phone with the speaker function putting the man right in the car with them. Sighing she looked out at the streets and saw that they were back in Miami, the honeymoon was officially over, but Santana felt things would only get better from then on out. Nestling back into her previous position she listened as Brittany continued to list all the landmarks they had visited.

"I hope you brought pictures." He said when she finished her long rant.

"Lots." Brittany replied in a chipper voice and Santana's brow creased slightly as she made a mental note to get ahold of Brittany's camera soon, a lot of those pictures were not for public viewing.

"Hey listen I know you guys are just getting back but I was wondering if you could swing by for a bit before you go home."

"I guess so, I'd have to ask how Santana's feeling, she's been pretty sleepy since we landed."

"I wouldn't even ask, but thanks to Santana's contacts we have an investor for _Cats_ but, um, he is sending his girlfriend down to oversee what we've been doing so far."

"His _girlfriend_?"

"Yeah exactly and I doubt she knows the difference between a plié and a squat thrust but she is apparently going to stand in for him on keeping us on schedule and on budget so I sort of need Santana here as a buffer. You know how these types are, they come in thinking they know absolutely everything there is to know because they once saw a high school play and start ruining things. We have the new theatre rented for the show, I've had most of our sets already built and almost all of the minor parts have already been cast. We are well underway and will be right on budget and more importantly on time as long as this woman doesn't get it in her head that this whole thing needs to take place in space or something. Since Santana is the only other person who could have a say in this I really need her here as backup. Just for a little bit."

It was quiet for a moment and Santana knew Brittany was trying to work out how to gently wake her, she could have just revealed that she heard everything, but it was far more intriguing to let the blonde wake her. Once they reached a stop light Brittany leaned over and shook Santana slightly calling her name, when that seemed to fail she leaned over and offered a firm kiss to the cheek and Santana's name called directly in her ear.

After that she couldn't even pretend to be asleep and suppressed a shiver as she opened her eyes and turned her attention, "Yeah?" she asked, the sleep in her voice wasn't feigned but her ignorance of the situation was.

"Mike wants to know if you could stop by the studio for a little bit, our new investor's girlfriend is coming by and he's scared she'll walk all over him."

"That's not what I said!" Mike barked from the phone.

Brittany blinked at the device, "It's what you meant."

Santana laughed until a heavy yawn took over and she paused in her actions to stretch and rubbed the back of her head slowly, "I guess I could for a little bit but I really want to go home and sleep for a few centuries."

"I totally understand, but I'm really worried this could wreck the whole production."

Santana considered telling him that she'd meet the unnecessary add on to their party some other time and put her in her place if she got out of hand. However, it was clear that Mike's unease was leaking to Brittany and she sighed resigning to have a talk with him about constantly striking her weak spot. He _did_ have her number after all.

"Alright."

"Awesome!" she heard him cheer, "Oh also I don't know what's up with you two and attracting ex's but our investor is Miles Rowan, that isn't going to be an issue is it?"

Santana snorted and rolled her eyes, "Definitely not. Especially since he doesn't even plan to show."

"Excellent, see you in a few then." He said and hung up.

Turning to pull them farther from home and towards their new destination, "You sure you're up for this?" Brittany asked running a hand through Santana's rumpled hair.

"Like I said I'd rather have a shower and a long sleep, but it won't kill me to stay awake a little longer."

Nodding, Brittany gave her a sweet smile that made the detour all worth it.

* * *

><p>The new theatre was impressive to say the least as it was ten times bigger than Pop n' Lock. Pulling up, Santana could easily see what it would look like on opening night and it was clear Brittany did as well because her excitement level multiplied the moment they pulled up.<p>

Once the car was parked Santana peeled herself out of the car, pulled a pair of shades out of her purse to try and mask how bloodshot she was sure her eyes were and sauntered inside to try and find Mike. It wasn't hard though, the tall man was on the enormous stage giving instructions to a few nervous looking stage hands who couldn't seem to do what he wanted no matter what they did.

"Mike!" Brittany cheered as she ran and leapt gracefully up onto the stage.

They had only been gone ten days but the way she hugged him one would think it had been a year, but then again she always had felt separation more strongly than most. Santana, nowhere near as enthusiastic about seeing a man she had just spoken to, walked calmly to the stage and took the long way up, using the stairs at the far end. When she finally joined them they were busy talking about their candidates for Grizabella causing Santana to busy herself elsewhere. Asking mumbled directions to the ladies room she made her way backstage, but not before hearing Mike's worried plea that she return soon to meet their guest.

Grumbling slightly she stepped into the bathroom and washed up as best she could and straightened her clothing. After combing her hair and reapplying her makeup she felt much more prepared to face the task at hand and smiled haughtily at her reflected self. However even though she looked refreshed and awake she still felt like garbage so she left the bathroom and located a small table with a pot of coffee.

She poured a cup and walked back out to the stage, as she approached she heard voices telling her that Miles' new plaything had arrived, but her interest in that was sapped the moment the coffee touched her lips. She supposed that even if she had liked coffee and the drink she currently held was both fresh and well sugared it never would have pleased her taste buds after spending over a week drinking the most enchanting beverages in cafés around Paris. But it did what it was supposed to do, which was wake her up, and with it tasting like someone had put a cigarette out in it how could it not.

She was glaring at her cup when she rounded the corner and heard Mike say in relief, "Oh and this Santana Lopez she funds all of our expansions and other endeavors and has even put quite a bit into this production already. Santana this is Selena Novak."

The cold bitter coffee flew out of the cup as Santana coughed into it after having choked on her last mouthful. Cursing loudly as it splashed all over her shirt she looked up to see none other than the very same woman she had known in Ohio standing in front of her. Her mouth fell open as coffee dripped off her and she knew she had to look insane, but she was too stunned to care.

_How in the hell is she here?_ She thought now more awake than she ever had been in her life.

For a moment she considered the thought that Selena had followed her from the other world somehow but the woman she was staring at was not looking at her in the frightening animalistic way the Ohio one did. Though there was a look in her eye that Santana was not entirely comfortable with. The woman was almost exactly the same except she was dressed in the way a woman who dated Miles Rowan was like to. She still wore glasses, though the frames were more fashionable and clearly a part of the persona she wanted to project as Santana was sure Miles would get her contacts. Her hair was much shorter here but still hung loosely around her face framing those dangerous brown eyes.

It was only when she felt a light pressure on her breast that she leapt aside, effectively spilling more coffee, only to note that it was Brittany next to her trying to wipe down the mess she had made of the front of her blouse.

Realizing that no one had spoken since she had made a scene she cleared her throat, "Hi." She said simply.

"Nice to meet you." Selena said in a way that made the other woman shiver.

"I'm sure you've met my _wife_ Brittany." Santana said pointing to the woman who was still dabbing away at the mess on her chest.

She smirked never breaking eye contact, "I did have that pleasure, yes."

"Got it down your top too…" Brittany said distractedly as she unbuttoned the top three buttons of Santana's blouse to better clean the spill.

Santana was content to let this obvious display of intimacy go on until she noticed that Selena was enjoying the show far more than either of them. Mike looked completely and totally lost his entire posture was that of a man who wanted to be anywhere but the awkward place he was.

Buttoning up, Santana took the cloth from Brittany and gave a few cursory swipes at her ruined top and tossed it on the floor to soak up what she spilled, "So I hear you are here to oversee this project." She pressed on.

Selena's eyes danced mischievously before she turned and looked at the stage, "Yes, though I only came today to take a look at the facilities, I didn't expect to be met with such force." She said eying Santana as she did so.

"We were passing by and thought we'd say hi. Well now we have the greetings out of the way." She said and started for the car pulling Brittany after her.

"Wait!" Mike called before turning to Selena, "I was wondering if there were some changes you had planned to suggest as Mr. Rowan's representative."

Selena's eyes hadn't left Santana and she blinked slightly as she realized she was being addressed, "Oh well I didn't have any in mind at the moment but I do want to sit in on the casting and a few of the rehearsals to make sure everything is advancing properly."

"That seems settled so we'll be on our way." Santana said exaggeratedly before Mike stopped them again and she almost actually screamed in frustration.

"Actually Britt, there are a few things I want to give you before you go it won't take but a second, Ms. Novak I can give you the grand tour as soon as I come back."

She swiftly moved to Mike's side as he walked off and, with a panicked look over at Selena Santana called, "I'll wait for you in the car okay babe?"

Brittany looked a little confused about her inability to wait but nodded her understanding as she left, Santana turned on her heels with a hasty goodbye thrown over her shoulder as she almost ran out the door.

Once in the parking garage she stood breathing heavily against her car, her brain making loud screeching noises. The worst part was it was offering no answer as to why Selena fucking Novak was waltzing around in Miami when she should have been in Lima molding the minds of high school students, as horrifying as that was. How in the hell had she managed to change this?

Standing in a garage with a soiled blouse while thinking hard enough to give herself a migraine was doing nothing to help her situation, so she popped the trunk and opened the first suitcase she could reach. Opening it she saw it had Brittany's sleep shirts in it, luckily she liked to sleep in simple tees so she pulled out one that had the word _Naughty_ bedazzled on the front. She smirked at memories the shirt brought and leaned back to make sure she was truly alone before she pulled off her blouse and tugged the replacement over her head. It was a snug fit around the chest and she knew it wasn't exactly classy outwear but she planned to be at home and in bed within the hour. Preparing to close the trunk she took a deep comforting whiff of the shirt that smelled so distinctly of the woman she loved and closed the back of her car only to find a pair of brown eyes staring at her.

Santana hadn't been so terrified since she had first met Ella, "What the hell are you doing there?" she gasped unable to hide the fear in her voice.

"I scared you, my apologies."

"No seriously what are you doing down here?"

She gave an amused smile, "Am I not allowed? I parked down here too you know."

Clearing her throat Santana tried another tact, "I'm leaving and Mike clearly wants to show you the facility."

"And I thought I would take this moment to get to know you a little better since it seems like we will be working together for a while."

"Well you know my name and the only other thing you really need to know is I just got back from my honeymoon, with my wife, Brittany, who I am sure I have mentioned."

Selena gave a grin that reminded Santana of her Ohio self and it made her want to run, "Yes you have. Newlyweds you said?" she asked as if it was the most important clue in a murder mystery.

"Yes but we have known each other since middle school." She needed to be sure the smaller woman understood that there was no chance for her here.

"Oh I know that, I remember you two were always very close."

Santana stared unblinking for a few seconds as her brain played and replayed that last part trying to make it make sense, it wasn't happening, "Excuse me?"

Another cheshire smile crossed Selena's features, "I suppose I should come clean and tell you that I went to McKinley when you did."

"You…wha…"

The small brunette shrugged and took a step closer that Santana failed to notice, "I'm not surprised you don't remember me, back then I wasn't even enough of a geek for you to even bother to slushie but you did call me Selena Goathead once. Admittedly not one of your better taunts."

"Wait." Santana held up a hand and tried to let it all sink in while wracking her brain for someone who had looked anything like Selena in high school but came up empty. "You were in my year?"

"One year behind actually, we never hung around one another, obviously Goathead wasn't something I wanted to be called on a daily basis."

Somewhere faintly she sort of recalled a small girl she had teased because of a pretty serious facial hair issue but that couldn't have been the same person. That girl had been the definition of ugly and pathetic to the point that Santana didn't even bother teasing her as her the girl's body seemed to be making fun of itself.

She didn't realize it but she had her face scrunched up in the most unusual way as she tried to recall a particular teasing in her crowded bully history from over a decade ago, "Hold on… did you try and give me a Valentine's day card sophomore year?"

A genuine smile graced her sharp features, "Yes I did, earning me my charming nickname."

_Holy Shit._

Did her other self recall her? Did the other Brittany? Did it matter?

On the one hand she was sorry she had been such an ass to someone who had obviously harbored feelings for her in the past, but on the other this was Selena Novak and she could not feel bad for the woman who had drugged her and put her in one of the most painful positions she had ever been in.

But _this_ woman hadn't done anything. _Yet_. Except obviously flirt…

"I was a bit of a jerk in high school." She conceded.

"I expect that hasn't changed in adulthood." Selena said in a low voice and took another step forward finally alerting Santana as to how close they now were and she jumped back.

With the renewed distance she was able to see the other woman leering obviously at her breasts which still had Naughty written across them, covering herself she glared at her, "This isn't my shirt, I really have changed since then and I am very happy with my wife. Brittany. Whom you have met."

Selena giggled at that and Santana kind of wanted to punch her, "I wasn't flirting with you Santana I was just making an observation about the contradictory nature of the words coming from your plump lips and the one coming from your ample bosom."

By the time Santana was able to sort all the various layers of that double talk, Brittany appeared carrying a small bag which she tossed in the car before giving Santana a small kiss.

"Hey you ready?" Brittany asked.

"More than." She replied almost diving into the car.

Brittany gave Selena a proper farewell before getting behind the wheel and driving them home. A drive that had Santana fighting between trying to figure out how her actions had brought Selena to Florida and not caring about her existence at all.

* * *

><p>When Santana woke the next morning, well, afternoon as it was after three when she climbed out of bed, she hoped that it would be to find that everything from the night before had been a bad dream and that they were still in Paris. Instead she found Brittany downstairs already up and watching the audition tapes Mike had given her the day before, the bag sitting on the coffee table like some sort of evil omen. Sighing, Santana sat behind Brittany as she intently watched a man in a one piece leotard dance his little heart out for the part of Skimbleshanks.<p>

After roughly fourteen seconds she got bored and began to play with the blonde hair in front of her which led to her exposing Brittany's long neck that she couldn't keep herself from kissing. Actions that seemed to be totally ignored by her wife, even when the kisses traveled from her neck to her jaw.

Frustrated, Santana sat back with a huff, "Do you have to work so hard the day _after_ we get back from our honeymoon?"

"He obviously worked really hard on this dance and I want to make sure I don't miss anything. I promise once this is over I'm all yours."

"Wait this video or the play as a whole."

Brittany snorted, "The video, I'm not that patient."

Santana smiled widely and sat back waiting for the dance to finish, but as soon as one audition ended another would begin featuring some equally talented dancer. Soon Santana was bored again and to keep her hands occupied she decided to make some cereal to eat before rejoining Brittany on the couch.

Brittany glanced at her breakfast and giggled, "I love how you drive a Ferrari and eat Fruit Loops for lunch."

"It reminds me of eating-"_ with our kids_ would have been the rest of that sentence but she had never convinced herself that it would be wise to start spouting facts about her alternate life, especially since it involved an affair, more so now that the object of that affair was in their lives currently, "cereal when I was a kid, good times and all that."

"What do you think?" she asked turning back to the screen.

"I dunno he looks okay, you're the expert."

"Not about his dancing but about him. Do you think he could pull off being a railway cat? I'm not really seeing it."

She looked at the screen as the man spun and twirled, "You are also the cat expert." She said with a shrug and placed her empty bowl on the table.

Grudgingly she decided to leave Brittany to her video while she got started on the piles of work she still had to do. She gave the blonde a parting kiss before she got up only to find strong arms wrapped around her and pulling her closer.

Totally confused Santana looked to see there were still cast potentials on the screen, "Thought you didn't want to miss anything?" she said coyly.

"There is a rewind button and you taste like Fruit Loops." Brittany panted before kissing her again.

Santana pulled back laughing, "Really? Is that all I have to do to get in your pants, just spray on a little fragrance de Kellogg?"

"It's not my fault you mixed two of my favorite things, your kisses and fruity cereal." She said smiling before she kissed Santana again.

Pleased to finally be getting somewhere she allowed herself to be pulled off the couch into Brittany's lap and they were well on their way to being very naked in the living room when Brittany's phone went off. Santana growled when she groped for it and refused to stop her progress making Brittany's 'Hello' more of a gasp than a greeting.

Not caring what their friends thought of it, Santana continued to make talking a chore until she heard, "No I'm fine Selena but maybe we could set up a meeting another time." The name made Santana's head snap up and she looked at the phone intently, Brittany looked slightly disappointed but didn't halt her conversation, "I think I have a second now, when did you say? Um, okay does Mike know? I suppose but we haven't picked yet…"

Santana listened intently to their conversation not really knowing why she would need to police the conversation, all she did know was that if that woman said one thing to make Brittany cry she would go through the phone line and choke a bitch. However her role as peace keeper was interrupted by the sound of her own phone ringing from somewhere inside the couch cushions where it had fallen in her transition to the floor.

With a labored sigh she dug the phone out of its hiding spot and answered the call with a gruff, "What?"

"Wow, not how I expected the newlywed to answer her phone."

"Puck don't you have other people to call?"

"I don't think a lot of people call you to be social so it seems that my calls are at a high volume."

It was both annoying and surprising to realize he was right, "What do you want?"

"Paris had to have been amazing, this is not a bad honeymoon anger, this must be interrupted sex anger. My bad should have known." He said clearly prepared to hang up.

"Brittany's taking a call right now but the second she's done consider this conversation over."

"Ah there we go, the honeymoon went well. So I won't be me and ask for sordid details but just tell me, was it everything you thought it was going to be?"

She looked down at Brittany who was answering a string of questions she didn't particularly know the answer to, given the slight frown on her face and the way she was twirling her hair in her fingers, "No, it was way better than that."

"Great to hear. So I called to tell you I'll be down at your end for a few days shooting a cop drama and I have to shoot the bad guy in his Miami penthouse. I even got the writer to change it from Chicago just so we could hang. Now I just want to let you know we are going to a bar and I don't want to hear any of your paranoid ramblings about slipping up while we're out."

"Can't we just go to a restaurant?"

"Nope, bar and I feel I am compromising in not sending us to a strip club. I want to get shitfaced and I want to do it in public and I want my best friend there _equally_ as drunk. You gotta promise when I show you'll come."

Santana pinched the bridge of her nose, it would be easier to feign drunk than try and argue him out of this idea, "Yeah fine."

"Yeah fine what?"

"I promise okay." she huffed.

"Better, so what are you and the missus up to today? Besides, you know, the obvious."

"Catching up on all the work we missed out on. Britt's looking through applicants for the production of _Cats_ and I'm-"

"Whoa! Back up, _Cats_, the musical?"

"Yes, Puck, the musical." She said slowly.

"Quinn fucking loves musicals, dude you gotta let me audition."

Santana set her phone down for a moment as she cleaned her ear out because it had to be clogged, "One more time I misheard you."

"I want to be in the show."

Santana shifted the phone to her other ear, "_Cats_. You, Noah Puckerman, want to be in _Cats_?"

"I, Noah Puckerman, was in glee for three years so let's not get all surprised here, besides this is for a chick so is therefore totally acceptable by my standards."

"You are an A lister on the movie circuit just get them to set you up with something."

"It's way more complicated than that, I need a breakout role to be taken seriously by the big dogs on Broadway, you know the critics were pretty harsh on my last few movies even though they sold really well. I know I can do it and everyone is saying Chang's place is where it's at for a breakout performance."

Feeling a surge of pride that her promotion of the small Miami chain had made it to Hollywood she grinned to herself, "Maybe, but any role in this show requires a background in ballet which I know you do not have, besides aren't you all about giving off that manly image for the tabloids."

"Whatever Hugh Jackman was in _The Boy from Oz_ for shit's sake and he is still a shoe-in to play Wolverine so I think _I_ can handle being a bad ass cat for a bit. Plus I did ballet training for _Step it Up 3D_."

Seeing that Brittany was starting to wrap up her phone conversation, Santana felt less inclined to argue, "Fine, audition when you come down and whatever happens happens."

He thanked her but she never heard it as she hung up and pounced on Brittany the second her thumb clicked the end button.

* * *

><p>AN: Erm I'm going to be totally honest. The PSP Vita comes out on Wednesday... this may or may not affect when you hear from me again. I will try to resist but I already have three games and a shinny new case just waiting for adventure...

My friend (who swears she hates everything I write yet keeps reading *you know who you are*) continuously tells me it's bad form to ask for reviews all the time but I dunno I'm doing this for free in my limited spare time, I don't think you guys are obligated to write anything, but is it really so bad to ask? Feedback is sort of the only reason I do this at all...

So we have begun Santana's race to catch up to Ohio. Let me know what you think... if that's okay to ask... (now I feel like Fluttershy)


	16. Sometimes

**Sometimes Retreat, Advance and Stall All do the Same Thing**

* * *

><p>Working from home was advantageous in many ways though Santana could not deny the joy of working from the auditorium of the theatre. True the blaring music form the auditions made it nowhere near a quiet work environment but that wasn't really a problem while Brittany was up on stage with Mike showing him her routine for her part as Victoria.<p>

Rolling her neck she focused on her papers and began to look over the responses to their marketing campaigns. As she poured over the results she allowed the idea of starting an international school float around in her mind until a shadow ruined her limited light. She looked up to see Selena hovering over her, more accurately to see Selena's breasts almost pouring out of her too small top. Santana almost dropped all her papers leaping over several seats in an attempt to get away.

Selena seemed hardly perturbed and made her way to Santana's new position, "Are you getting lots of work done?" she asked as if nothing had just happened.

Santana pulled all her papers together in her lap and nodded as she had to lean back a row to get her bag to put them all in. Looking back she found Selena openly leering at her bottom and sat with a loud flop.

"I am, but I need to do something now so bye." She said not caring that she sounded rude and packed as quickly as possible before dashing from the row and moving to disappear somewhere backstage.

Santana had tried staying at home to avoid the woman but there had been some sort of debate about one of candidates for Mr. Mistoffelees that had put the whole casting call on hold so she'd had to step in which resulted in two obnoxious outcomes. The first was that Selena caved the moment she showed up all while batting her eyes in a 'I Just Can't Say No To You' kind of way and second Mike's frayed nerves caused him to beg her to stay nearby in case something else like that came up and halted their progress again. He had provided an office for her to work in so she wouldn't be inconvenienced, but it was far from the stage, surely to keep the music from breaking her concentration, and therefore was isolated and lonely. Santana was in no mood to be alone in some deserted back room with Selena on the loose so she had opted to work with all her papers in her lap either in the theatre seats or just offstage when it wasn't too inconvenient.

For the most part she had done a good job avoiding trouble, but then moments like these would happen and make her wish the damn musical was over already. The worst part was Selena was never openly inappropriate, the things she said and did were usually sly and just for Santana's eyes in such a way that she wasn't sure if it was real or imagined. If Selena had so much as tried any funny stuff she would tell the woman to go back to hell and stay there, but she hadn't really done anything and Brittany was so incredibly happy she decided to just hold her tongue and watch Selena very _very_ carefully.

Scrambling around to the side of the stage, she set her things down out of the way and watched as Brittany stood from the end of her performance giving a tiny bow. She said something to Mike to cause the man to laugh hard as he casually placed an arm around her shoulder.

"Hmmm, the owner and the star dancer are quite close, quick you should make out with me to make her jealous."

Selena's laugh tittered from behind her and Santana almost leapt out of her skin, "What-"

"Kidding calm down." She said smiling, holing up her hands in defense.

Mike announced they would wait a few more minutes before returning to their casting duties and walked away allowing Santana to sprint on stage and to Brittany's side where she kissed her deeper and longer than was called for as a greeting.

"Did you like it?" Brittany asked, her smile turned up to full power.

"I love everything you do." Santana said looking deep into her eyes.

"I do too, your dances are always awe inspiring." Selena said as she sauntered up.

Santana slipped behind Brittany possessively wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her head on Brittany's shoulder unwilling to deal with her stalker at the moment.

Brittany shot a confused look over her shoulder, but answered anyway, "Thank you I worked really hard on it."

"Mmmm we both did." Santana said giving her wife a small squeeze.

At least that was partly true, Brittany had stood in her home studio for hours practicing and Santana had pranced around in outfits that were designed to distract leading to several off schedule breaks.

Turning slightly red at the memory Brittany nodded, "She helped me with cardio."

"I see." Selena said, a smile gracing her features.

"Britt and I should go enjoy her break while it lasts." Santana said tugging at Brittany's arm as she led her wife away from Selena.

Brittany waved as she was pulled backstage and into Santana's disused office, the smaller woman slammed the door shut and pressed her ear to it to try and detect the incoming footsteps of persons unwanted. When only continued silence met her ears did she back up and turn to a very stern faced Brittany.

"What's with you and Selena? You're always so weird around her."

"What? Nu-uh, she just gives me the creeps." She replied quickly.

Brittany shuffled her feet as Santana leaned heavily against the door, "You aren't upset that she's with Miles now are you?"

Understanding how serious this was to her Santana didn't laugh in her face, but the notion was absurd enough to make that a difficult task, "Even if I cared twice as much about Miles now as I did when we were dating I still wouldn't give a crap." When Brittany tilted her head in confusion she clarified, "No way."

"Are you sure?"

Santana approached and pulled the taller woman close, "Two-hundred percent. I just think Selena's out to sneak a peek at my treats."

Brittany laughed, "Really? I mean she would be kind of insane not to give you a once over because you are all kinds of hot, but I think she's pretty cool."

_Because she's a world class actress_.

"Yeah maybe I'm overreacting." Santana dismissed.

There would be no good to come out of convincing Brittany of the true danger of Selena, it would ruin her day at best and force the other woman to put an end to the musical at worst. Santana reminded herself that she was just going to have to stay on guard.

For a few more months.

The thought was daunting and she turned to the door ready to face her long sentence when Brittany stopped her and sent a look that made it all worthwhile.

* * *

><p>When the casting call began again Santana felt much better about her situation, a feeling enhanced by Brittany's parting gift, which was still sending sparks off all throughout her body. She even managed not to care when Selena came and sat in the seat right next to her.<p>

"I see you enjoyed your break."

Santana squeezed her eyes shut and cooled her temper, "Selena, seriously I am very happily married and I am not window shopping for something on the side so please stop."

The brown eyes fixed on hers only sparkled at that and Santana wondered what in the hell she had said this time to encourage the woman.

"You keep reiterating that she is your wife that you love so dearly, but I obviously heard and understood the first time. It makes me wonder who you are trying to convince."

Santana felt her eye twitch as she replayed their exchange and her eyes rolled slightly as she attempted to follow what had just happened. It dawned on her slowly this was the level of mind games the other Santana had to put up with.

"I don't need to convince anyone of anything, she _is_ my wife and I _do_ love her. You just seem to think I'm kidding or something because every time I tell you to back off there you are to piss me off by acting like we have some sort of thing where I run because I want you to chase."

"Why run at all Santana? You're married and happy remember?"

"Yes I remember you-" Santana cut herself off and stood, "Not going to bother, I'm _walking_ away before I make a scene."

Selena watched her with a grin that make her skin crawl.

* * *

><p>The next day arrived with a whole new determined Santana.<p>

She didn't care what Selena said or did, she wasn't going to let the other woman get to her ever again. Yes she was terrified to get so much as a flu shot until Selena was out of town for fear that the psychotic woman would somehow tamper with the needle and ultimately ruin her marriage.

_Otherwise_ she had no fear.

When she and Brittany arrived at the theatre she left the car with an iron will to let Selena know that under no circumstances would she be allowed to continue with her little mind games.

She walked in the doors and down the long aisle leading to the stage expecting to be intercepted by the smaller woman at any moment but didn't see her at all. It did relieve her to know that for once they had arrived before the villain. Brittany spotted Mike and dashed over to talk dance with him while Santana watched, her confident smirk firmly in place.

Until the very woman she had been looking for slipped up behind her and to Santana's intense horror thrust a needle to her neck.

With incredibly fast reflexes she slapped the other woman's hand away and watched the needle soar harmlessly through the air and skitter to a stop by Brittany's feet.

Where she was able to clearly identify it as a pen.

_Oops._

Looking back at Selena she could see the woman was part surprised but mostly amused, "I like a rough good morning as much as the next girl but please let's keep it private." Selena said with a wink.

Santana could feel her face heat up as Brittany came over looking totally confused and Mike looked like he might have a heart attack.

"Morning Selena, you dropped your pen." Brittany said kindly while shooting questioning glances as Santana.

"Thought it was a weapon." she muttered still totally embarrassed.

Selena took the offered writing utensil to the clipboard in her arms, "You have this one wound tight, maybe you need to spend some time relieving her stress." she said sending Santana a purely flirtatious look.

A look Brittany completely missed as she laughed, "If she's stressed it's certainly not because of that." she said before giving Santana a kiss on the neck that ended in a little nip.

That resulted in even more blood rushing to Santana's face though it definitely went far to sooth her irritation at the other woman. So did the look of blatant jealously that crossed Selena's features.

"Is everything alright?" Mike said as he finally made his way over.

"Yes I was trying to show Santana today's itinerary and she mistook it for an assassination attempt, an easy mistake." Selena said with a pleasant smile.

"Right." he said slowly glancing at a still blushing Santana, "Well we already have a full day today so let's get started."

"Stop the presses! I'm here. Your lead has arrived." Announced a voice from across the auditorium.

Puck made his way down to the stage Hollywood style with a leather jacket, shades on indoors and a small woman running after him telling him he had to wait. Santana resisted the urge to roll her eyes and told the poor receptionist to not worry about him.

"For someone who wants to be taken seriously you are off to a bad start." she said sighing.

Puck leapt easily up onto the stage and pulled his jacket off revealing his black wife beater underneath, "Yeah but there are about a million wannabe's out there and when they saw me they all wanted to take a picture or get an autograph plus I have to be on set in like ten minutes so I couldn't really wait."

"Ummm Puck…" Mike started.

"Cool it Chang, already heard it from Lady Lopez number two over there." he said pointing to Santana.

"How am I number two?" she scoffed.

"Going in order of rank. Now don't worry your pretty little heads I can take rejection like a man just sit down and let me do my thang and after I have left you all speechless you may make your decision."

For a moment Mike looked like he wanted to object further, but Selena moved to a seat clearly ready to see his performance. Santana had warned Brittany he might try this so she joined without another word and where Brittany went Santana went, leaving Mike to shrug heavily and follow.

The four of them sat and waited patiently for Puck to begin, several seconds later bass exploded out of the speakers to a techno beat that felt like it might shake them out of their seats. Then he started to move. Move, because to call it a dance would have been unfair to the word. Santana's best guess was that he was aiming for something between ballet, club dancing and the tootsie roll.

Thirty excruciating seconds later Mike finally halted the performance and silence fell, it was total and complete except for the sound of Puck's heavy breathing.

Santana had long ago decided to stay out of it and Mike seemed to be searching for the best way to let his friend down, Selena on the other hand looked pensive, and that worried her more than anything.

"You really suck." Brittany said blatantly.

"Um, well, I mean, we all know you can dance... somewhat." Mike quickly corrected, "And I see where you tried to get to the more technical aspects of the required-"

"I mean really badly." the blonde continued.

"What part were you trying out for?" Selena asked.

"Rum Tum Tugger." Puck answered, and though he still insanely had his sunglasses on Santana could tell he just threw the small woman a wink.

"I don't think it would be a terrible idea to have a celebrity in the cast." Selena said quietly to those closest.

Brittany wrinkled her nose, "I do if he dances like that."

Selena gave a longsuffering look, "Yes, Brittany his dancing leaves something to be desired but you and Mike _teach_ dance do you not?"

"We don't have the time to teach a featured dancer how to dance." Mike interrupted.

"I have seen this show before, that role is really more thrust than dance and he has plenty of that."

Mike threw Santana a desperate look and she just averted her eyes.

"Ms. Novak his character would participate in several other numbers as well so he really would need to know what he was doing."

"Clearly you need some time to think on it. I'm gonna go cause I'm already late. Santana you can tell me what you guys decide later today when I pick you up cause we are going out." Puck said as he collected his jacket and with one final wave he leapt off the stage and out through the side doors.

"It reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite but like waaay worse." Brittany mused.

"I say we at least consider him." Selena added.

"We aren't even casting for Rum Tum Tugger until next week." Mike sighed rubbing his eyes harshly.

* * *

><p>By the time the casting call was over they had one very excited brunette who had been instantly given the role of Bombalurina due to her exceptional vocals and amazing footwork. Mike had several others in mind before she came along but, though he was just as impressed, wanted to think on the decision. He was vetoed by Brittany, a move possible by her excitedly declaring that the girl was her top pick making her Santana's which annoyingly made her Selena's. Santana almost felt bad about it but Mike seemed happy with the final choice regardless.<p>

When they left the theatre it was dark, allowing Selena to successfully play the _Wait, let's walk to our cars together_ card. Santana felt her teeth grinding as the woman followed, even though Brittany had her arm laced through hers the clicking of Selena's heels was like a the ticking of a doom clock. When she looked up however she began to think that the feeling might have been more than metaphorical.

As they stepped out into the garage, there still in his ridiculous leather jacket and shades combo, stood Puck leaning against the back door of a limousine. Santana's instincts were telling her to run and she wasn't sure why.

Instead she just raised an eyebrow and called out to him, "So can I assume you want everyone in Miami to know where you're going?"

"It was either a limo or a taxi since we are going to be too wasted to drive and the studio lent me this little baby I figured why the hell not."

"Oh planning on doing some drinking?" Said Selena clearly interested.

"Yes we are pretty lady and you can come along." Puck said smiling widely at her.

Santana tried not to scream, "Uh, I don't think that's a good idea."

"I do." Selena said.

"Likewise." Puck said this time lifting his glasses to display his wink.

"Britt should come too." Santana said almost desperately.

"Honey I can't, Mike and I have a full day tomorrow and I still want to get some practice in before I go to sleep."

"But-"

"You did promise you'd hang out with him, I heard you. Go and have fun, I'll see you when you get in." Brittany said sweetly before giving her a quick parting kiss.

"But-"

Puck tugged at the collar of her shirt, "The leash has officially been handed off to me Lopez come on. Remember you promised." he said and she could tell he really did want to spend time with her.

Turning to face the limo she saw the open door with Selena waving at her from the interior, "Please tell me there is something strong in there."

Puck sniggered, "Polished that off on the way here. We, madam, are going to have to go in search of our desired beverages."

An almighty groan accompanied Santana into the back of Puck's limousine.

* * *

><p>The ride passed well enough since the vehicle offered Santana plenty of seating options that put her far away from Selena. Unfortunately the bar itself did not, mainly because of the booth that they had squeezed into left her trapped between Puck and the last woman on earth she ever wanted to have to sit next to.<p>

"We are starting with tequila and working our way further into the land of oblivion from there." Puck announced as the waitress appeared with shot glasses and a bottle.

Santana grimaced at the sight, "What's wrong with beer?"

"Because it requires eight bathroom breaks before I even get a good buzz going. No more whining out of you missy."

"What is the occasion?" Selena asked taking the offered glass.

He paused and frowned at her for a moment, "I just realized I have no idea who you are."

She giggled in that tittering way of hers and offered a hand, "Selena Novak, pleased to meet you."

He shook it and glanced at Santana who understood the unasked question, "She's Miles' new girl, she is overseeing the musical in his place since he invested in it."

"Oh! Well in that case have another." he said refilling her glass the moment she had downed the first mouthful.

Puck took two shots back to back and filled Santana's glass, she sighed and drained it glowering when it was immediately filled again.

"Don't glare at me, I said drunk and I meant it." Puck warned.

"I want to take it slow tonight."

"Really has Brittany domesticated you that hard? Drink the damn tequila!"

She downed the shot scowling at him and he scowled back as he filled her glass again.

"You never did answer my question, why the need for drunkenness tonight?" Selena asked earning her another refill.

"Does there always need to be a reason? How about it be a celebration of my role in _Cats_ huh?" he said with another wink.

"I don't know about all that, you didn't exactly impress anyone with that… whatever it was. Did you ask Finn for dance tips or what?" Santana said inconspicuously pushing her glass away.

He laughed and gave himself another shot, "I'm not surprised it looked bad, I kind of made it up as I went along. I thought I would have more time to practice, but filming went long on the set so I didn't have as much free time as I thought I would."

"But you still showed up, that took guts." Selena said flatteringly.

"Figured I'd wing it and let my charm do the rest." he said flashing a sloppy smile.

"I enjoyed the display."

Santana snorted, "I thought you looked like an idiot. Besides theatre isn't your thing, and it would take you away from Quinn."

He frowned heavily, "Like that matters, she's working on a bunch of big time cases or something right now so we really haven't seen that much of each other and it's really tough. I mean, I'm me and chicks are lining up to be all over this and Quinn's at home ordering an electrical fence for her chastity belt."

"Is that what this is really about? The audition and the drinking, it's all you trying to deal with how things are with her?"

"Quinn was your friend on the cheerleading squad wasn't she?" Selena asked.

"None of your business." Santana snapped at her, "Look Puck you can't give up on her, you two have come so far-"

"Wait wasn't she pregnant? Back in high school?" Selena said her face contorted in concentration.

Santana clenched her fists and kept them at her side because otherwise she was going to blacken the woman's eye, "Yes." she gritted out.

Puck raised a hand, "My bad on that one."

"Did you guys talk?" Santana asked.

"We did. For a long time and she really has forgiven me for everything, but she still has this fear of us hooking up, like it will change everything. She says being with me brings up all that emotional shit from when she had Beth and she thinks sleeping with me will make it worse."

"What did you say to that?"

"Nothing, what the hell could I say? _No Quinn once we start sleeping together there will be no shift in how either of us feel, I swear upon my honor_." he said in a mocking British voice.

"She sounds like more trouble than she's worth. I always remember that she was a bit of a fickle bitch." Selena added.

Again Santana had to calm her fists before she spoke, "Stay out of this. I cannot stress how much I mean that."

Selena shrugged and downed another shot as Santana turned back to Puck who was refilling both his and Selena's glasses, "We both know Quinn is worth it and maybe being intimate with her will bring some of the past back, I don't know, but is that such a bad thing? To remember Beth?"

"Is Beth another girlfriend?" Selena asked.

Before Santana could retort Puck slammed the bottle down and yanked his sunglasses off tossing them on the table, "I do not want to talk about this Santana, I just want to get drunk and forget it all."

"It isn't going to fix anything. You've always been the one to call me out on my shit well here's me returning the favor. She's scared and so are you. You're both parents of a child that neither of you have, you loved her and I think she might be the only woman you ever let have that spot and we both know how much I can relate to that. So please trust me when I say it is a huge mistake to let your libido get in the way here."

"This isn't all about sex! You're right she may be the only woman I ever thought of when the word love comes up but it's more than that. This is totally different from you and Brittany. We're alike you know? This love bullshit doesn't affect us but when it does it's strong and it's for one person but…" he paused and stared at the now half empty bottle. "Brittany always loved you, she wanted you every bit as much as you wanted her. I had to trick Quinn into my bed and when I did I ruined her life. I feel like she's my one and only chance to have what you and Britt have but with her feeling that way..." He frowned at the bottle harder before he shoved his glass aside and took a healthy swallow straight from the source.

"Then make her feel it." Selena said, and her voice was so strong and sure not even Santana thought to tell her to shut up, "The world is too full of people who are a bad match for you, who you won't or could never love. If Quinn is your one and only then don't let anything stop you from getting her _including_ her. You make her yours and don't let her go, _make_ her see that you are the best thing for her."

For a moment Santana had to choose between agreeing and encouraging Puck to never give up and telling Selena that her creeper behavior was not going to get her anywhere near her marital bed. Deciding that Puck's issue was more pressing since he was clearly struggling she nodded.

"That may not be the answer in every case." she said eying Selena, "But that does sort of apply for you and Quinn. You two can have a really great life together I know it, just let her see the side of you that cares and she won't be so afraid to herself. And you're right we are alike, Brittany loved me so much and it was so obvious to literally everyone but me, trust me when I say the same thing is happening here."

He shrugged, "Maybe but that's for another day." Santana opened her mouth to protest but he held his hand up, "I understand and I will stick with her and keep up the good fight by showing her all the love and care in the world and be damned if I quit trying to get at least a hand up her skirt but for now, MORE TEQUILA!" he shouted to the waitress who walked by.

"I can't help but notice you aren't drinking Santana." Selena said smoothly.

Santana glared irately as Puck glanced at her still full glass, "Hey! No cheating, empty that glass this instant."

Immediately she became suspicious of it, the glass had been out of her sight and within arm's reach of Selena the entire time she had been talking to Puck. She doubted this woman walked around with roofies on her all day every day in case the opportunity to drug someone came up however she wasn't willing to bet her marriage on it. Feigning clumsiness she reached for the glass and 'accidentally' knocked it over.

"Whoops." she said staring down Selena who seemed amused by the display.

"You ass." Puck grumbled and filled it again.

"My glass touched nasty bar table I need a fresh one." she said not wanting any drug residue in her next drink.

Grabbing it she tried to stand but Puck snatched it from her and stumbled to his feet, "Nope you sit there, I don't need you trying to slip out the back and running home to Britt."

"Yes we wouldn't want that." Selena purred as he walked away.

"Why are you here?" Santana asked immediately, eyes narrowed.

Selena seemed taken aback by the question, "For drinks I assumed."

"In Florida, well, with Miles really, how did you end up with him?"

She rolled her eyes coyly, "The same way you did I would imagine. He saw what I had to offer and wanted it for himself, the feeling was mutual and here I am today."

"But… why aren't you still in Lima?" she knew how absurd the question sounded without any sort of explanation. What in the hell kind of question was 'Why did you leave Lima?' The answer was almost always, 'Because it was Lima.'

"I did consider staying. My father was in a position to get me any sort of job I wanted since he had friends in high places. But after you up and left, Ohio didn't seem so grand." she said and downed her shot never breaking eye contact with Santana.

"You followed me out of Ohio?" she asked incredulously.

"I didn't follow you exactly. I left and went to school for a while but I saw you again when I went to visit my father in Boston. He took me to one of his benefits and there you were. It was before you were with Miles and I remember seeing you and thinking that you had become even more beautiful since school and just like then you never noticed me. We were even introduced by my father, but you didn't even glance in my direction, which makes it that much more curious as to why you seem so interested in me now."

Santana leaned back in her seat with her eyebrows up, "I'm not _interested_ in you I-"

"Anyway after that I became inclined to move to Boston, and in my stay I came across Miles. That was where I found I had just missed you, however he had been having a hard time finding someone to replace you since no other woman was naturally as disinterested in his comings and goings and I can play straight as well as the next girl."

"And he just so happened to send you down here to watch over my wife's musical?" Santana asked unnecessarily already understanding that it had been no coincidence.

"I may have seen your name attached to the project and brought it to Miles' attention and I _may_ have volunteered to oversee this investment even though there are far more qualified people for the job."

"I was bound to run into you no matter what I did." Santana said distractedly.

"I suppose." Selena replied scooting closer.

Seeing that she leaned back but her retreat was cut off by Puck shoving her back into the booth, "Had to pee." he said and handed Santana her glass.

"Gross." she grumbled.

"I washed my hands." he poured her a shot and stared at her hard until she had drank it. "Excellent now refills all around."

Selena downed hers with a twinkle in her eye and Santana vowed to slip away and get her hands on a bottle of water and some food to try and stay as sober as possible.

* * *

><p>It was difficult to convince Puck to let her escape the table but once free she was able to down a bottled water and ingest some breaded goods before she returned. At that point in the night Selena and Puck were looking tipsy and sloshed respectively, she wasn't sure if it was because the little woman knew how to hold her liquor or because Puck was trying to literally drown his problems in a new bottle of Jäger.<p>

She felt bad for him, she had no idea what she would have done if Brittany had kept her at an arm's length for a year. Even though her quick acceptance was indeed laced with desperation, Santana preferred that to the alternative that would have them still dating now instead of married. The thought must have put a signature smile on her face because as she approached the table again Puck leapt up and shoved her back in her ill loved spot between him and Selena.

"See that 'leena?" He slurred pointing to her, "That's her stupid thinkin' bout Britt face. It's like sicknin' how much they're all o'er each other."

"Don't be a hater Puck." Santana said before she watched his head collapse in his arms.

He had fallen into a temporary sleep that she knew he would suddenly spring back from demanding more liquor. The only part about it that bothered her was that it left her alone with Selena.

"He would do well to just be patient, persistence can get you most anything." Selena said, intoxication making her accent heavier.

Looking up to the ceiling Santana hoped that her next words would finally sink in, "Selena there is no way in hell we will ever be together, as a matter of fact, friendship for us is sitting pretty by the words never and ever. I am _not_ interested in you, not even a teeny tiny bit. And even if I wasn't married to the woman of my dreams you _still_ wouldn't have a chance because you are a crazy manipulative bitch and I stress the word crazy. Here you may think 'Gee Santana thinks bad things about me, maybe I should show her she's wrong.' Don't, because I'm not. How do I know? Let's just say I have a feeling."

Selena listened with a smile on her face that didn't falter once, a fact that made Santana want to just leave, Puck and his crisis be damned.

"You are always so quick to throw your marriage in my face, as I said it makes you seem a little insecure. I understand though, I would be too if I were in your position."

"And what position do you think that is?" she snapped bristling.

"You know as well as I do why Brittany is really with you. I did my research you know. You came back to her years after a crushing breakup only to have her take you in her arms right away. And look at you now, a year later and you're happily married."

She released a longsuffering sigh, "What, if anything, is your point?"

"Isn't it obvious? She took you back for the money of course."

The idea was so absurd Santana forgot to be irritated, "Who did?"

"Brittany. It's the only explanation. She is a dancer at a small, hole in the wall dance studio that is barely on its feet and here comes an old flame loaded with money and willing to throw it all away in pursuit of her. Why wouldn't she take you back? Please don't tell me this never crossed your mind. Santana honestly, we are obviously both women who know the advantage of relationships based around cash."

For a brief second she considered Selena's words but almost immediately shook them out of her head, "Listen I know you think you know about me and Britt, but clearly you don't know shit. Brittany has always loved me more than I have ever deserved and your one minute analysis of our relationship isn't going to make me doubt that. And hey, let's say you're right and Brittany did get back together with me for my money. Fine. She is certainly welcome to it, I know she's more than earned it putting up with me as long as she has. I gave up Miles' money to get her and I'd give up every dime I've earned to keep her."

Selena seemed surprised by her answer, "Don't you think that's a little foolish?"

"What's foolish is chasing after a married woman you had a crush on when you were a teenager when that person has repeatedly told you hell fucking no!"

Her brown eyes narrowed and for a moment Santana feared she may have unleashed the nutjob within and leaned back a little, "You keep telling me no but I haven't asked anything of you."

"Can you drop the act please? We both know you have been flirting with me since we first met."

Suddenly she moved and with the speed of a serpent she was inches from Santana's face practically breathing her air, "Because I feel your eyes on me every second of every day that we are in the same room."

Before Santana could jerk back she had returned to her reclined position, "That has nothing to do with-"

"Yore Mäger!" Puck yelled suddenly making Santana jump in surprise.

"I think you have had enough." Selena giggled.

Though she really wanted to try and continue to pound the _No way, not now, not ever_ message into Selena's head she had to agree that even for Puck things were going too far, "Come on man it's time to go home."

"N'way, you aint nearly's drunk's me."

"He has a point." Selena said softly.

"I know, I'm sorry I'll try harder next time okay? You're just way better at getting drunk than me."

"I yam." he hiccuped with a happy smile.

She helped him up and with no small amount of effort got him out to the parking lot, they paused for a moment while his body returned some of the purchased liquor to the bar's asphalt, and eventually she was able to slide him back into the limo with an ice bucket prepared for any other returns his stomach might make.

The only upside to the whole thing was Selena returned to the theatre by taxi leaving Santana alone with her ailing friend. She was able to talk the driver into helping her get Puck to his hotel room and after making sure he was tucked in she was finally able to go home. The night had been a disaster, leaving her tense and worried about what the future held until she flopped into bed and was immediately engulfed in Brittany's warm embrace. She hadn't woken as far as Santana could tell, it was just a reflex to her getting in the bed. It made her smile as she nuzzled up close to Brittany's chest and fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks again to my beta (Jellysnack) who is also responsible for the idea of Puck making an ass out of himself on stage.

I know I am making everyone nervous here, and you should be, this is nerve wracking stuff, however no one seems to quite know where I'm going to go with this Selena thing. Trust me though, everything happens for a reason.

The next part is actually finished (I bogged down for you guys) and is awaiting quality control a la beta-ing so I shall return to my game of Lumines on my Vita. (and yes I am fully aware Playstation notoriously has the worst launch titles but there are fun games out now. Besides good games take a long time to make so I don't even grudge them that)

OH! Also if you don't follow me on tumblr or you do but never check my site you should start in the next week or so. There is currently some info there on some possible one shots for Ohio and there will soon be some story voting options in the next week or so that will determine what I post in my downtime. If you care just jump on over and let me know, or pm me, or whatever. (tumblr info is in my profile)

As always I love reviews and I love em at any length, if you think it's worth writing I think it's worth reading.


	17. SSDD

**SSDD: Same Shit Different Dimension**

* * *

><p>It was a Saturday that greeted Santana with a pounding headache, one born of irritation with her current situation rather than the marathon drinking binge Puck had put them on. She originally had no intention of joining him on more than one night, however she felt she had to. Given his depression over Quinn and pent up sexual energy, combined with the ever increasing number of fans who began to take notice that the famous Noah Puckerman was frequenting their local bars, she decided to keep an eye on him. The number of women who would walk up and openly offer a quickie was ridiculous and though he was able to let them down gently, occasionally an offer would come along that he was too drunk to fend off and she would have to do it for him. It of course led to tabloid stories about her and Puck being an item but luckily Brittany found it to be the funniest thing she ever heard and Quinn agreed.<p>

He had not gotten a part in the musical, but both he and Santana felt it was for the best since it was clear he had only been using it as a way to avoid dealing with Quinn directly. In two more days he would go back to New York and Santana could finally start to spend more of her nights at home. In the meantime the little sleep she did get only partially recharged her batteries, between policing Puck at night and ducking Selena in the day, Santana was worn out. When she finally pulled herself out of bed she stumbled slightly while standing and for a moment it seemed worth it to fall to the floor just to get a few more seconds of sleep. But then Brittany sat up having woken as well and Santana threw on her happy face. She certainly didn't want the other woman worrying especially while she was having the time of her life. The casting for the show was almost complete and she now spent her days preparing for her part, she was in her element and it showed on her face from the moment she woke in the morning.

Brittany was out of bed almost immediately and as she dressed she sang quietly to herself, swaying through the steps of one dance then another. As always watching her made Santana feel that all the stress was worth it.

They dressed and picked up breakfast on the way to the theatre since nowadays Brittany was far too impatient to wait for Santana to fix something for her. They arrived around the same time as Mike and as soon as they met they began to talk excitedly about the day's work in sorting out the role of Jemima. Santana watched her go with a sigh and turned to see Selena standing nearby jotting down some notes, making her sigh even more heavily.

"Good morning." Selena said in a chipper tone.

Santana gave her a level stare, nothing she had done in the days since they had gone out drinking had deterred the small woman from her giving hungry eyes. The look persisted every time they talked alone and often in the presence of others though never to their knowledge.

"Back off." Santana replied before heading to her usual seat in the auditorium.

It was with no small amount of effort that she didn't outright scream when Selena, leering obviously, settled next to her as she opened her laptop.

"What?" she snapped.

In her usual response to Santana's anger she smiled back, "Why such hostility? I just wanted discuss some of the choices for the next casting call."

"I don't care Selena, email them to me or something. Just sit somewhere else!"

"Is my proximity really that distracting for you?"

Three deep calming breaths later Santana refocused on her computer and shook her head, "Know what? Sit there, I don't give a shit." she said deciding to just ignore her.

"That is a lovely skirt by the way." she said casually.

Santana was indeed wearing a skirt that rode several inches above the knee, now sitting she felt like far too much of her thigh was exposed. She tugged at the hem uselessly until she gave up and pushed her computer further down her lap.

A knowing grin spread across Selena's face but she didn't say anything else as the first audition of the day began. Mike and Brittany sat in the front row, as always their attention fixed on the dancer before them and Selena observed quietly from the back. Though it was all quite routine, Santana was tense as a drawn bow the entire time. Half of her attention was always on the person next to her for fear of some sort of attack all while being aware that her attentiveness was what was fueling the fire. But it wasn't like she could just relax around the woman.

Mike called a halt to the casting call for their regularly scheduled break but turned down Brittany's offer to join her and Santana during their lunch, something Santana was secretly grateful for since she preferred it just be the two of them.

Brittany seemed puzzled by his response for a moment then a knowing look took over her features, "You're interviewing for our new dance instructor aren't you."

Mike nodded, "Yeah she should be here shortly, she's good and if this interview works out I would want her to keep teaching after the musical is over so she can be on standby to replace you."

Santana's head snapped to Brittany, "Replace you why?"

Brittany gave her a slightly confused smile, "For when I go on maternity leave. We agreed we'd try after the show right? Someone has to take my place at the studio when this is all over."

"Oh!" she said understanding and wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist reassuringly, "Yeah we did, that's perfect then."

Rather than take off immediately Brittany hung around, eager to meet her potential replacement and Santana waited patiently at her side. Boredom began to creep in until the new hire walked in the door and shock spurred Santana to speak.

"Jamie?"

The dark girl looked up at the sound of her name and Santana knew immediately that she had been right, it was the same girl who had been head of the Cheerio's in Ohio. The confidence and determination in her eyes hadn't changed one bit, she looked as fierce as she had in the other world, though now it was tinged with confusion.

Realizing that she had never been a high school cheerleading coach, Santana just waved lightly and received a slow one in return.

"You know her?" Brittany asked.

"Yeah but she won't remember me. She would be a great replacement for you, she works hard and is good at nailing difficult routines with minimal instruction."

Intrigued, Brittany walked over and introduced herself with Mike, the greeting was reciprocate politely, but when Santana approached her eyes became wary.

"Have we met before?" Jamie asked her immediately.

"No. You went to McKinley though right? You participated in their routine at Nationals?" She was guessing, but it was unlikely anything in her life had changed where the girl went to high school or her decision to join the Cheerios, and with her on the team there was no way they didn't go to Nationals.

"Yeah I was."

"Awesome! I was a Cheerio!" Brittany cheered.

Her attention refocused, Jamie turned to the bouncing blonde, "That I knew, it's why I signed up to work at this studio since it's run by McKinley graduates."

"Judging from what you submitted to me it was an easy win, you are quite talented." Mike said.

"Santana was on the team with me and she funds most of the stuff we do, so McKinley pretty much rules down here."

Jamie laughed, "I admit I was a little homesick when I came looking for the studio, I don't really know why, but I figured being around Lima natives might help, plus it's pretty inspiring. The only reason I even looked you guys up was because I was looking for a list of successful graduates and the list is pretty short."

"Not that it's really my place to ask but aren't you going to college?" Santana asked.

"I'm taking online courses for core classes for now and if the dance thing doesn't work out I'll start attending fulltime, but I expect to blow everyone away with my dancing and regardless of what happens I'll get my BA." she said like getting a bachelors while teaching dance and performing well enough to be the replacement for a rising studio's lead dancer was no big deal.

Santana nodded, "If anyone can do it you can."

Jamie obviously agreed, but was clearly bewildered by Santana's surety having only just met her, "Thank you."

"We better go I need to be back in time to start the auditions again." he turned to Jamie apologetically, "Sorry I'm having to squeeze you in on a lunch break, but we have been really busy lately."

"That's fine, it's what I hope to be able to help with."

As they walked away disappearing out the front door Santana's eyes fell on Selena who seemed to be innocently texting on her phone. Santana's eyes narrowed because that woman was anything but innocent and her seeming to be was suspicious in and of itself. However, her apprehensions were wiped from her mind as Brittany guided her to the break room. The lunches Santana had made for them had been stored in the mini fridge and they spent their allotted break eating and talking about upcoming plans for rehearsals, at least Brittany did while Santana listened contentedly.

All too soon Mike returned and found them just finishing up, he crashed their parade by telling them it was time to get back to casting, he lit the floats on fire when he showed up with Selena at his side. She slid in observing the remains of their lunch as Santana packed up.

"That looks like it was quite good." she commented noting totally empty containers.

Brittany nodded smiling, "Santana's an excellent cook."

"Are you?" she asked her eyes widening in a surprised fashion to which Santana rolled her eyes.

"I know my way around a kitchen."

"Come on Britt the first act is already up there." Mike said as he walked down the hall.

"Coming!" she called, dashing out the door leaving Santana looking worriedly after her.

This was probably her first time totally unsupervised in a room alone with Selena and it was making her exceedingly nervous.

"Do you think you could make something for me sometime?" Selena asked leaning against the counter at the far side of the room.

Reassured by the distance between them Santana found the courage to keep moving, "Fuck no." she snapped as she placed the last of their containers in the bag they had come in. Brittany's thermos was still out on the counter, unfortunately it was the section closest to Selena and she had to hold back a gulp as she approached.

Anticipating her actions, Selena picked up the thermos and handed it over, her eyes dancing as Santana took it gingerly desperately trying to avoid skin on skin contact. To her relief the smaller woman let go without making a scene. The weight told her there was still liquid inside and deciding that Brittany may want her juice later she walked over to return it to the fridge. She was so grateful to put so much distance between her and Selena that she almost let out a relieved sigh.

She placed the thermos on the shelf and decided that from that point on she would stop being so jumpy, there was no reason she couldn't be wary of the woman and not also be a nervous wreck.

For most people there is some common phrase, or action that doesn't really make any sense. For Brittany it was most things but for Santana it had always been the portrayal of mortal wounds in films. Like how the hero would get shot and not notice or even believe it until he saw the blood on his finger tips. She always found that insane; how could anyone not know they had been shot? And even if adrenaline made it painless why were they always so slow to take in the evidence pouring out of their guts?

When she stood and turned around she finally got it.

It was a representation of being presented with the cold hard reality of a situation and not believing it despite everything because it is so sudden and illogical. The hero didn't know he had been shot even with the blood running down his side because before that moment he had been invincible, he was the hero after all he couldn't get shot.

The same problem was before her now as not only had Selena somehow crossed the thirty foot distance between the counter and the fridge swiftly and silently, she had also slid her hand under her skirt a with a wicked grin. Slim fingers caressed the flesh of her upper thigh on the way to the juncture between her legs, the air in her lungs vanished because in those infinite seconds she completely forgot to breathe.

After the initial shock she had to figure out her next move, she needed the hand removed but she wanted to punch Selena in her stupid face as soon as possible. It seemed like an eternity that she wrestled with the decision though her pause lasted about two seconds, and right when her body and mind unanimously agreed that the left hand would punch _while_ the right pushed the intrusive hand away the problem vanished.

One moment Selena was in front of her, hand up her skirt, and the next there was nothing but thin air before her. Momentarily Santana thought she had seen some sort of paranoid illusion but the sound of a loud crash corrected her thinking.

Turning she saw Brittany had Selena by the throat slammed flush against the wall. Her mouth fell open uselessly because there were absolutely no words coming to mind.

"I don't know who you think you are but don't think for a second you can come in here and do whatever you want because you date someone with money! Don't you EVER put your hands on her again!" Brittany bellowed at Selena who could only listen from her position dangling from the strong hand that had her hovering a full inch off the ground.

Brittany's vibrant blue eyes could have been glowing red with all the rage that was pouring out of her and Santana could not recall a time that she had ever seen the blonde that angry. Selena seemed to realize how dangerous her position was because Santana had also never seen anyone look so afraid.

"S'ry." was the broken choked word Selena was able to cough out but the sound seemed to make Brittany angrier.

"Sorry? You try and finger my wife at my place of work and you're sorry? Fuck sorry this is past the point where you can apologize! I should break your neck for even trying to touch her! From this moment on Santana does not exist to you, you don't talk to her, you don't even _think_ about her understand?"

With every word her grip on Selena's small neck seemed to get tighter making it no surprise when there was no response. This, however, was not acceptable to the raging woman.

"I asked you a question! Do you understand?" Giving up on verbal assertions Selena nodded to the best of her ability, Brittany's eyes narrowed as she lowered her to the floor but made no move to release her, "Put those hands where they don't belong again and I will take them from you, got it?"

Another hasty nod.

Brittany threw her another hateful glare before she released her cowering victim and grabbed Santana's hand pulling them both out of the room and back towards the stage.

Mike was sitting through one of many auditions looking irritated that he was alone, when he saw them returning his face brightened but then fell when he saw the look on Brittany's face.

Santana was still a little lost, she hadn't quite processed Selena touching her, let alone the subsequent actions that had followed. It was even more confusing when, instead of returning to her seat by Mike, Brittany guided them back to Santana's usual position and yanked Santana forcefully into her lap where she observed the dancer on the stage through hard eyes.

Not knowing if she should speak yet or not Santana remained quiet, she felt nervous but slightly reassured by Brittany's actions and had almost found the courage to say something when Selena came slinking up. But unlike every time before she did not even glance at Santana as she moved to a spot closer to Mike instead of her regular position of wherever Santana sat. The once confident woman looked frightened and ruffled whereas before that moment Santana had always seen her as unflappable, terrifying and evil.

At the sight of her, Brittany's arms wound further around Santana's waist pushing her hands underneath her shirt and letting her short nails bite lightly into tanned skin. Her head burrowed into Santana's shoulder and she could feel Brittany's breathing wash over her, a sensation that only ceased when Selena chanced a glance at them and to her surprise her wife gave an almost feral low growl as her grip tightened slightly and she possessively took Santana's ear in her teeth.

The combination of being so obviously and publically claimed was more than enough to get Santana hot under the collar but in conjunction with the warm breath in her ear and the pleasant pinch of fingernails it was almost too much to bear. She was a quivering mess and she was doing her best to look dignified and unaffected but she was pretty sure she was failing.

By the time the next break finally came, Santana was a mass of hypersensitive nerves and Brittany seemed to know it. Mike stood, apparently wanting to ask what was going on but the blonde quickly ushered them away to Santana's abandoned office that was used more in that thirty minute break than it had probably ever been, though granted it wasn't used for its intended purpose.

When the break ended Brittany returned to the auditorium, still having not said a word, and went back to her original position next to Mike, her disposition reset to its previous happy setting. Santana returned to her seat as well though with far more difficulty since Brittany had made sure her legs hardly knew how to function anymore. She had been quite obviously marked by their encounter leaving no doubt to the casual observer what exactly they had been up to. Usually Santana would have worried about the professionalism of such behavior. At that moment she wore her love bites like a badges of honor to be happily displayed in Selena's direction.

For her part Selena did as she was told and kept her hands, eyes and comments to herself for the rest of the day.

When the auditions ended they left with Mike looking questioningly between the quiet newlyweds and the sulking Selena who slipped off without so much as a goodbye.

During their quiet walk through the parking lot Santana considered waiting until they got home to question her wife's silence but the moment they got in the car she knew she couldn't wait that long.

"What's going on in your head right now?" she asked not wanting to dance around the topic, she would squash any doubts Brittany had immediately and with extreme prejudice.

At the question Brittany nervously bit her nails as she peered sheepishly at Santana, "I'm sorry."

Feeling that this was a precursor to something serious she steeled herself for the worst, "About what?"

"You're mad at me aren't you?"

Santana folded her arms and gave serious thought to their conversation coming up empty for a logical reason for that question.

"Why would _I_ be mad at _you_?"

"You and Mike have worked so hard on this musical, we almost have a full cast and the sets are close to done and then I go and lose my temper on our main investor."

Santana tried to keep a smile in check but there was no way, "Britt that was the most awesome thing I have ever seen you do and you do awesome things all the time."

"But I didn't have to grab her like that." she said looking at her hand and flexing it as if she could relive the moment through the action, "I had to try really hard not to squeeze her windpipe as hard as I could. I don't think I've ever been that mad before."

"Me either, but I'm glad you jumped in." she said turning in her seat to face her, "You're my hero, I just froze up."

Brittany snorted, "So did I. I came back because I forgot to kiss you goodbye, I saw her looking like she was up to something and when she came up behind you I just stood there. I guess I didn't believe what was happening."

"I know that feeling."

"I knew she liked you, but I didn't know she was crazy like that."

"I had my suspicions." Santana said softly.

"But you aren't mad are you? Like for real? I know I could have handled that better and Mike will be pissed if she cancels the show."

"I am so totally not mad, it was seriously the hottest thing of all time and if Selena gets the show canceled so be it. I'll just save up the earnings from the new studios and fund it myself."

Brittany smiled hugging Santana tight enough to almost yank her out of her seat, "You're amazing you know that?"

When Santana settled in her seat again they were both beaming, "I just wanted to be sure you knew that her advances were completely unwanted."

"Duh, I would have known that even if I hadn't seen everything." when Santana gave a dubious look Brittany leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss, "You need to learn to trust me to trust you."

And just like that Santana fell even more in love with the person she was so sure she couldn't love one more ounce than she already did.

* * *

><p>That night Brittany continued to keep Santana close, as if Selena might be hiding in some corner of the house waiting to steal her away, which in Santana's opinion wasn't entirely impossible. However when the morning came the blonde's possessive nature was replaced by a sullen depression born of fear that she may have indeed ruined the production with her actions. Santana did everything in her power to try and cheer her up before they left but nothing lightened her mood, she even made smiley face pancakes which had <em>always<em> worked before.

She watched Brittany swirl a bite of her pancakes around in melted whipped cream and syrup sighing heavily with the most forlorn expression. Internally Santana was working out how to immediately raise the appropriate funds to keep the show going instead of having to cancel and then start all over when her phone rang. Though she didn't want to leave Brittany's side she knew there was nothing she could do or say until they were able to assess the damage that had been caused, so she reluctantly went to the counter to answer it.

Her business calls didn't start coming in until well past ten so she fully expected to hear Puck's voice, instead she was surprised to find it was Mike on the other end, "What did you two do?" he asked immediately.

Santana's eyes darted to Brittany who was still morosely playing with her food and slipped from the dining room to the living room, "I can explain Mike we had a bit of a confrontation with Selena and-"

"Well whatever you did it worked, she is finally out of my hair."

Santana frowned at the phone, "Selena?"

"Yeah she called me this morning and said she had to go back to Boston saying she saw enough to trust us to keep everything running smoothly."

"She said that?" It seemed highly unlikely to Santana that the woman would give up that easily, however she had backed off entirely when Puck had called in his muscle in Ohio. Maybe force was the only language the small woman understood.

"I mean I was ready to pull my hair out with the auditions and I think I grew a few grey ones thinking about how rehearsals would go, but she's gone."

Smiling widely, she glanced to the kitchen excited to share the news, pausing just before she moved there to address one more thing, "By the way don't think I don't know what you're up to with Britt, you can just ask me to do things directly you don't have to go through her."

"I know that." he said suddenly quiet, "And I felt bad about it which is why I made it a point to call you today."

Santana felt an eyebrow raise, "What could you possibly want now?"

"Now that Selena's gone do you think you could go back to working at home?" he asked quickly as if asking the question faster would make it less offensive.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not saying I don't want you at the theatre or anything and really I'm just talking about during the auditions because when Britt and I debate things it's a fifty-fifty fair discussion but when you're there she gets an extra free vote in her favor. Though I encourage you to come around for the rehearsals, as good as Brittany is she dances way better when she knows you're watching."

She felt torn, he had simultaneously pissed her off and stroked her ego and she wasn't sure which to respond to, it was infuriating that he had managed to continue to manipulate her without Brittany, "I have a few meetings I have been putting off in favor of playing mediator, at your request I might add, so I could make myself scarce for a bit."

"I am grateful that you did stick around and you know I think you're awesome for that, you've done an amazing job with the new studios and I couldn't have hand picked a better person to manage it all."

"Don't think I don't know sweet-talk when I hear it Chang."

He chuckled, "Is it working?"

"I can give you your precious balance of power back but don't think it's because of your attempted mind games."

"Thanks Santana."

"Welcome, now let me get in the kitchen and cheer my wife up because she is sure she has caused the collapse of your musical."

"Please don't cheer her up in a way that will make her sleepy and or late."

"I wasn't going to but now that you've said it…"

"Please." he pleaded.

"We'll see." she said before hanging up.

When she returned to the kitchen Brittany had set her fork down and was staring blankly at her plate, Santana walked over and sat in her lap knowing it was Brittany's favorite place to have her. She couldn't help a smile when even in her saddened state a strong arm wrapped around her waist holding her there.

"That was Mike wasn't it?" she said sadly.

"Yeah, and you can stop being a sad panda about yesterday because everything is fine."

Her head snapped up to look Santana in the eyes as if searching for a hint of a lie, "Really?"

"Yeah, Selena gave Mike her blessings and took off."

"You aren't making that up?" she said skeptically.

"No, we're in the clear." The sentence was barely out of her mouth before Brittany had lifted from the chair and held her in a tight hug.

"I'm so glad! I was so sure I ruined it!"

When she regained her footing Santana kissed Brittany gently gaining her full attention, "Even if she had canceled it you shouldn't feel bad about what you did."

Nodding, Brittany beamed as she gave Santana a return kiss and returned to her breakfast, almost inhaling it in her excitement as she glanced at the clock on the wall and saw how far they were behind schedule.

"Be gwotta go." she said through a mouthful of pancakes.

Santana laughed, "Chew your food properly or you'll get a stomach ache, and don't worry Mike won't start without you."

Swallowing heavily she pointed to Santana's unoccupied seat at the table, "You haven't even started eating yet."

"I'm not going. With Selena gone I can keep working from home and besides I have a lot of work to do for the upcoming press release for the show."

Brittany's face fell a little, "Oh. I really liked having you around."

"I liked being around, and when my workload dies down a little I'll come watch you guys rehearse."

The smile exploded back onto her face, "Okay!"

Santana watched her whirlwind her way through the rest of breakfast and attempted to say goodbye before she was assaulted with syrup sweet kisses. The words never left her mouth but the message got across before Brittany grabbed her coat and was out the door.

It wasn't until she was alone in the house that she realized how much she enjoyed accompanying Brittany to work, granted previously there had been the underlying stress of dealing with Selena. She managed to pull herself out of an impending funk by going into her office and getting straight to work, she hadn't been lying when she told Brittany there was a lot to do.

When she sat down to work she realized that this was her first time spending her work hours alone since she had been married, she also realized that technically made her a house wife. She paused mulling that fact over, it didn't bother her especially since she wasn't just sitting around with nothing to do but it did worry her that it was shaping up as another major difference between her world and the one in Ohio. She knew Brittany would stay home for a bit after their baby was born but she fully expected her wife to return to work after a while, meaning she would be the one to raise their child in those tender years during the work day. Again she didn't mind, yet it worried her. In Ohio their children had grown up under Brittany's loving care and Santana couldn't work out how in the world she would be able to be half as good, sure Brittany would be there but the studio was picking up business and after _Cats_ she was sure they were going to be busier than ever. It was true that she had done alright in Ohio, but their children were much older…

Her thoughts came crashing to a halt as the doorbell knifed through the impeding silence, she frowned trying to think of who it could be. She crossed through the house and to the front door expecting Puck for the second time that day. It was only after she began to pull the door open that it occurred to her that he didn't know she'd be home that day.

Which was how she opened the door to see Selena Novak standing on her porch.

Instinct kicked in and she immediately shoved the door shut but the small woman was unbelievably quick and blocked it with ease. Santana jumped back wondering if the woman had a weapon or if she should dart to the kitchen to get a knife, but when Selena made no move to enter the house she stayed put. Turning her back unnecessarily seemed unwise.

"Please don't look at me like that I'm not going to touch you, I just wanted to talk." Selena said softly.

"Are you fucking insane? Do you not remember yesterday or are you a glutton for punishment? Get out of my house!" Santana shouted noting that Selena was in no way actually inside.

"Will you talk to me on the porch?" she asked backing up.

The answer was a loud and forceful _Hell No!_ but Santana got the feeling that if she didn't let Selena talk to her the woman may take more drastic measures to make her listen. Since she seemed to not be armed and Santana had her well in sight and was on high alert, the idea seemed more appealing then telling her no and being jumped one random day on the way to her car only to wake in a _Silence of the Lambs _scenario.

"You stand on the porch, I stand by the door and if you make any funny moves I slam it in your face and call the cops, I'm not kidding."

Selena raised her hands and backed away further from the door as Santana approached it and got a firm grip on the knob. Feeling somewhat secure she raised her eyebrows for Selena to hurry and say her piece.

"You are looking lovely today." Selena said giving her a soft smile.

"You are pissing me off, what do you want? You should hurry because if Brittany catches you here she'll probably throw you back to Russia."

"Actually I am from Belarus, in any case she left twenty minutes ago so I don't think she will."

"You were stalking my house?"

"I didn't want another, erm, awkward encounter like yesterday. I just wanted to say I was sorry about how I acted before I left."

"So can I assume you called Mike told him you were leaving and planted the idea of me messing up his casting call in his head so he would ask me to not come?"

"Something like that." she said grinning slightly.

"You have a problem Selena, a serious, clinical problem and you should see a doctor."

Her smile faltered and she began to fidget slightly, "You aren't the first person to tell me that."

"I can imagine."

"I see you are still upset Santana, but can you really blame me for trying?"

"You tried to manipulate me into cheating on my wife and failing that you moved on to flat out molesting me. You are a borderline rapist and since I don't know what would have happened if Brittany hadn't showed up I can't even be sure the borderline is correct. Trying is flirting Selena, trying is putting the offer out there and seeing what comes of it, you left try in the dust after the first day at the theatre."

"Then tell me you wouldn't have done the same if it was Brittany."

"No! I wouldn't!" Santana snapped unable to contain her fury, "I would not force myself on her for any reason _especially_ if she was happily married and had genuinely asked me to back off multiple times before!"

"Even if you were sure her spouse couldn't ever make her as happy as you could?" she said looking at Santana with a vulnerable sincerity that didn't reach Santana's heart, but did make her understand that hurting Selena in this instance wouldn't make her understand any better.

Calming slightly, Santana cleared her throat, "We went to school together for a bit and while I get that you had a mad crush on me it doesn't mean you know me."

"I know more about you than you think."

"You aren't helping your I'm Not A Stalker case here." she growled and sighed reigning in her temper again, "If you know me so well then you'd know Brittany makes me the happiest I could possibly be."

"You've never given me a chance to prove I can do better."

"Are you really that delusional that you think feeling me up will make me see the light and come crawling to you? I don't know, maybe you expected Brittany to see us and hoped it would lead to a divorce but if it had you would not have been the person I went to afterwards."

"I know. I sometimes do rash things without thinking them through." she conceded looking off in the distance. "I am sorry. Honestly."

"I accept on the terms that you never try anything like that ever again."

"I promise."

They stood staring at each other for almost a minute before Santana spoke again, "I accepted but I'm not going to invite you in for breakfast or anything."

"I know." she said and looked at the ground.

Suddenly she seemed even smaller than she was and Santana could tell she was having a hard time letting go, "I mean seriously? All this because of a high school crush? I wasn't even nice to you."

She shrugged still not looking up, "I still thought you were the prettiest girl I ever saw and yes you were a bully but I wanted to be like you, I wanted to be someone you would notice. Though I may have overshot my goal a bit." she laughed and even Santana snorted at that, "I meant what I said, I didn't follow you after high school, even after I saw you at the party I didn't, though I really wanted to. I actually berated myself for that but in the end I thought it was for the best because after all that time I was still invisible to you. So I moved to Boston and fraternized with my father's wealthier friends in the hopes of running into you again. I wasn't _looking_ for you but I was looking out and when your name came up I thought it must be fate."

Another silence fell as Santana tried to think of something to say that was kind but not encouraging to her fanatic tendencies.

"I don't know what to say to that." she admitted.

Selena shrugged again and finally looked at her with sad eyes, "I am aware I didn't do the right thing, but I promise you I would have made you so happy."

"Look I-"

She held up a hand and took a step forward making Santana tighten her previously slackened grip on the door knob.

"I don't need you to let me down I get it. The answer is and always will be no. I just want to tell you the one thing I've been trying to tell you since I attempted to give you that card." Santana watched her carefully waiting to hear this long held knowledge, "I love you."

With that she turned and trotted easily down the stairs to her car and drove off down the long driveway. Once she was out of sight, Santana slipped back inside feeling almost lightheaded from the tension in her shoulders and back from constantly being ready to slam the door with all her might. She wasn't sorry about how she handled Selena and she didn't care how the woman felt about her but she did feel sorry _for_ her. Selena was attractive and underneath her blanket of crazy was a razor sharp mind that could get her so much farther in life than being Miles Rowan's arm candy. Her ex seemed like a mandatory stop for any woman who was lost in life and needed direction, though that was sort of what you had to be put up with him.

She had always assumed she knew the circumstances behind the affair in Ohio but now she felt like she truly understood for the first time. It didn't excuse anything but it certainly helped her understand how it could have happened at all. Before that moment she thought the affair was the result of some sort of callousness towards Brittany, or some selfish need to feel more wanted or loved. It led her to think that she was going to have to work hard to save Brittany from her ingrained cheating nature, but now she knew that in Ohio she had been up against a master manipulator without a lick of understanding on how to handle it or what kind of damage giving in would cause.

As she walked back to her office there was a lightness in her step and she felt she could finally close that chapter from both her lives forever.

* * *

><p>AN:Thanks again to Jellysnack for her advice on the workings of theatre.

So I know I wigged you all out but it was never at any point my intention to repeat the Ohio disaster in Miami. Ever. You can relax now Selena's gone forever... or is she?

No really she's gone, it did make me chuckle how she gave most of you little baby heart attacks. But thanks to turnaround time on the beta process I was able to have mercy and release this part ASAP.

One reviewer felt Santana's flustered nature around Selena was character regression, I guess I see how it can be perceived that way but I dunno I figure she would have been kind of stupid not to be on guard knowing the woman was crazy. Santana wasn't worried she may slip up she was worried Selena might jump her (and she was right).

The point of this arc were to get Santana to trust Brittany's resolve and know that fate wasn't against her. After the wedding she felt everything had been squared and she knew she would do anything to keep from hurting Brittany. However that was her feeling like she was fighting her natural proclivity to fuck up rather than not fucking up. Translation: She felt she was having to fight a seeming inevitable fate and though she was sure she wasn't going to fail it still bothered her that she had it in her to do that. Santana needed to learn that she wasn't hardwired cheat or cause pain, circumstances just fell that way.

Some of you liked the building tension and others hated it, I know you can't please all the people all the time but I like to try so sorry to all of you who were really upset about it. Yes this is under romance humor but romance is all about drama without the drama it's just fluff and I can't do that for too long I get bored and have to mix it up. I think I did pretty good job keeping things romantic (and out of the hardcore drama/angst category) and I think the humor in these chapters was lost to the worries that I was going to make Santana give in to Selena XD. There will still be some serious moments but nothing as dramatic as this so you can take a breath, you made it through! *fireworks explode in the sky*

Reviews are loved.


	18. Keep it Simple

**Keep it Simple or Risk Complications**

* * *

><p>Santana flipped through one of a million papers showing the reviews for <em>Cats<em>. She had been collecting them since opening night and, on the eve of the last performance, had cut out all the pictures of Brittany and made a collage that she had presented to her wife. That, about a hundred white roses and the biggest stuffed cat anyone in the cast had ever seen.

The response to the musical had been overwhelmingly positive and even the sparse few negative reviews had to concede that the dancing was spectacular. Of course Pop n' Lock had gained a significant amount of business, as had the chain as a whole. Brittany was the most demanded teacher at the studio and her students loved her, which made it quite difficult for her to walk away from it in the interest of having a baby. A baby she still hadn't been able to conceive. Until now. At least that was the hope.

Brittany was currently upstairs in their bathroom waiting for a small plastic contraption to tell them if they could start celebrating the upcoming birth of their first child or have several more weeks of silent disappointment. It was like a twisted version of Groundhog Day. Santana had decided to wait out the incredibly long minutes in the living room looking over their past success and trying to stay positive that today would hold another.

She sat on the edge of the couch her leg twitching nervously wishing she was brave enough to wait in the bathroom with Brittany, but her nerves couldn't handle being that close to the action. Her hands fiddled with her bracelet while she wished uselessly that she knew how many times their alternate selves had to try to get pregnant. This was the third attempt and with every failure Santana took it as a personal blow, like she waited too long to find Brittany and the punishment was infertility. It was a wild theory but one that made perfect sense when she was worrying like she was.

She was pretty sure Brittany was pregnant this time, there had been quite a bit of nausea though admittedly no actual vomiting, and Santana felt that either bode well for a baby or poorly for Brittany's overall health. Her leg shook even harder at that, if Brittany was sick on top of everything else she was going to start losing hair from the stress.

Though her wife had promised to call her when the test was done she was pretty sure it was time to return upstairs. They were supposed to wait two minutes and she knew she had wasted at least five. As a matter of fact Santana was rather surprised the seasons hadn't already changed. Curious, she returned upstairs to sit on the bed only to find Brittany already there.

Thinking the test was finished she shot the blonde a questioning look but Brittany gave back a shy half smile, "I'm kind of scared to go in there." she said and Santana could tell she felt foolish for admitting it.

Sitting next to her, Santana pushed her hair aside to look into the worried eyes that wouldn't meet hers, "Hey we'll be fine regardless of the result. The doctor said this may take a few tries so don't lose hope if it doesn't happen for us this time."

Brittany nodded and stood, entering the bathroom with a determination Santana was still unable to find, all that pep talking and she was the main one afraid to go in.

When only a long heavy silence met her ears Santana became worried, "Is it done?"

There was a slight shuffling and the sound of Brittany unlocking her phone, "Yeah, about seven minutes ago."

Leaping up nervously she edged towards the bathroom, "Then what is the result?"

"I don't want to look." She mumbled.

Santana would have run in and flipped the damn stick over herself if it didn't scare her just as much, "Britt just glance and tell me if it's a plus please because the suspense is literally killing me."

There was more shuffling and another long silence followed that had Santana biting her nails, eventually Brittany showed up in the doorway without anything in her hands, "Not this time." She sighed.

Santana walked the short distance between them and pulled Brittany into a binding hug, "It's okay, we can try again."

"I'm sorry." She mumbled against Santana's shoulder.

"No apologizing. It isn't your fault and you know it."

"It's just I know how badly you want a baby."

"And I know how badly you want one too, so no blame alright?" When Brittany didn't answer Santana forced her wife to look her in the eyes, "Alright?"

"Yeah."

"That's my girl." She said smiling to lift Brittany's spirits even though her own were in the mud, "Come on lets go out somewhere."

Brittany shook her head slowly and held her stomach, "I still don't feel good and even if my stomach didn't feel bad I don't want to go out. It always feels like everybody knows I failed."

"Britt you didn't fail." Santana said sternly.

"Well I didn't succeed."

"We're going to have a baby and it may take some time, but it'll happen. Cheer up, we are still in the early stages here."

The blonde nodded again and began a slow trek downstairs that showed that even though she agreed, it was still causing her distress. Santana followed knowing there was nothing she could do but be supportive even though she was secretly blaming every negative test on herself. In Ohio their third child had been conceived on the first try and though she had no idea about Violet and Ella she was pretty sure it didn't take long, meaning that this was them off track again.

It also occurred to her that here in Florida it was highly unlikely that she would end up with the same children created roughly ten years prior from a sperm bank in Ohio but she decided that it would all work out because she still had her bracelet for a reason. Though she wished more than anything to be able to raise Violet and Ella in her own world she would love any child Brittany gave her. She had decided on her wedding day that nothing was going to stand in the way of her happiness with her wife, she meant it then and had no intention of backing down now.

Descending the stairs as well, Santana opted to use distraction to keep either of them from getting even more down than they already were, "Hey, how about I heat you up some soup and we can cuddle on the couch and watch the Kardashian's be skanks?"

Brittany gave a small nod from the couch where she was seated hugging her knees, Santana proceeded to fix the proposed meal. She brought it over and turned on the television, turning her face to it but watching Brittany out of her peripheral. The blonde hardly touched her food and when she did it seemed like it was an unpleasant task. Fifteen minutes later the bowl sat practically untouched on the end table as Brittany lay silently opposite Santana who was still watching her diligently.

"Did you not like it?" Santana asked carefully.

"I don't feel well, my stomach feels like it's revolting."

Crawling to occupy the small space between Brittany and the back of the couch Santana lay next to her, "Tomorrow I'll take you to the doctor's office so we can get your upset stomach figured out and after we can just pack up and go on vacation. These last few months have been kind of stressful and it may be what's making you sick now. It can just be me and you and nothing else."

"I guess, but can we skip the doctor? I don't want to see another one right now." She said softly.

Given the number of visits they had been making recently Santana could completely understand that, "I think we should, at least one more time, I won't be able to sleep well until I know what's making you nauseous plus there is a chance the test was wrong. Sometimes they give false negatives."

Brittany shrugged, "I took all of the tests in both the boxes you gave me and every one was super negative."

_That would explain why it took so long_, "Will you go at least to see about your stomach? Please, for me?" she asked turning on her most pleading pout knowing that this was the one tactic she could use to get her way.

Brittany gave a heaving sigh, "If I still feel bad in the morning I promise I'll go."

"Perfect."

Santana settled into her side and nuzzled her head under Brittany's chin trying not to think of all the things that could be wrong and what she would do if her wife was actually unable to conceive.

The next morning Santana woke fully expecting to find Brittany in the bathroom pretending not to feel ill followed by a long bout of pouting to convince her to keep her promise. To her surprise the blonde was up before her and, when she went in search of her, found the other woman in the kitchen swaying slightly to the music pumping through her headphones while happily eating waffles. Stunned for more than one reason, Santana walked up behind her leading to Brittany being startled when she did a little spin making her nearly drop her food.

Gracefully she re-balanced the plate and set it down on the counter before pulling her headphones off, "Morning I was about to come and get you." She said giving Santana a greeting kiss.

"Morning, did you make those?" she asked referring to the waffles that were present despite the fact that the kitchen didn't look like it had been disturbed since she had last been in it.

"Yes, I made extra if you want some." She said pointing to the dining room where Santana could see a stack sitting on the table, "I was about to get some orange juice to go with it."

Frowning slightly Santana cocked her head to the side, "Britt I didn't know you could cook."

Brittany grinned, "Well you seemed so determined to not to let me anywhere near a kitchen when we started dating and your food is really good so why would I argue?"

Thinking back Santana recalled Ohio Puck telling her that Brittany had failed miserably at the most menial cooking task. She had always thought her wife was the sort to burn cereal.

"I guess I see your point, I just remember you didn't do so well in home ec."

She laughed, "Yeah I had some serious screw ups at first but I learned to take care of myself." Brittany said moving back to the table.

Still taken aback, Santana followed and eyed the waffles in question, they were golden brown and delicious looking and the kitchen was in better than excellent shape. Part of her was a little irked that somewhere in the universe her other self was still under the impression that her wife was incapable of handling this task. However when she really considered it she decided that cooking for her family daily was the least that woman could do after what she had done.

"What made you decided to not wait for my culinary skills this morning?"

"I was really hungry and you looked so peaceful so I decided to make something myself."

"So you're feeling better?"

"Lots!" she exclaimed and Santana could see how true that was, "I was just going to go to the studio and help Mike and Jamie out. I'm feeling a lot better now and I want to just move ya know?"

"If you start feeling sick again do you swear you will go straight to the doctor's office? No detours?"

"I will, but I honestly feel fine, must have been something I ate."

Santana watched her with a level gaze, "Hmm, I suppose you can leave with my blessings."

With a playful eye roll Brittany took a bite of her waffles, "Thanks warden." She said through the mouthful of food.

"And no talking with your mouth full." Santana replied in a light tone.

"Look at you gearing up for motherhood." Brittany laughed.

* * *

><p>While Brittany was away Santana did her best to forget her disappointment and as usual when trying to forget she threw herself into her work for the rest of the day. She made calls and went to several meetings that were full of legal backtalk from old men who for some reason thought they had a chance in hell of getting into her bed. She signed and sent off countless forms and made phone calls around the world strengthening ties in the business world and cutting a few deals on various supplies.<p>

It was one of her most productive days, but nothing she did distracted her from the fact that Brittany still wasn't pregnant. She assumed the bracelet sitting obviously on her wrist was what was keeping her from clearing her head, but she refused to take it off. It may have been a reminder but at the same time it was her only comfort. Brittany thankfully seemed to be out of her funk and ready to try again but Santana was becoming more and more frightened of failure. The what if's of changing everything so much unnerved her, she didn't want to veer any further off course from her Ohio life since she had only recently gotten back on track.

When she finally got home it was almost five, far too early to go to bed even though all she wanted to do was shut the world out until it was time to take another pregnancy test. That thought made her heart ache as the word _negative_ danced behind her eyes. Sighing, she went up to their bedroom and decided at the least she would rest until Brittany returned. Changing into her comfy clothes she brushed her hair while padding into the bathroom to remove her makeup when for the second time her chest seized up on her at the sight of the pregnancy test boxes that lay empty on the counter.

Her face fell and she brushed the brightly colored pink boxes into the trash can to join their discarded contents. Sadly she turned back to the mirror and grabbed her makeup bag, her eyes were helplessly drawn to her bracelet as it slid down her arm and settled on her wrist. She followed the slow movement feeling worse by the second and then she paused.

Her bracelet was blue…

She had gone to the pharmacy and, not knowing which pregnancy test to buy, she had just dumped a bunch of blue colored boxes in the cart under the simple thought that the bracelet was blue so the boxes should be too.

The ones she had just thrown away were pink…

Frowning heavily she knelt by the trash can and pulled one of them out. It was a different version of the ones they had been using and must have somehow just gotten mixed in. Her breathing stopped as she flipped the box over and saw that this test used a single line to indicate negative and two for positive. Her mouth falling open Santana dropped to the floor and pulled the other box out to reveal a pile of test sticks all showing two lines.

Brittany was pregnant.

For a moment she just sat there on her knees looking stupidly into her bathroom trashcan gaping. As always her brain had to calm down before she could think because all the information was crashing to her at once.

Finally after a solid sixty seconds she began to understand that her wife was pregnant, meaning they were going to be parents in a few months meaning… meaning what? She couldn't think that far.

Then finally everything kicked in, "I have to tell Brittany!" she screamed at herself.

Scrambling off the floor and practically leaping down all the stairs she barely remembered keys and sneakers before she was in her car peeling out of the driveway and racing to the Pop n' Lock studio.

* * *

><p>Brittany was walking casually back to the open room she had been using to dance in, she hoped to get in a few more minutes before Mike and Jamie returned to start their afternoon classes. There were other rooms but the one she was in currently was where she had first laid eyes on Santana after so many years apart and she preferred it to any other room in the building. As she approached her favored location her motion halted as the door to the studio burst open.<p>

She had seen a lot of strange things in her life.

When she was little there had been the purple leopard that liked to hide under her bed and steal socks, she had seen a rainbow-eating airplane and she was pretty sure at some point she saw her dad kissing Santa Claus. None of that really seemed so strange in light of Santana suddenly standing at the door in her lazy clothes with her hair half combed, eyes wild with excitement.

Standing to greet her she was about to ask what was going on but in a flash Santana was in her arms.

"Britt you're pregnant!" she almost squealed hugging her tighter.

Frowning, the blonde backed up, a difficult task given how tightly Santana was holding her, "No I'm not the test wasn't positive." She said trying to calm the smaller woman.

Shaking her head frantically Santana tried to explain, "You are! I told you to keep looking for a plus because that's how the other one's we used worked but these show lines not plusses! Two lines are for positive and all of yours have it!"

Brittany looked shocked, "I thought it was just saying no twice."

"It's a yes! We're having a baby!"

Santana had been truly overjoyed at the news, but at that moment looking at the way Brittany's face lit up she realized she hadn't even known what happy was. The next thing she knew she was back in long strong arms that were pulling her close and she fell into the embrace planting kisses on every part of Brittany's face she could reach. When their lips inevitably met the kiss was full of feelings of relief and love, there was so much to be expressed from that one action that Santana was a little irritated when a voice broke them up.

"Whoa don't you have a house for that?" Mike asked as he returned followed shortly by Jamie.

Santana might have said something snide there but Brittany was the first to speak, "Mike I'm pregnant!"

He smiled widely at her, "Congratulations!"

Jamie nodded in agreement, "That's awesome. Guess I'll be standing in sooner than I thought."

"I'm gonna take my baby mama home now if you don't mind. Actually I'm going to even if you do." Santana said already pulling Brittany towards the door.

"Wait San all my stuff is still here." she laughed.

"It'll still be here later, you are getting a celebration dinner and an immediate appointment with your doctor." Santana said the last part throwing her a stern look that told her wife there was no arguing that point.

"Guess I'm leaving now." Brittany giggled as Santana continued to guide her out the door.

"She's still good to dance for a while you know." Mike said still grinning as the couple left.

Before she pulled them both out the door Santana turned to him, "Maybe so, but today she's all mine."

* * *

><p>Santana did exactly as she said she would, by the time they returned home Brittany had an appointment for a follow-up exam and she made the best oatmeal that she ever had. The diner was previously salmon croquettes, but the smell of the grease had made Brittany's stomach churn. They ate together and decided where they would put the nursery, all while grinning uncontrollably at each other, a stark contrast of their earlier dispositions.<p>

She ushered them to bed at an early hour as if sleeping sooner would make the morning come more quickly, and though she had been the one to suggest sleep she found she was far too excited to actually do it. Other than Mike and Jamie they agreed that no one else would be told until they had been back to the doctor's office and got a final definite test done. It was a bit unnerving since, to Santana, it still felt like an elaborate dream until they told their families, especially since none of their relations even knew they were trying for a baby, Carla was the only one who knew the idea was even on the table.

It had been Santana's idea not to tell anyone but Mike and Jamie about their pregnancy plans since it would directly effect the studio. She had said it under the guise of wanting it to be a surprise but realistically she dreaded the constant calls and questions that would rub every unsuccessful attempt in their faces. When she had gotten Brittany to agree it had merely been a precaution, but now having been through what they had it was one she was glad they had taken. More than that it was a definite plus to be able to surprise her mother with the news.

The next morning they wasted no time in getting Brittany to her appointment, a move that had them home by noon with the knowledge that they were indeed going to be parents. Santana drove the whole way home in a daze even though she had known the night before but the confirmation changed everything. It changed breakfast because she hadn't eaten Cream of Wheat with Brittany, she had eaten it with her wife and her baby and that made it something different in her mind. Something totally new even having been though a similar situation in Ohio, she had struggled to get to where she was with Brittany both of them learning as they went. This wasn't her standing in for someone else, this was her life, her family. A family that was about to get a little larger.

They had spent every moment at each other's side and once they returned home they only separated to make their separate obligatory phone calls, Brittany calling her parents while Santana called Carla.

As Santana expected there had been excited shouting on the other line followed by infinite questions that Santana was given no time to answer. The call went on for almost an hour before she demanded to speak to Brittany who in her fluster over her own parent's excitement handed Santana her phone in reciprocation.

Holding it gingerly Santana placed it to her ear with a tentative, "Hello?"

She wasn't sure whether it was Richard or Faith on the other end but she knew that she had surprised whoever it was by getting on the line.

"Hello Santana." It was Faith, her voice betrayed nothing of how she was feeling about her daughter-in-law at the moment.

"Um, surprise." she said knowing how stupid she sounded as she said it.

"I… I didn't think you two would be having children."

Deciding not to offer one of the many reasons she could think of for that she asked, "Why is that?"

"Brittany made it quite clear with Teddy that she didn't want to have any."

Santana felt Faith's tone was shifting but she didn't know to what, "You… you are okay with this right?"

"It isn't really for me to be okay with or not but yes I am quite pleased actually." she said and for the first time Faith let an emotion float to her voice and it sounded very much like joy.

"I'm happy to hear that." she replied sincerely.

"I had sort of given up hope of getting grandchildren from her and I am... I'm pleased you got her to change her mind."

"I'll take good care of both of them." Santana assured a smile growing over her face at the warmth in Faith's voice.

"I know you will…" she trailed off and Santana held her breath because she knew there was more coming and she really, really hoped it wouldn't hurt her feelings, the day had been going so well after all, "I'm glad you came back to her. She was a little lost without you."

At the words Santana felt her heart leap and almost float from her chest, "Uh," she said intelligently as she tried to find the right words, "Thank you, but in all honesty I was more lost without her."

"Raising a child is hard work. They won't always go the way you want them to and watching them struggle through the major milestones of life can be really hard. Sometimes you take their pain to heart because they are your everything and that can lead to you ignoring what's best for them in favor of what you want for them."

Santana nodded with a smile wiping a tear from her cheek as she began to understand what was being said to her, "Yeah I can easily see how that would be the case."

"I hope you don't think too poorly of me."

"I never did. I don't think I would have handled the situation as well as you did if the roles were reversed."

Faith hummed in agreement, "I want you to know that I want to be a part of my grandchild's life and everything else is in the past."

"Does Richard feel the same?" she asked, her brow creasing as she tried to imagine the man's response to the news.

A light sigh came through the phone, "No. Unfortunately he is a bit more bull headed."

"That's fine, he'll come around." she said because she hadn't forgotten her vow to make the man love her, and the fact that Faith was willing to let bygones be bygones made her feel well ahead of schedule for wooing her in-laws.

"You're going to need that assertiveness to get through to him." she said a little sadly.

"And I will, all while showing you that your trust in me hasn't been misplaced."

Santana was pretty sure Faith said something back to that but the phone was snatched from her and Brittany spoke quickly into the receiver, "Mom talk to you later… Yeah, thanks. Got to go bye." Hanging up abruptly she looked worriedly to Santana, "I wasn't thinking, they didn't say anything terrible did they?"

"I just talked to your mom. I think she finally forgave me actually." Santana said smiling widely.

Brittany frowned, "Really?" she said giving her phone a disbelieving look, "They were both really happy to hear about the baby, but I could tell dad was being grouchy."

"Well he wasn't who I spoke to." she said with a shrug.

"Yes you did, they had me on speaker phone when I passed it to you."

Santana blanched a little, Richard had been silently fuming in the background as she pronounced her determination to gain his affections. She wasn't upset he knew her resolve but she wished she hadn't been so damn cocky about it in his hearing.

"Uh-huh. So, um, what did my mom say?" she asked needing the subject to change.

"Everything there was to say I think." Brittany laughed and Santana understood completely, in her time on the phone with her the woman had rattled off everything from possible baby names to the locations of the best pediatricians in the country. "I'm going to call Hailey next!" she exclaimed excitedly.

Santana watched her dance away and retrieved her own phone off the counter, there were other people that she could call to tell in her immediate family but oddly enough none of them mattered as much as Puck and Quinn. Smiling in anticipation of all the goofy shit he would have to say in response Santana walked casually into the living room while clicking the speed dial number for Puck.

She had just collapsed into the loveseat when she heard him answer, however instead of the trademark, 'You got Puck.' she head a gruff, "Yeah."

"Hey." she said a little startled by the irritation that was clearly in his voice, "It's me, I just wanted to talk about some baby related news." it was an attempt to add some lighthearted humor and mystery to this already dour conversation, but she could almost hear him bristling.

"I don't even want to hear it Santana. I don't care who told you what, I used protection."

She paused and glared at the phone as that phrase and all its possible meanings sank in, "Noah do not tell me you got some random skank pregnant." she said fear twisting her insides.

"No I… wait you didn't hear?"

"Hear what?"

He sighed heavily, "Quinn's pregnant."

At that relief and a rippling feeling of joy spread through her, "That's great!" she exclaimed only realizing after she said it all the ways it wasn't.

"Oh? Glad you think so cause Quinn's pretty fucking pissed. It wouldn't even be so bad if the press hadn't gotten wind of it and now it's like before but on a nationwide scale."

Santana felt worry replace the happiness she had just been feeling, "What are you guys going to do?"

It was not encouraging to hear the despondent silence that followed, "I don't know. I want to keep it obviously but she… I don't think she will this time and she isn't exactly taking my calls."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this before now?"

"I only found out about the baby four days ago and the tabloids hit the stands with it the day after, there really hasn't been enough time to really grasp the situation." Santana was trying to come up with some way to fix everything when Puck spoke again, "So why did you call me if you didn't know about Quinn?" he asked clearly trying to lighten the mood.

"Brittany's pregnant." she said almost faintly.

"Are you kidding me right now?"

"No."

"That's freaky timing on your part but I'm happy for you. I know how bad you wanted one."

She nodded distractedly into the phone, "Thanks. Um, Puck I have to go." she said quickly. He grunted in acknowledgement and she hung up immediately dialing Quinn.

Santana didn't know what in the world she could accomplish by calling the other woman but she did know that if Quinn aborted or gave up this baby there would be no way for her and Puck to recover. Plus she remembered the boy Joseph, he had been their oldest son in Ohio and though like her and Brittany their children may be different she couldn't help but picture him. He'd been the ultimate mix of his parents with Puck's natural handsomeness and kind heart while also adopting his mother's sharp mind and seemingly aloof nature. Puck and Quinn had extreme love and pride for all their children and their kids returned the sentiment readily. Kids that would never be in any form if Quinn were to end their futures now.

The phone rang for so long Santana feared it might go to voicemail, but right before that could happen there was the telltale of someone picking up and Quinn's voice reached her.

"Hello Santana." she said in a tone that suggested she knew the point of the call.

"How are you doing?"

"Trying to recover from being thrown back into my less favorable high school days."

"I know how that can be." she half joked.

"Did Puck ask you to call?"

"No. I talked to him but he's still sort of reeling from the news. To be honest I am too, I mean less about the pregnancy and more about how… about you not wanting to keep the baby."

"That would be an accurate report. Unlike all the ones I've been reading all day." She sounded as if she were looking at those reports at the moment.

"Quinn…" she stopped because she realized she had no right to manipulate this situation.

Maybe in Ohio Quinn and Puck were destined, maybe there they could have a happy life complete with marriage and kids but this was different. She had been hurled through space and time to find her soul mate, they had just been shoved together by a Latina on a mission. It was possible that the future she was trying to achieve would have children but not Violet and Ella and it would contain Puck and Quinn but not together. This Quinn was a working woman with a career and a life she had worked hard to obtain, a baby could be the worst thing for her right now. Or the best. Santana had no idea and she was scared to make a move.

Her bracelet suddenly felt very heavy, "I can't tell you what's best for you but for what it's worth I think you may be pleasantly surprised by how much you'll love him, er, or her."

"I don't think I'd be surprised. I loved Beth before I ever saw her." She said and the sadness in her voice was quite evident. "It's not even about that. I couldn't carry another child for nine months and give it away again, I'm struggling trying to figure out if I want to go through the same shit again with the looks and the gossip. To top it all off I don't even know if I want to tie myself to Noah like that."

"I think Puck will do right by you. He's worked really hard for your trust and your love so if he's earned even a little of it I think you should call him and talk this through. As for the gossip, just ignore it. I can only imagine how much it sucks to have your private life opened up like that especially knowing what a guarded person you are, but it'll blow over. Charlie Sheen will snort a barrel of cocaine laced with tiger blood and _poof_ no one will care about the baby drama anymore."

Quinn snorted, "It's not the people I've never met I'm worried about, I work at a law firm as the only female lawyer who is now knocked up by a notorious playboy movie star. That makes me a laughing stock at a place I had to bust my ass to get even the smallest molecule of respect. And it isn't just my coworkers, my clients come in with bogus issues just to pry into what they read in the papers. I can just see the disrespect and judgment written all over their faces and it's driving me insane."

Santana took a deep breath, "What if you got away? You could come to Florida, I know Puck was getting a place down here. You wouldn't have to move in with him or anything, but it's an option. You could be close to people who love you and understand." Quinn was silent and she thought she may be actually persuading her, "And Brittany's pregnant." She added smiling widely as she remembered her good news, "You wouldn't be alone with the whole pregnancy thing and I know Britt would love to have someone around who she trusted that had been through this before."

Ponderous silence was all that came back over the line for a while, "I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I need to think."

"I understand, just remember that you aren't alone Quinn."

Santana could almost hear her smile, "Thanks, I really did need to hear that. And congratulations to you and Brittany on the baby."

"To you too, this pregnancy can be a good thing if you let it."

"Yeah." She sighed, "Bye, Santana."

"Bye."

Santana hung up and stared at the phone, she wished she could just know how everything turned out so her stomach would stop wriggling with worry. Luckily the only other possible cure for her feelings bounced onto the couch next to her.

"You told Puck?" Brittany asked happily.

Making sure her face expressed none of the concern she felt for their friends she turned to Brittany with a wide smile, "Yes, and they both send their love."

Her face brightened at that and Santana's followed suit reflexively, "I know it's early, but can we go to some stores that have baby stuff? Just to look?" Brittany asked.

She knew full well looking would turn to buying, but she didn't care. Smiling, Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist letting her hands rest on her abdomen, "Whatever you want." She said before kissing her softly.

"What do you think San, a boy or a girl?" Brittany asked as she watched tanned hands run gently across her stomach.

"We can just wait a few weeks and find out."

"No." she said immediately, "That's cheating, we can't know until it's born."

Santana giggled, "Whatever you want." She repeated kissing her again, "By the way Quinn's pregnant too."

Brittany gasped at that, "Really?" she exclaimed then her face fell a little, "It is Puck's right?"

"Yeah. She isn't sure if she'll keep it though." She said not wanting to bring Brittany down, but also not wanting to get her hopes too high that they would be maternity buddies or something of the sort.

"She has too! She wanted to keep Beth so badly I know she wants this one and Puck would want it too!"

"But we need to let them work it out okay?"

"Alright… but I do want to call her and mention how I feel just a little tiny bit, that wouldn't be interfering would it?"

Santana laughed, "That's textbook interference, but I gave Quinn my opinion so it's only fair you give yours. Just don't push her or anything because that's crossing the line."

"I know that." She huffed.

Wanting the brilliant smile to return Santana leaned in and planted light kisses on her neck and jaw until it did, "I know you know, I just wanted us on the same page. Now let's go look at some cribs."

The roundabout mention of their upcoming addition made Brittany beam as she leapt up off the couch and moved swiftly to the door where she waited for Santana to collect her purse and shoes.

Leaving her house with Brittany listing some of the baby stores Carla had mentioned lulled Santana into a sense of peace. Things were progressing in a good way, her life was at an all time high and she wasn't going to let worry cloud over her happiest day since the wedding. Besides, somehow, she knew everything would work out with Puck and Quinn, Brittany's smile and the bracelet hanging lightly from her wrist told her so.

* * *

><p>AN: *sigh* Mass Effect 3 came out and I got it at the midnight release, between that, the Vita and my general proclivity for PC gaming I am going to have time manage like a boss. Please forgive me should I fail XP

If the wait becomes too much you can visit my tumblr and vote on the two fic previews that are posted there to decide which one I feed to you while I work on my next long story (both of these would hopefully be relatively short) tumblr info is in my profile.

From here on out we will start to visit the random portion of the fic meaning we will time hop more but don't worry I won't go too far :)

Review!


	19. Uncharted Waters on Treacherous Seas

**Uncharted Waters on Treacherous Seas**

* * *

><p>Quinn decided to keep the baby. A decision that totally pleased Santana since it had honestly been of her own volition as had her decision to move to Florida with Puck. It was in a series of events that she was tempted to call coincidental except as of late she had stopped believing anything really could be. She had known Puck wanted to be closer or at least have a Florida residence for when he visited and he got just that, at about the same time he got the lead role in an upcoming major network sci-fi show. Santana had been ecstatic since it meant he would be spending the majority of his time in Florida for as long as the show aired.<p>

However things in New York had only gone from bad to worse for Quinn when it was eventually discovered that this wasn't her first unplanned pregnancy. The press almost wet itself over the scandal of it all and once they got a taste for blood they really started to dig in. Not only was the blonde hounded every moment of every day by the media who laid in wait by her job and home, some of Puck's crazier fans either detested her enough to send hate mail or 'loved' her enough to send weird gifts. To her credit Quinn handled it all pretty well until one particularly zealous reporter broke into her house to find out more about her past, she had found the man hunched over a box of old photos of her and Beth like it was a pot of gold.

The cops were called, the man was fired and there was still a lawsuit pending against him but the experience left Quinn shaken and quite unwilling to continue to live alone. The request to move in caused Puck to go a little crazy and immediately sell the quaint home he had previously purchased and replace it with a gaudy mansion with way too many stairs. Stairs Santana was glaring at hatefully as she placed a heavy box at their peak, sweat was threatening to make trails down her face forcing her wipe her brow.

Even in shorts, a tank top and with the cool air-conditioning filtering in she was starting to broil which made her even more sour. Soon Puck came into view carrying two boxes that looked even heavier and her anger at the stairs transferred to him.

"Tell me why I'm doing this again. You have a whole company of movers here." She asked when he finally made it to the top with her and stopped to rest.

Setting his burden down he leaned heavily on the railing and stretched his back, "Quinn doesn't want her personal stuff handled by the movers, she's still a little paranoid about people trying to be in her business. I'm counting my blessings on this one since she was really close to making me drive the truck here personally from New York."

"No, no. I mean why am _I_ doing this?"

"Because you're the only other person I know who Quinn would let handle her stuff besides Britt."

In light of that compliment Santana couldn't find it in her to complain anymore, "Yeah, fine." She grumbled as she hauled the box up onto her shoulders and continued towards the enormous master bedroom. Setting the box down amongst the twenty or so that were already there and thinking on the seemingly endless supply that were still in the truck, she had to wonder how the hell Quinn had fit it all in her apartment.

Heading back down the stairs she felt her legs begin to ache at the thought of making the trip back up with another box full of what felt like bricks, but she supposed she understood the paranoia and therefore the need for her to help. Preparing herself for the wave of heat that would be waiting for her outside, Santana opened the front door and walked up to the large U-Haul in the driveway for the millionth time.

A walk that turned into a full on run at the sight of Brittany at the back of the truck trying to pull a box down into her arms.

Santana practically vaulted up into the back pulling the box out of her hands, and out of reach, in one fluid motion.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked coolly.

"I was trying to help. That one is really light, I can bring it up." Brittany huffed.

She gave the box a side glance as she noted that it was indeed rather light, but Brittany was three months pregnant and showing it, making Santana unwilling to let her do anything even remotely strenuous, "It is but there are a ton stairs in there."

Brittany frowned a little indignantly, "Quinn's four months pregnant and her and Puck's room is upstairs, plus I can walk up the ones at home just fine."

"The stairs are why Quinn and Puck are staying in the guest room on the first floor, because they are hard for her to get up. We are just setting up their room for when she can handle them again, second of all there are twelve steps at our house this place has twenty-five, I counted."

"Then I'll put it at the foot of the steps so you don't have to come all the way out here." She said pouting slightly and Santana had to fight not to cave.

"Babe, I get it, you're bored, but we'll be done here soon enough and we can go home or out to dinner or whatever you want. Just please relax and let us unload everything?"

"I'm not an invalid." She grumbled and the sound of it made Santana drop to her knees to be at eye level with Brittany who was still standing on the driveway.

"I know, you exercise daily and like you said you can take the stairs at home easy, but moving is different. It's crazy hot out here and there are accidents that can happen even getting in and out of the truck. If you start moving things I'm just going to start wigging out thinking about all those things and have a panic attack then we will have to spend the rest of the day in the hospital." Santana explained calmly kissing Brittany softly on the cheek.

Brittany's expression slipped into a partial grin, "You're being more dramatic than Rachel right now."

Rolling her eyes she kissed her wife again before replying, "I'll let that go 'cause you're cute, but please find something else to do? A movie maybe? I know Puck has the tv set up in the living room and the movers are around the back so I can get them to put a couch down for you."

"Nah, I don't want to watch anything right now." She sighed.

"But you'll find something right? Because seriously I'm not a strong enough person to watch you doing manual labor with our little one." Santana said, her hand falling naturally to the rounded belly of the blonde before her, the feeling of which never failed to make her heart flutter.

"Okay." She conceded heavily.

Smiling, Santana kissed her again, only more instantly this time. She wasn't sure if it was her elation over the baby or the natural maternal glow pregnant women were supposed to get but she couldn't keep her hands off of Brittany lately. For her part Brittany did nothing to discourage her leading to Santana having a hot and heavy make-out session hanging off the back of a truck. It of course was Brittany who finally broke the kiss for air, Santana preferring to just chance herself passing out from lack of oxygen rather than breaking contact.

"I get it. I'll go talk to Quinn I guess."

The last time Santana had seen Quinn she had been out back sitting under the awning staring blankly out into space even though there were a stack of magazines and an iPad on the table in front of her. She knew the other woman was looking at nothing because the mansion was located in an even more remote location than her and Brittany's place, unless she had suddenly developed a taste for nature.

"Um, I think she might be doing her own thing right now." Santana said cautiously.

"I thought I saw her sitting by herself out back."

"You did but-"

"Kay then you know where to find me when you're done." she said and gave Santana a final kiss before she turned to leave.

It was partly because Santana knew that she would never convince Brittany that Quinn wanted to be alone that she let her leave without further comment. It was mostly because that kiss had reminded her of the one before and how badly she wanted to continue it.

Those intentions must have been written all over her face because when she stood to turn around she found Puck right behind her giving the most unamused stern face she had ever seen on him.

"No." he said in a flat tone.

"No what?"

"You will not christen my house before I do."

Santana scoffed, "What makes you think I haven't already?"

"I've been watching you two closely and it's been pretty PG around here but I see that R rating in your eyes and I am telling you now. No."

"You see Puck, when people tell me not to do something I am far more inclined to do it."

"The water is working and I will hose you down." He said before hefting another box up into his arms.

Santana chuckled as she did the same all while contemplating breaking Puck's rule.

* * *

><p>By the time the truck was unloaded and the movers had placed all the furniture, Santana was far too worn out to have lascivious thoughts let alone carry out any such acts. Her source of pleasure came in the form of a beer bottle that Puck offered at the end of the long day. She took her first sip gratefully and almost immediately spit the contents out onto Puck's newly furnished countertop.<p>

"What is this shit?"

"Non-alcoholic beer." Puck replied as he sipped his own with a grimace on his face.

Turning the offending bottle around to read the label she saw the truth of it printed on the front and scowled, "Why would you do this to yourself and others?"

"Quinn isn't big on the idea of me getting to enjoy a beer while she can't so this is the compromise."

"That doesn't make any sense!" she snapped still irritated at the taste in her mouth.

"Any day now Brittany's going to be making just as much sense, you should be ready."

At the mention of her name Santana leaned out of the kitchen and peered through the dining room out onto the back patio where the two blondes sat, Brittany talking animatedly and Quinn watching her with mild interest.

"You should go see what they're talking about." Puck said, now surprisingly close to her.

It felt silly, like they were both afraid to be caught staring. It felt silly until she realized she was afraid, and not of Brittany, but of Quinn. Neither her or her wife had been privy to one but they had heard stories about her mood swings, and given her stoic attitude earlier in the day she was quite sure Quinn was one minor comment from ripping someone's head off. Brittany was always the exception to other's grouchy intolerance, but Santana did not trust herself to not accidentally set her off.

"Nah, Britt looks like she's got it under control."

"But she's been mopey all day and I kinda want to know what that is about without her getting pissed at me cause I don't _already_ know."

"I don't think I should be the one to-" she was cut off by the surprise of Puck pushing her quite easily to the back door.

"Just ask casually and if she gets upset you can just bail."

Santana tried to dig her heels in but she was wearing chucks and the floor was a very well varnished oak, "No wait don't!" she squeaked right before he pushed her out the door and blocked her exit with his body.

"Hi ladies we're pretty much done, Santana why don't you take a load off before you leave? I'm going upstairs to start unpacking." He said quickly and closed the door on her.

Turning with an odd smile she sat in the chair closest to Brittany and tucked her hands into her lap, "Uh, hey Quinn, hope I wasn't interrupting anything."

To her surprise the other woman smiled pleasantly, "No, Brittany was just going over some of these baby catalogs with me." She said indicating the stack on the table.

Relaxing a little she leaned into Brittany's side a little and gained enough confidence to ask, "So how are you feeling about the move?"

The smile faded and that distant look came over her again, "I don't know. I don't regret deciding to keep the baby and I definitely don't want to live alone right now, least of all in New York but… I miss my friends and my job, even though it was cutthroat and awful. I miss my life."

Santana was so surprised by the surge of honesty she actually took another sip of her beer, though the taste reminded her as to why it had been sitting idly in her hands, "You have friends here and you can be a lawyer anywhere, it doesn't have to all go away. If you find yourself removed from the life you want get it back."

"Just that simple huh?" Quinn chuckled.

"Nothing is simple that's worth having." Santana said pressing into her wife a little more, Brittany lifted her hand to Santana's hair, but to her surprise the blonde wasn't smiling, there was a contemplative frown on her face.

Quinn flipped unseeing through a few pages of the catalog, "I'm sick of fighting. Especially this exact same fight. I mean all this time and here I am back in sophomore year being ridiculed by people who have never even met me and being forced to leave a home I have known for years."

"Come on this isn't the same thing at all. You were a kid then, you were in no place to take care of Beth and neither was Puck, and people are going ridicule you regardless Quinn. Haters gonna hate, remember that, it's silly but true."

She rubbed at her forehead in frustration, pinching her eyes tightly together, "I'm more upset at myself for ending up like this again with the same person." She grumbled.

"You're being a brat." Brittany said quietly.

If Santana hadn't been leaning against Brittany so hard she might not have even heard those words rumble out of her mouth. Quinn immediately looked offended and Santana felt the beginnings of alarm, she had no idea what to do if the two of them got into it.

"Excuse me?" Quinn said looking rather disbelievingly at her friend.

"You are being a brat." She repeated more deliberately.

"I'm sorry, am I overreacting to losing my privacy for all of my foreseeable future? Or my years of work at my law firm being washed down the drain? Yes, I can see your point." She growled.

Calmly Brittany ran her fingers through Santana's hair, effectively soothing her, as she spoke, "No you can't, you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself when you have everything." Quinn's mouth fell open in disbelief but before she could interject Brittany continued, "This is nothing like high school, you didn't lose your friends like you did then because the Cheerios weren't your friends they were scared of you. Your friends now still like you if they ever truly were worth your time, they just live in New York and phones _do_ work. And you may not be able to get back all the years you worked at your firm but that's assuming they were ever going to promote you. You did say they always gave you crap just for being a woman and that doesn't make me think they would. If you want to be an important person at a law firm then just open your own, I know Puck and Santana would help you." At this Santana nodded hoping to seem sincere with Brittany basically petting her, "Most of all yes, you do have an unplanned baby on the way but could you really ask for more than for its father to be a man who has a career, can provide for both of you, will love you both with all his heart _and_ is willing to do anything to make you comfortable?"

When she stopped talking Quinn's annoyance seemed to be replaced with slight shame, "I, I guess I hadn't thought of it that way."

"You shouldn't stay here." She went on and at that Santana tensed despite the calming way Brittany was now rubbing her neck.

"Um, I don't know Britt we got her all moved in and everything." Santana joked trying to lighten the mood.

The others ignored her comment as Brittany continued, "No one forced you to come Quinn, and I understand that you don't want to be alone but you can find someone else that isn't Puck. He loves you very much and is trying so hard to be what you want. If there is no way for him to do that then you will only make yourself, Puck and the baby miserable by staying."

The table was silent for a long time before Quinn looked away muttering, "He doesn't have to do anything. He can be so dense and ridiculous sometimes, but I _do_ love him and… I do want to be here."

Brittany nodded her mood suddenly shifting from stern to bubbly, "Good, then stop moping and help me pick a crib. This is all for you ya know, Santana and I got ours the day we knew we were having a baby." She laughed.

* * *

><p>"That was totally amazing." Santana muttered into Brittany's ear as she walked behind her into their bedroom.<p>

Frowning lightly Brittany turned to her, "What was?"

"The way you got Quinn to go easy on herself and Puck." She answered as they walked through the doorway, Santana releasing her only to allow them both a moment to collect their sleeping clothes from the dresser.

"It needed to be said, Quinn was being ridiculous, but it may have been the baby making her act all crabby, I hear they do that."

"Not to you." Santana said letting Brittany sit on their bed before curling around her.

The day had been long and after leaving Puck and Quinn's they had gone out to eat leaving Santana feeling a little worn out and sleepy, but she was never tired enough to not want to cuddle with her wife.

"You're like a big kitty, San." Brittany giggled as Santana's head came to rest in her lap.

"And you're the most awesome woman I've ever met."

"And you are just flattering me because you're hoping to get lucky."

"It had not actually occurred to me, but if you are saying there is a chance I have plenty more compliments where that came from." She said, and even though mere moments before she had been halfway to dreamland she now was feeling the sobering stir of arousal low in her gut.

"I don't know I haven't been feeling very… attractive lately." She said almost shyly as she gripped her night clothes almost self-consciously over her baby bump as if to hide it from Santana.

The brunette sat up and placed soft kisses across Brittany's shoulder, "Good thing you won't be sleeping with you then because I happen to find you very attractive."

That got a small smile out of her as she pulled off her shirt and shorts to get ready to put on her nightgown. Santana watched her closely feeling almost euphorically happy at the sight of their child growing and feeling a keen impatience for the birth, but a longing to make every day last forever.

Noticing her stare, Brittany pulled her nightgown on quickly and sat at the head of the bed with a huff, "I know, it's kind of gross for me get this fat even if it is because of the baby."

Santana had to shake her head to break the spell she had been under and carefully consider the words that had recently been spoken to her, "Whoa, excuse me? Who said anything about gross?"

Rubbing the swell in her belly slightly she shrugged, "I saw you staring at it."

Scoffing at the total inaccuracy of the interpretation she crawled over to Brittany's new position moving behind her and placed her hands over the pale one's that were trying to hide what Santana was most proud of.

"Honey you have got to be kidding me right now, that was the furthest thing from my mind. I was thinking about how I can't wait to meet our child." she accented the sentence with a kiss to her neck, "And how much I love you." Another kiss followed and this one made Brittany smile again, "I wasn't kidding about wanting to get lucky tonight."

Brittany leaned back into her embrace allowing the kisses to continue up to her jaw, "So you don't think I look like I've gained weight?"

Santana snorted, "Of course you've gained weight Britt it's a part of the pregnancy package."

It wasn't so much that Brittany stiffened in her arms, or the sharp intake of breath, it was the fact that the whole room seemed to have gone about thirty degrees colder that let Santana know that she had said something horribly wrong.

"If I'm so damn fat then why are you all over me?" she snapped throwing Santana off her back leaving the brunette _totally_ confused.

"What just happened?" she asked herself more than Brittany.

"You were going on about how fat I've gotten!" Brittany snapped as she stood looking at Santana like she was something horrible.

"The word fat never left my mouth!"

"Well what would you call what I am now?"

"Pregnant?" she questioned not knowing which way to go in this situation.

Turning to look away Brittany sobbed into her hands spurring Santana to leap to her feet, "It's obvious I disgust you so please don't force yourself to try and sleep with me." She cried.

"Britt you have got to be kidding me right now. I don't know what you think I'm thinking, but you are gorgeous, like you always have been."

The sorrow in her voice was replaced by rage as she spun around on her, "So you have always thought I was fat?"

"Brittany you are the only person in this room saying the word fat!" Santana screeched in confused frustration.

"Why are you yelling at me?" she shouted back tears streaming down her face.

Santana clapped her hands to her face and dragged them down laboriously, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Look clearly I messed up somewhere in letting you know what I'm thinking. All I was saying was that I am just as _attracted_ to you now as I have always been, maybe even more and trust me even I didn't think that was possible." She ended her sentence lightheartedly hoping to encourage a laugh, or even a smile, hell even a grin.

All she got was dangerously narrowed eyes, "So you were pretending to be attracted to me before the baby."

Santana just stood with a blank face, "I'm on Candid Camera aren't I?"

Brittany just glared at her through tear filled eyes and slipped under the covers, sighing in total bewilderment Santana followed suit. Usually when in bed together they would hold each other, spoon or at the very least entwine their hands. Tonight however Brittany pulled herself as close to the edge of her side as she could get and Santana felt it was best to let her have her space.

If what Puck had said about Quinn applied to Brittany as well then she would be back to her normal self in a little while. In the meantime Santana turned on her side and allowed herself to drift to sleep hoping that when she woke rational Brittany would be back.

Sleep came easily enough, but evaporated just as quickly when at roughly five in the morning the sound of Brittany outright bawling crashed into her ears. Sitting up abruptly she looked over to see Brittany hugging herself and crying wholeheartedly. Santana crawled over to her quickly not caring if it led to another fight and hugged the blonde close.

"What's wrong?" she asked looking her over as if there were some sort of physical wound, "Do you feel okay? Are you having stomach cramps?" she asked quickly all while praying nothing was wrong with their child.

The crying subsided and Brittany leaned heavily into the embrace, "You didn't hold me when we went to sleep and I thought you were too mad at me to want to keep being my wife." She sobbed.

"What? I-" she stopped realizing that Brittany was not coming from the most logical of places at the moment, "Brittany there isn't anything you could say to me to make me want to stop being your wife okay?"

She nodded burying her face further into Santana's chest, "I know. I do, but something's wrong with me and I just keep having weird feelings."

"I'm pretty sure it's mood swings, from the baby." Santana offered hoping it wouldn't set her off further.

"Oh. Do the moods ever swing to happy?" she asked.

"Yeah um, I thought they almost always did. My cousin had a baby and I remember her being pretty happy most of the time. She cried sometimes too, but only if she was very very happy or something sad happened."

"Quinn's been pregnant twice and I can't think of a lot of times she was happy."

"The first time doesn't count and now, well Quinn on the whole prefers it if no one knows she's capable of the emotion."

Brittany finally laughed and looked up at her, "You aren't going to get fed up with me being all weird?"

Santana planted a reassuring kiss on her lips, "Never."

"Will you hold me?"

"That's all I've wanted to do all night." She said turning Brittany around and draping her arm tactically between her wife's breasts and the baby bump.

"Really? I'm pretty sure that wasn't all you wanted to do."

Santana tensed up, the way Brittany had said that had awoken her inexplicably sensitive libido, however attempting sex was what had started the whole mess in the first place.

"I just want to hold you." She said chivalrously, proud of her restraint in the face of the growing desire that was spreading rapidly from her mind having taken a dip in the gutter and her arm still pressing against the soft swell of breasts.

"So you were lying! I knew you didn't actually want to!"

Santana sat up looking critically at Brittany's face for some sign that she was kidding, there was just no _way_. But apparently there was because the blonde was not in a joking mood.

"For now I just want to hold you, but I'm down for more." She said trying to lean in for a kiss that was denied as she was tossed from the bed onto the floor followed shortly by her pillow.

"Don't do me any favors! Go sleep on the couch since being close to me is such a chore!" Brittany snapped and pulled the covers over her head.

She wanted to protest but decided that for the night, separation might be best and slumped down the stairs to sleep on the couch for the first time in her married life.

* * *

><p>The next morning had Brittany apologizing profusely after having really thought about what she said and Santana had easily forgiven her. They ate breakfast and everything was calm and rational for all of that day and the next and for a moment Santana thought that the incident in the bedroom had been a one time thing… until she foolishly asked Brittany if she was going to go back to work before or after she had worked off the baby fat.<p>

She'd almost had to walk home from the Red Lobster, which was twelve miles from their house.

On the whole in the week that followed her mood stayed pretty steadily on happy and Santana felt sure that she would make it through the remaining six months without much trouble. After all this was Brittany.

* * *

><p>AN: So just to squash the fears that have been arising there will, at no point, be a miscarriage or still birth or anything like that. Even if I sandwiched that between 50 chapters of 20 page long funny ass jokes it would still have no place in the humor category so rest your worried souls those of you who asked about it.

I anticipate roughly four _possibly_ five chapters left before we hit the end so if you haven't stumbled over to my tumblr to vote on my next fic now would be the time (info in my profile). So far the tally is in favor of The Workaholic the Recluse and the Wild Woman but it isn't too late to throw down your opinion cause its pretty close.

In any case now you know why Ohio Santana tread so very carefully :)


	20. Learning the Hard Way

**Learning the Hard Way**

* * *

><p>In the middle of the afternoon, in a far corner of an averagely busy Starbucks sat a man and a woman who, to the casual observer, looked like suspicion incarnate. The two had met with no words and conspicuously moved to the back of the café almost instantly. Only now when they were sure they were alone did both of them break out into wide self-satisfied grins.<p>

Santana Lopez and Noah Puckerman had succeeded in their secret rendezvous, a plan that had been weeks in the making. It had been a long and wide web of white lies to coworkers and friends about where they would be, but here, now, they were finally alone.

Puck pulled off his cap and sunglasses chuckling slightly, "So where is it you're supposed to be?"

Santana ran her fingers through her hair knowing she was marring its perfection and not caring, "Talking with the director of a local school about funding their arts program."

"I hope you have the details of that cover story."

She scoffed, "I told Britt it was Big Bird Elementary, she was so happy I was helping fund Sesame Street she didn't ask anything else."

"That was the best you could think of?"

"Do you know the names of any nearby schools?" she growled at him.

"Yes. All of them. Because Quinn has had me research and visit every single one. I mean the kid isn't even born and I'm filling out applications. Well I am when she isn't flipping out on me about how we have to baby proof the house. I swear Santana you have it easy, I had to actually trade a major part to Kevin to get him to tell Quinn I had an audition for a commercial."

Hearing this she sat bolt upright in her seat, "I have it easy?" she whispered fiercely, determined not to make a scene while letting her irritation at that statement out, "Do you know what Brittany does? She screams and cries uncontrollably about how our couch is baby cow murder because it is made out of leather, except it's made out of chenille and when I tell her that, she accuses me of lying! This will go on until her hormones go the other way, then she's bawling because she yelled at me over the couch and forces me to hold her until she notices the rug in front of the fireplace is made of fur and then she's really pissed! I have had to refurnish our entire living room!"

"Yikes."

"Trust me Puck I need this break every bit as much as you do, just a few short hours to not get myself into trouble. And I still don't get how I manage that, Brittany is like a superhero whose power is to misconstrue every word said into a fat thing." She said leaning back in her chair exhausted.

Puck did the same.

There were moments where she seriously wished she could talk to her other self and get advice, or at least get a heads up on some things. She had to assume, given the ages of the children that the other Brittany had been pregnant at the same time as Quinn, and she couldn't help but wonder if her and Puck's alternate versions went through the same hormone issues. Brittany was moody in the most extreme way and it was always scary because she never knew what would set it off, it could be anything from the rug to how hard she closed the door when she came home. Nothing was safe.

Even eating had become a chore since Brittany knew certain foods were better for the baby, but had no idea which and wasn't too keen on listing to Santana's advice on the issue. That meant she would make up reasons she couldn't eat certain foods, like eggs; because a fetus ingesting a fetus would lead to inception, pork; because pig babies are fat i.e. their baby will be fat, and juice; because the fruits were squeezed to death for their juice and the cries of their dead would be heard by the baby…somehow. The crazy thing was she was fine with other meats, and _eating_ fruits didn't bother her, but Santana wasn't about to point out the obvious contradictions in her logic. It was already hard enough to find things she would eat that weren't some bizarre mixture foods and condiments, the concoction was usually topped by ketchup which had been her craving of choice for the past few months. The previous night she had wanted pea soup with yogurt and ketchup. Santana shuddered at the memory.

Puck took a deep breath and leaned forward with a mischievous look, "We have all day to do whatever the hell we want. What do you want to do first?"

"Drink." She answered instantly.

"Whoa you can't come back from Sesame Street with liquor on your breath." He laughed.

"I'll tell her I was hanging with Oscar; he had some in a paper bag and I didn't want to be rude."

"That's good for you but I'm not about to watch you get hammered on my free day."

"Tell Quinn it was a beer ad."

He considered this for a moment, "I like the way you think."

It was at that moment his phone rang, he pulled it out and looked at the display. From the way his face fell Santana immediately knew it was Quinn.

With a slightly panicked look he answered, "Hey baby…"

The voice on the other end was so loud Santana could hear it clear across the table, "Don't you hey baby me you son on of a bitch I know you don't have an audition! Where are you?"

He gave Santana a pleading 'help me' look but she shook her head knowing there was nothing she could do to calm his wife.

"I'm just out at the moment. The… uh… ad got canceled…"

"Bullshit!" she yelled this so loud he had to yank the phone away from his ear and a few of the other patrons turned to stare, "I know full well there is no audition because I called Kevin and he said you traded the lead part in _Caster_ so he would lie."

Puck stared at his phone in disbelief, "I am going to kill him…" he muttered.

"You ducked a lamaze class to run around playing single while I'm eight months pregnant! When's my turn Noah? When do I get to take a break from hauling all one million pounds of our offspring to prance around the town?"

"In a month?" he tried.

Santana shook her head slowly. Wrong answer. Rule #1: Never antagonize a pregnant woman, even if she is being irrational or unreasonable, actually _especially_ if she is being irrational or unreasonable.

"Oh! In a month? So in a month after this child destroys my body I get to have my free time right? You will breast feed and change diapers while I go out looking like a walking stretch mark, disgusting everyone I see? Yes that sounds like a treat, I can't wait!"

"You could visit a gym."

Santana knew that Puck was honestly trying to be helpful, he wasn't trying to be rude, he really thought he could reason himself out of this rampage. She covered her face in mourning for him.

There was a moment where one could almost see her rage seep through the speaker, "When I get home you had better already be there with a lunch prepared." She said it in such a way that told him to not do it was to put the future of other children on the line.

"Wait, you're already out and about so why not let me enjoy the rest of my day?"

Santana wanted to slap the phone out of his hand.

"I am at Brittany's because like you Santana has gone missing, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?" she asked dangerously.

"She's here with me." Puck said quickly before being immediately slapped repeatedly by Santana with his own hat.

Even though Quinn was no longer yelling she still caught her next words, "Brittany wants to talk to her."

Puck thrust the phone at her and she recoiled like it was a snake made of acid.

"Santana?"

It was Brittany's voice and she knew all too well that the tone she was using meant the hormone winds were blowing in the eastern angry seas.

Gingerly she took the phone, "Hey Britt-Britt."

"Quinn told me you were lying about giving Big Bird's school money! How could you? You know they have lower income families and not all those kids can sing! What if it was our child and no one would help teach him or her about music!" Santana rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"But-"

"No buts Santana Lopez you owe everyone on Sesame Street an apology."

"That's just it! I can't find it, it's the hardest place on earth to get to, it's even in the theme song."

That seemed to quiet her, "Why didn't you just use Google maps?"

"It's not on Google maps and my GPS just took me to a hamburger bun factory when I typed in Sesame Street."

She could tell she was winning this debate, and could have even scored a sympathy point for being lost all day if Quinn hadn't taken the phone from Brittany.

"Whatever crap you're spouting stop it and come home and tell Puck I want a sandwich and there better be bacon on it or I will club him to death with my breast pump." Quinn snapped and the line went dead.

"Quinn wants a bacon sandwich of some variety." Santana drawled handing him back his phone.

"Well this was a total failure."

"Because you suck!"

"I am seriously going to kill Kevin."

"I'll help."

"We should get going."

"Yup."

Neither one of them moved for about ten minutes until Puck's phone rang again, it was only one of his co-stars but the sound put fear into their hearts and they took off out the door.

* * *

><p>Upon returning home Santana whisked Brittany away to the nearest mall to engage her in a day of shopping that successfully took her mind off the earlier deception. Luckily not only did it take her mind off the morning events, it brightened her whole mood since everything she tried on fit. This was of course courtesy of Santana pretending to search through the racks while her wife waited patiently and taking off to the maternity section. Though not every store had one and when that happened she would merely rip the XXL label off the clothes before offering them.<p>

The true luck had been getting her to leave the house at all since her advanced pregnancy left her wary of being in the public eye, especially since the tabloids still hadn't totally lost interest in Puck, Quinn or the people they hung around.

She supposed all that luck was bound to run out at some point.

They had just gotten home after spending all day out and Santana was worn out, though it was a small price to pay for forgiveness. She certainly didn't want Brittany getting the very false idea that she was getting sick of her and if a few clothes and seven meals were the price, so be it. Eating was a part of the atonement since Santana had been full after their first lunch but Brittany had still been hungry throughout the day. Her wife was definitely eating for two, but Santana was learning she wouldn't eat those portions alone.

Setting the bags at the door, Santana followed Brittany up the stairs sleepily, she wanted to helpfully steady her on the way up but the last time she had tried she had been yelled at for an hour so she kept her hands to herself.

Once they reached the top she saw Brittany shuffle uncomfortably which prompted Santana to offer, "Would you like a foot rub before bed?" she knew from the moment she asked that she had made a dire mistake. Storm clouds seemed to form above Brittany's head.

"Why would I need a foot rub?" she asked in a chilly tone as she turned around.

"Uh," thinking fast she tried to run all the possible ways a foot rub could be misconstrued into a fat jibe and came up blank. "You look like your feet are bothering you."

"I used to spend hours at the studio on my feet dancing all day and you didn't seem to think I needed one then."

That wasn't true, she offered constantly and occasionally did get a chance to give one, but she wasn't going to contradict her, that would be Puck level stupid.

"We were all over the place today and you didn't really get a break so…" she trailed off, the more words she said meant the more chances there were for her to be cornered.

"I get it, poor fat Brittany waddling around all day with all that extra weight, I think I'll show her some pity."

_If_ this were a normal conversation Santana might have argued that line of reasoning wasn't a bad nor offensive one but this wasn't, so she didn't.

"Not at all. I really like your feet and was thinking about how I wanted to give them a rub and you have been on them all day so I thought you might like it." The lie was desperate but she was cornered with no way out.

"So why haven't you tried to give me a foot rub all month?"

_Okay Santana time to shine. You can do it, you can make it out of this, you're so close._ Brittany was the master of offering a false sense of security so here was where she needed to be the most careful.

"Because you didn't look like they bothered you before, but now it seems like they could use one and I would love to."

She seemed to consider this, "They do hurt a little."

"Which is perfect because I want to rub them." Santana said, hope blossoming trough her.

"You don't mind touching them? They're all huge and dumpy looking."

Some slightly suicidal part of her brain offered the comment, 'Britt, don't be silly you can't even see your feet.' but thankfully that part was silenced.

"What? They are not, they are slim and beautiful and so are you."

Never had Santana seen a complement turn someone's mood as black as hers had turned Brittany's.

"You _liar_! I saw them in the mirrors at the mall!" she snapped.

Santana was trying to think but her little ship was sinking fast, "But I wasn't lying about wanting to give you a foot rub."

If lightning could strike with the power of rage it would have then, "So you _were_ lying about my feet?"

_How did I walk into that one?_

"Er…" was all she got out before Brittany stormed into their bedroom and slammed the door so hard Santana's hair flew back.

Sighing in defeat the brunette trotted down the stairs and into the guest bedroom that currently contained a bedroom set for the baby once it outgrew the crib. Santana had wanted to wait until they knew if it was a boy or a girl and ideally until they had gotten to know him or her better to plan the best room setup. But Brittany had wanted it and she still hadn't figured out how to tell regular Brittany no. Against a pouting mother-to-be Brittany there was no hope. She supposed it was a good thing her wife didn't know the extent of the hold this pregnancy gave her.

_Or maybe she does._ She thought as she flopped down on a twin bed with white sheets and a matching bedroom set that was crammed in the room with the queen sized bed and corresponding furniture that the guest room usually housed. The guest bed was quite comfortable, but she had seen to it that their child's would be even more so, but the real reason was because it calmed her to think of what was waiting for her at the end.

Smiling, she crawled under the covers and pulled her bracelet off to twirl it in her fingers. It was weird to think of the woman she used to be before that bracelet, trying was like recalling a long tragic movie that she wasn't interested in watching again. She was excited about the baby- no, ecstatic was closer to the truth. And nervous, she was incredibly nervous about being anyone's mother, but most of all she was ready.

Exhaustion caused her eyes to drift shut but then the sound of knocking from the front door snapped her out of the daze. Confused about who would be knocking at close to ten at night she walked to the door and glanced through the peephole. Puck stood outside looking as harassed as she had moments before wearing a matching Power Rangers pajama set.

Wearily she pulled the door open, "Should I assume she wasn't that forgiving about your fake ad?"

He snorted, "I pulled out a BLT and she forgot all about it. I got thrown out for leaving the toilet seat up."

"Aren't you a little old to not know not to do that and… you know to wear those." She said gesturing to his attire.

"First of all the Red Ranger is a boss so shut your face, second it wasn't up because I peed. I had scrubbed the whole bathroom from top to bottom, by her request mind you, and forgot to put it back down after I cleaned it."

"I supposed that is somehow marginally better."

"Can you let me in or what? She seriously kicked me off the whole property, I couldn't even get my coat or real clothes."

"Yeah get your ass in here before you're all over the _Inquirer_ in your man-child suit."

Puck walked in and headed directly for the guest room, this wasn't the first time Quinn had kicked him out, but they both knew she would reset by morning, as would Brittany. He walked straight in and plopped on the queen sized bed in the same boneless manner she had, giving her an odd look when she resumed her position on the remaining mattress.

"I take it I'm not the only one in trouble."

"Offered her a foot rub." Santana mumbled as she shifted under the sheets trying to get comfortable.

"You absolute bitch." He laughed.

"Her ability to twist my words is almost magical."

"Tell me about it, I finally know how Daffy Duck feels in those Duck Season Rabbit Season skits."

She giggled, "Are you trying to relive your childhood to have common ground with your kid or something."

"I got the pj's from when I was a stunt double for that Power Rangers movie from like, way back when I first started out."

"And has nothing to do with your love of a children's television show."

"If I went upstairs and searched your drawers you're saying I wouldn't find anything less than adult?"

"You go upstairs and you will be disemboweled by my wife while I laugh."

He chuckled at that, "Maybe, but not before I bust you on that floor length Wonder Woman nightgown."

"It was a gift from Brittany!" she whispered fiercely so as not to incur wrath from above.

"Doesn't mean you don't love it."

"I love everything my wife gives me." Santana grumbled stubbornly.

"Is _that_ why you accidentally threw the neon pink leotard in the fireplace?"

"Not that I am saying that was anything less than an actual accident but... in my defense it had neon yellow tiger print stripes."

"I rest my case." He said yawning widely.

The room went quiet for a moment before Santana spoke up again, "Did you guys ever settle on a name?"

"Yup but it's a secret until the big reveal." It was clear sleep was tugging at him.

"How did you guys settle that one? I thought you were going to have to buy another house with how often you got kicked out during the big name debate."

"Basically we agreed that if it's a boy I will name him and if it's a girl she will."

Santana looked over at her bracelet and wondered if there was any way that this would be the same, "Joseph for a boy and Abigail for a girl."

The sleep that had been settling over Puck vanished as he sat straight up, "What the hell? She made me sign a damn mountain of legal documents saying I won't tell anyone and then she just picks up a phone and tells you?"

Santana grinned, "She didn't tell me."

"Brittany then."

"No."

"Well you didn't guess."

Turning and sitting up in her bed she looked at him with a small smile, "You remember my vows? At my wedding?"

"Ranks on my top ten of sappiest things I have ever heard, but yeah." He said jokingly.

"I didn't just wake up one day and see the light, on Christmas eve something happened. It was like a dream but it wasn't. I saw our life if we had stayed together after prom. I _lived_ our life together. I saw you and Quinn married with lots of kids and as happy as I had ever seen you. Brittany and I had two beautiful girls and before I came back to my reality we were expecting another."

Puck just looked at her, "Huh?"

"I don't expect you to understand but that day when everything changed, I went somewhere. Maybe it was to another world or maybe it was to Hobby Lobby to get some beads and make myself a bracelet, but I don't think so. I believe this," she said holding up her wrist and showing the beaded accessory no one but her really knew the purpose of, "came from my daughters, and I either dreamed them up or really met them, but in either case I think I'll see them again."

"Uh, okay. And how does this lead to you knowing the names-"

"Your sons were Joseph, Caleb and Aaron and your only daughter was Abigail."

He stared at her intently for another long moment, "I must have told you my top picks for baby names when I was drunk or something."

She shrugged, "Believe what you want, but it's what I saw."

"I guess it makes about as much sense as you having your 'Fuck the World and All the People In It' attitude one day and the next being all gung ho about flaunting everything you had ever tried to hide." He said his brow furrowing with thought. "Did you ever tell Britt about your, um, experience?"

Sighing she leaned back onto the headboard, "Before it wasn't really the right time and now… I mean it matters but it doesn't you know? No matter what happens I'm doing everything I can to have the life I should have started with her a decade ago. Sure there are a few things that I still want to be the same, like I hope you and Quinn work out in the long run and I hope that Britt and I have the same kids but if it's different I won't freak and she shouldn't either. I just want everything to happen naturally."

"Huh." He said lying back down, "If it was everything you say it was I would want it exactly the same."

Santana scoffed slightly, "I wouldn't want it _exactly_ the same for a lot of reasons, there were a few… mistakes made that I would want to correct. The only thing I want from that life is the love and family that we all had. Otherwise I would have tried to move myself Brittany, you and Quinn to Ohio, before taking up a job as the Cheerios' coach."

Puck outright laughed at that, "In your dream world you had _Sylvester's_ job?"

"Yeah and you owned a bar a relative left to you."

"The Buckeye? I own it now, though it doesn't do anything for me, I make more in a week on set then it does in a year."

"It supported you and your family just fine."

"Hmm." He said in a sleepy pensive tone.

The guest room fell silent once more and Santana felt her eyes drift shut before Puck woke her _again_.

"Um hey Santana, my kids were all happy and healthy right?"

"Course." She said softly still on the cusp of sleep.

"And did Joseph look like me? Did any of them?"

"They all kind of looked like both of you but in different ways, but I think physically Joseph was the most similar. Though, like I said, I don't know if things will be the same here."

"I can't wait to see him."

Sighing into her pillow she grumbled, "I told you it might not be the same. You might have a girl."

"Nah, I had a one sided chat with the baby, it'll be a boy."

Santana considered explaining how ridiculous that was, but once again noted the Power Ranger pajamas and gave up, "Why do you want a boy so bad?"

"I don't really, I'm like you; I'll love whoever I get. It's just I think Quinn and I both need this to not become a reenactment of Beth. I know it isn't the same at all but having a boy would go really far in making it totally different for us."

She nodded weakly into her pillow, "C'n understand that."

"Night." He mumbled to her.

She tried to respond but the sound died on her lips as sleep finally clubbed her over the head.

Unfortunately consciousness was just as gentle.

First thing in the morning Santana found herself swept up into a whirlwind of emotion and tears as Brittany practically yanked her out of bed and into her arms.

"Baby I'm so sorry! I know you were trying to be nice and I keep ruining those moments! I see why you'd want to run away from me for a day I was being horrible!" the blonde wept as she squeezed Santana close.

"Britt, hon, it's okay really." She said trying to escape the powerful hug that was crushing the air out of her.

"No it's not! You were so sweet and I was being awful!"

Finally escaping the hold she wiped away the steady flow of tears as best she could before giving Brittany a kiss, "Don't get upset about it alright?"

"You aren't mad?"

"Nope." She said, these assurances had to be worked through every time she was reinstated to their bedroom, "And I don't want to run away from you. I love you and the baby so very much okay?"

"But you and Puck tried to hide from me and Quinn yesterday." She sniffled.

"We were trying to take a break but only because looking after a pregnant woman is a lot of work not because we didn't want to be around you two. We didn't think we'd be missed while we were gone."

"Am I that much of a burden?" Brittany asked, her blue eyes filling with tears again.

On top of naturally wanting to explain how that was totally off the mark, 'burden' felt like too close a cousin to 'fat' for Santana's liking.

"No way babe, I love taking care of you. We just didn't think it would be a big deal." That wasn't true, they had both known it would be a big deal if they were found out, they just didn't know how to convince their wives it _wasn't_ actually a big deal.

Finally convinced she smiled brightly and gave Santana several return kisses in all of her favorite places; behind her ear, along her jaw, the nape of her neck…

It took little to get Santana worked up since the pregnancy, and even more so lately. Soon she had lifted herself up to take Brittany's lips and really get a reward for her rough night when Brittany pulled away, "Santana." She warned.

Groaning she sat back already knowing what that was about. Ever since Brittany had gone to the doctor and was told the baby's ears were fully developed she insisted that they keep conversations and audible actions child appropriate, despite Santana's many protests that the baby had no idea what was going on. Add to the fact that Brittany had prohibited all breast contact she found herself stuck in a sex drought with an unintentionally teasing wife and no possible relief other than what she offered herself.

If her pride had allowed it she would have asked Puck what he had done about it, but then again she was pretty sure he dealt with the problem in the same way.

_Actually where is Puck?_ She asked herself looking around and instantly found him right where he had been the night before sitting up and staring at them blearily.

And that wasn't all she noticed.

"Seriously!"

Puck grabbed a nearby pillow and plopped it in his lap, "I swear this has nothing to do with you. It's morning and I can't help it." He said seriously looking a little grumpy and mostly still sleepy.

"What is he doing here?" Brittany asked lightly.

"Inappropriate toilet cleaning protocol." He said before a large yawn overtook him.

"What?"

"Quinn kicked him out." Santana explained.

"Again?"

He snorted, "You're hardly one to tal-" Santana threw her pillow like an oversize shuriken effectively silencing him.

"So what do my special someones want for breakfast?" she asked Brittany placing her hands lightly on the extended belly.

"Grits with lots of ketchup, extra raisins and a side of creamed corn." Brittany said immediately.

"Dear lor-" Another pillow silenced Puck.

"It shall be done." She said giving Brittany final kiss before leaping off the bed, "And you, go home and apologize." She said to Puck.

"Aw maaan." He moaned flopping back down on the bed.

Usually Quinn would call and demand he return home which turned out to be Fabray for 'Sorry I may have overreacted.' If he wanted to go home before that delightful time came he would have to apologize profusely no matter how unreasonable Quinn was being. Santana really did feel for him but he was running his mouth too much this morning and be damned if she was going to get booted out of her house because of him.

"You heard, this is a private breakfast."

"What if I stay in here and don't make any noise?"

"Puck you don't have to go home, you just can't stay here."

"But-"

"San, be nice. He's our friend." Brittany said frowning a little.

Santana ground her teeth, "Yeah okay, you can stay for a while."

Her wife smiled in a way that brightened her whole day quelling some of Santana's anger, but not all of it.

As Brittany stood to leave she moved close to Puck, "But not one peep out of you." She growled at him.

He nodded swiftly and gave her a quick salute before she followed Brittany and began to prepare one of the most unappealing breakfasts she had ever concocted. As was usual these days, Brittany had her totally sexually frustrated and the mood swings weren't exactly fun, but were par for the course. And granted finding creative ways to pretend to eat ketchup grits and other strange meals was getting increasingly difficult, but Santana was still the happiest she had ever been in her life. On some level, even though he was sulking in the guest room, she knew Puck was as well.

That thought and the knowledge of their upcoming child warmed her heart and made her smile widely, even as she fake chewed her spoonful of gritty raisin ketchup and inched towards the sink to dump it all as soon as Brittany turned her head.

* * *

><p>AN: To answer a couple of questions:

How old are Brittany and Santana at this point? A lady never tells! But senior prom was when they were eighteen and it took Santana ten years to get her act together so you can do a little number crunching.

What was Santana's job before Florida? Never really mentioned it in this fic (I don't think) it was mainly brought up at the beginning and end of the original. Santana did live solely off Miles' money because she could, she had managed to make quite a bit on her own and had invested that wisely. Plus she was rubbing elbows with the social elite so cash came easy. Her personal bank account made her rich but whereas she's loaded Miles is, the ever hated, 1% wealthy.

Also I am going out of town for like five days, but I believe (assuming wherever I am has wifi) that I will be able to update normally but if after a week you only hear radio silence know I merely lack connection. (done pretty good dodging delays so far, beat Mass Effect 3 in record time)

FYI Still time to vote on my next fic if you're interested.

(Not so) Fun fact: This isn't the first sequel of Glimpse to exist. There was another one that came first and it dealt with Ohio pretty exclusively. It was hailed by my writing mentor as my best work ever, it also no longer exists (by accident) which we both felt was for the best. But that's enough rambling in the notes, maybe next time I'll tell you why it was banished.

Review plzkthxbi


	21. Tranquility

**Tranquility**

* * *

><p>Santana was sure the day could somehow be more perfect, but realistically she didn't see how.<p>

Sitting on her back porch in only a pair of grey sweatpants and a sports bra with a cigarette in one hand, a beer in the other and a post sex glow that made her feel like the winner of a trillion dollar lottery. Actually even that didn't cover it. The victory of being able to enjoy a cigarette only came with the fact that she had put her wife in a sex coma and was unlikely to wake for the next few hours.

Brittany had been rather diligent about her no sex in front of the baby policy even though it seemed to be killing her more than it was Santana and it had driven Santana up the damn wall. The ninth month of pregnancy came along and she had given up all hope. Until that morning during a meeting with one of her many lawyers and several hopeful young men and women all yearning to be the thing _the_ Santana Lopez took an interest in next. One minute she had been sitting watching a man pitch the idea of a talk show hosted by a cartoon dog and the next she had a text that only contained the words: _So horny right now –Britt-Britt._

Those words made her leap out of her seat, practically fly out of the restaurant she had been in and dive into her car. In her race home she was pretty sure a cop had spotted her but she was definitely going too fast to be caught and had arrived home at dangerous speeds, only applying her breaks at the last possible second. The moment she stepped in the door she started throwing her clothes off and by the time she made it to the top of the steps she was in nothing but panties.

Brittany had been in the bedroom at their mirror brushing her hair when Santana burst in and had jumped at her sudden intrusion but hadn't been allowed to say one word as Santana caught her mouth in a kiss meant to silence. She had been determined that she was _not_ going to lose her opportunity to pregnancy hormones.

She had made the most of the moment and even now as she took another long satisfied drag of her cigarette she felt the urge to go upstairs and do it all again.

Somewhere off to her right her cell phone rang and only the sudden irrational hope that it was Brittany requesting more made her bother to grab it off the nearby table.

"Hello?"

"Santana? Are you home?" It was Quinn and she sounded agitated.

"Yes and why?"

"I tried calling Brittany like twenty times and it goes straight to voicemail, I'm at your place at the front door and I've been knocking and ringing the doorbell for a while now."

"Oh." she said glancing over her shoulder as if she could see Quinn from there, "I'm on the back porch and Britt is asleep, the door is open so come on in."

Quinn hung up the phone and did just that as she appeared a moment later with the tiny bundle that was Joseph resting peacefully in her arms.

Upon seeing him Santana couldn't help but smile and she quickly put out her cigarette to keep the smoke from drifting to his tiny frame. Quinn pulled a chair closer to Santana's lounger and sat back to observe the view the back yard allowed.

"Should I ask why your clothes are all over the floor by the front door?" Quinn asked shuffling Joseph's weight carefully.

"Not unless you want to hear the start of an awesome sex story."

"Pass. Figured it had something to do with that. I thought she wanted to protect the baby's impressionable mind."

"Covered her belly with a towel. I'm pretty sure she knew it wasn't going to block any sound but she was a little too distracted to really protest."

"That may be true but I'm sure she'll protest your smoking."

Santana gave Quinn a toothy grin, "She isn't getting up from that for a while."

The other woman observed her critically for a moment, "You are disturbingly like Puck sometimes."

She rolled her eyes, "Don't even. What did you stop by for anyway?"

"Well Brittany said she really wanted to spend some time with Joseph." Quinn said shrugging slightly.

Santana snorted, her grin becoming a smirk, "I'm sure she did, but that's bullshit, we see each other all the time. Admit it, you love hanging around us."

Quinn blanched and seemed almost offended by the accusation, but didn't deny it, "It isn't a crime to just come over is it?"

"Course not. Now let me see my godson." Santana said sitting up and holding out her arms.

Quinn moved closer and she carefully took the boy in her arms unable to keep from gushing at him as his eyes observed her in a sweeping barely focused way.

She held him wondering if this was it would feel like to hold her own baby, she hoped so.

Taking a seat in the other lounge chair Quinn asked, "So how long does she have left now? Two weeks?"

"One week and five days." Santana asked never taking her eyes off Joseph.

"Are you ready?"

Santana shrugged, "I don't know how to get ready, I mean besides buying diapers and cribs."

"I guess I mean are you more excited or nervous."

She sat back down giving a shaky laugh, "I'm excited, but nervous has to be the winner between the two. I've been calling my mom like daily for support."

Quinn frowned slightly, "And she isn't coming here?"

Santana shook her head as she gently stroked Joseph's cheek, "Not until the birth, Ohio's only a few hours by plane. I told Brittany she was coming and it turned into this whole thing about how I was trying to pawn her off on my mother because of her weight etcetera, etcetera. Mom understood what was going on though so she said she'd wait until the last minute."

Chuckling, Quinn sat back and looked out at the open yard, "Mood swings are not something I am going to miss."

"Same here."

"Hmmm, I wonder how you'll be when it's your turn." She said airily.

It was a lucky thing Santana had such a firm hold on the baby because the comment stunned her, "Scuse me?"

"Brittany did mention she wanted both of you to give birth."

She had totally forgotten about that detail, "She did, but I don't think I will be."

"Why not?"

"Why?"

Quinn stared at her for a moment, "She seems pretty set on it, don't you think you should tell her?"

"I didn't know she was still thinking about it."

"She is."

Giving the infant a light kiss she handed him back to his mother as he began to squirm restlessly and returned to her beer, "I'll talk to her about it but not now, not unless I want to share a room with my mom."

"Very true."

"Have you given any thought to Brittany's suggestion?" Santana asked knowing full well she was being obvious about her topic change.

"Which suggestion?"

"About starting your own firm."

Quinn rocked Joseph slightly as his unrest became more vocal and soon he was soothed to silence, "I have. It would be a lot of work especially with an infant on my hands, but I would like to try."

"You do know to call us if you need us right? I know about a billion lawyers and most of them are looking for something new, if you need anything from money and connections to a babysitter we're here."

"Yeah." She replied with a smile.

Heavy footfalls reached their hearing and before Quinn could turn to see who it was Santana had leapt up throwing her beer and the cigarette, ashtray and all, into the small nearby trashcan.

Moments later Brittany stepped onto the porch looking still half asleep, "San the baby keeps kicking, I don't think the towel worked." She said looking worriedly at her belly.

Seeing the concern in her face Santana stood and felt her stomach, almost immediately a kick met her palm, "Don't worry, the baby is probably just wondering why everything was shaking around that's all." Santana said knowingly.

"I suppose." She said still staring looking only partially convinced.

"Hi Brittany." Quinn said.

Having just realized she was there the taller blonde jumped a little, "Oh hi Quinn!" Brittany said suddenly wide awake and trying to straighten her hair to try and hide the evidence of previous events.

"You look nice today, what's the special occasion?"

It wasn't really true, she was wearing a nightgown that was wrinkled from having spent so much time on the floor and her hair was a mess despite the effort to fix it, but Quinn understood that Brittany needed every word of praise she could get. Or rather _Santana_ needed Brittany to get every word of praise she could.

"Nothing I was just looking for Santana." She said blushing slightly as she gestured towards the brunette, "I was sleeping really hard but then the baby woke me up."

She seemed to be under the impression she could hide what she had really been up to from Quinn and both of the other women were content to let her think that.

"Do you want me to make you lunch?"

She nodded yawning slightly, "I think so, I'm sort of battling between hungry and being too sleepy to eat."

"I know that feeling." Quinn said.

Noticing Joseph for the first time Brittany moved to see him making Quinn stand to prevent her from having to try and bend over, "Hello handsome." She cooed.

The infant gurgled in response making Brittany grin.

"Have you two come up with names for your baby yet?" Quinn asked.

"Nope, Britt wants to wait until after the delivery." Santana normally wouldn't agree with that, but she didn't want to push Violet or Purple as a name and couldn't quite figure what had made the other Brittany come to that one. Obviously it hadn't been planned.

"Okay." Quinn sounded as dubious as Santana felt. "Well at the very least you're ready to have a new member of the household right?"

Santana stood and took the long way around the chair not wanting to give Brittany more chances to pick up the scent of cigarette smoke than she already had, "I am the epitome of readiness." She said arrogantly before strutting inside.

* * *

><p>Santana was sleeping peacefully when she felt someone shaking her. One bleary eye cracked open, but when nothing caught her attention she allowed it to drift shut again and return to sleep. It wasn't long before it happened again but this time with a bit more force.<p>

It was her intention to say 'Yes what do you want?' it came out a low grumble punctuated with a whine at her displeasure at being disturbed.

"Santana wake up." Came Brittany's voice.

Only the note of worry she heard made her push herself up on weak arms and turn to face the other woman, "What is it Britt?" she grumble and was impressed that she had managed to be intelligible.

"I think I wet the bed." She said quietly.

This was a sobering statement that had Santana sitting up though one eye was more open than the other, "You what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't even feel like I had to go to the bathroom."

Santana sat up now wide awake and pulled the sheets back, the bed was totally soaked underneath the pregnant woman, "Britt, your water broke." She said her mind not quite processing the words.

"I know that's what I said."

Shaking her head she felt her pulse escalate as she understood more and more what that meant, "No it means the baby is coming and it's time to go to the hospital, like now." She said it calmly though she knew the panic would hit her momentarily.

There was a brief moment where they just stared at each other and Brittany began to calmly shuffle out of the bed, "Okay so I didn't wet the bed? It was the baby? Wow, she had a lot of pee…"

"HOLY SHIT!" and there was the panic.

Santana scrambled out of the bed and hit the floor running for the overnight bag that was in the closet and threw it out the bedroom door where it cleared the balcony and landed by the front door.

Brittany clapped a little, "Good throw."

Not listening Santana undressed and pulled on a t-shirt that was inside out and backwards and a pair of Brittany's maternity sweatpants that were way too big. She tied the waistband so it would fit her resulting in her looking like a kid playing dress-up. Desperate, she grabbed one of the many gowns in the drawer and had Brittany changed out of her wet sleep clothes before the blonde could inform her wife that she could very well do it herself.

Santana half dragged half carried Brittany down the stairs and into the car where she jumped in, and then jumped right back out as she remembered the bag still sitting at the door.

Brittany watched her in mild amusement, Santana had packed an emergency overnight bag that was in the trunk, but it seemed almost cruel to tell her that as she shoved the bag into the back seat of the car.

Once the Latina had thrown herself back in the front seat Brittany turned and gave her a kiss, "You can calm down, I'm alright."

Santana took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves "Yeah okay, don't want to get pulled over for speeding or something-" she was cut off as Brittany clutched at the car door as the first contraction hit her, the car was on and racing down the road before the wave of pain had even fully hit.

* * *

><p>They arrived at the hospital in record time with Santana being reprimanded for her driving the whole way but the brunette couldn't have cared less as she would rather have Brittany upset with her than have her child be born in a car. However once they were situated the doctor informed her that the baby wasn't totally ready to make an exit from the womb just yet.<p>

The news allowed Santana to calm slightly and get her head on straight only then realizing that she had left her cell phone on the nightstand at home. Grudgingly she used the hospital phone to call Puck to ask him to bring it to her and to explain the situation. Luckily he was already up since little Joseph didn't believe in letting his parents sleep and was over in a matter of minutes walking up to her looking like he hadn't slept in days.

"Here." He said handing her the phone, "Mind if I hang out here for a moment? I think this is the first time there isn't someone demanding my immediate attention."

"I was kind of hoping you would." She said glancing back down the hall at Brittany's room.

"Cool." He said and curled up in one of the waiting room chairs and fell straight to sleep.

"Puck!" she snapped and he jolted awake.

"It's your turn to feed him." He replied then realizing that wasn't the appropriate response turned his unfocused eyes on Santana, "What?"

"I kind of wanted you for moral support."

"Go team?" he offered.

"I don't know what to do here!" she whined wanting to go back to Brittany's side but not knowing what to do once there.

"You don't have to do anything besides be there for Brittany. Look, Joseph took about nine hours to pack and move out and since this is her first baby it'll probably take a similar amount of time. Just go in there and relax." He said repositioning himself to lie across four chairs before drifting back to sleep.

Flipping her phone open she walked back towards Brittany's room while dialing Carla's number, the phone went to voicemail before she hung up and dialed again finally rousing her mother.

"Hello? Santana?" Carla said groggily.

"Mom the baby's coming." She said nervous joy evident in her voice.

Those words perked the older woman right up, "She went into labor?"

"About an hour ago, the doctor said it'll be a while though."

"I'm on my way." She said abruptly.

"Okay, but wait mom!" she called out hoping the other woman wouldn't hang up first.

"Yes?"

"What should I do? I mean until the baby comes?" she asked hoping for something more detailed than Puck's advice of sticking around.

"Stay by her side and be strong. That's all you can do at the moment."

Santana glared at her phone, that couldn't really be it, or maybe it was. She had read countless books on the subject, but not one word of it was coming to mind. What she needed was note cards or someone to tell her what to do but her mother had given her more useless advice and Puck was already snoring loudly. Deciding that the best person to know Brittany's needs was the woman herself she raced back to her room suddenly desperate to see the blonde again.

Brittany sat looking dubiously at her hospital clothes, "This doesn't seem very warm."

"There are tons of blankets so you'll be fine." Santana said helpfully before helping Brittany into her gown.

As soon as the blonde was dressed and under the thin covers she looked pleadingly at Santana, "It really is cold in here can you see if I can get some more covers?"

Santana pressed the call button for the nurse, but swiftly decided the response time wasn't good enough and dutifully ventured out to the nurse's station to acquire them. After a few minutes she was given the requested blankets and returned to Brittany's room, swiftly shook them out and placed them over her. Only to have them flung clean across the room and onto the floor.

"What are you doing it's burning up in here!" she snapped in exasperation.

Frowning, Santana tried to think back and find if the fault lay with her memory, she could swear Brittany had said she was too _cold_…

"Sorry." She said still dumbfounded.

Moving to Brittany's side she pushed her hair out of her face as she watched the other woman focus fiercely on the wall across from her, "Contractions?" Seeing her nod quickly made Santana slip onto the bed next to her hold her comfortingly, "Puck's here, he's dead asleep but he's here. I think Quinn and Joseph will be by later if for no other reason than to drag him home."

She had hoped to distract her with the weak attempt at humor, but Brittany seemed more irritated than anything.

Having spent roughly six months with that look as a precursor to sleeping alone on a couch Santana became immediately concerned, "Uh, is there something I can get you to make you more comfortable-"

"Epidural." Brittany replied instantly.

She was surprised by the swift intensity of the answer, "It's a little early for that don't you think? The doctor said it would be a few hours. I was thinking more along the lines of an extra pillow."

"Why did you ask if you weren't going to help?" she snapped shortly and before Santana could even react had pulled her close, "Sorry." The apology was almost panted out as it was clear Brittany was in pain again.

"No it's okay I'll go see if we can find someone to give you one."

She found a nurse that was actually able to help and made the request, what she hadn't known was that the pain medication was administered through a sinister looking needle into the spine. Which seemed totally counterproductive and ominously indicative of the pain Brittany was in if that was the preferable option.

What Santana didn't know was the difference between a break in contractions and cease to pain entirely which was how she was lured into an immediate sense of security that was quite false. For the most part the pain seemed manageable and they were both in a pretty positive mood, which was why Santana was so ill prepared for the change.

It happened just outside of her view. She had left to go get a can of juice from the vending machine and to check and see if Puck was where she had left him, which he was, and when she returned Brittany looked to be in a great deal of pain.

Concerned she rushed to her side murmuring words of comfort that were met with a sharp, "Shut up!"

Taken aback she gaped at Brittany who sat gripping the hospital bed fiercely, her breathing quick and erratic.

"Babe what's wrong? Isn't the medication working?"

"Jesus I ask you to shut up and you keep talking! Is it opposite day or am I just confused!"

Santana just stared back not daring to reply, even in her rages about being called fat, Brittany had never been so brutally hostile, it had usually just been accusations followed by a door slam.

Suddenly Brittany gasped in pain making Santana hold her close not caring what sort of reaction would be had but thankfully by the time she made her move the pain had receded and calm returned to the pale face.

"This hurts a lot more than I thought it would." She mumbled resting her head back on the pillow. "I hope the baby doesn't take much longer because this sucks."

Silence filled the room until Brittany spoke again.

"Did you call my parents?"

Santana just stood unwilling to say anything that would upset her further, however _that_ upset her further.

"Why won't you talk to me?"

Cautiously Santana spoke, "You told me not to. I haven't called your parents yet but I will, I already called my mom and she said she'd be here in a few hours which was a few hours ago so that could be anytime now, it isn't a long flight. I'll call Faith and Richard right now-"

As she spoke Brittany's face contorted in pain and she forcefully shoved Santana back from her bed yelling, "Close your mouth!"

Miffed she moved back to her original position determined to be a comfort somehow, "But-"

She always knew Brittany was strong, her active lifestyle and the demanding physical needs of her job left her well muscled. But it wasn't the lithe toned dancer that grabbed her by the collar of her shirt, it was the spirit of a prize winning wrestler who specialized in tight, circulation cutting holds. Santana found that breathing was no longer an automatic function as all access to her lungs had been cut off by the vice grip Brittany had on her shirt that was twisted in her hand.

The pregnant woman pulled her impossibly close and hissed, "If you don't shut your fucking mouth and get out of my sight I may actually kill you."

She released the smaller girl with a shove that had her stumbling back towards the door, wounded Santana left feeling like the worst kind of shit. All she had to do was stay by her side and instead managed to get herself kicked out of the room. Leaving defeated she occupied her time by calling the Pierce's and relaying the news with as much joy in her voice as she could stand to stuff into it in light of her current situation. To try and curb the feeling of dejection she called Hailey told her the news, the younger girl was quite overjoyed at the news and eager to talk allowing Santana to maintain a longer than necessary conversation before hanging up and waiting next to a comatose Puck.

In the long minutes that passed she didn't dare reenter the room but did mercilessly grill every nurse that set foot in the room about Brittany's progress. However it wasn't long before Santana found herself drifting off next to Puck when the sound of her name roused her. Worried something had happened she shot up out of her chair only to find it was Carla moving swiftly towards her. Grateful to have a conscious rational adult to share the moment with she hugged her mother almost bursting into tears with joy and stress.

"How is she?" Carla asked immediately.

"I don't know the nurses haven't been in recently." She said glancing furtively at the door.

"Well how do you think she's doing?" Her mother laughed.

"Don't know. Haven't been in there since she kicked me out a half hour ago."

Carla's mouth fell open, "You left her alone in there?"

"She said she'd kill me if I didn't get out!" Santana exclaimed defensively.

"Of course she did! The poor girl has a human being trying to use her vagina as a slip and slide, of course she threatened to kill you, and your job as her wife is to let her."

Santana was genuinely confused, "What?"

"When I had you I promised to castrate your father every thirty seconds or so, but he stayed by my side and despite all my threats that was exactly where I wanted him."

She was unconvinced, "Mom I really think she wants to be alone."

"Of course she doesn't. Don't be an idiot and get in there." Carla said shoving her out of the waiting room.

Reluctantly she guided her mother to Brittany's room and once again peeked inside only to find herself shoved in by Carla. At the sound her wife looked up and a relieved expression crossed her features.

"Santana!" she exclaimed holding her arms out for her and the brunette went to her without hesitation, glad that she had been forgiven for the crime of talking, "I thought you had left."

"No way would I leave you right now." She said quietly not sure if talking was indeed safe.

"Why didn't you come back?" Brittany almost sobbed into her shirt.

"Uh, cause you told me to get out…" she said slowly not sure how this was news.

Brittany looked up in confusion, "I did?"

"Yes. Under threat of death."

Hugging Santana closer she nuzzled into her shirt, "I didn't mean it, don't leave me again."

Looking back at her mother who was wearing her trademark knowing smirk she smiled, thankful for once that her mother was a know-it-all.

Gently she pushed the hair back from Brittany's face feeling so very bad for having not been there for so long, "I won't. I'll stay right here okay?" when the blonde nodded she gave her a kiss on the top of the head, "I called your parents they. Faith said they would book a flight as soon as Richard could get a week off work." Another nod, but as she did so she squeezed Santana a little tighter.

"Do you need me to-" this time she was cut off by the sound of her mother softly clearing her throat, turning to look she saw the older woman giving her head a barely noticeable shake and Santana understood that to mean 'be silent'.

It was with that careful tutelage that Santana managed to not get kicked out again in the time it took for a goofy smile to take over her face from the relief of the epidural. From that moment on it was smooth sailing.

Brittany spoke blissfully of all her favorite moments in the Harry Potter movies before going on a rant about how Luna Lovegood wasn't weird just a good old fashioned stoner. The contrast to the person who had just been in the birthing room, and the passion with which she made her case, made Santana laugh a little. However after a while she began to wonder if their daughter had any plans of ever coming out, which was the thought that preceded the nurse coming in and checking the baby's progress to find it was time for the delivery. And then after all her impatience and excitement suddenly Santana was anything but ready because as always her brain flooded her with doubts at the last possible second. She panicked about everything from the baby having some sort of lifelong illness that neither of them were equipped to handle to the possibility of being such a horrible parent her child grew up to hate her. She even thought of the horrifying chance of losing the baby or Brittany during the birth or worse yet both. However that fear seemed unnecessary when Brittany was humming a jaunty tune in between requests to push.

Santana couldn't help but be a little worried that her wife was a little too care free, but then there was the sudden surprising cry of their baby. It made Brittany smile widely and Santana's mouth open in awe at the almost alien sight of her newborn daughter.

Television had led her to believe newborns were a bit more appealing and less… discolored but even so she knew from the moment she saw the squalling infant that she loved her as much as humanly possible. Santana was allowed to cut the umbilical cord and in a daze she held the baby for a brief moment before handing her to Brittany.

When the blonde took her and looked over the small bundle in her arms a bemused smile crossed over her face, "San, our baby's purple." She laughed.

Those words snapped Santana out of her trance and she couldn't help but grin widely as the nurse tried to explain that the baby's color would even out soon. Brittany took no notice of the woman and turned to her wife thought the brunette already knew what she was going to say.

"Let's name her Purple."

Santana couldn't control the laugh that fell from her lips as she leaned over and kissed Brittany softly, "What about Violet?"

Brittany frowned, "Violet's are blue, it says so in the poem."

"No the poem just says that to make it easier to rhyme, I promise it's a shade of purple." Santana said knowing her well enough to know this naming discussion would be happening with or without the drugs.

She seemed to consider this for a moment and nodded, "That sounds nice too. She can be Violet." Looking the baby over one more time she turned back to Santana with that same dubious look, "You're sure it means purple?"

Laughing fully she kissed Brittany again, "I'm sure."

Pure excitement followed the birth, congratulations were received and her mother was beside herself at the sight of her first grandchild. There were kisses and hugs going around and she felt like she had taken a million pictures of Violet and sent them to countless people. When the normal morning hours came Mike and Jamie came to visit as well as a few of Brittany's closer friends from the studio and Santana showed her daughter off to anyone who would stand still long enough for her to. Long after Brittany had fallen back to sleep she continued to celebrate the birth of her daughter and the completion of another major step towards her idea of a perfect life.

That evening when everything had died down she was finally able to sit and rest, albeit with help from Puck and Quinn who were kind enough to handle canceling her work related obligations for the day. Though instead of returning to Brittany's room to join her in the land of sleep, she went to the nursery to be alone with her daughter for the first time that day.

When she had the baby in her arms in the quiet of the hospital she was able to feel how much her life had changed. Holding her was nothing like holding Joseph, it was _totally_ different. Looking into Violet's shimmering blue eyes she understood that her heart didn't belong to her anymore. She had learned that she had boundless love to give but now it seemed that none of it was truly for herself. Her life was about Brittany, it was about their marriage and their baby and any upcoming children.

She sat in one of the soft cushioned seats set out for parents and watched in awe as a small hand weakly gripped her finger. Santana chuckled as she realized that even though Violet's pinky was less than an inch long she was totally wrapped around it, there was nothing she wouldn't give to make this child happy. The thought was frightening but at the same time it didn't bother her at all, it was just a little weird to feel her heart beating in her chest and knowing that the thing was just on loan.

Besides her initial discomfort of being brought into the world Violet had been a model infant and quietly allowed Santana's observation before drifting to sleep. Watching her, Santana couldn't quite figure out how after Joseph and having raised her children in Ohio she was still blindsided by this change to her life. Like the wedding, having this child was on a whole new level in her own world and if there had even been a snowball's chance in hell of her bailing out before, which their hadn't, it was an utter impossibility now.

Carla found her and approached announcing herself by smoothing Santana's hair lovingly, "She's beautiful." She said and though she had said it before it still made Santana smile.

"Yeah." After a moment of silence she looked up to her mother, "What do I do now?" like when Brittany had gone into labor she again suddenly didn't know what her next step should be even though she was sure it was obvious.

The question seemed vague to the point of being absurd but Carla understood her meaning, "There is no guide for this sort of thing and every child is different, but I can tell you this, love and patience are your best guides. Especially when she hits two." She added with a laugh.

"This is amazing and really scary at the same time." Santana said quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping infant.

"You worry too much Santana. You will be a wonderful mother and anything you don't excel at as a parent Brittany will have covered because you two are an amazing team. Between you and her Violet is in the best possible care."

The thought of her wife gave her strength, she wasn't alone, Brittany was her safety net in this.

"You're right."

"I know."

"Teach me your secrets." Santana laughed.

"No need. They all come with the parenting package and are taught one day at a time." Carla replied giving her daughter a meaningful look, "On your quest to the height of motherhood you will make some mistakes, but don't panic. I made more than I would care to count and my baby grew up into a magnificent woman."

"I don't know about all that, I'm less than the ideal."

Her mother sat on the arm of the chair and peered down at her grandchild, "It will always be your wish that your children do better than you. But take it from someone who married for all the wrong reasons and had a baby in the hopes it would mend something that had never been whole; you could have done worse."

"For the record I think you're a great mom. You know… when you aren't making me beg for my wedding dress."

"I am pretty great, though I am aware I should have paid more attention to my daughter and her 'best friend' spending uncharacteristically quiet hours locked up in her room, but it all worked out for the best."

"At least we were quiet." Santana chuckled.

Somewhere in the hospital a door slammed and at the sound Violet stirred and she stroked the baby's hair until she fell back into a calm sleep. Santana grinned at her daughter's instant response to her touch and knew that her little girl would grow up with all the love in the world and a bedroom door that would seem unable to close, complete with a chronically broken lock.

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><p>Upon returning home Santana found that being a new parent was a totally different deal outside the hospital. After the first month she couldn't remember a life without diapers and midnight feedings and after two she wondered if everything before Violet had been a delusional dream because everything she did was wrapped up in her daughter. Even when she took business calls or hosted phone conferences the child was in her arms or nearby in her carrier.<p>

Brittany was the perfect parent that Santana had always known she'd be, they spent their days together juggling the baby between them when they were busy and stopping to sit and be a family when they weren't. Faith and Richard came to visit their granddaughter and though both of them were clearly totally enamored with the girl it was clear that Richard wasn't any more impressed with Santana than he had been since the wedding.

Puck and Quinn came by more frequently and Santana felt the tranquility associated with everything finally coming together as it should.

It was on the very day that Violet turned six months old that Hailey managed to make her way to Florida to visit her niece. They had been in contact with her constantly, her and Santana especially since the brunette took nonstop photos of Violet and Hailey asked for daily updates.

When Brittany had finally returned home with her from the airport Hailey made a beeline for Santana and Violet.

"Oh my god she's even more adorable in person!" she exclaimed trying to keep her voice quiet. Violet became aware of the disturbance and looked in the direction of her aunt, "Can I hold her?" she asked almost bouncing.

Santana smiled at her exuberance and handed the girl over carefully, "Hi to you too by the way." She said jokingly.

"Sorry, hi Santana." She said earnestly.

"How is school going?" she asked, deciding to be productive while her arms weren't full she started to clear away the mess that had accumulated around her while feeding and playing with Violet.

"Pretty good. My grades are up and my professors love me so I think all's well."

"Got anyone back home waiting for you?" Brittany asked teasingly as she joined them in the kitchen and sat at the table.

Hailey flushed for a moment, "No, I've just been focusing on my studies."

"Really? There's no one?"

"Uh, there is this one guy who keeps following me around but he's architecture major who likes to make blueprints of _Saw_ style death rooms so I think it's in my best interest to stay clear."

"I have to agree on that one." Santana said.

"Forget about my shit-"

"Hailey!" Brittany snapped.

"Sorry, my stuff." She corrected swiftly, "What's up with you guys?"

Santana shrugged, "Nothing much, work, baby and Brittany but not necessarily in that order."

"I'm planning to go back to work in a couple of months." Brittany offered, "I'm pretty much back in shape and Quinn had a bunch of creams that kept me stretch mark free so I'm basically back to my pre-baby body, I just need to do some strength training."

"I don't know about that…" Santana mumbled.

"So soon? I thought you guys were going to have more kids?" Hailey asked, surprised.

"We plan to but unless Santana has the next one I'm done for a while." Brittany replied with a light smile.

Hailey's eyes immediately found her sister-in-law's, "Are you going to?" she asked looking almost hopeful.

Stunned into silence by the turn of the conversation she didn't answer for a while, "Uh, I don't think so."

"Oh. So then your kids will be several years apart then?" she said looking down at Violet with slightly sad eyes.

Frowning Santana asked, "Why is that bad?"

"It isn't, but Brittany was in high school when I was nine." She turned to Brittany who was paying rapt attention, "It was never a problem really and you were always the best big sister I could have ever hoped for but by the time I was old enough to need her around for all the big stuff she was here and I was in Ohio." Looking back down at Violet she shrugged, "I don't know I'm not saying we aren't close or that I regret what we had but I did wish I would have been a little closer in age."

Santana saw how that could be, but there were plenty of children who were separated from siblings by a decade or more and they had solid relationships. What was it Hailey wished she could do with Brittany that she couldn't being several years younger?

She didn't know and wasn't going to pry by asking but then an errant thought hit her, she did recall Ella being rather estranged from Violet and Brittany due to her inability to connect with the two. She had personally worked to see that they all were able to understand each other, however that was a problem that was likely to be ten times worse if she were four or five years younger than her sister. She doubted that they wouldn't get along or anything so extreme but it would change their relationship. And she couldn't say she really liked the idea of Ella and Violet being a generation apart.

Which put her in the position of making the incredibly selfish request of asking Brittany to take off work again soon to have another baby, and if she even halfway hoped to have the same child she would further have to convince her to do it with her egg. That prospect didn't sound right no matter how she put it. The other option was having the baby herself.

_That_ thought had her back to thinking that they would be fine a few years apart. Furthermore she had already decided that she was fine with their lives however they played out. But even as the words crossed her mind she glanced at her bracelet still hanging there after so long and suddenly she realized Violet aside _she_ didn't want to wait to see Ella.

It was entirely possible that the child they had now may turn out to be nothing like the Violet from Ohio despite the name, and even if they were similar there was no guarantee that Ella would be as well, but she had a feeling that it was destiny for her to raise that girl. And she wanted to as soon as possible, she wanted her and Violet to grow up together, not just because that was how it happened in Ohio, but because she wanted them to be here with her now.

She didn't relish the idea of being pregnant and if anything Brittany's experience had made her more afraid but when she gave it serious thought, she knew she would gladly brave it all to have her other daughter with her now.

"Actually Hailey I think I'll have our next one." Santana said abruptly.

Her introspection had allowed the conversation between Hailey and Brittany to move on so when they heard her they both needed a moment to work out what she meant. When they did Hailey beamed at her and Brittany looked plain shocked.

"Our next child? You want to have our next child?" Brittany clarified.

Scratching her neck she ran through her feelings on the subject once again and nodded, "Yeah, I do."

She had barely gotten those words out when Brittany had her out of her chair and in her arms in an engulfing hug, "Ohmigod I'm so happy! We need to get you to the doctor right away!"

Hearing that Santana scrambled away, "Whoa slow down, I don't want to do it today or anything, maybe we can start trying in a few months since it'll be a while before it takes."

Brittany heard her but was clearly excited beyond caring when it happened as long as it did, "Hailey needs to come by more often." She laughed before kissing Santana deeply.

Hailey snorted, "You must mean I need to go home and come back later when you're done."

"Not with my baby you don't." Brittany said with a fake glare at her sister.

"Bah you can spare one now." She joked.

Santana listened to their banter and smiled although she was feeling slight trepidation at where her life was heading. Whatever she was feeling, she knew for sure that though she would never stop treasuring the bracelet she had been given, but she was ready to have Ella with her rather than a reminder of her. Even if it meant totally wrecking her figure, with a brief internal sigh she decided that if exercise and diet couldn't help restore her previous form there was always plastic surgery.

* * *

><p>AN:In case it isn't obvious (cause I want it to be but don't know how successful I was) Hailey mainly wished she were closer in age to Brittany so she could have had a chance with Santana.

It was brought to my attention that I might have made a grievous error in assuming people know that the Northern Lights are called Aurora Borealis. If you didn't know that the name came totally out of left field, my bad. This is the connection Brittany was making.

These events were always the reason Violet was almost called Purple. And for a while this information was in the original Glimpse story but it was introduced at the same time Puck was telling Santana the story of her life and it was just unnecessary information that didn't really fit elsewhere so it was cut.

Reviews are always appreciated :)


	22. When it Rains it Storms

**When it Rains it Storms**

* * *

><p>Pregnancy was nothing like Santana had expected. It started with the actual conception, which she had expected to take several months to a year; the insemination worked the first time. Which of course totally threw all the plans she had made for upcoming months but she coped. Next was the actual feeling of it which she sort of thought might be obvious and alien, but realistically she didn't feel a thing. In later months when the baby began to stir she expected a maternal instinct to kick in and make her coo over the stirrings inside her like she had when the baby <em>hadn't<em> been inside her, but instead it was just something else she had to get used to. And though with time she was able to calm down, her overall dislike of pregnancy didn't go away. The only thing that made it manageable was the thought of seeing Ella again, that made everything worth it, but not enjoyable.

She had also expected, at the very least, to be able to return some of that hormonal craziness to Brittany, but even that didn't go as planned. Being pregnant didn't make her irrationally angry, it oddly put her unpredictably between happy and very sad, like drunk sad, complete with tears and sobbing hiccups. And anything could set it off; a mildly sad news story, hearing about someone's bad day, a chipped nail. Sometimes there was absolutely no discernible reason, it wasn't a frequent occurrence, but when it happened it was an ordeal. Surprisingly it failed to have the same impact on Brittany as Brittany's anger had on her.

It was pretty infuriating for Santana to learn that even pregnant she was still just as whipped as always. Because whenever she cried Brittany would begin to panic in an effort to cheer her up, resorting to anything from comforting words to sock puppet shows. If everything failed, the look of forlorn anxiety was so intense Santana would pull herself together just to make her smile again.

She couldn't even have a proper hormone swing because Brittany owned her ass.

There was that and the fact that having one around other people was dangerous. For them. It was Brittany's understanding that stress was bad for Santana and the baby and she would have _none_ of that.

When they were out and about Violet was usually in Brittany's care meaning she wasn't necessarily paying attention to the goings on in the area. So if Santana spoke to someone and tears began, Brittany would morph out of nowhere ready to pass Violet over and make short work of the offender. That would usually result in Santana sucking up her tears to prove it wasn't that serious to keep her wife from going ballistic on an unsuspecting store clerk.

This led to another problem, Quinn, in a move that shocked everyone but Santana, found she was pregnant again about three months after Santana did. It had all been fun and games at first, before the mood swings and the tears, she had poked lighthearted fun at the other blonde claiming she had sympathy pregnancy and Quinn would quip back accordingly in their usual lighthearted manner. But when hormone time hit, Quinn's retorts had more bite and Santana became more sensitive. The first time Quinn made Santana cry it had gone poorly. Brittany seemed torn about laying into a friend who was also pregnant but when Quinn refused to apologize the situation started to get a little out of control until Puck intervened. After that Puck gave Brittany the well earned title of Mama Bear and made a point to keep their women separated whenever possible and when they were together both were under close supervision.

Though the pregnancy wasn't an experience she was looking to repeat, it wasn't all bad. Brittany had her demands when she carried Violet and Santana had hers now, the first of which was the pre-discussion of names. She suggested Ella for a girl, thinking that if this child wasn't the same then she would name her in the other girl's honor, and Zeus for a boy. It had been Brittany's idea. Only the fact that she was sure the baby was a girl made her not protest it. The second demand was the reinstatement of sex during pregnancy. Her wife had been reluctant, as she wasn't totally convinced Violet hadn't heard anything during their only, albeit lengthy, tryst but Santana had _insisted_. And it was quite amusing to find that, for all her protesting, Brittany was usually the one to initiate it.

By the ninth month Santana was at the height of sensitivity making Brittany more defensive than ever. Though she had never witnessed it she was told that all visitors were warned that making her cry was a ticket to immediate eviction from their home.

Which was probably why as she sat leaning back on Brittany on the couch with Violet sleeping on her chest, Puck was there without Quinn. Maybe it was because he had just stopped by to pick up a few toys that Joseph had left behind or, given how Brittany had reacted after that first incident, she had requested to stay home.

He scoped out their house trying to find any unseen remaining artifacts and noticed the large meal prepared in the kitchen, "You guys throwing some sort of party? If so I am wounded that I wasn't invited." he said locating a sippy cup under the kitchen table.

"No my family is coming, their plane landed a little while ago."

"Really? Can't be bothered to go get them." He joked.

"They're taking a cab, I'm not leaving Santana alone." Brittany said seriously.

"No I get it, Q still has a few more months but I still have to get going, I don't want to leave her and little man alone too long."

Santana had no idea why, but all of a sudden she couldn't stop thinking about the Pierce's having to fly all the way from Ohio to be met by nothing but a surly cabbie. Surely they could have picked them up in Brittany's car. And though she was aware taking a cab from the airport was a totally normal thing to want to do it was still making her want to cry.

"I could have gone with you, we should have picked them up in your car at least." She meant it to be a suggestion but it came out as a desperate plea and she winced.

_Oh no._ She thought, knowing this was going to be one of those things.

"Honey we can't all fit, Hailey's with them."

"Hailey? Doesn't she have class? She's missing school for this? I'm not even due for another two weeks."

_It's fine. Hailey has top-notch grades and will ace any makeup work she has to do, I'm sure she didn't leave her schooling in disarray before leaving. Besides the baby will be here soon, and Hailey only has classes four out of seven days._ Said the rational part of her mind that no other part of her was listening to.

Brittany began to understand that things were starting to go South, unfortunately Puck didn't.

"Hailey cleared this trip with her professors, I promise. Everything's fine and I'm sure they're already on their way." Brittany said soothingly.

"It's not even the ride that's a big deal, it'll cost a pretty penny though and traffic is a bitch right now." Puck added thoughtfully.

She turned to Brittany with what she knew had to be a heartbreaking face, "Richard is going to hate me forever for this." She whimpered, vaguely she was aware that crying over this was stupid, but it was getting harder and harder to recall why.

"What, more than he already does?" Puck chuckled.

The worst part of bad Puck jokes was that he only ever realized that they were bad _after_ he said them.

"And I had made so much progress." Santana said.

She meant for that to come out level, but her body decided to spice up the delivery by adding some more tears and a bit of blubbering at the end. Brittany's look to the man was ice cold.

"Joke! It was a joke the man doesn't hate you! It's minor distaste at worst." Puck tried to amend.

"You know that's not true!" Santana cried, it was frustrating since there was still that lonely unheard part of her that knew she was being totally silly.

The hurt in her voice and the upgrade from sniveling to actual crying put Brittany in the position of trying to decide whether she wanted to strangle Puck or console Santana. The commotion led to Violet waking up and seeing her mother in such a state made the infant immediately join her in her hysterics.

That was the deciding factor and the glare Brittany sent Puck went from intense to legendary.

He threw his hands up in self-defense, "Calm down Mama Bear! Santana, he wouldn't even come at all if he hated you! It was a joke, a really bad joke!" he called to her over the sound of her and Violet's combined cries.

His words managed to stem the flow of tears and when Brittany took Violet and rocked her gently she quieted as well, "You're right." Santana said sniffling.

"Um, yeah so I better go." He said swiftly, the blonde's glare seeing him to the door.

"Everything's fine now go back to sleep." Brittany whispered softly to Violet who seemed all to eager to comply.

Handing the baby back, Brittany pulled Santana back into their previous position letting her wife feel the comfort of being surrounded by her family.

Once the room had settled back into silence save for the television that was chattering unnoticed in the background did Santana speak.

"Britt?" Santana said tentatively not knowing how best to broach the subject that was now on her mind.

"Yeah?"

"Look this baby thing has me acting sort of insane and Puck was right, Richard isn't exactly fond of me. We both know your dad is a sensitive situation for me on a normal day so please don't come down hard on him if something happens."

Brittany shrugged, "Okay."

Santana did _not_ like how quickly she gave in to that request, "Seriously, when they get here not one word about making me cry, if it happens it happens I'll get over it."

She nodded and now Santana felt the need to see her eyes to try and detect a lie in them but all she saw was a blank innocence.

"I promise."

A slow frown clouded Santana's features, "Really?"

"Really." Brittany echoed.

"And you aren't just saying that?"

"Never." She said sincerely before give Santana a swift kiss.

The smaller woman allowed her wife to settle her back in place and nuzzle comfortably in her hair as she turned her attention to the television. Santana was nowhere near convinced, after all this was coming from the woman who almost got a waiter fired from a diner for making her sniffle. She had been on edge about her parents since before their children and now she was suddenly fine? It didn't add up. But she was already shaking her head at the television swearing they would never be the kind of parents who ended up with kids like the ones on _Toddlers in Tiaras_.

Santana went with the program and relaxed settling in to watch TV. Violet would wake periodically to tug at her earlobe, which would earn her a loving kiss, and fall back asleep. Eventually the Pierces arrived waking the sleeping baby enough to remind her she was hungry and the tears began. Brittany swept the girl up to feed her and Hailey gave Santana a brief hug before following leaving her alone with Richard and Faith. Which, in her opinion, was even weirder than her earlier compliance. She seemed totally unconcerned about leaving her parents, or more specifically Richard alone with her.

Deciding not to fault her for doing exactly as she was asked Santana sat up and greeted her in-laws happily. Faith spoke contentedly about their trip and how things were back in Ohio, she went on to talk excitedly about Hailey's grades and her various awards and accomplishments. Santana listened eagerly until Brittany called for Faith leaving her totally alone with Richard.

It was then that she noticed how nervous the man was, as a mater of fact it was fearful bordering on terrified.

She gave him a questioning look and asked what was wrong but he just waved the question away and asked about the baby. He listened to her every word but like a hostage might listen to their captor. When everyone finally returned Hailey was feeding Violet and Brittany and Faith had brought drinks for all.

Their evening went by well enough, though Richard kept looking like there was an assassin in the room waiting for him. Night fell seeing Hailey and Brittany putting Violet to sleep, Faith watched smiling from the doorway leaving Richard to help her into the kitchen for dinner.

While pregnant she had been helped by many people ranging from over protective; Brittany, to unintentionally clumsy, but well meaning; Puck, and all the lukewarm polite assistance in the middle offered by clients or investors at meetings back when she had still gone to them.

Richard was a whole different class, she would have asked him not to treat her like she were made of glass, but he wasn't. He was treating her like she had brittle bone disease and was trying to sprint down a mountain. He hovered around her to the point that it was suffocating even over the short distance and she told him so causing him to immediately back off.

To his total misfortune that was when the other women in the family returned to see Richard standing off to the side leaving Santana making her way to her chair unassisted. Brittany looked at him with hard eyes and even Faith and Hailey seemed disgusted with him.

"You won't even help her to her seat?" Brittany asked incredulously while pulling Santana's chair out for her.

"Wow dad, that's seriously cold." Hailey said, and Faith just shook her head.

Richard's face turned an impressive shade of red, "I did! She said she didn't want any help."

Santana jumped in to offer her support, "It's okay Britt I told him to hang back."

Her expression softened and she gave Santana a small kiss clearly dropping the subject because she was asked and not because she actually believed any of it. Santana spent almost all her time nowadays trying to convince Brittany of other's innocence so they wouldn't learn why Puck exclusively referred to her as Mama Bear and not something gentler like Mama Duck.

"Is Carla coming into town?" Hailey asked.

"Next week I think." Brittany said, "Oh that reminds me, Hailey do you think you could go pick her up so she won't have to take a cab?"

"What no chauffeur for us-" Hailey's retort was cut short by Brittany's glare alone and luckily Santana missed the comment.

To change the subject Faith mentioned Richard's most recent work endeavors since her husband seemed incapable of speech. While she spoke Santana leaned discreetly over to Hailey, or as discreetly as she could given her current size.

"What's with your dad?"

Hailey raised an eyebrow then glanced quickly at Brittany who seemed engrossed in conversation, "I would have thought she told you." When Santana shook her head she continued, "When mom called to say they were coming Britt pretty much promised that if dad was even a little mean to you she would not only kick him out of the house but he wouldn't be allowed to come back ever. She doesn't want him to stress you plus she wants to put a total stop to his behavior as of right now. Britt doesn't want your kids growing up seeing his attitude towards you."

_No wonder he's terrified._ She thought and suddenly she felt even worse for telling him to back off earlier, but stopped that line of thinking as she realized getting emotional over it would not help him. It definitely explained why she had agreed to leave them alone, she had already made her threats.

Santana sat up and looked over at Richard who was shuffling his food around aimlessly on his plate. She still wanted him to like her but on his own terms, and though there had been a time in her youth when she would have substituted fear for love or respect this wasn't that time. But while she resented the threats, she understood Brittany's motive. Had the situation been reversed she probably wouldn't have even let him come at all for fear that he might make some truly heinous comment, even by accident.

"Best behavior or bust." Hailey said with a small smile.

"I'm surprised he didn't make you guys stay at a hotel."

"He did try but mom said if she couldn't spend extra time with her granddaughter because of his attitude then he was going to be in deep shit with her."

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Brittany asked.

Hailey looked a little panicked before she whispered, "I didn't say anything." and leaned back in her seat, "Nothing we were just discussing the trip down."

"How was it, by the way?"

"Better than the road trips we used to take in the da- er stupid Suburban, he still drives that thing by the way. Drove it right up to my dorm room from Ohio. I was mortified."

Brittany chuckled, "How did that go? It was old when I was little."

"It overheated once." He said shrugging.

"Seven times." Faith corrected.

"It's a classic."

"It's old."

"I keep it in excellent shape, I have personally replaced every broken part. The car may be old but most everything under the hood is new. And yes it is time for the radiator to be replaced, but it is still good."

"There are newer Suburban's, did you know some have heated seats and cameras that show you that it's safe to back out." Faith argued hotly.

He looked indignant, "I would think you would be more sentimental to that vehicle since it was where one Richard Pierce got his first kiss from his future wife. It also happens to be where-"

"Stop!" Hailey interrupted, "Stop talking or I might throw up."

Brittany grinned slightly and turned to Santana, "I wish you had kept your Cadillac."

Santana smiled back recalling everything that had happened in or around that car, "Me too."

"For the sanity of your kids I'm glad you didn't." Hailey huffed.

Santana took a sip of the mineral water that she had been grudgingly drinking as of late, of course during _her_ pregnancy Brittany wants to be a nutrition expert so her beloved coffee was out the door, "We have new memories in our new cars."

Hailey sputtered, "You are aware my parents are like right there."

"You know it is possible to make memories of the non sexual kind." Faith chided.

Hailey flushed at that, but Brittany frowned and asked Santana, "Those were the kind you were talking about right?"

"Yep." Santana admitted.

"Same." Added Richard before the sound of Hailey's cutlery clattering to her plate made them have mercy and change the topic again.

Everyone ate, talked and laughed well into the night, everyone but Richard who seemed about to pass out with the effort of minding every word that was aimed at his daughter in law. When bedtime came Brittany assisted Santana to bed and then proceeded to set her family up in the guest rooms.

That morning had been bright and sunny. The next and every day after was cloudy and grey. Santana thought that it might be a sign of some sort, but it was also Florida in the middle of hurricane season so maybe it was just that… maybe.

* * *

><p>The first few days with Richard were awkward to say the absolute least, then he broke a lava lamp that Brittany had bought Santana for her birthday making her inconsolable. From that moment on Richard was a ghost. Everyone had seen the break was a total accident but Brittany was still infinitely irate that Santana cried herself to sleep. It was only at the threat of more crying that her family wasn't banished to the nearest hotel.<p>

Richard steered as clear of Santana and any room she was in as much as possible, when they were together and he did speak it was in the shortest manageable sentences and his eyes never met hers. It upset her but she doggedly refused to cry about that one thing because she knew full well Brittany would kick him out if he was making her upset and he honestly was trying his best not to.

With the in-laws staying for an unspecified amount of time it wasn't long before there were plans made to go out to dinner. Once Carla got in town it was upgraded to an entire day of sight seeing and festivities planned around visiting the Keys that everyone else was incredibly excited about. Santana could understand her mother and the Pierces since they rarely got to sight see in their other limited visits, but Brittany was a bit of bafflement. She seemed more excited than everyone else yet she not only lived in Florida, Santana had taken to most of the preplanned destinations back when they were still dating. She was aware that it was mostly about being able to spend time with Carla and her family while letting them all bond with Violet, but the only other day the blonde was this excited for was Christmas.

Her excitement was why it worried Santana that her back started paining her the day before the big outing. From the moment she woke up her lower back had a dull throb and by the end of the day she was in bed by six just to get relief stating that she was merely tired. It wasn't the first time her back had hurt but the pain was more consistent and not readily relieved by sitting in the love seat in the living room, which up until that point had been her go to comfort chair.

When she woke up on the day of, she knew that things were not going to be in her favor since it was in fact the back pain that woke her. Getting up she saw the sky was grey and it was raining as it had been for the past week, though that morning everything seemed a little more dour.

Groaning with effort she made her way downstairs, sat in her no longer comforting love seat and checked the television to find the hurricane that had been hovering around the coast for the past day was finally sweeping back off into the ocean to die leaving Miami wet but no worse for wear. Hailey was the next person awake in the house and joined her in the living room flopping sleepily in the seat across from her.

"Looks like shi-" quickly she cut herself off and checked to see that she was indeed alone with Santana, "Looks like shit outside."

"There is a hurricane, but it's far off the coast and it's swooping right past us. The rain is just residual, but don't worry about the trip, the storm has already passed the Keys."

"Cool though I was hoping it would die down, I really wanted to visit Vizcaya."

That worked for Santana since she didn't like the idea of trekking around their gardens with her back feeling like she had wedged a well sharpened knife in between the vertebrae, "Well there is still time, the hurricane should be totally gone in about two days."

"That's true. I told my boyfriend about the trip, but he thinks me coming to Florida during hurricane season seems pretty fucking stupid."

Santana's ears perked, "Boyfriend?"

Seeming to only just then realize what she said she blushed and ducked her head, "Well only for a few months."

"And why am I only just now hearing about him?" Santana asked grinning.

"Because nobody really knows. After Brittany, my dad has this thing about people I date…" Unlike Puck Hailey could sense the shift her words were causing inside Santana, "It's not a big deal, his name's Damien, he's an art major like me."

"That was also the name of the kid from The Omen, this isn't the same dude with the Saw style creeper vibe going on is it?"

She chuckled, "No different guy entirely, though the other guy does still lurk in the shadows."

"Keep both eyes on him." Santana said thinking briefly of her own ex-stalker.

"Will do."

Their conversation was cut as Violet's cries rang through the house; the sound had everyone up and bustling almost instantly. In minutes the house was alive with the sound of breakfast being cooked and Brittany and Faith packing for a day out. Richard eventually made his way into the room lurking stiffly by the door making everything way more uncomfortable than it had to be. Santana offered him a seat that he took all while looking even stiffer.

The definitive plus to having family in the house was that neither she nor Brittany had to worry about Violet. Between the others their daughter had her every need met every second of the day complete with constant praise and pampering. Santana thought that without having to do anything in the morning besides sit and wait to be summoned to one of the cars her back might calm. But as she sat the pain only got worse and when she went to the bathroom she realized on the return to her seat that there was no way she could travel.

Their unborn child was declaring this a stay at home day, however Brittany was still elated over the trip even though the weather was putting a damper on things and Santana couldn't imagine taking it away from her. And that was exactly what her staying behind would be doing because Brittany would _not_ leave her alone at home.

She had an hour to sort out how to break the news and maybe figure a way to keep in touch with everyone while gone. However, when her wife returned from putting the last of Violet's things in the car she had only come up with the idea of casually saying 'Go on without me.' Brittany had just stared before putting her purse on the counter and announcing they weren't going.

Faith had walked in with Violet in her arms dressed in an adorable yellow child sized raincoat and hat that the infant kept trying to pull off and put in her mouth.

"We're canceling? Why?"

"Santana's back hurts." Brittany said, knowing exactly what was causing the trouble.

"Britt can we please, _please_ not call off the whole thing? I know you want to go and this is a rare opportunity so just go. I have my phone and if the baby so much as kicks I'll call _and_ text."

"San I'm not leaving you home alone, besides everyone else can go without _us_." Brittany said stubbornly.

She could feel desperation lacing her words before she even opened her mouth and she really hoped Brittany would relent because she did not feel like embarrassing herself again by bursting into random tears, "Baby everyone's been looking forward to this and I know you were the main one." She said with watery eyes and a doe eyed pout.

"I can stay with her." Carla offered with a shrug.

"No mom this whole trip was your idea. Come on the baby isn't due for almost two weeks, you can leave me for a few hours." She said wishing for once someone would listen and just let her stay home.

"What if I stayed?" Richard chimed.

The room fell silent, mostly from the others not noticing he had been standing at the back of the room.

Brittany frowned, "I don't think so."

"It's the best option. You know the way the best and we'd probably be lost without you so you're a better choice to go. I've been to my share of beaches in my time so I'm set, besides you know the sun and my skin don't exactly agree. So I'll stay if that's okay with you." He said turning to Santana.

There was absolutely no reason for him to lie to remain in her company and she did want Brittany to have at least one day to do fun things with the people she loved since she hardly saw them anymore. It really had been Faith, Hailey and Carla who were itching to get out and see the sights. True enough Richard was a major part of the family that Brittany would want to be with but he seemed rather neutral about going. Better him stay than keep everyone sitting at home watching her damn feet swell.

"If you really don't want to go…" she said slowly not knowing if that was the right answer.

Brittany fixed him with a scrutinizing look, "And you'll call me if _anything_ happens?"

"I swear." He said looking as serious as she had ever seen a person look.

Again his daughter watched him as if waiting for some tell that he planned to do anything less than a stellar job of watching her wife, "Alright, I guess. But keep your phone nearby." Brittany said pointing to Santana.

Thrilled to be getting her way the brunette nodded and fished her phone out of her pocket waving it dutifully, "It's charged and everything."

Turning to Richard swiftly she raised her eyebrows, "You too."

He pulled his phone out and showed it to her, "It won't leave my side and neither will Santana."

"Except to go to the bathroom." She interjected, she wasn't sure why she needed the specification but she was sure if she didn't throw this in now and Brittany found she was unaccompanied in a bathroom her wife would make everyone come home immediately.

"Except the bathroom." Richard chimed.

"But you have to check on her if she takes too long." Brittany clarified.

"She is an adult Britt." Hailey interjected, "She'll be fine."

Instead of responding to that she turned her gaze back to her father, "Let me get you the emergency number lists." She said gesturing for him to follow her to Santana's office.

It was another whole thirty minutes before the seemingly endless list of contacts and emergency contacts were gone over. And after each one, with the exception of 911, she made it clear that she was to be called first.

Hailey had to practically drag her sister out the door to get her into the car as she seemed to have an endless supply of goodbye kisses. And once she was out of the house Santana received four texts from her before they had even left the driveway.

But once they were gone, and there was a pause in the texting, she realized that Richard was sitting in the same place he had before everyone had woken and he looked just as uncomfortable now as he had then. Suddenly she missed the texts, it gave her something to do other than pretend that the tension in the room wasn't palpable. She turned off the television hoping boredom might prod him into saying something, and even attempting to start up a conversation led to one word answers that offered no escape. Santana was able to take out her phone and play Angry Birds with a clean conscious; she'd at least tried.

After an hour her comfy chair started to actually feel comfy and the texting started again once the others reached their destination. Everything from Richard's behavior and the state of her back to the temperature in the house was questioned, Santana quelled all her concerns even though her back was aching still and the room was a little chilly. All she wanted was for Brittany to have a good time.

Reassured the blonde began to text everything she saw and every move Violet made which weren't many since she had fallen asleep in the car. However soon the texts degraded into sexts and though it was enough to get Santana to actually forget the now dull throb in her back it was also horribly disconcerting to read the things her wife had written with her father sitting so close.

When it came down to Brittany undressing her and exploring her body with her mouth Santana decided her reading was best continued in the privacy of her room. However when she stood and made her way to the stairs Richard quietly followed.

Suspecting where this was going she turned to him determined to keep her voice neutral so as not to betray the state his daughter had put her in, "So, I'm going to my room to lie down, I'll be fine alone."

"Brittany told me to watch you." He said simply.

"Yeah I was there." She said not wanting to be short, but her phone had just chimed the arrival of a new text and she was eager to read it, "But honestly I only need sleep and I can't sleep with someone awake nearby." Not true, but a necessary lie.

He mulled this over, "I'll check in on you in an hour."

He walked back to the living room and she knew that was the best she was going get. Quickly she lay down and got as comfortable as possible before she opened her phone and read the next text, which to her surprise had nothing sexual in it at all only:

**Weather reports for Miami are changing. Says the hurricane is coming closer than expected, I'm coming home. -Britt-Britt**

Santana sighed, it was no surprise she was following the storms progress. Squirming to get comfortable she called her phone directly, Brittany answered on the first ring.

"No. Stay put. I'm fine I promise, the weather is bad but nothing exceptional and if it was I wouldn't want you in a car with Violet and both our families to try and get in it."

"But-"

"Your dad's here and we're fine. It may be coming closer, but not by a lot, it seems like the rain hasn't really picked up. But if it bugs you that much we'll get in the car and meet you down there."

"It would make me feel a lot better. How are you feeling?"

"Better, a little extra rest did it. I should be okay to travel." That was another lie told in under five minutes, but she didn't want Brittany returning if things were really getting that bad.

"You have the address to the cafe on the refrigerator but I'll text it again anyway. It shouldn't take you more than an hour and a half to get here. I will be waiting and I want updates."

"Yes ma'am." Santana laughed.

"I love you and I want a call in ten minutes telling me you're on a road leading out of Miami."

"Love you too." she said before Brittany hung up.

She spent a few minutes thinking what a worry wart her wife had become when the sky flashed and the sound of thunder exploded in her ear right before all the lights went out. The only illumination came from her window and it showed her the angriest sky she had ever seen in her life.

"Santana!" Richard called up.

"I'm fine!" she called back.

She could hear him dashing up the stairs none-the-less and soon he came through her door, barely visible in the low light.

"Power's out all over." He said as he entered.

"It's way closer than I thought." she said glancing at the ever darkening sky, "Brittany just told us to get down to the Keys with her but with the power out I don't think that's going to happen."

He shook his head, "Not in this weather, it's too late for driving as a matter of fact the windows should be boarded up." Pausing he looked outside then turned back to her ,"I want you downstairs and away from windows. Now."

She agreed and stood but apparently her trip up the stairs and into bed was the last her body could handle, standing again made her back hurt bad enough to make her worry if something else wasn't wrong.

"I can't." she whimpered through gritted teeth.

Understanding, Richard took her in his arms like she weighed no more than a stuffed animal and carried her down the stairs. Quickly he navigated them through the darkness bringing her into the downstairs bathroom. Carefully he placed her onto the toilet seat and pulled out his phone, the light from the device lighting up the otherwise pitch black room, and pressed a speed dial key before putting to his ear.

Confusion crossed his face as he pulled it away and looked around, "Is it usual to get no signal in here?"

Santana looked at her phone, which had remained clutched in her hand the entire time, it was showing the same results.

"No. Either the towers are down or the storm is screwing with it. That is definitely not a good sign."

"I'm going to check the land lines." he said stepping out of the bathroom, closing the door securely behind him as though something might slip in if he didn't.

Santana sat in the total darkness breathing through her mouth as her back hammered on, the pain now at a fever pitch since the lid of the toilet seat would cause extreme discomfort even without the baby. Groaning, she lay her head on the counter wondering why now of all times did the baby want to try and kill her.

The storm raged and something that sounded like the universe's loudest drum roll made the house shake from the sheer noise of it. Santana had never been afraid of the dark but in that moment sitting on a toilet in a dark bathroom while her back felt like a cave troll was trying to massage it with a baseball bat, she was truly afraid.

Richard came back in closing the door again, she heard him shuffling around and seconds later the strike of a match illuminated their faces in a weak glow. He leaned forward and lit a few candles he had found. She thought about telling him that there was a flashlight in the hall closet, but she was afraid that he might leave again to get it and that idea made her freak out a little inside.

"Lines are totally dead. I think we're on our own until one of us gets a signal."

"Can you reach an emergency line?" she asked calmly.

In the low light she saw him take out his phone and dial, "No."

"That sucks because I'm feeling pretty shitty." She whimpered as she slid herself off the toilet hoping to get some relief on the soft rug covering the floor, but it served as a poor cushion and the hardness of the floor was unforgiving. Admittedly it was better than the convex covering of the toilet seat.

Moving to help her into her new seated position Richard eyed her critically, "How long have you been feeling this bad?"

"_This_ bad? Since this morning, but back pain isn't new given I haven't had to carry around weight like this since Lord Tubbington."

"But how long has it persisted?"

She sighed not really wanting to answer, "A while really, mainly all of yesterday, that was the worst. Until today of course."

"Why wouldn't you tell anyone?" he asked clearly exasperated.

Santana really did want Richard to love her, she wanted his approval more than she had ever wanted her own father's but at this moment his words and her pain were causing her to bristle.

"Maybe because it isn't news, I'm pregnant and my back has been hurting for months because I'm smuggling a bowling ball under my shirt!" she snapped.

"But if it's gotten worse than usual why didn't you tell Brittany?" Richard snapped back.

"I didn't want to ruin her day okay! She follows me around all the time and dedicates her every waking moment to making things as easy on me as possible and for once I wanted her to just go and enjoy herself! I didn't think it was that big a deal! Obviously if I thought it was going to feel like this later I would have asked to go to the doctor!"

"Shit!" he shouted standing.

"What is your problem?"

He tried to dial out on his phone again and when that failed he let it hang by his side, "Santana from what you are describing it sounds like you're in labor and have been for about a day or so."

She frowned up at him, "I said my back hurts." She repeated not understanding how he came to that conclusion.

"Contractions don't always feel like cramping pain."

"What the hell would you know about either?"

"Nothing personally, but Faith felt cramps with Brittany and when Hailey came she had back pains."

The fear she had felt before was back, "But my water hasn't broken." She almost pleaded.

"It doesn't have to for you to go into labor."

Santana felt a slight irritation at herself for not recalling that, granted it was all her fault, the endless flow of information she had been given when Brittany was pregnant flew out of her head when Violet was born. She had been using her wife's experiences as a guide for what to expect, she knew all births weren't the same but she had anticipated a little consistency.

"Well, what does that mean?"

Richard's brow furrowed and in the low light the move seemed extreme, "I could be wrong."

"And if you're not?"

"If this weather doesn't let up we're going to have to figure out how to deliver a baby in a bathroom."

If Santana hadn't been panicking before she was now, "Without an epidural?"

"Unless you're hiding it and a nurse who knows how to give one in the house somewhere."

"Can't you carry me to a hospital?" she asked in pure desperation.

"Can I carry a pregnant woman over five miles to a hospital in a hurricane? No."

Calming herself Santana took a deep breath and held it before letting the air out slowly, "Let's not go there. My water hasn't broken, my back isn't even hurting that badly anymore and besides all that the baby has been still for a while."

Richard looked unconvinced but he nodded anyway, "We still need to get you set up until this storm passes. Stay here." He said as if moving were an option.

Santana didn't get a chance to beg him to stay before he darted out into the blackness of the hall. The storm seemed to only get louder in his absence, but before long he returned with piles of pillows and sheets all stacked up under his arms. Richard then made the closest thing to a bed that could be created from cushions, blankets and a tub.

They remained in the bathroom for almost an hour in relative silence. Relative since the storm continued to rage louder and louder to the point where if one of them was making noise it would be hard to hear. In between frequent bathroom breaks that Richard would thankfully give her privacy for, Santana lay in the tub determinedly keeping her legs clenched tight trying to pretend the pain in her back wasn't becoming progressively worse. She divided her time between that and willing her baby to stay put at the very least until the power came on. Richard was checking his phone every five minutes until he reasoned that it would run the battery down for when they could actually use it.

About two hours into their bathroom stay Richard stepped back in after having poked his head out to give Santana privacy to do her business for what felt like the millionth time. She knew it wasn't exactly safe for him to leave, but she was thankful for the gesture. The storm raged on and the candles flickered low on their wicks, she was about to suggest the flashlight or the battery powered lantern on top of the refrigerator when every thought of the storm and their lack of lighting fled.

Santana gulped heavily before sharing her most recent discovery, "My water just broke."

Richard sighed resignedly, "I could try going for help?"

That thought didn't appeal but then again neither did giving birth in a tub full of pillows, "Has the rain let up at least?"

"Last time I checked it had gotten worse and I think something broke a window upstairs."

"Then stay. It would be worse if something happened to you trying to get help for me."

"At least with the storm I _might_ get hurt, if I don't at least try and get you help Brittany will do serious harm." He huffed.

"Right! Wouldn't want Brittany to get mad!" she yelled and she knew he didn't deserve it, but she was in the middle of a few terrifying firsts and all she wanted was to not feel like a burden.

He was taken aback by her outburst, "I didn't mean it like that."

"Didn't you? I know you don't like me Richard, let's not pretend otherwise right now. Brittany isn't here and I won't tell."

"I like you fine Santana."

"You're only here because of Brittany." She grumbled her anger now masking her hurt and fear.

He fell silent for a moment, "I don't blame you for thinking that. I haven't done a very good job of expressing my feelings."

"Yes you have. I understand, you love Brittany and Violet, you'll love this baby and you'll even like me but never trust me." She said, her words hurting her to hear even though she had always known them.

He cast her a confused glance as if to read how serious she was being, "Santana I trust you. I definitely didn't at first but you came back, married my daughter and started a family with her. You've made her happier then I've ever seen her in her whole life and that's saying something."

It was Santana's turn to look confused, "Then why do you act like I'm the same person I was back then?"

His gaze wandered before finding her again, "I didn't… I _don't_ know how to admit how wrong I was. Especially when it's coupled with the fact that my little girl has someone in her life that means more to her than me. It's selfish I know, but it's the truth."

Santana didn't know what to say and as she sat speechless he rubbed his eyes, "This storm isn't going anywhere anytime soon, but that baby is. I'm going to the kitchen for a few things and I'll be right back."

"There is a flashlight in the hall closet!" she called after him before the door closed.

He stopped and acknowledged her before he left, "Got it."

And then she was alone with the now acute pain that was making her vocalize her discomfort. It was then that there was a crash and a cry of alarm from Richard outside the door somewhere distant. The feeling that rolled through made her heart pound and the baby begin to fidget, apparently responding to her fear. She called out to him and received no answer and the horrifying thought that he could be dead crossed her mind just before the first real contraction ripped through her.

The only thought that she could hang onto during that moment was how desperately she wanted Brittany to return. It suddenly was the only thing in the world that mattered, but now she was an hour away waiting for a car that would never come. Though sometimes Santana had a hard time telling the difference she was pretty sure that the tears prickling at her eyes were completely justified and not a result of hormones.

Richard burst back in the door with a flashlight in his hand and a pillowcase stuffed full of various items.

"Got a first aid kit, lots of towels, a bunch of bottled water in case something happens with the faucet and some more candles because a flashlight can only do so much and I need my hands free. I have no idea how to do this so I got what I hope works."

"What happened out there?" she asked, unable to keep her voice from wavering.

"Uh, there is now a skylight in your kitchen." He said quickly as if it wasn't a big deal to try and soften the blow, "Anyway let's get you out of there because I can't help you if I can't fit."

Again he easily lifted her and arranged the pillows that were still dry beneath her before placing her on the floor. Santana allowed him to move as he pleased until his hands went to the hem of her pants, at that her own clamped around his wrist.

"W-what are you doing?" she sputtered, for a moment her pain and fear were replaced with shock.

"I know this is awkward but I can't deliver the baby through your pants."

Santana knew her face had lit up, "Uh I don't think-"

"I promise I wouldn't if I didn't have to." He said looking as uncomfortable as she did.

Resigning she removed her hand and allowed him to peel off her soiled pants and underwear, glad for the low light because she knew her face showed total mortification.

Richard squeezed her hand, "I'm going to see how we're doing okay?" he asked carefully.

Santana nodded because her lower body clenched again and she was beyond caring what in the hell he saw as long as the torture stopped. Taking the flashlight he lifted her shirt and stared for a moment before returning to her side, "I'm not sure what to look for besides crowning and that hasn't happened yet."

"What if the baby's stuck?" She groaned trying not to dwell on the possibility though in her head it was already being spread around as truth.

"I don't know. But everything will be fine."

"How do you know that? How can anyone know that? Why do people say shit like that?" she roared at him.

"Because I'm scared too and I don't know what else to say." He said softly.

"Fuck!" she screamed, at the storm, her body, Richard everything, the feeling drained she whimpered, "I want Brittany."

"Me too." He laughed humorlessly.

The storm made its presence known once more and the sound seemed to trigger another contraction. Santana tried to stay silent through it but that proved impossible and Richard could only hold her hand.

It seemed to go on forever, the storm, and the pain persisted for what felt like years and Santana found herself begging for even an Aspirin if it would just take the edge off, but Richard refused since he wasn't sure what the effect on the baby would be. Something between decades and hours passed in the dark and she began to push in the hopes it would get the baby out of her sooner, but it only served to wear her out as the pain only gained steam.

"Will you come out already!" she yelled pointlessly at the ceiling, "This is insane!"

Santana wanted to try and crawl away from her own body and subsequently the misery within, but she was stuck, pinned under it and the need to see her wife. It was all consuming and had taken over to the point were she felt like she might die if she didn't see her soon.

Lightning flashed bright enough to see it from under the door and thunder rumbled some time later at a softer volume leaving them to believe that it was passing.

Richard checked his phone again to see it still wasn't working and Santana eyed it longingly thinking that if she could just hear Brittany's voice it would be enough. She sobbed in desperation as she turned to Richard and held him. But after a few minutes she couldn't do that as the baby decided break time was over. The intensity of her pain made Richard check her progress and from the way his face blanched she didn't even need to ask if it was time.

"I think it's time for you to push."

Santana stubbornly shook her head, "I don't want to do this." She meant to say she didn't want to have the baby in the dark, on the floor without Brittany, but she couldn't get those words out.

"It's going to happen, you can't cross your legs and make it go away." He said coaxingly, "Just push when the contractions hit."

She had an angry lash out answer ready for him but then there was a loud crash from somewhere nearby.

Richard looked towards the door, "The storm seems to be passing but maybe I should get you back in the tub." He said preparing to lift her.

Just then the door burst open and something came in. It looked insane whatever it was, but then Richard turned the flashlight on the new arrival and Santana immediately recognized Brittany. Or she thought it was, it was possible the pain was making her hallucinate because the woman at the door was soaking wet, panting heavily and covered in copious amounts of grass and mud.

"Dad, what are you doing?" Brittany said slowly.

Dimly through everything Santana was able to realize that she was laid out on the floor naked from the waist down with Brittany's father between her legs holding a flashlight while they were surrounded by the candles they usually only broke out during sexytimes.

"Brittany?" Richard chimed back.

"Yes." She said staring at him, the mud and hair in her face making it impossible to read her expression, "What are you doing?"

"Baby's coming." Santana hissed her attention being refocused by another contraction.

"What happened to you?" Richard asked still lost as to how his daughter had gotten there or why she was such a mess.

He received no answer however because as soon as Santana had given her brief explanation Brittany leapt into the still partially pillow filled tub and washed herself off, clothes and all. Afterwards she jumped right out, knelt next to her father and examined the situation, when her face mirrored her father's exactly from mere moments before Santana wanted to laugh. And she decided maybe she would later when the world seemed like a kind place again.

"Santana we're going to have to do this here."

"Yeah came to that one on our own." She growled even though it was the hugest relief to actually have the woman there, even if she wasn't quite convinced this wasn't a pain-induced delusion.

Ignoring the comment Brittany moved behind Santana and cradled her upper back in her lap, "It'll help if you sit up a little. Dad do you have something ready to put the baby on?"

He nodded, "Stack of the softest towels I could find." He said patting the stack.

"Could you two trade places?" Santana panted, in the reprieve between waves of agony she felt modesty take over.

"Okay." Brittany said and started to move, but Santana locked her elbows preventing her movement.

"Don't leave me." She said suddenly afraid of the loss of contact.

"Honey you know as much as I want to I can't be on both ends of you at once even though it's been at the top of my Christmas list since forever."

There was a split second where Santana wasn't sure if she was more embarrassed or in pain but then another contraction hit her and the debate was settled.

"Brittany I am never doing this again! I hope you know this isn't an idle threat I never am signing up for this _ever_ again!" she shouted officially beyond caring who was where and what they saw or heard.

"I know." She chuckled, then leaning in her lips ghosted across Santana's ear as she said, "Just breath with me okay? Listen to my voice and breath. Don't do anything else."

She whimpered but complied and opted to listen to Brittany speak a sonnet of love in her ear while _also_ listening to herself chant 'Never Again' in an infinite stream.

Her memory of the delivery was vague, she did remember that the lights flickered back on for a brief second before they died again. She sort of remembered calling Richard something absolutely foul, but she couldn't recall what and at some point she _might_ have bitten Brittany's arm.

The only point where time moved normally again was when there was a sudden relief from their baby finally evacuating it's temporary home. Santana honestly wanted to pass out with relief, but she stuck around long enough to see the umbilical cord cut and for Richard to pass what he announced was a baby girl to her. Brittany helped her steady the child in her arms and in the dim light she could just make out familiar light brown hazel color that she remembered from what felt like a million years in the past.

"Hello Ella." Santana said weakly before exhaustion got the better of her.

* * *

><p>She knew the moment she closed her eyes she had just scared the crap out of Brittany, but she couldn't have kept them open another second.<p>

Consciousness came in brief spurts after that. Once when her eyes cracked open she was being pushed into an ambulance in front of their house, Brittany holding her hand firmly the whole time. However she was still quite tired so she allowed sleep to retake her and when her eyes opened again she was in a hospital room, her wife curled in a chair nearby looking haggard and tired, though it was clear that at some point she had taken a real shower and changed into dry clothes.

"Britt." She said, her voice hoarse from intense use then total abandonment.

Her eyes snapped open and a wide smile crossed her face as she looked Santana over, "Hey."

"How is she?"

"The prettiest thing in the nursery." Brittany said seriously.

Santana laughed, "You're biased."

"Oh definitely, but it's still true."

"Where's Violet?"

"With Carla… or maybe Hailey I don't remember who's turn it is." She said waving her hand.

"That reminds me, what happened to you?" she asked, "You showed up out of nowhere looking like the swamp thing."

"I felt like it after I got there." She looked thoughtful as she tried to recall the events, "Well when you didn't call I immediately got on the phone trying to call our neighbors who were out of town. Then I called Puck, but he said he had taken Quinn and Joseph to Tampa so he had no idea what was going on. Then I checked my weather app and it said the storm was dipping way closer to the coast than projected and that there would be some serious damage in some areas so I took the car and came to get you."

"How did you know we weren't on the road?"

"It had been an hour _after_ the ten minutes I gave you and you hadn't called. I would hope you know better." She said simply, "So I got as close to the city as I could but the roads were blocked off at our exit so I just got out and ran the rest of the way."

Santana's eyebrows went up, "You ran four miles in a hurricane?"

"Yup. Had to crawl over and under some busted stuff but I made it home, and I'm glad I did. I had a feeling not to leave you today and when I lost contact… I dunno I just knew I had to get back to you no matter what, then again I've always been a little Santana psychic."

She nodded grinning weakly and then another question came to her, "How did everyone else get home?"

Brittany looked a little shifty, "I called them a cab. Please don't cry, I paid for it."

For some reason that was the funniest thing in the world and she laughed whole-heartedly, "That must have cost a fortune!"

"It probably would have been cheaper to rent a car but whatever." Brittany chuckled seeing her mirth.

"Do you know what state the house is in?"

"Florida still."

Santana sighed good naturedly, "How did it look I mean. Richard said there was some damage."

"Oh that. Yeah a plank from somewhere got thrown through our roof and a few windows got busted out but besides the water that came in nothing got messed up."

"Also, speaking of Richard, ease up on him okay? He and I managed to come to an understanding and he really helped me keep it together even if it was to take my verbal abuse."

She nodded, "There was a _lot_ of that. But don't worry, he kept you and Ella safe when I couldn't. He already tried to apologize to me about helping you stay home, but he didn't know, none of us did. I'm glad you two made up though because he's great and I can't wait for our girls to get to know him. Plus he's the setup to the most eventful birth story any of our kids will have."

"That's for sure."

"Seriously things can't ever be that high stress during a pregnancy again. I honestly thought I was having a heart attack the whole time I was running through the storm."

Santana's eyes drifted around the room, "Okay but I meant it when I said this was the last time." She said hoping it wouldn't upset Brittany, but instead the blonde just laughed.

"I meant it when I said I know."

"Was it everything you hoped?" she asked not knowing what it was Brittany had wanted from her pregnancy.

Smiling benignly she nodded, "Everything we do together is. I wanted to be with you though the whole experience and I was, though I think I owe Quinn an apology." She said shyly, "It wasn't just about you being pregnant just 'cause. Your experience was totally different from mine and I loved going through all of it with you. Everything we can do as a family I want to, even if it's just once."

"You never stop surprising me you know that?" Santana said.

Brittany frowned quizzically before taking Santana's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, "In a good way I hope."

Santana pulled the offered hand until Brittany was forced to lean over her and kissed her deeply, "In all the best ways."

"Oh, excuse me." Richard said, his head peaking in the door.

"Come on in." Brittany said before giving Santana a final peck on the forehead and standing to offer her seat to her father.

"I'm going to go get us something to eat. Want anything?"

He shook his head and with that she slipped out the door leaving Santana to think she left for the sole purpose of giving them time alone.

Richard seemed just as worn out as his daughter and she suspected neither of them had slept since Ella was born. He shyly handed her a little stuffed bear holding a cub in its arms, she grinned as she took it.

"Sure this wasn't for Brittany?" she joked.

Richard chuckled, "Hailey filled me in on the Mama Bear thing but I think once the girls hit puberty it'll apply to both of you."

"She still loves you." And they both knew who and what she was talking about.

He rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged, "Just not like she used to."

Santana looked at the toy in her hand and turned it slowly as she thought on what to say to the man who thought he had lost one of his children to someone else in every way that mattered. She knew telling him Brittany's love was the same wasn't going to cut it, not unless it came from someone who understood how he felt.

"When we were in school together I used to get away with murder with her because she loved me. I had feelings for her but I was able to push them away, always at her expense, and she let me. It may seem like I don't understand how you feel, but I really and truly do. I thought her love gave me license to do whatever and when she'd had enough and put her foot down I did what you're doing. I took it as a loss of love and I couldn't stand it. It was what had me wondering if she had ever loved me at all even though _everyone_ knew she did. It's the same thing here. You've always had her unquestioning devotion, but suddenly when it comes to me she won't blindly follow your lead anymore and it's confusing. I learned that she never stops loving anyone, however she does have limits. Trying to stop our marriage was one, and she saw your behavior towards me as another. She thought how you acted around me might affect my relationship with our children and she has no patience for that."

Richard smiled and it was the first time she could recall seeing the expression on his face since before she left Ohio, "That makes sense."

"But it doesn't matter now right? We're cool and she still loves you as much as before I ever came along." Santana confirmed.

He nodded enthusiastically, "It's on like Donkey Kong."

"That doesn't work there." She said trying not to laugh at the failed attempt at slang.

"Was trying to stay current so I wouldn't be the out of touch grandpa." He sighed.

Santana smiled deciding not to tell him that Donkey Kong was a bit out of touch even for her generation.

* * *

><p>AN:To those who didn't want to see a pregnant Santana thanks for sticking with the chapter, hope it was readable for you. For those that did I hope it met your expectations. If not, my apologies I tried my best.

The point of this series was to wrap up the unanswered questions from Glimpse and give a little closure for those open ended moments. But I don't believe in beating a dead horse (which is why I didn't post this for so long). If this has ruined your love of the original I truly am sorry because nothing sucks like a sucky sequel (except an original by M. Night Shyamalan).

If you are ever curious about update progress tumblr is the place to be.

Reviews plz :)


	23. Every Beginning

**Every Beginning is Another Beginning's End**

* * *

><p>Santana pulled a chattering Violet up into her lap as the small girl wriggled in an attempt to both get comfortable and show off her drawing even though she had shown it to her mother about a million times. Looking down at her feet she saw a one-year-old Ella looking up at her with bright eyes full of indignation at being left out of the lap party. With a whine she stood and steadied herself on Santana's legs before raising her arms to indicate she was ready to be lifted to her preferred spot.<p>

Smiling, she brushed her soft black hair back a little before rubbing her cheek lovingly, "I know sweetheart just wait for a few more minutes okay?" she said knowing the plea would do nothing to calm her youngest daughter.

"Mama's inside?" Violet asked as Santana leaned forward and booted up her laptop. She had tried to explain video chats to the girl and even though she was nearly three the explanation clearly hadn't been sufficient.

"No hon, she isn't in the computer, but we can see her with it."

It was odd to her that Brittany's nickname of Mama Bear had transferred to Violet making her Mama and Santana mommy. She knew it was a damn sight better than them calling her Santana, but it was still weird because she had always associated that title with the Brittany she had known in Ohio. Being called mommy by her girls made her feel like she had been given a real title, as if the name brought with it all care and parental know how of the other woman. She was fully aware that the notion was absurd but it was how she felt, like it was a verbal confirmation that she could be an exceptional parent.

Ella gave loud whine of disapproval at still being left out of the loop as Santana busied herself opening Skype.

"Can I show dis?" Violet pointed to her drawing as if she wasn't sure whether the computer would be capable of displaying the image.

"Of course." She said.

As she logged in to her account she sincerely hoped Brittany understood the directions she had texted to her for this chat because Ella was getting seriously bent out of shape about still being on the floor and she had promised Violet they would get to see her. For a while she began to think that she would have to pick up a phone and walk her through it but instead her wife's face appeared on the screen, features contorted in intense concentration.

"Fancy meeting you here." Santana said gaining her attention.

Brittany's face immediately slipped into an easy smile, "Oh good I thought I might have deleted a program or something."

"Hi Mama, look!" Violet exclaimed holding up her drawing.

"Ooo, a turtle horsebat." She replied looking at the picture in awe.

"Uh-huh." The small blonde confirmed.

Santana gave the picture a second look, she could have sworn it was a man in a bear coat trying to scale a mountain. Of course Brittany would be the one to be able to correctly decipher such things.

A sharp tug at her pants leg told her Ella had reached the end of her patience, but Brittany beat her to her planed segue.

"Honey where's Ella?"

Santana couldn't keep the grin off her face as she stooped over to collect the girl in her arms, waiting for the right moment to bring her into view.

"Our youngest said her first word today." She announced and as expected Brittany's face was washed over with explosive happiness.

"She did? What was it?" she asked in a rush.

Finally Santana lifted Ella up to her lap and waited for her eyes to find the screen and focus on the person on it. At first she just stared at the image of her mother and for a moment Santana thought she wouldn't say anything, but when Brittany saw her and gave a loving greeting the girl smiled and reached for the screen.

"Mama!" she squealed.

The word had the desired effect, though a little too much so because Brittany looked like she was going to cry, granted it was in a barely contained happiness sort of way.

"She saw our wedding photo up on the mantle and just said it. She misses you, we all do."

"I miss you all too. How are negotiations going?" Brittany asked, still clearly choked up.

Santana was in Ohio, mainly to tour the girls through their grandparents, but also to oversee dealings between the Lima Pop n' Lock and the schools in the area to help promote dance. Some well-meaning kid from a local high school had proposed it and Brittany had thought it was a great idea so she had pursued it. Though it was tough since Ohio wasn't exactly the center for cultivation of the arts so she had to throw her weight around to get anything moving at all. She didn't have a lot of faith that anything would really come of it, but the Ohio studio was inexplicably popular and she had to at least try. Even with the venture being thereason for their prolonged stay.

"I'm on schedule more or less so we should be home in a week." Santana said while trying to keep Ella from attempting to reach Brittany through the screen.

"I can't wait."

"Mama I saw a jirf!" Violet chimed.

"She means a giraffe, we went to the zoo."

The small girl nodded vigorously, "With gama and ganpa."

"Are you still staying with them?" Brittany asked Violet.

"No." she answered simply.

"We're staying with my mom this week. It was like watching the bid for the Olympic games the way they haggled over who stayed with who when." Santana elaborated.

"Mama!" Ella demanded giving Santana a frustrated look.

For a moment it occurred to Santana that this hadn't been the best idea, Brittany looked outright wounded by her inability to offer any sort of tactile comfort to Ella who had been driven to speak for the first time in her life due to her absence.

Since Brittany was booked solid as a teacher back in the Florida studio, Santana had taken Violet and Ella with her. The idea had seemed perfect since Brittany needed to stay in Florida and since Santana couldn't always have the girls with her Carla, Faith and Richard practically fell over themselves for babysitting duty. And though they were young Santana even took them to see what few charms Lima had to offer and they seemed to enjoy it.

But soon both Violet and Ella began to feel Brittany's absence and a week into their trip Ella had become nearly inconsolable until Richard found that she could be calmed by old home videos of Brittany. After the first week they left the Pierce residence and went to Carla's but the change in location brought back Ella's irritation at the continued lack of her other parent. That was until today when she had spotted their wedding photo over the fireplace. The tears stopped and for the first time since arriving she smiled, when given the picture she predictably tried to eat it but luckily the one she had was one of Carla's many extras.

It was Ella's distress that made Santana insist on the video chat in the first place but now she realized that this was a first for her wife. Brittany had never gone a single day without spending at least a couple hours with their children, even on her busiest days. Furthermore she hadn't spent more that two days out of Santana's company since their wedding.

Only then did it occur to her that Brittany was totally alone in their large house for the first time ever, she had been for a whole week and was facing a week more.

"How are you holding up by yourself?" she asked tentatively.

"I'm making it one day at a time." It was clearly meant to be a light joking statement but she was smiling in a way that seemed totally forced as she watched Ella continue to squirm to get to her.

"We'll be home before you know it."

"Mama come here." Violet offered.

"I wish I could, but I'm still working a lot." Brittany replied apologetically.

"After we can all go on a vacation together, no work for me or mama how about that?" Santana tried.

Violet frowned and shrugged as this solution did not solve the immediate problem and Ella had not ceased her quest to travel through the computer screen.

"That sounds great." Brittany answered as neither of their children were offering a verbal opinion.

Santana allowed Violet to go on and explain how and where her illustrated creature lived, she only made sense a little less than half the time but Brittany sat and listened intently taking in every word. Santana had a sneaking suspicion she could understand the encrypted child talk, it wouldn't be at all surprising. When Ella began to get obstinate about her computer traveling attempts she was forced to bring the call to an end.

Luckily the end of the call coincided with bedtime for the girls because Ella had bypassed fussy and went for full on tantrum once the line with Brittany was cut, even Violet had started to get sniffly. Thankfully Carla heard the commotion and came to the rescue as only a grandmother could, she quieted the girls with an infectiously chipper attitude while bringing them to the bathroom to get cleaned up for bed. After the introduction of bubbles to their bath the crisis was temporarily avoided.

Since they were visiting, Santana had assumed they would stay in the guest room together but she was surprised to learn that her mother hadn't changed her room since she had suddenly vanished so long ago. Though she was over feeling guilty about the past she did resolve to visit her mother more since it was something she should have known about and it made it apparent that Carla missed her more than she thought.

Her room still had her old bed and posters with the same dark sheets, the only change now was the crib against the far wall that her mother had bought the moment she heard they were coming. It was large, white and stuck out in jarring contrast to the rest of the room. Though given the circumstances she supposed that was fitting.

After her bath Ella grew instantly tired and was placed gently inside the white barred bed by Carla followed by Violet. The girl was old enough to sleep in the bed with Santana but when in a new place she did best when close to her sister. Besides it was quite adorable to watch Violet snuggle close to Ella and fall into a deep sleep that a freight train couldn't get her out of.

With the lights off she lay down in her old bed and, just like every other time she did, old memories hit her, some sweet and pleasant, others lonely and hopeless. The room held a lot and though she felt silly for it there was a sense of accomplishment at sleeping in her old room with her and Brittany's children. Memories of the past saw her to sleep before she was jolted awake by Ella's cries.

At this point her body was conditioned to respond to the sound of a crying child so she was up and had Ella in her arms before she could register what was actually happening. It quickly became apparent that it was three in the morning, meaning she had been out longer than it felt like, and this was a sporadic sleeping issue. Luckily Violet was a sound sleeper and remained still as Santana found her way to the living room already knowing what this was about. Hoping for an instant fix she tried singing and rocking, but Ella wasn't going to be quelled so easily. Hoping against hope she searched through her mother's VHS collection for the ever-hated stash of home movies hoping to find something that included Brittany. Eventually she hit gold with a recording of her Quinceañera and after spending ten tortuous minutes of handling a screaming toddler while trying to remember how to work a VCR she had the tape playing.

Ella seemed displeased with the new noise in the room forcing Santana to fast forward until a tall blonde girl in a bright purple dress with a matching bow in her hair appeared on screen. She was waving happily at the camera and showing off her dress next to a freshly fifteen Santana who did the same out of pure exuberance at having her best friend at her party.

Ella was temporarily mesmerized by the screen and downgraded her crying to hiccups. The celebration went on and other members of her family came in and out of the shots, but luckily the camera focused mainly on her and Brittany was always nearby. Santana watched their past interactions remembering the day as it unfolded on the screen, she recalled it had been stressful since she had been noticing Brittany in a more than friendly way for almost a year at that point and the other girl had been all over her cousins making her insanely jealous. She knew it was exactly one month after her birthday that they had their first kiss at some senior's party, Brittany had been pretty drunk and Santana had pretended to be.

After a few minutes it got to the part where Brittany pulled the cameraman aside and began to give a speech like it was a wedding video, wishing Santana all the best in her future endeavors. As she recalled Brittany had in fact thought a Quinceañera was Spanish for a wedding held on one's birthday. Once Santana had corrected her she had been very happy to find that her friend was still single. Actually she was pretty sure her elation over it was what had led to the kiss.

The screen changed to her talking with her father who was telling her how proud he was of his little girl. Brittany was still present however she was talking to a boy in a gaudy gold tux and was too far in the background for Ella's liking. The child grumbled but in a distant and tired way as she had almost completely fallen asleep again.

Santana grinned at the way her younger self seemed rather fixated on Brittany's table rather than the way her father was gesturing grandly about the car he had bought her.

Rubbing Ella's head she stood to carry her back to their room, "Yeah, we're both kind of hopeless without her." She said to the now sleeping child.

Carefully she put Ella back in her crib next to Violet whose whole body seemed to relax with the renewed contact. Bone tired, Santana was about to crawl back into bed when she remembered the look on Brittany's face when they had said goodbye.

She knew instinctively those halfhearted assurances that everything was fine were purely for her benefit and even though it was closing in on four a.m. she knew if she called her wife she'd be up.

Grabbing her phone and setting back in front of the television still playing scenes from her birthday she called home hoping the feeling was wrong and her wife would be asleep. Brittany picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" her voice was stuffy and thick, she had been crying and Santana knew why.

"Hey, sounds like you need a little cheering up." She said lightly though a deep frown was on her face.

"Huh? No, I just um-" she cleared her throat and blew her nose in quick succession, "I'm fine, a little dust in my eyes and throat... I was dusting."

Santana rolled her eyes, "You were crying, about Ella I'm guessing." She said simply.

"I can't believe I missed her first word."

"Britt relax, even if we were in town you would have been at the studio or I would have been out with the girls. And you didn't miss Violet's, one and one is a good record if you ask me."

"But what if I miss her first steps next?"

"Calm down, don't start crying over milk no one has spilled."

"What does that even mean?" she sniffled.

"You haven't missed any steps, don't worry."

"I just miss you all so much. When I come home and no one's here… it sucks."

"I know. One more week and we come home okay?"

"A week feels like the longest amount of time in the world." Brittany mumbled.

"I didn't get a chance to ask, how are things at the studio?" she was trying to turn the subject to happier things but the other woman seemed just as morose as when she answered.

"Wonderful. I'm having a great time with my new class and Mike is thinking about starting something for people with disabilities. Since I'm totally booked for a while Jamie said she'd do it. She's great to work with too, but you already know that." Her words were pleasant but Santana knew the conversation had moved on while Brittany had not.

"Please cheer up, we'll be home before you know it."

"But I know it now."

"You know what I mean."

"I do, I'm still sad I missed out but I'm okay really. I'll just go to bed now." She said accenting her words with a yawn.

"Alright. Love you."

"Love you too."

Brittany hung up and Santana stood looking at her pone, the internal alarms in her head going off worse than before she called.

* * *

><p>By morning Santana concluded that Brittany had merely refused to say the words 'Come home.' She was mostly upset at herself for failing to see it earlier and not predicting that the video chat did nothing but make her feel <em>worse<em> about wanting their return. More than likely she hadn't been able to say it because she and Violet had such happy reports, Ella with her tears and tantrums over her missing parent was being the most honest.

Mind made up she canceled the rest of her meetings telling them she had an emergency back home, which wasn't a lie, and didn't feel even slightly bad about leaving. Mainly because this was Ohio and it had nothing that was worth this estrangement. She apologized profusely to her mother for cutting the visit short, promising to visit again, and soon, for a major holiday of her choice with the whole family exclusively staying at her house.

That guilt trip sidestepped, she booked tickets for a flight for the next morning so they could be back in Miami by late afternoon to put Brittany's mind at ease. However, at the airport Violet _somehow_ got her hands on nail clippers that Santana had never seen before causing them to be held up by security. And once they were finally in the air Ella's ears had popped the whole way home and she made sure Santana was every bit as miserable as she was. So by the time they made it to the car at the airport's parking lot the weary woman was ready to go straight home and sleep for a few hours.

Then she remembered Brittany's tears and forced herself to redirect her course for the studio.

By the time they arrived Violet and Ella had fallen asleep but when the car stopped her oldest woke and burst out in an enormous grin when she recognized the building.

"Mama's here?" she asked excitedly.

"Yes we're going to go see her."

Those words had Violet scrambling to try and unfasten her car seat with no success. The mention of Brittany had caused Ella's eyes to blearily open though she was still too tired to make a fuss. Santana understood that as she pulled herself out of the car and unloaded Ella first, knowing Violet would try to bolt the second her little feet hit the ground. And once she was unstrapped she tried to do just that but Santana caught her by the back of the shirt just in time.

"Listen little missy we are going to see mama at work, that means you can't just go wherever you want. Stay with me and I will tell you when it's okay to go see her, understand?"

Violet pouted magnificently but nodded all the same, "Uh-huh."

Santana smiled and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "Good girl now walk, _calmly_, with me." She said and started for the door.

The older child did more or less as she was asked, once they entered the door she continued to walk at Santana's side but a fidgety dance told her the child wanted to dart in all directions to search for her mother.

The receptionist informed her of Brittany's location but just barely, the small wiry man tripped over his words as he realized who exactly she was. She would have told him to relax but honestly it was highly amusing and nothing funny had happened since she reached the airport in Ohio.

She reached the end of the hall and saw from the observation window that she had found the right place. Brittany was teaching what had to be an advanced group a complicated routine and was watching them closely and correcting their movements. Santana watched quietly until Violet pushed up on her tippy toes and peeked through the glass.

Excited she turned to try and reach for the door handle, it was well out of her reach but Santana caught hold of her anyway, "What did I say?"

"But mama's there." She whined.

"I know and she's teaching, you'll have to wait, don't worry it won't be much longer."

She may as well have said it will be eight years the way Violet looked back at her.

Ignoring the wounded puppy stare that would break her resolve to wait, she stood grateful that Ella had drifted back to sleep on her shoulder instead of waking and adding an element of drama to the whole affair.

As it turned out there were only three minutes left in the lesson, but one would be pressed to guess that the way Violet was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet like she had been waiting a lifetime. When Brittany clearly dismissed her students, and Santana gave her bouncy daughter the okay, the small girl dashed to get to the door handle she couldn't reach. Santana had mercy and pulled the latch down, opening the door to let her take off into the room.

Brittany was talking to Jamie when her daughter came barreling down on her and the look of surprise then boundless joy made every pain suffered to get there totally worth it. Violet ran at her with open arms and Brittany picked the girl up easily spinning them both to keep the child's momentum from knocking her off balance.

Santana followed, grinning from ear to ear and when Brittany saw her and Ella she seemed even more surprised, as if she expected Violet to have made it back without them.

Quickly she crossed the room and gave Santana a greeting kiss, "What are you doing here?" she asked clearly still stunned and overjoyed to see them.

"Had some things I needed to take care of here, they took priority over the Ohio negotiations."

"Oh, well whatever it is I'm glad it has you home sooner." She said before showering Violet in kisses that had the small girl squealing with laughter.

The sound roused Ella again and she gave everyone a solid scolding look until her gaze fell on Brittany. The attitude flew away and her irritation changed to pure delight.

Immediately her arms went out to be picked up, chanting the only word she knew how to say, Violet allowed herself to be passed back to Santana's care as Brittany pulled the toddler into her arms and held her tightly.

Seeing the obvious tears in her eyes, Santana suddenly felt horrible for having left at all, "Hope those are tears of joy."

Brittany still held Ella tight and only nodded, not looking up when she said, "I'm so glad you came home."

"How long do you have for break?" Santana asked glancing at her watch.

"Only thirty minutes before my next class." She said clearly regretting it.

"I could take over for you." Jamie said having heard the conversation.

Brittany looked torn over the decision, "Are you sure? You have an exam at school tomorrow don't you?"

"If I'm not ready by now I'll never be." She said with a shrug.

"Jammy!" Violet cheered wriggling to get free.

Once she was on the ground she ran at full speed at her friend and babysitter. Jamie caught her and gave her a small toss in the air before catching the giggling child, "Heya girlie! You have fun in Ohio?"

"Yes. But I missed mama." Violet said honestly.

"I know she missed you too, she hasn't been the same since you left."

"Jamie." Brittany huffed.

"Sorry it's the truth, Mama Bear was wigging out without her cubs." The darker woman told Violet conspiratorially.

"Mommy was too." Violet announced, "She missed mama lots."

Jamie nodded grinning back at Santana who hadn't heard, she had spotted Ella trying to suck her thumb and pulled it away from her mouth earning her a special glare that was identical to the one she had woken to in Ohio years ago. It made her laugh, causing Ella to frown in confusion before putting her hand to her chest and resting her head back into the crook of Brittany's neck.

Noticing the sudden attention she was getting she cleared her throat, "Um, so lunch, how 'bout it?"

Brittany looked to Jamie who shook her head, "Mike and I have to combo lunch and work to talk about the possible handicapable classes."

Santana's eyes narrowed marginally, "You two are always comboing lunch and something... what's up with that?"

With a dismissive roll of her eyes Jamie set Violet down, "Don't even. Okay see you later Vi, and you too madam." She added giving Ella's hand a small squeeze.

They watched Jamie walk to her belongings on the other side of the room before Santana turned and leaned in conspiratorially to Brittany, "What's the deal with those two? Anything new to report?"

"She's still crushing on Mike, he obviously likes her back but I think he's dismissing her because of the age difference."

"Think they'll get there?"

"If Jamie sets her mind to it, she has a way of getting what she wants." Brittany said laughing slightly.

Santana scooped Violet up into her arms and walked with Brittany back to the car, it was a fight to get Ella to release her hold but eventually she allowed herself to be placed in the back as long as Brittany sat between her and Violet's car seats.

They went out and had a huge lunch that made Santana even more tired than she had been, forcing Brittany to drive them home, much to Ella's vocal displeasure. However all was well when the blonde took her time tucking her daughter into her crib, and Violet was so worn out she was half asleep before she even crawled on her bed. Santana was tempted to follow her lead and just go to bed before Brittany had a chance to join her, but she held on. Once Violet and Ella were secure in their beds she got her own escort to bed and the moment her body hit the sheets her muscles relaxed, though they tensed again when Brittany followed suit and ran her hands under her shirt pulling them together in a tight spooning position.

"Hmmm baby I love where your hands are right now but I am too tired to even try anything."

"I wasn't starting anything." She said amusement in her tone.

"I can't help but notice, however, that your hands are under my shirt and moving all over the place." Santana mumbled, sleep dragging her off even as she spoke.

"Well I am officially Mrs. Hands Under the Shirt."

"That you are."

The room was quiet before the hands slowed, then stopped, instead pulling Santana impossibly close. The squeeze brought her back to consciousness just enough to hear Brittany say, "I want you as close as possible right now. I missed you so much it hurt."

And Santana fell asleep with a smile on her face knowing that she had made the right choice and now, finally all was well.

* * *

><p>As it turned out, things weren't as settled as she thought.<p>

From the moment she had woken from her nap everything was back the way it was, Ella was a pleasant relaxed baby and Violet was drawing some creature or contraption to show her parents.

Santana returned to business as usual with Brittany spending all of her free time with her and the kids. But then she began to spend half her breaks driving to and from the studio so she could eat with the girls, and their sex life saw a definite upspike. Not that Santana was in any way complaining. At first she thought it was a result of having been gone so long but after a month of getting jumped in any location where they happened to be alone, even momentarily, she decided that couldn't be the case.

It wasn't necessarily a problem; if nothing else she had learned how to mask an orgasm while on a conference call. However it made her wonder what the source of her the change was.

The answer came at the end of a long day, she had purchased a new restaurant recently and the changes she had made were proving more than lucrative leaving her wondering if she wanted to take over the whole chain. Violet had tried to teach Ella to walk, an event Santana had filmed and sent to her wife, the venture produced no results other than a video that would never leave her hard drive. Ella had capped off her day of exercise by starting a diet, or at least that was how Santana chose to interpret her throwing her sandwich slices at the wall.

By naptime Santana was far too worn out to wrestle Ella from her spot nuzzled at her side or Violet from her drawing that she was now coloring, a cute look of concentration on her features as she tried to stay inside the lines. She knew from experience that Ella would put up a fight if moved from her position and Violet would begin pleading for five more minutes to color for the next forty minutes. Instead of starting that she just remained still and eventually Ella fell into a comfortable sleep and Violet passed out on her drawing, crayon still in hand.

Santana was feeling pretty clever until she realized there was no way for her to get up without waking Ella. Weighing her options on whether or not to risk grumpy toddler wrath she ended up still being on the couch when the front door opened and shortly thereafter Brittany was standing in the living room.

"Hey." Santana whispered to try and keep Ella sleeping, "Do you think you can give me a hand with this one?"

Brittany grinned and moved to pick up Ella, freeing Santana allowing her to pick up Violet and carry her to her room. With the girls finally down for a few minutes Santana fully expected to be brought up to the bedroom for a nooner, but Brittany only returned to the living room and sat on the couch taking Violet's drawing in her hands.

"Looks like you guys had fun today." She said softly even though the girls were far away behind a closed door.

"We didn't go out or anything." Santana replied knowing how much her wife hated missing outings.

"I know, but it seems like a lot happened." Her voice was becoming more distant and for the first time since they had gotten back from Ohio, Santana was genuinely worried again.

"Britt if you want to stay home you can, Mike will understand."

Brittany tilted her head to the side, "I don't want to stop teaching, I just don't want to be so far away from them all the time."

Santana thought for a moment, "Want to start a daycare at the studio?"

"That's an idea, but not the solution." she laughed, "The only people you trust with our kids already have careers."

"Well what do you want to do?"

"I don't know yet." She said before pulling Santana into her lap.

For a moment Santana braced for the inevitable kisses to her ears and neck but instead Brittany just burrowed her face in her back, breathing deeply. It was a little disappointing because she had managed to get pretty excited about their alone time in an almost Pavlovian way.

After Brittany took two deep breaths Santana became suspicious, "Are… Are you _sniffing_ me?"

She could feel Brittany smile against her back, "You smell like everything I love."

Unable to hold back her questions any longer she turned, straddling the other woman and looking her in the eyes, "Hey, what's going on up here?" she asked calmly pressing nudging Brittany's forehead.

"I want to have another baby."

Santana gave her a long searching look, "Why?"

Brittany returned it disbelievingly, "I thought we had talked about-"

"No I mean why now? I feel like this might be less about wanting a big family and more about how you felt when we left last month." She said gently.

"What if it's both?"

"So you want to stop dancing?"

"Only when I'm too pregnant to keep on going." She laughed, "But I wouldn't stop forever, I'll always be a dancer whether I work at the studio or not. I plan to teach our girls and our grandchildren and I will still be movin' and shakin' at our fiftieth wedding anniversary even if I have to do it from a wheelchair or a walker. "

"But if you do that then we'll have three kids who are at home while you're at work, I don't see how that fixes the problem you're having now."

"I think I want to work like Quinn."

Now she was truly confused, "You want to be a lawyer?"

"No, I want to work from home. That way I can always be around the kids _and_ I can actually dance. Right now I mostly teach and though it's fun I don't get any time to do my own thing, especially since when I come home I have so much catching up to do with you guys. And the last show we did was sort of boring, it got good reviews and all but I didn't have a lot of fun doing it."

"So I'll tell Mike to pick better shows."

She shook her head swiftly, "Listen, when you found me here working for Mike I was doing it because he needed dancers, I was helping a friend and we struggled through stuff. But no matter how stupid the performance I enjoyed myself because it meant the studio got to stay open another day. Now we have lots of talented dancers-"

"None as good as you." Santana interrupted.

Brittany smiled and acknowledged her with a kiss, "But we do have a bunch and with you running the finances and promotions I'm a draw to our studio, but it wouldn't collapse without me. I want to do silly parody videos like on Youtube, or maybe even make some real ones and I want to make up my own dances again and have fun doing what I love doing. I would even do some stuff with the girls, and you if you'll join in. We could dress up and do plays together and there wouldn't be any licensing or negotiations to do we could just make up something silly and have adventures with our kids. I enjoy what I'm doing now, but it's not my dream, and it's keeping me from seeing the family I wanted so much to have with you."

Slowly she nodded trying to summarize, "So, you want to make dance videos and teach from home?"

Brittany nodded back, "I don't want to leave Mike totally hanging, plus the advanced students would make good backup dancers for more serious projects."

"And what if Puck shows one of his Hollywood friends the videos and you are asked to go to LA to make a dance movie or something?" she asked quickly knowing her wife was more than talented enough to have that happen.

"Well if they ask me before my children are in school then tough luck and I'll stick to my little setup downstairs. But after, I could be convinced to do a movie or two as long as I didn't have to stay gone too long, and family visits would be a contractual must." When Santana remained silent she prodded, "So what do you think?"

The brunet grinned, already becoming accustomed to the idea of having the other woman home more often, "That is an excellent idea. I would love to help you in any way I can and if you want another baby I am more than happy to make that happen." She said nibbling eagerly at Brittany's neck.

"I believe you were the one that explained that it can't work that way." She laughed as Santana worked her way to her breasts.

"You won't be able to prove that by what's about to happen to you." Santana purred.

* * *

><p>Friday night had become the official Lopez PuckermanFabray Night Out, the excessive name was because Puckasaurus refused for it to be called Couples Night as that sounded too 'old' and Quinn refused to be lumped under the banner of Puckerman as he had yet to put a ring on it.

The night would start with them meeting at one house or the other to deposit all of their children in one location for Jamie to watch. The total was steady at four; Violet, Ella, Joseph and Caleb, but the young dancer insisted that with any more kids she was going to demand double an hour, which made Santana fumble her keys as she readied them from her purse. Upon realizing there was no way anyone knew of their plans yet she relaxed and kissed her children and godchildren goodbye. Puck gave Joseph the usual Behave speech that Santana was sure he would listen to but not because of what Puck said. The three year old could be quite belligerent when he wanted to, however he never seemed to want to when his mother was involved.

Where Brittany was the unyielding protector, Quinn was master disciplinarian, none of their children dared cross her. With the power of glaring alone she could end toy disputes and cancel tantrums, even Ella fell silent. Santana knew better than to even try, Violet and Ella had her under their thumbs in a pinch. Violet knew just how to pout to get what she wanted and had regrettably taught the skill to Ella. Luckily Brittany knew how to be firm in the face of such looks, otherwise they would end up owning every Toys R' Us they walked into.

Step two was to go to the theater to watch any film Puck wasn't in by Santana's insistence when their date nights first began. Instead of his new action movie they ended up in a cheesy romance flick, but Santana was fine with it since Brittany's wandering hands made the trip worthwhile. On some nights they went to galleries or events, on others they saw plays instead of movies, but on this night they all went to the new restaurant Santana had recently acquired to see if it was everything her profit margin said it was.

Normally she wouldn't have made a big deal out of her arrival, she would show up, observe how things were run and make decisions from there, but this night she was with her wife and best friends at a restaurant she owned so she called ahead and made sure it was a red carpet affair. As a result the food was spectacular and there wasn't so much as a whim they could mention in their waiter's hearing that wasn't instantly fulfilled.

Brittany seemed pleased, she did note that the establishment lacked kids meals and though the Savoureux chain were a series of restaurants that was a little too 'high class' for that sort of thing she made sure to make note of it.

"So how are you feeling about the food?" Santana asked the table.

"Fancy, what is this Greek?" Puck asked.

Quinn cast him a glance, "At a restaurant called Savoureux?"

"What is that Greek for 'not Greek'?"

"It's French for 'tasty'." She clarified

"Then they got the name right." Brittany said before taking another bite.

"I was thinking about just owning the chain outright since the owner they have now literally does not care about his business. Their books are a mess and it'll be more work on my plate but I think it will pay off in the long run."

Quinn nodded, "Sounds like a solid investment as long as all the chefs are as good as this one."

Puck tapped his fork on his plate, "So no one is going to tell me if this is Greek or not?"

Brittany suddenly brightened cutting across Quinn's incoming answer, "Oh yeah I wanted to tell you two first, I'm going to stop teaching at Pop n' Lock."

The news had Quinn looking dubious, "But I thought you loved it there."

"I love dancing. And I do love teaching but the thing is I can do both at home. I'll still teach the advanced students who wanted to work with me personally, just not from the studio. I just want to do some awesome performances from the comfort of my basement. Also I did some research and it turns out if you get enough hits on your channel Youtube pays you for it, it's like public access television except they pay you… and people watch it… and it doesn't suck."

"Why do you care it's not like you need the mon-" Puck started before he recalled who he was sitting next to and shoved a forkful of food in his mouth.

"I think it's a great idea Brittany, sometimes earning your own income keeps others from thinking your job is a hobby." She said pointedly looking at Puck who suddenly became interested in his shoes, "But you wouldn't make that mistake would you Santana?"

The brunette shook her head, "Never."

Puck glared and mouthed 'Suck up' at her.

"It's not too hard is it? Trying to work at home?" Brittany asked clearly concerned.

Quinn shrugged, "Trying to start a law firm is hard from anywhere and Joseph is remarkably like his father so sometimes I have to be on guard for the absurd types of mischief he can get into. But with Santana home so much it shouldn't be that big of an issue. I may have to bring a nanny into the picture for a while since I'm finally at a point where I can hire other people and open my firm in an actual building and Puck has that sequel coming up."

"Paresect Hunters Two." Puck said proudly.

"What's a Parasect?" Brittany asked.

"I have no friggin clue."

"_Anyway_," Quinn said firmly, "You should have an easier time of it. Besides soon Ella and Violet will be old enough not to need _constant_ supervision."

"Well we are having another baby-" Brittany began, but Puck started choking on his wine while looking at Santana like she had grown another head and even Quinn seemed a little surprised.

"Not me." Santana said flatly.

As he coughed Quinn rubbed his back and elaborated, "We recently found out we're having another."

Santana's eyebrows flew up, she knew full well that they had four kids in Ohio, but here Puck had a vasectomy after Caleb, "How did that happen?"

"I had the same question." Puck wheezed.

"Don't even." Quinn warned.

"I'm not saying it's not mine, I've been tapping it left and right, you wouldn't have the energy to cheat. I just thought the point of snipping my junk was so this couldn't happen."

All Santana could offer was a shrug, "Nothing's a hundred percent baby proof when your parts don't match."

"Santana's still putting that to the test though." Brittany said casually, making Puck sputter and Quinn laugh.

"This isn't going to mess with your plans for the firm is it?" Santana asked, partially because she cared and partially because the subject needed to change quickly before Puck got his voice back and asked Brittany to elaborate.

"Well I have already interviewed a few people to handle some of my workload so they will just have to take on the whole burden for a while. I'll still do everything short of going to the office and to the courtroom after the delivery but leading up to it I plan to still be on the front lines."

"You can do that?" Brittany asked.

"Oh yes, if anything I find pregnancy makes winning easier. When I walk into a courtroom with blonde hair and a baby on the way I am underestimated, especially if they read what the papers wrote about me. So they show up unprepared because they think I'm just some pregnant blonde bimbo. Then when I come out of the gate swinging they are left speechless to find that I can read my own name let alone know the law. Plus I can get away with badgering a witness because I can blame hormones and during opening and closing arguments the jury is more sympathetic to me and more resentful of the prosecutor when he speaks ill of the defense. I use this prejudice sexist system to my advantage and it feels good."

"She's an evil genius." Puck said.

"I'm glad we're finally acknowledging it." Santana snorted, "But you are going to be there when the baby comes right?" she asked him suddenly serious.

"Of course haven't missed a birth yet and I will have you know I got my woman the hookup on office stuff. All of the pieces are disused props from the Terminator movies." He sounded ecstatic.

"He makes it sound it sound like it's made of solid gold." Quinn sighed.

"Babe it's Terminator! You will have clients lining up around the block just to sit on the furniture."

"I want to sit on it." Brittany said, Puck's excitement getting the better of her.

"Probably has bullet holes in it." Santana chuckled.

"You think?" he asked suddenly even happier, "Nah they would have used blanks for the movie."

"By the way Santana now that we're moving I can pay back the loan you gave me." Quinn said leaving Puck and Brittany to be excited about the furniture.

"The what?" She recalled giving Quinn money since she outright refused to take a cent for her business from Puck, the reasons she was sure were pride related, but she hadn't expected any of it back. She didn't even want it back, she just wanted to see Quinn happy with where she was in life and since she was she hadn't given the money a second thought.

"You were the cornerstone that helped me get on my feet and it's time I paid you back, and, you know I hate owing people."

"I'd rather cash it in for babysitting points."

"With you two trying to keep the baby score even I don't think you have that much cash Lopez." Puck laughed.

Knowing she would get nowhere telling Quinn to just keep the money she nodded, "Whenever you want, there's no rush. But I only want it if I can pick it up from the Fabray Attorney at Law building after you win a case big enough to spare that kind of change, you know as a celebratory gesture to prove it was a good investment. Knowing you it should take a week maybe two."

Quinn knew exactly what she was doing but shrugged nonetheless, being a woman who couldn't turn down that kind of challenge, "Deal."

Puck took another appreciative mouthful before he looked to Brittany, "I get you though, wanting to work from home and all. I have my schedule mostly set for Miami based projects, but I still spend long hours away from home."

"But at least it's exactly what you want to do." Brittany said, "And I wouldn't worry too much about spending time at home, you clearly have enough time to teach Joseph how to belch his name and to give him another little brother. Besides Quinn won't let you grow apart from her or the boys she loves having you around too much."

At Quinn's affronted look Santana had to work hard to keep a grin off her face, "Oh and how do you figure that?" the surly blonde asked.

"Because if you didn't you wouldn't live with him and let your kids have his last name." she said plainly.

"He named the boys."

"Like he would have been able to do even that if you hadn't wanted it."

Puck grinned widely at Quinn who suddenly wanted to discuss Parasect Hunters 2.

The distraction worked because almost instantly Puck was deeply into explaining what his director said _he_ thought a Parasect was.

Santana watched them with a contented smile, her family was all together and more importantly they were happy. She still wore the blue bracelet on her wrist but for a long time it had stopped representing a life in Ohio full of connections she longed for and a little girl who was a great friend. Though she would never forget her experience, the bracelet now reminded her of everything she had and how lucky she was to have it.

* * *

><p><em>Santana had a short list of options at the moment.<em>

_The first, and by far the most appealing, was to get in her car and drive home, but what would that accomplish? Nothing. The second was to lose her fucking mind and make a confession of love in front of everyone laying everything on the line in one final begging plea. But was she that brave or drunk? No. Third was to bow out gracefully and just accept whatever came, but there wasn't enough Xanax in the world to make that happen so she was perpetually stuck on option four; mope around like a the sad pathetic beast that she was._

_Grumbling darkly she picked up a cup full of depressingly non-alcoholic punch and looked around the dance hall that would seem upscale to anyone who had never left Lima. The dour decorations made her feel like she was at a debutant ball instead of a high school prom and the fact that she had chosen a simple navy blue dress only added to it, she picked the color to match her mood but with the whole gym, and subsequently the people in it, in muted and dark colors the effect was lost._

_The whole event was unimaginative and lazy; Figgins hadn't even bothered to schedule glee to sing choosing instead to have some local band play music that was mildly popular ten years ago. There were balloons, streamers and lights but it was still so grim, or was that her mood changing everything? At this point she couldn't tell. All she did know was that the brightest thing at the whole dance was tall, blonde and currently in a dimly lit corner sitting in Artie Abrams lap like she was his fucking pet._

_A hot burning jealousy swelled in her and she tried to quell it by taking another large gulp of punch, but it unsurprisingly didn't help._

_She once again considered going home but decided that at the very least she could spend this one night with Brittany, even if it was to look at her from afar. Then she saw him give her a tender loving look that had Brittany smiling back and Santana turned to leave._

_Her progress was halted by Puck who grabbed her and dragged her to the far wall looking conspiratorial, "You seen Sue? I am going to spike this punch if it's the last thing I do." he whispered looking over his shoulder._

"_It will be when she catches you. And no I haven't, I'm leaving."_

_He gave her an odd look, "Seriously? We've been here like twenty minutes. You should at least get in a dance with your date."_

_She almost asked him who he meant until she recalled there was a football player somewhere out on the dance floor that was supposed to be her companion for the evening, "I'm probably going to book it out of this shit town right after graduation anyway so why bother playing nice."_

"_Not worth it to show everyone your beard one last time before you go?" he chuckled._

_Her eyes went impossibly wide, "Wh-what are you talking about?"_

_At that he laughed, "Santana are you serious? You think no one's noticed you and Britt?"_

_Gulping, she glanced at Brittany who was kneeling next to Artie's chair deep in discussion with him, "I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Okay well that makes just you then."_

"_You don't know shit!" she snapped._

"_Whatever Lopez I'm just trying to tell you that the closet is about ten steps behind you. You aren't as hidden as you think. And you should stop torturing yourself so much about it, if people are going to give you crap about how you live your life don't do them the favor of doing their job for them."_

_She wanted to rage against his accusations but his words were sincere and did provide mild comfort so she sighed and relaxed her shoulders slightly, "Even if I was into Britt she has Meals on Wheels over there so let's just drop it."_

_In a very uncharacteristic move Puck bit his lip, it appeared to her he had something to say that he didn't want to divulge, "I don't think they are as attached as you think they are."_

_From the general mood across the room she could tell Artie was being sweet and kind and Brittany was still smiling softly at him. She wanted to throw up._

"_I have to go Puck."_

"_You should talk to her. If not tonight then soon."_

_Without looking back she cut across the dance floor and to the door only to be stopped again by none other than her highly forgettable date._

"_Hey where are you going in such a hurry?" he asked._

_Santana couldn't remember his name, ironically the only thing she recalled about it was that when she heard it she thought it would be easy to remember. It was David… or Daniel… or it could have started with P… Paul?_

_The boy was tall and handsome with olive skin and light blue eyes that reminded her of a certain someone, probably why she had avoided him all night._

"_I don't feel well, need to get home." she said automatically._

"_Oh come on that is lame excuse. I know chick code and that is another way of saying I'm not paying enough attention to you so you're mad." he sighed and Santana was so lost in trying to figure out how to tell him all the ways that wasn't the case she missed her window of opportunity. "Come on let's do this thing."_

_He pulled her out on the dance floor, his powerful build making it possible for him to not even notice she was resisting, and begin to dance in the most non-rhythmic manner she had ever seen. It was like he had studied this particular beat for years just so he could know exactly which notes to not hit. She tried to leave again when he released her in favor of doing some sort of fist pump dance, but when she turned she saw Brittany coming towards her and suddenly she needed the idiot flailing in front of her. She needed to look like she was at the prom having a good time with her date because looking like a sad closeted Lima loser was not an option in front of the girl who held all the cards. _

_Of course her attempt to synchronize with a boy who was dancing like a drowning man flails didn't exactly mask anything. The blonde watched them dance, well Barry?…Riche? whatever was dancing and she was more or less trying not to get hit by his ill timed movements. As the pulse of the music died down so did Harison's? movements, when it was finally safe to get within range Brittany stepped in between them. _

"_Can I steal your date for a minute?" Brittany asked him politely._

_He gave her a once over and grinned, "You sure you don't want to get in on this action?"_

"_No." she said simply with that vacant stare she used when she really didn't feel like elaborating or being more polite than the already had been._

_At that moment a girl walked by giving Walter? an obvious wink to which he responded, "Yeah fine that's cool." he said never taking his eyes off the other girl as he followed._

_Santana watched him leave with a look of supreme irritation on her face, not that she missed his company. It just went one step further to prove what a farce their date was and she really had wanted to avoid having to talk to Brittany tonight. Looking into those eyes did things to her, they made her feel things that tore her insides up all while making her feel like she could fly. And when she turned around and faced those knowing blue orbs she knew there was no running, they trapped her in place. A slow song filtered down to them from the speakers and Brittany moved close pulling them together in a slow sway._

Of fucking course. Nothing but Usher and Smash Mouth all night and NOW it has to go slow._ She thought bitterly._

_She wanted to pull away from the arm around her waist, it was too much contact with them out in public and both clearly not drunk. All around her she could feel the eyes of the other students and it was making her whole body heat up in a bad way, it felt like they knew. Like they all knew the truth and were laughing about it. Santana knew she was being at least a little paranoid but she couldn't help it, Puck knew and more than likely the whole glee club did. That thought didn't upset her too much, but when she saw Azimio across the hall laughing loudly with his friends she shuddered. Sure in a few weeks she would be free of him but there would always be someone like him wherever she went. It sickened her to know that she would be plain lucky to only get a slushie from someone like him outside of high school._

"_I love your hair." Brittany's soft voice snapped her out of her internal panic and despite herself a small nervous smile appeared on her lips, at least until she remembered Artie and it melted off._

"_Thanks you look nice too." she said flatly._

_Brittany sensed her shift in attitude and sighed, "I broke up with Artie."_

_Santana's eyes snapped to their captors trying to search for an explanation in them that she couldn't see, "Why?" she asked because it was too much to think it had been because of her. Optimism wasn't something she readily invested in these days._

"_Does it matter?" she asked with a light sigh, one that indicated that the answer should be obvious but Santana was too tense to be able to pick up on that._

"_I guess not. But you two seemed pretty close a minute ago."_

"_I was saying goodbye."_

"_You were being pretty chummy for goodbye." she almost snarled._

_Brittany gave her a slight smile letting Santana know that she was being ridiculous and for the first time the Latina picked up on the signal, "I want to take a chance on you." she said._

_Santana felt her insides writhe and suddenly the idea of being with Brittany was more than some impossible fantasy. It could happen, they could be together, but she knew Brittany's terms and, as if on cue, her ears automatically tuned into the sound of Azimio saying something cruel to Kurt and Blaine._

"_Oh?" was the only response she gave._

"_I love you Santana and I know how much you love me. I want to take a chance on you because not doing it would be something I think I would regret for the rest of my life. Yes, I did have a long goodbye with Artie because I love him, but I love you so much more and I love how you feel the same. When I think about us growing old together I know we'll be friends at the very least, but when I try and picture who we'll be married to I can't, and I think that's because it doesn't matter. In the end the picture is better with just us in it." she said smiling at Santana in that way that made her heart melt._

"_Britt it isn't that simple, the world is a hard place for people like… for people who are different."_

_Her smile quirked at that, "You think you have to tell me that?"_

_Santana managed a small laugh, "Point taken." she sighed really wishing the song would end so she could get some distance between the two of them and just think._

"_I'm here in front of you asking you to be my girlfriend. This is me telling you that I want you in every way you can give." Brittany said and her eyes were so serious and steady. Santana had never seen such a solid determination in her before and it was doing that thing to her insides where it felt like they were burning and freezing all at the same time._

_She opened her mouth to answer, she really wanted to answer, she wanted to say everything that she would have had Brittany accepted her offer when she originally confessed her love at the lockers. But Azimio was laughing uproariously as he 'accidentally' spilled his punch all over Kurt's head. _

_Blaine instantly went up in arms gaining the attention of every chaperone and soon the large boy was escorted out. Her eyes returned to Brittany's expectant ones and she couldn't remember what it was she was going to say, she could only see herself being ridiculed for the rest of her fucking life because she didn't know how to not love this one person. Her eyes searched for somewhere else to settle besides on Brittany's that had slight worry creeping into them now. She looked at Puck who seemed to be watching their interaction intently and to Sue who was watching him intently, they went to Rachel who was busy trying to dab red punch out of Kurt's white shirt and failing, they went to the door where there was fresh air and a car that could take her away from all of this._

_She wanted Brittany so badly it made her literally _ache_, she wanted her so badly the idea of turning her down and just being her friend while some other person rode up and claimed the love of her life made that option untenable. From the moment in the woods on some level she knew that with Brittany it was going to have to be all or nothing, she couldn't live at her side as her friend because she was so much more than that. Santana knew the picture Brittany was talking about and she didn't see anyone else in it either, she didn't _want_ anyone else in it. _

_On the other hand she really did not see herself as a person strong enough to shoulder the hate of the world coming down on her because of that picture. Sure she knew that there were places where things weren't so bad, sure she wouldn't be alone and she would have Brittany, but then what? The future was so unsure and what if they didn't work out as a couple then there she'd be, exposed and _devastated_ on top of being outed to the whole world. _

_Her eyes found worried blue ones again and as she looked into them she knew the next words out of her mouth would change her future forever. _

_END  
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><p>AN: Last part was actually the first thing ever written for Glimpse, but I cut it in favor of starting the story with Santana in Boston 10 years later. This was back when I toyed with the idea of her being simply being flung into a future without Brittany and being able to go back to that night and keep it from happening. Added it here as a little bonus with mild modifications to fit the universe I went with, plus I think it leads back to the original quite well for an endless loop of reading LOL._  
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Answering a couple of common questions:

**Why are Violet and Ella in Florida?** I really and truly did consider from the very beginning giving Florida Santana different children but on the whole it didn't sit right with the tone of the story. Though a lot of the storytelling is based around how things are different with the different situations, it was supposed to above all things offer closure. Different _kids_ would just open up a whole new bag of questions; What are they like? What is Santana's relationship with them vs Ohio etc. This way you already know these things and it is a method to let readers know the girls better. Plus this whole thing was based off the actions of Christmas Magic Man in the first place so if you need a plot friendly reason the answer is he did Santana a solid and rearranged some things. I tried to hint at it earlier with Ohio Quinn and Puck's inability to use effective birth control leading Puck to believe they were plain meant to have their kids. That's my reasoning anyway, hope everyone preferred them to totally different OC's.

**What in the hell does Ohio Brittany do besides sit at home?/Does Ohio Brittany still dance?** Actually she does a lot of things when she's home alone, but I never got a chance to really get into it as the story follows Santana. The actual answer is; anything and everything. She still dances (it is her preferred method of losing baby weight), paints and cultivates random skills (whittling, bird calls etc). Assuming I actually post the Ella one shots it would probably come up there.

**EDIT:** Random Glimpses: Side Stories is now up for your reading pleasure.

Thanks for sticking with me on this journey, all your reviews, encouragement, comments and criticisms have been thoroughly appreciated.

Visit me on tumblr for update news or just slap me on author alert if you only want to know when I'm done. Review if the mood strikes :)


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